The Great PDA Debate

Last week Molly Allen criticised the Facebook PDA, but this week, Claudia Carvell is embracing the original PDA.

When entering into a new relationship, you have to test the waters to find out what your other half is comfortable with when it comes to public displays of affection. Having established a safe ground between the two of you, you must then negotiate the reception of your PDA by the general public. Being in a relationship myself, I have often noticed disapproving looks from others when I kiss my girlfriend goodbye. However, having said that, I often find myself looking critically at other couples engaging in PDA. So, how much is too much when it comes to alfresco affection, and where do you draw the line between being yourself and appeasing others?

It goes without saying that intercourse and the likes are off the cards. For the most part, it’s illegal and it’s unlikely that parents will want their children to learn about the sexual world from the couple at the back of the 143. Surely though, kissing in public is a different matter?  Our parents, our friends, our siblings and even our grandparents kiss (shock horror). We know it goes on, and we know that it’s a natural display of affection, so why are we so bothered about seeing it in the flesh?

For those 698 people who have liked the ‘I hate PDA’ Facebook page, public displays of affection are not okay.  Ever.  One argument is that it is a sign of immaturity. This need to be affectionate with a partner in public, apparently, demonstrates insecurity within the relationship and thus, the argument goes, is not a natural act but one of possession and boastfulness. Whilst I can appreciate this opinion and it cannot be ruled out in some cases of excessive PDA (namely dry humping and extreme groping), it does not explain the entirety of the situation.

For those on the other side of the PDA debate, kissing your partner in public should not be frowned upon. As a natural act of affection it shouldn’t be supressed unnecessarily for the sake of an uncomfortable few. These pro-PDA-ers fairly claim that nobody has the right to suggest that we curb our natural and unimposing desires, in order to accommodate for the potential and unjustifiable disgust of others. After all, we are no longer in the Victorian era.

It has to be said that nobody complains when photos of Kim Kardashian snogging Kanye West are plastered all across the front of magazines. However, it’s ‘uncalled for and unnecessary’ when a non-celebrity couple are seen kissing outside Tesco. I’m beginning to think it’s not the act of PDA itself, but its proximity to our personal space that bothers us most. Maybe we don’t want to be confronted with our single status or lack of affection, but that doesn’t warrant us condemning those who want to engage in PDA.

In my opinion, we’re way too rigid when it comes to PDA. America even have a National PDA day, (June 20^th if you’re interested) when people are actively encouraged to show affection towards other people, in public. As appalling as it may sound to some of you, I think it’s a great idea. The Free Hug Campaign, which started in Australia in 2004 and spread across the world, had the same idea. Affection is important no matter where you are. So, as inevitable as it is that someone will feel uncomfortable when I kiss my girlfriend in public, I don’t think that that is a good enough reason for me not to do it. All people kiss, hug and hold hands, so it’s about time we accept their right to do so publicly.