Oliver Taylor joined Thom who is the president of the Comedy Society. As we arrive to meet Thom, he is playing David Brent’s Free Love Freeway on the guitar and enjoying a cup of milky tea.
So Thom, why are you a BNOC? I wouldn’t see myself as a BNOC as such but I would see myself as a guy who gets a lot of pussy!
What about a BNIC (big name in comedy)? I am, and we do a lot. This term we aim to focus on stand up, to get our members who have talent to perform stage shows.
Can you tell me a joke? So Harold Shipman is in a curry house and the waiter comes up and goes “Are you ready to order yet” and Harold Shipman says “I’m not that hungry yet but I could murder a naan”.
I can see why you’re a BNIC, are you going to try and increase your campus profile? Yes and I intend to do that (tries to leave). Yes I am, I intend to do that through (breaks down in laughter for a considerable amount of time before apologising). This isn’t Parky is it?!
I think you are a BNIC though, have you ever been recognised as president of comedy society? Yeah I have. Sadly we are a sausage fest, but you know.
Have you ever had any success with the ladies through being president? Yes, but only in my hometown of Maidstone Kent which is a bit of a dump.
So how did that go down? Yeah she quite liked it. I got with her but then I didn’t sleep with her as most girls from Maidstone are pregnant!
So how did you make your move? Did you say “I’m Thom and I’m a BNOC”? No, it just came up naturally in my club banter. We got talking and she was actually quite clever for someone raised in a town as bland as the one I was raised in.
But how come you’re not bland? I’m not funny, I just run the thing.
But what about that joke about Shipman? That wasn’t really funny…
How many Facebook friends do you have? 660. I think it’s a pretty classy figure seeing as I rarely add people.
Who would you like to overtake in the BNOC hierarchy? I guess if I were able to beat Nick Pringle, I’d be happy.
Why should you be more of a BNOC than him? I have a better surname than him.
Once you pop ‘Nixon’ you can’t stop is better than once you pop ‘Pringle’ you can’t stop? Exactly, I mean. Watergate v. crisps: I know what wins.
So if you were a meal what would you be? I would be a large serving of squid, as I’m fragrant, fishy and loveable.
Who do you think is less of a BNOC than you? Most people but if I had to say I would say the enormous fresher. I don’t know his name but he wears very tight t-shirts and hangs around in the library.
Do you really think he is less of a BNOC than you, that’s ridiculous. He’s on spotted in the library. Have you ever been on it? I’ve chosen not to be.
This interview is over!
Mancunion BNOC rating: 1/10. Many thanks to Thom and the Manchester Comedy society for being such sports and agreeing to do the interview.