The Mancunion

Britain's biggest student newspaper

We Ask, You Answer – Drunken tales

This week… your most embarrassing drunken tales


Last year, I got home from Uni for Christmas at 4 o’clock. By 8 o’clock I was out downing pints with some old mates. As soon as we reached the club we were going to, I started giving the bouncer some abuse. He kicked me out and, once I was some distance away from him and his bouncer friends, I shouted, “I could have kicked your asses anyway!” I then fell flat on my face. My little sister ended up having to take me home. That was pretty embarrassing.

After a bad break up, I decided to heal the pain with alcohol. My friends and I were predrinking and I had already managed to get seriously sizzled in my fragile state. Wonderwall by Oasis came on and I decided to get up on a chair, remove my top AND my bra and do some kind of sad sexy dance. One of the guys there decided to capture it on video and I’ve never lived it down.

My best friend and I were on a girl’s night out. We met two marines, got with them and then headed back to their barracks at about 5 am. We had to be snuck into the barracks and got caught in the act. A commander emerged and began shouting at the guys. One of them shoved us into a bush to hide from the commander and then they both ran off. Digging our way out of that bush was hard work…

I got so drunk one Christmas that I fell into my mum’s real Christmas tree – in front of my whole family. I was scraped off the floor with pine needles sticking out of my hair and put to bed. I wanted the ground to swallow me up the next day and my mum had to get a fake replacement tree. She was not happy!

During Fresher’s Week I got completely intoxicated and ended up stumbling down an alleyway once the night had finished. I fell asleep on the doorstep of a Fire Exit and woke up at 7 am and had to ring a taxi back to halls. That was pretty rough.

My friends and I went to Missoula on Deansgate Locks one weekend. I got so drunk that I ended up giving a man who was at least 50 a lap dance. My friends found it hilarious but I was mortified when I was reminded about what I had done the next day!