The Mancunion

Britain's biggest student newspaper

Twas the month of Christmas in the city of Mancunia…

Twas the month of Christmas in the city of Mancunia, and all across the land students were preparing for Christmas socials, swaggering merrily around campuses…

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Twas the month of Christmas in the city of Mancunia, and all across the land students were preparing for Christmas socials, swaggering merrily around campuses in festive delight, for home and free heating were nearly in sight.

Yet first a spectacle beckoned the students to the centre of fair Mancunia, where a small man by the name of Louie Spence was bringing laughter to the children. He flung his legs and had outfits great in glitter, helping an ex-Hear’Say singer win her man who was fitter.

While the young-ones romance grew, seducing one-another with the soulful words of Bruno Mars. The sprightly amongst the town folk of Cheetham-on-the-Hill, did dance a right-lot to the popular songs of the day. Of Madonna’s Vogue did they jig, of Lady Gaga were they Born This Way, the boys faces delighting in the wonder of the choreography, the girls attempting to seduce the entire audience with greatly lined-eyes.

It was Buttons who did steal our hearts on that fine December day, delighting in his wit and crudeness as he attempted to win the hand of dainty Cinderella, who hadst but none of it for her heart lay with another. A good man is it who has been told to jog-on, yet continues to aid fair maiden in the wooing of her chosen one.

The sisters Beatrice and Eugenie, who knewst their step-sister’s beauty better than she, did lock her away, but one could not refrain from a chuckle at these sisters grim. Their synchronicity superb and their hair it did get bigger by each scene, the audience who booed much were inside filled with glee.

This evening would not have been complete without dear old “Fairy G”, who whipped up a coach for Cinderella with not one bit twice a real pony.

Yet the show it must end, as do all good things, but it did with a bang and a Take That hearty sing.  Every old-scrooge in the land did dance with yuletide delight and was consumed with Christmas gladness, on a frosty winter’s night.