Day: 26 February 2012

Was there ever a crueller mistress than false hope? Today life dealt me a savage blow, a blow from which it is doubtful I will ever recover; I am left wracked and wretched, lying helpless at the bottom of a great chasm of despair.

It began as so many tales of calamitous misfortune begin, with an innocuous lunchtime lasagne. The meal deal allowed for thrift, the fare was not wholly unappetising. The diet coke was not own-brand. The garlic bread was acceptably tepid. But the star of the attraction, a lukewarm hulking mass of carbohydrate and grease, was what really did the damage. The first bite was a bite like many others that have gone before; sludgy and damp, almost devoid of taste, just as was expected. Flaccid pasta and congealed cheese substitute; my hunger was soon to be abated. Life was good.

But then things took a startling turn for the worst. I discovered a bean. A green bean, there was no mistake. A foreign body in an otherwise trusty lasagne. At least I prayed that was what it was. Hurriedly, I took the third mouthful, fork trembling with heart-in-mouth trepidation. Alas. All that was to be encountered was more congealed cheese, a wayward tomato, and, horror of horrors: another bean. I continued, hope fading rapidly, to be replaced by the dark realisation of a truth I simply could not face. Thinking back on it now brings a cool shiver down my spine. Surely this could not be. The sign said lasagne. I ordered lasagne. Lasagne was dumped unceremoniously onto my expectant plate. Yet lasagne was not what I was now in the process of masticating. I had been duped. For no matter how many bites I took, the story did not change. The pasta turned to poison in my mouth; for here I was, sat in the University Place café, with not a single piece of meat on my sorry plate. Not hidden behind the soggy garlic bread, not squirreled away behind a carrot. There was no doubt. My meal was vegetarian. I retched. I balked.

I went to McDonald’s.

A common scenario: you’re in University and it’s lunchtime but you haven’t brought any food. Your earlier decision to sleep for an extra two minutes, rather than hastily making a sandwich, now seems unwise. So, where’s the best place to grab food on-the-go; where can one find the best meal deal?

I’ve chosen five options, all near or on campus, which I deem to be the forerunners in satisfying the incessant hunger of students. The three categories are price, quality and range of different items included in the deal.

Boots

Price 2/5 – You’ll probably have to break into a fiver to get this meal deal at £3.29, and no-one likes doing that.

Quality 4/5 – Boots know what they’re doing when it comes to food; it almost feels like Christmas.

Range 5/5 – This is meal deal heaven. Triple sandwiches, Innocent Smoothies – the range seems limitless.

Overall: 11/15

Morrisons

P 1/5 – Instead of a fixed price, Morrisons offer a “buy 3 items, get the cheapest free” deal. This means you’re likely to pay upwards of £3 and you’ve always got one eye on the price of your items. Bad move.

Q 4/5 – I do like Morrisons’ food, and they haven’t let their standards slip for their meal deal.

R 4/5 – There’s an exciting range of food to choose from, so you won’t be disappointed.

Overall: 9/15

Sainsbury’s

P 3/5 – I reckon £3 is the most you can justifiably spend on lunch when you’re on the go.

Q 5/5 – Sainsbury’s shine when it comes to quality; you can get their “Taste the Difference” sandwiches – which cost £3 themselves – as part of this meal deal. Winner.

R 4/5 – No sandwich is too exclusive for this deal, and the drinks extend to Tropicana and Copella. There’s also a pleasing range of snacks; even Walkers Sensations make an appearance.

Overall: 12/15

Subway

P 2/5 – It’s £3 for a sub (which is essentially a glorified sandwich) and a drink – no snack though.

Q 4/5 – It’s Subway. Enough said.

R 3/5 – Unsurprisingly, you can only purchase 8 Subs in this lunchtime deal, but there’s enough choice. Drinks are refillable which is always nice.

Overall: 9/15

Tesco

P 4/5 – Coming in at £2.50, this is the cheapest and very reasonable.

Q 3/5 – I find Tesco to be a safe bet; reliable but nothing special.

R 2/5 – There’s a good range of sandwiches but the limited drinks and snacks let it down badly. Furthermore, you won’t save that much because the three items tend not to amount to much more than £2.50 normally.

Overall: 9/15

So, if you do forget to bring a packed lunch, Sainsbury’s meal deal gets my choice for lunch on-the-go. With its prime location on Oxford Road, it’s no surprise it’s heaving every lunchtime.

Oh, and if you’ve ever wondered about Spar’s meal deal – don’t. Trust me.

I’m deeply ashamed to say that I have never cooked rhubarb. In my childhood I equated rhubarb with gooseberries, which were unacceptable to my young palate. Now that I openly embrace many more hitherto suspicious foods, I can see that rhubarb is not only satisfactory, but is glorious and gratifying.

Before the Second World War, there were over 200 rhubarb growers in Britain, predominantly in Yorkshire. When in season, hundreds of tons of the pink stalks were shipped on an express train from Leeds to London, then out into Europe. After the war, when more exotic fruits became available, rhubarb became unpopular and unfashionable.

However, in recent years rhubarb has experienced a popularity surge in British restaurants and homes. Outdoor-grown rhubarb is slightly different to forced rhubarb which is sweeter and more tender. In 2010, Yorkshire forced rhubarb was given Protected Designation of Origin status, adding to the list of foods and drinks that have their names legally protected by the European Commission’s Protected Food Name scheme.

Rhubarb is quite bitter when unsweetened and thus is often poached, baked or stewed with quite a lot of sugar. It can be used as a compote with savoury foods such as mackerel or pork, but here I have a homely recipe for a rhubarb crumble that is sure to be a tribute to the historic vegetable. Be careful not to use the leaves, they’re poisonous.

Rhubarb crumble

Serves six people

Ingredients for the topping

4oz/ 110g plain or wholewheat flour

4oz rolled oats

3oz/ 75g softened butter

4oz/ 110g soft brown sugar

Method

Preheat the oven to 180°C/350°F. Rub the butter into the flour in a large mixing bowl. When the mixture looks crumbly and even, add the sugar and oats and mix. Set aside and make the filling.

Ingredients for the filling

2lb/9oz rhubarb

3oz/75g (or more to taste) brown sugar

1 level teaspoon ground ginger (optional)

Method

Chop rhubarb into chunks, stew in saucepan over a gentle heat with the sugar and ginger, for 15 minutes. Drain off half the juice when cooked. Place in a pie dish, sprinkle over the crumble topping and bake for 30-40 minutes.

Plum compote

This very, very simply recipe not only suits pancakes but goes with all manner of foods – yoghurt, porridge, even a fruit pie.

Ingredients

A box of plums

8 tbsps sugar, preferably muscovado

1 tbsp cinnamon

Splash red wine or any other alcohol

Method

Stone and roughly chop plums, place in a saucepan, and add all other ingredients. Cover and simmer on a low heat for 6–8 minutes, then gently stir for a further 2 minutes until the plums are soft.

Berry butter

Ingredients

1 cup of icing sugar
½ cup of softened butter
1 cup of strawberries
1 egg yolk

Method

Cut strawberries into small slices. Use an electric whisk to combine the sugar and butter in a large bowl. Continue to whisk, add the egg yolk then gradually add the strawberries (be careful as too many will thin your spread). Generously spread your berry butter across half of each pancake before layering any additional strawberries to rest on top.

Butterscotch sauce

Ingredients

45g softened butter
½ cup brown sugar
¼ cup double cream

Method

Melt butter in saucepan over low heat. Once it begins to turn golden add the sugar. Continually stir for a few minutes before adding the cream. Do not let the sauce boil, it should only thicken. Pour generously over pancakes. Serve with slices of banana or a few walnuts if desired.

Melted Galaxy chocolate

Ingredients

1 bar of Galaxy chocolate

Method

Melt the Galaxy chocolate. This is a notoriously difficult process, but is easy once you know how. First, chop the Galaxy chocolate into small pieces which are the same size: roughly that of an almond.  Put them in a microwaveable bowl and microwave at low heat for 30 second intervals. After each 30 seconds, stir the chocolate to see how well it’s melting. Continue this process until completely melted. Pour onto pancake and let your troubles float away.

Béchamel sauce, grated Gouda and sliced ham

Alternatively, use Emmental instead of Gouda and use mushrooms fried in garlic butter instead of ham for a vegetarian option. This recipe is for the Béchamel sauce; add any quantity of the other ingredients.

Ingredients

500ml semi-skimmed milk
50g butter
30g plain flour

Method

Melt butter gently in a pan. Add flour and stir well to form a smooth paste. Keep mixing, adding the milk a little at a time, getting rid of any lumps. Once thickened, add salt and pepper to taste.

Manchester is host to some very good cocktail bars. You might have heard of Cloud 23, the extravagant 23^rd floor bar in the Hilton hotel or the brilliant array of quirky bars in the Northern Quarter. For a flatmate’s birthday we ended up at a little-known bar at the back of Spinningfields, The Alchemist. It’s a fantastic place to drink cocktails and a great alternative to a heavy club night (at a similar price).

The bar is sleek and stylish with a few nice touches like a film projection on the wall. All the classic cocktails were flawless – the Long Island was served in a metal tankard with definite references to prohibition drinking, but more impressive were the “artisan” cocktails: nouveau-classics with clever twists. Writing this with a horrendous hangover is a failsafe sign of a good night out.

I’ll mention a few cocktails: the French Martini – Vodka, Chambord and cranberry juice topped with pineapple foam and raspberry dust, the Mexican Elbow – tequila, agave syrup, lime, Beck’s Vier and ginger beer, and the Antica Collins – a classic Collins mixed with Carpano Antica Formula vermouth. However, what most impressed me was the Smokey Old Fashioned, made in a conical flask and infused with oak chip smoke, served in hefty rocks of glass containing a ball of ice.

The price of cocktail bars will most likely discourage students from going, from £5.95 up to £10 a drink – but it’s really worth it. Look out for deals they have on food and drink on the Facebook page. Try it even if just to get dressed up for a birthday or post-exam celebration and make sure to keep exploring the great bars Manchester has to offer!