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Day: 14 October 2013

Classics digested: The Great Gatsby

WHO is the author?

F. Scott Fitzgerald is commonly cited as one of the best writers of the 20th century. His work is strongly associated with life during the Jazz Age. Many of his works were heavily influenced by his turbulent marriage to Zelda Sayre. He only published four novels during his lifetime, with his final work, The Last Tycoon, released posthumously. His other focus was short stories, of which he published several collections. Two of his most famous were The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Babylon Revisited, both of which were adapted into films.

WHAT is it about?

Told from the point of view of Nick Caraway, a young man who has recently moved to New York, the story starts with Nick visiting his cousin Daisy and her husband Tom. Here Nick discovers Tom is having an affair which is known to all but Daisy. Nick finds a new house next to the home of the enigmatic Jay Gatsby, a man famous for his extravagant parties which he never seems to attend. Over time Gatsby and Nick grow closer, due to Gatsby’s desire to find Daisy, a woman he was due to marry years beforehand but who was deemed too poor. As the summer continues, and the temperature rises, tempers become frayed and tragedies occur.

WHY should you read it?

A contender for the great American novel and often placed amongst the most distinguished works of American literature, The Great Gatsby is a book very close to many people’s hearts. It has often been adapted into other mediums such as film, ballet and even video games but the novel is the original and the best version due to Fitzgerald’s exquisite use of language. And it’s less than 200 pages. How often can you read a classic in an afternoon!

Classic quote

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

The MANchester Booker Prize 2013

Over the past few weeks, our reviewers have been busy reading the six books that made this year’s Man Booker Prize shortlist.

Now, it’s your turn. Have a look at their reviews and vote for your favourite below!

[poll id=”1″]

The MANchester Booker Prize winner will be announced on October 15th – just in time for the unveiling of the winner of the Man Booker Prize.  Let’s see how close Manchester students’ views are to the Booker judges’!

The reviews

Jim Crace’s Harvest by Shanda Moorghen

Colm Tóibín’s The Testament of Mary by Katie Myerscough

Ruth Ozeki’s A Tale for the Time Being by Elizabeth Linsley

Eleanor Catton’s The Luminaries by Elizabeth Mitchell

NoViolet Bulawayo’s We Need New Names by Maisie Boggild-Jones

Jhumpa Lahiri’s The Lowland by Annie Muir

We Need New Names by NoViolet Bulawayo

Born in Zimbabwe, author NoViolet Bulawayo moved to the US as a teenager, and her Man Booker Prize shortlisted novel We Need New Names tells a similar story of a young girl who relocates from Zimbabwe to a new life in America.

We Need New Names is Bulawayo’s debut novel, and is an extension of her short story, “Hitting Budapest”, which won the Caine Prize in 2011.

Told through the eyes of young Darling, We Need New Names juxtaposes the bleak backdrop of Paradise, a perhaps inappropriately named Zimbabwean shantytown, with the warmth that our protagonist and her friends radiate with their bright outlook and youthful energy, in spite of their surroundings. Although she realises her dreams of escaping Zimbabwe for a different paradise, America, Darling soon discovers that no matter where you live, life is rarely without its challenges.

Bulawayo’s artful use of language breathes life into the characters, particularly Darling, whose idiosyncratic narrative voice gives colour and depth to the story throughout. We Need New Names is a thought-provoking social commentary on the state of Africa, America and the lives of immigrants today; poignant and often dark but told with a heart-warming sense of humour.

As the first black African woman and first Zimbabwean to be shortlisted for the Prize, NoViolet Bulawayo is a refreshing addition to the line-up and We Need New Names is certainly a formidable contender for the top spot.

The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton

The Luminaries is only Eleanor Catton’s second novel. Her first novel, The Rehearsal, was a published form of her thesis for her MA in Fictional Writing. Aged 27, she is the youngest ever author to be shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize. So what is all the hype surrounding this New Zealand author about?

The first thing anyone will undoubtedly notice about this book is its size. At 832 pages, it is by far the longest Booker contender this year. But, my dear readers, I urge you not to let this put you off: embrace the gigantic tome for it shall reward those with perseverance!

Set in 1886, The Luminaries opens with Walter Moody arriving in the town of Hokitika, New Zealand one wet and windy night. A quiet, Cambridge-educated man accustomed to his club in Edinburgh, Moody has travelled across the globe to try and make his fortune in gold digging. Entering the smoking room of the Crown Hotel, he plans to enjoy a stiff drink but, lo and behold, things are not all that simple. Little does he know, Walter has interrupted an oddly assorted group of 12 men. Forming some kind of furtive council, this group have secretly assembled to deliberate over the bizarre spate of crimes that occurred in Hokitika a fortnight before. Inevitably being sucked into the proceedings, Moody gives ear as the dozen each tell their account of the night the incidences occurred.

The Luminaries has the all the traditional features of a good mystery: a murder, an attempted suicide, an apparently estranged wife, an unexpectedly large sum of money and a slightly dysfunctional detective-like figure. What makes it a cut above its contemporaries in the genre is the structure and writing itself. Although lengthy, Ulysses this is not; you never realise how much you’ve read. The book’s sections are broken down into manageable chunks of decreasing size, mimicking the cycle of the waning moon (and mirroring a brilliant plot feature that shall not be spoilt here). The prose paints a vivid picture of 19th century life Down Under, in a way that puts it on a par with a classic from the era, but without leaving the reader feeling assaulted by adjectives. The Luminaries truly is a masterpiece of our time.

The Lowland by Jhumpa Lahiri

Born in London to Indian immigrants from the state of West Bengal, Jhumpa Lahiri moved with her family to America when she was two years old. She grew up in Kingston, Rhode Island, where her father worked as a librarian at The University of Rhode Island.

Lahiri’s debut short story collection, Interpreter of Maladies (1999), won the 2000 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, as well as a PEN/Hemingway award and the New Yorker Prize for Best First Book. Her first novel, The Namesake (2003), was adapted into a film directed by Mira Nair, and her second collection of short stories, Unaccustomed Earth (2008), went instantly to number one on The New York Times bestseller list.

Her new novel The Lowland (2013) is shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize, and has also been longlisted for the National Book Award for Fiction. The story begins by describing the lives of two Bengali brothers, Subhash and Udayan Mitra, growing up in Calcutta in the ‘50s and ‘60s. Both are attracted to the radical communist movement of the Naxalites, but only Udayan pursues it to the point of destruction, while Subhash leaves his brother and his country forever to go and study in America. The story then follows the life of Subhash as the decades roll on, unravelling a carpet of compromises, mistakes, lies, and woes.

A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki

A Tale for the Time Being tells the story of Japanese teenager Nao through her diary that is washed up on the Canadian coast. Her diary is found by Ruth, a Japanese-American novelist struggling to write her own memoir. The stories of Ruth and Nao are woven together through the novel, and Ruth becomes obsessed with finding the enigmatic and suicidal Nao.

The theme of time runs deep throughout the novel, in both Nao and Ruth’s strands of the story, and the passage of time feels somewhat distorted. The story drags you in the same way Nao’s diary was dragged by the ocean from one continent to another. In the same way that the bag containing the diary was pummelled by the waves, the book hits you with its original, sometimes bizzaire, but always moving way of looking at the world.

The passage of time is represented by both Ruth’s recently dead mother and Nao’s 104-year-old grandmother, a Buddhist nun and Nao’s one source of happiness. Death is mentioned throughout the book, right from the beginning where Nao imagines and foretells her own death, in the half melodramatic half deadly serious manner only a teenager could achieve.

The fearless youth of Nao contrasts with Ruth’s cautious nature, and Ruth seems to represent the person Nao may grow up to be, although Nao’s constant talk of her own death doesn’t leave you hopeful that she will ever have time to become that woman. They share the bond of both being from Japanese and American backgrounds and therefore both share the same feelings of alienation and not knowing where they belong in the world.

This novel is a beautiful expression of trying to capture an exact moment of time in writing, of trying to express what Nao would call ‘the time being’ in words. However despite the impossibility and futility of the nature of this task, the novel ultimately remains optimistic and is an excellently written tale.

The Testament of Mary by Colm Tóibín

It is surprising that the short novella, The Testament of Mary, by Colm Tóibín hasn’t courted more controversy. The subject of the work is certainly explosive: Mary, mother to Jesus, narrates the transformation of her son from child of Nazareth to religious revolutionary to Son of God.

Jesus is an enigmatic figure and emotionally distant from his mother, whilst his followers are ‘misfits’, the type of “men who could not look a woman in the eye”. After Jesus’ death two ‘guardians’ visit Mary regularly, getting her to recount her story in order to record it. Presumably one of these is John (who will write Jesus’ story and in the process secure his own place in history); he is seen as calculating and methodical. The story that Mary tells is not the one Jesus’ followers want to hear; they do not recognise her Jesus. Mary will eventually have to accept their version as gospel truth.

This a slim novella, only 104 pages long, and the prose is sparse yet strangely lyrical. Not a single word is wasted. Mary’s raw grief and anger fly off the page, and there is a general sense of sorrow throughout; the sadness is of a mother’s loss of a son not of a saviour. There is a haunting quality to the work and also an evocative sense of fear. The recalling of the crucifixion is masterfully done, as it explores the complicated mix of Mary’s feelings in a deceptively simple way.

The novella raises many questions. Tóibín’s work suggests ways in which myths are created and enforced. In his exploration of Jesus’ raising of Lazarus (who comes back with screams of agony and remains in pain), Tóibín questions the desirability of immortality and whether the miracle was a good thing or not. One of the reasons why this novella is a strong contender for the Man Booker Prize is because it forces the reader to think about accepted stories in a completely different light. This moving novella will certainly stay in your mind for days, gnawing away at previously held beliefs and convictions as only good literature can.

Harvest by Jim Crace

Over a career that has spanned more than 25 years, Jim Crace has been a prolific writer, with more than 10 books and as many literary prizes. However, his most recent novel, and what is apparently his last, might finally give him the chance to win the much-coveted Man Booker Prize.

Crace’s little gem, Harvest, is a beautifully written tribute to those affected by the Enclosure Acts implemented a few centuries ago. In a poetic prose similar to that of William Golding, he tells the story of Walter Thirsk over a biblical seven days set against the backdrop of a semi-pagan village with no church. This little village, where “if you’re not a Saxton or a Derby or a Higgs yourself, you have a score of relatives who are,” has to deal with the prospect of outsiders disturbing their peace and living off their land.

Walter Thirsk arrived in the village a few years before and tells the story of how one harvest week changed their lives. From the belief that three strangers who set up camp not far from the village were hardened outlaws who planned on plundering their land to the arrival of well-dressed gentlemen who would take away the only life they have known, Crace guides us into a whirlwind of emotions with no apparent way out. We share the pain of the landowner Mr Kent and we share the villagers’ rage at the arrival of his cousin Jordan and his henchmen. In typical Crace fashion, we feel affection for characters that are less than likeable. At the end of the week, it is a goodbye to a way of life and, symbolically, a goodbye to Crace.

Crace’s writing sends us to a more ancient period, a period to which we are so oblivious that we need to keep absolute faith in the direction towards which he is leading us. However, in the end, he leads us to the fireworks; Harvest, being Crace’s last book, might be remembered as his chef-d’oeuvre. The Booker Prize awaits.

Nobel Prize winning scientist to receive Honorary Degree

Football legend Sir Bobby Charlton and Nobel laureate Peter Higgs are getting Honorary Degrees from the University of Manchester this week.

Frances O’Grady, General Secretary of the British Trades Union Congress, and Professor Mario Molina, who became the first Mexican-born citizen to receive a Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 1995, will also be receiving Honorary Degrees as part of the University’s Foundation Day celebrations on Wednesday 16th October at 6.15pm in Whitworth Hall.

Edinburgh-born Higgs has been in the news recently after winning the Nobel Prize in Physics. He won the award, along with Belgian Scientist Francois Englert, for their work in creating the theory of the Higgs Boson particle and their proposal of the mechanism which explains why the most basic building blocks of the universe have mass.

The Higgs Boson, nicknamed the “God particle”, was first theorised in 1964 and confirmed in March 2013 by those working on the Large Hadron Collider. Higgs, an atheist notorious for shunning fame, has shown dislike for both the God Particle nickname as well as its Higgs Boson title, preferring to call it the “scalar boson”.

Sir Bobby Charlton, member of England’s 1966 World Cup winning side and England and Manchester United’s top scoring player, has previously worked with the University of Manchester as part of his Find A Better Way charity, an organisation which researches new ways of detecting and clearing landmines.

Student loans insufficient, claims NUS study

Student loans and grants do not meet the rising cost of rent and bills, according to a study by the National Union of Students.

The average student’s cost of living and studying in the 2013-14 academic year would amount to over £7,600 more than that student would receive from government loans and grants, the study found.

For the average student living outside of London, the NUS suggests the combined cost of tuition fees, books, rent, bills, travel and other living costs would be about £21,440. However, even a student who comes from a family on an average or low income would only receive up to £13,740 when tuition loans and maintenance loans and grants are added up.

The study also draws attention to the fact that as rent and bills continue to rise above the level of inflation, grant and loan rates have been frozen this year and shall only rise one per cent next year.

And the NUS claims some students from poorer families are facing additional financial challenges. The household income level at which students may claim the highest grant support has remained fixed at £25,000 since 2008.

NUS president Toni Pearce said, “Those who do not have the rare luxury of resorting to the ‘bank of mum and dad’ are increasingly being driven to work full-time alongside study where jobs can be found, or worse still, into the arms of predatory pay day lenders just to make ends meet.

“We need a financial support system that ensures students get the support they need, when they need it.”

The Mancunion spoke to students who are facing the stress of juggling their studies with maintaining employment.

Peadar Ó Raifeartaigh, third-year neuroscience student, said,Once I’ve paid the rent on my accommodation, it leaves me with just about enough to cover food costs. I came to Uni for the student experience, not just to eat, sleep and study. I’ve had to get a job in my final year to cover travel fees, to pay for books, and to have some left over to socialise.

“Finding time to complete my final year assignments and working late nights in a local bar is putting unfair stress on me as a student, and something needs to change.”

Maths student Elliot said, “My loan doesn’t cover the cost of living. With no other source of income, I’ve had to get a job and it’s pretty hard trying to manage my studies alongside it.”

A spokesperson for the Department for Business Innovation said that student loans and grants aimed to help those who most needed financial assistance.

“This year, students from the lowest income households can access over £7,100 of living-cost support, of which over £3,350 does not have to be repaid.

“The government also provides additional, non-repayable support to students in specific circumstances, such as students with children and disabled students.

“Scholarships and bursaries are also available from most universities, and students in hardship can apply for additional support through the Access to Learning Fund.”

The Student Loans Company faced criticism in 2009 after an estimated 116,000 students began term without receiving financial aid due largely to administrative errors. There are some who feel that Student Finance is still failing to adequately help those who need it most.

Rochelle Silverstein, third-year Geography student, told The Mancunion although she applied for Student Finance in early August, the same time as many of her friends, she was told that her application was sent too late and thus she is still waiting on receiving her funding. This is despite the fact her the friends who applied at the same time have already received their loans.

She was told the reason for the delay was her loan was income-assessed and that she would receive her loan and grant on the 5th of October. But, her loan still has not come through, she was told that her application had been processed but not validated by the final assessors and so she would have to wait for another 30 working days.

“It’s a case of them making those who need the money most wait the longest for it,” she said.

Careers Service post LAD Bible job opportunity

After posting a tweet advertising writing opportunities for the ‘LAD bible’, the University of Manchester Careers service were embroiled in controversy last week.

The tweet, sent from the Careers Service’s ‘Manchester Media Club’ account, invited potential contributors to email samples of their work to a member of staff at the LAD bible.

A screenshot of the tweet was posted on Facebook by Women’s Officer Tabz O’Brien-Butcher, prompting comments labeling the tweet an “absolute disgrace” and “unbelievable”.

Tabz later told The Mancunion she was “shocked” to see the tweet posted.

“[The LAD bible] is a a well known misogynistic website which trivialises sexual assault, demeans women students and encourages the bullying of young men who do not adhere to their sexist standards”, Tabz said.

The Media Club have since deleted the tweet and posted an apology.

“We apologise for inadvertently posting a tweet yesterday re: writing opportunities for an apparently misogynistic website,” they tweeted.

The decision to delete the tweet was made “to stop any unintentional offence caused to our students/graduates, with immediate effect”, said Head of Careers Information, Advice and Guidance Andrew Whitmore. “It contravened our policies [regarding] advertising opportunities.”

The Careers service’s policies, available online, state that they “reserve the right not to advertise vacancies or voluntary opportunities which in our sole opinion are not suitable for advertising through our service, or which we feel are not in the best interests of our students and graduates”.

Vacancies that “are associated with adult content” fall under this definition, according to the website. Posts on the LAD bible website are frequently sexual in nature: one current post suggests “whether it is my destiny to turn a lesbian back into a meat lover.”

Andrew Whitmore continued, “We take these matters very seriously.

“It was re-tweeted from MediaMuppet [a media job aggregator] in error.”

After receiving official complaints from women students about sexism on campus, Tabz stated that she was “absolutely disgusted and appalled”.

“I’m also angry, but not shocked. Angry that women students have to deal with this. Unsurprised because unfortunately, as Women’s Officer, I hear about similar incidences all of the time.”

A recent NUS survey found that 50 per cent of students had experienced some form of ‘laddism’ on campus.

The first Women’s Campaign Forum of the year is set to take place next week, and is entitled “We’re bored of the BANTER!: Tackling Lad Culture on Campus”.

It invites students to “share experiences of Lad Culture on campus” and “discuss the impact of this culture”.

The event description also says, “Together, we will look at how we can challenge this culture and start to develop a creative campus wide campaign that will call out Lad Culture at Manchester and make the change you want to see on campus!”

Tabz added, “It sometimes feels as though ‘Lad Culture’ is weaved into the fabric of campus life.

“But working together, we can unpick these harmful threads and start to weave a new more inclusive culture in our Universities!”

The LAD bible did not respond to requests for comment.

England’s young adults lagging behind in literacy and numeracy

England’s young people are among the worst in the developed world for literacy and numeracy rates, according to a significant new study.

When results were adjusted to account for socio-economic factors, we were the only country in the study where participants from the older generation outperformed young people in both literacy and numeracy, of 166,000 people aged 16 to 65 in 24 countries tested.

The Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) study also claims there are approximately 8.5 million adults in England and Northern Ireland with the numeracy ability of a 10-year-old. A recent OFSTED report found that if a young person had not achieved proficiency in literacy and numeracy by the time they were 16 then there was only a one in seven chance of them achieving it by the time they were 18.

While 55 to 65-year-olds in England scored 11th highest in numeracy and 3rd highest in literacy, 16 to 24-year-olds ranked 21st for numeracy and 22nd for literacy. Northern Ireland scored higher than England but still only came 18th for numeracy and 19th for literacy.

Despite spending the most out of all the nations involved on higher education programmes, the United States was ranked bottom of the list for numeracy and second bottom for literacy. In both categories, Japan and Finland were ranked within the top three.

The study suggests that despite the continual rise of exam scores of students in England and the large increase of English young people going to university, there has been no improvement in terms of actual skill levels of people aged 16 to 24.

Andreas Schleicher, Division Head and Co-ordinator of the OECD Programme for International Student Assessment, mentioned the possibility of grade inflation and the error of equating higher qualifications with higher skill levels, pointing to the fact that many Japanese secondary school pupils scored higher than English graduates in both tests.

He said, while a degree is important, “what’s really important is where you got it and how you got it.” He also said, “more education doesn’t automatically translate to better skills, better jobs, better lives.”

But, despite Mr. Schleicher’s assertion that more education doesn’t necessarily lead to better jobs, the study found the correlation between adults’ skill levels and their chances of being employed and earning a higher wage is higher in England than in other industrialised countries.

The Work Foundation think tank’s director Ian Brinkley believes the study shows the “relative decline in the economy’s skills base” in the UK and that the nation is facing “a major generational challenge”.

Professor Chris Husbands, director of the Institute of Education said, “We have never – culturally, politically – thought about what we want our education system to be like for all our children. That, for me, is the big historic failure. We have to get it right and time is running out.”

Skills Minister Matthew Hancock called the report “shocking”. He said, “These are Labour’s children, educated under a Labour government and force-fed a diet of dumbing down and low expectations.”

Prof. Husbands argues the poor results are sign of a longer-running issue.

“It’s not a problem of the last five years. It’s not a problem of the last 15 years. It’s not a problem of the coalition government. It’s not a problem of New Labour. It’s not a problem of the Thatcher government. It’s a problem of consistent and persistent failure over 30 years to address skill development at the lower end of the attainment range.”

Manchester’s rainy reputation debunked

Manchester’s rainy reputation may have started with a rain map, found in a council report from 1926.

Manchester Corporation recently published the report, digitised by Dr Martin Dodge.

“We take for granted that the British have always seen Manchester as its rainiest city, but in the 1920s this wasn’t necessarily the case,” said Dodge.

The 1926 report emerged from a collection, including eight others, as being the most detailed record of the area to date.  It was originally published by the “Manchester and District Joint Planning Advisory Committee.” The rain map, included in the report, showed Manchester, Bolton, Bury, Rochdale and Oldham receiving copious amounts of rainfall.

Dodge debunked the myth that Manchester is the UK’s rainiest city, “In fact, this is clearly a myth: just this January, the Met Office showed that far from being the UK’s rainiest city, our city is one of the driest.

“So the perception must have come from somewhere and this compelling map might at least partly explain it, though its intention was merely to describe the physical landscape of the region as part of a survey.”

Councillor Rosa Battle, Manchester City Council’s Executive Member for Culture and Leisure, said, “We’re always mystified when people make the strange claim that it always rains here.  Of course the truth is that our annual rainfall is below the UK average – and always has been.”

The University of Manchester, in collaboration with the Manchester City Council and the Manchester Statistical Society, have made the reports, which detail 40 years of the city’s history, available online for the public.

The documents consist of survey maps and scheme plans.  They recorded the local authorities’ attempts to deal with industrialisation and rocketing urban growth rates.

Councillor Battle added, “Digitising this rich collection of maps and reports so that people can view them for free online is a great way of bringing the city’s rich history to life.”

Syrian President wins prize for “obtuseness”

Syrian President Bashar al-Assad has won the inaugral Notorious Belligerent (Nob) Prize.

The Prize serves as a “gentle way of mocking the Nobel Peace Prize,” according to Birte Vogal, a PhD candidate at the University of Manchester’s Humanitarian and Conflict Response Institute.

“He deserves the Nob Prize for his spectacular obtuseness and refusal to put anything or anyone before his personalised rule,” said Vogal.

The Nob Prize, awarded by the Peacebuilding Journal, was launched for the first time in 2013, where nominations for various candidates were received via social media.  The winning candidate was decided through the collaborative efforts of peace and conflict scholars.

Ugandan warlord Joseph Kony, leader of the Lord’s Resistance Army, received a “dishonourable” mention.

Vogal added, “President Assad is embroiled in a bloody civil war that is of his own making. As part of a ruling dynasty, he has placed his own power before the lives of his citizens. In July 2013, the United Nations estimated that the war had cost over 100,000 lives, while up to six million people are thought to have been displaced.

“There are also persistent reports of arrests, torture, and disappearances carried out by state forces. The destruction caused by Assad’s regime has been enormous, with many urban areas razed to the ground by the indiscriminate use of weapons.

“President Assad has runs a political system that only he can lead. He has created a situation in which there can be no legitimate political opposition to his rule. As a result, when people began to protest against his autocratic rule, his first instinct was to have a security-led crack-down on opposition. This has escalated into a full-scale civil war that has caused instability and suffering across the region.”

Man jailed for hoax bomb calls that disrupted thousands


James Anthony Black has been sentenced to 2 years and 6 months in prison for making hoax bomb calls in Manchester in February.

Black, of no fixed abode, pleaded guilty to three counts of communicating false information with intent, having instigated three bomb alerts in the city centre.

Manchester Crown Court heard how Irish-born Black, 39, caused anxiety and distress to the public when he used public phone boxes to make the calls, the first of which lead to a large-scale emergency response, with Black telling the operator,

“There is a bomb at Piccadilly station. It will go off in five minutes.”

Resulting disruption was widespread, with Piccadilly Station evacuated, travellers and commuters’ plans disrupted, and all emergency services alerted.

Piccadilly Station is a central part of the Manchester public transport system and with the city’s universities accessible by bus from Piccadilly.

GMP Detective Inspector Brian Morley stressed that hoax bomb threats are a serious offence, “Making bomb threats is not a prank. Robert Black’s actions caused a huge amount of disruption to the community and wasted police time and public money.” Less than six hours after making his first hoax call, Black made another on the evening of Thursday, February 14, from a telephone box in Piccadilly Gardens.

Officers were deployed to Piccadilly amusement arcade after he claimed there was a bomb there.

Black made his final call the following Sunday (17th), to the Arndale Centre, resulting in the evacuation of 13,000 shoppers and staff who were described by Charlotte Crangle, prosecuting, to have “feared for their lives”.

Following review of CCTV footage, Black was arrested on Monday February 18, in Piccadilly Gardens, just yards from where he had made the calls.

Top five fictional diaries

1. Bridget Jones’s Diary by Helen Fielding

Possibly one of the all-time greats, this is the novel that told a generation of single women that it was okay to make an idiot out of yourself and wear huge underwear at the same time. Alongside the humour, the book chronicles the daily stresses of the modern woman: men, men and MEN!

2. I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith

Although she is better known for The Hundred and One Dalmatians, this is possibly Smith’s greatest achievement. In it, aspiring author Cassandra Mortmain documents the lives and loves of her eccentric family as they struggle to make ends meet in a cold, crumbling castle. This is a book that you come back to time and time again, wishing that you were a member of that unconventional yet endearing household.

3. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

This is not quite a diary but rather a collection of letters from a 15 year old boy to an anonymous stranger. In it, we see Chbosky tussle with the awkwardness surrounding teenagers in love. With lashings of high school drama, including truth or dare, ‘the gay one’ and of course the football team, this is a must read for anyone wanting to relive the best – or worst – seven years of their life.

4. Any Human Heart by William Boyd

Slightly different from the other books here, this novel is a lifetime’s worth of diaries. Boyd decided we should have a warts and all view of the main protagonist, Mountstuart, and so we find ourselves reading about prostitution and masturbation alongside many of the 20th century’s most important events.

5. Witch Child by Celia Rees

After her grandmother is hanged for witchcraft, Mary Newbury is hurried out of the country to escape a similar fate. She sails to the New World with a group of Puritans but finds that, even there, being different is rather dangerous and that she must face incomprehensible choices to survive.

Top five procrastination blogs

1. Friends Drew Phillips and Scott Cleveland have set up ‘Wingmanning’, a blog and instagram account that has rapidly gone viral. The concept is pretty bizarre (bordering on creepy) and involves Phillips standing in front of a couple engrossed in each other. The embarrassment you feel for the couple, the general feeling of ‘why am I looking at this’ and the brilliantly blank expression of Phillips make this weirdly entertaining.

 

2. ‘Famous Album Covers Recreated With My Socks’. Quite grim when you think about it but art is art, right?

 

3. In case you aren’t surrounded by enough hipsters in Manchester, ‘Pictures of Hipsters Taking Pictures of Food will bombard you with a whole load more. Possibly the epitome of pointless blogs and yet it sums up the crazy world of social networking we seem to be living in.

 

4. The title is self-explanatory but if you ever want to make yourself feel even more insignificant and horribly uncool, have a gander at ‘Awesome People Hanging Out Together‘.

 

5. Lauren LoPrete has taken misery to the next level combining old Peanuts comics and Smiths lyrics on ‘This Charming Charlie‘. The result? You realise how alike Charlie Brown and Morrissey are and wonder why no one married them sooner.

 

Literary daytrip: Hathersage

A mere hour’s train journey from Manchester lies Hathersage, a charming village in Derbyshire that is steeped in literary history. Charlotte Bronte stayed here in the mid-19th century and used many of its places and people as inspiration for Jane Eyre. More recently, a famous scene in the 2005 film adaptation of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, starring Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfayden, was shot on location nearby at Stanage Edge.

This walk takes you through the village and across countryside and moors to Stanage Edge.

As you leave the train station, turn left and walk down the road (B6001) to the village. Before you stands The George Hotel, which, when Charlotte Bronte arrived in Hathersage in 1845, was a coaching inn. Bronte named the village of Morton, where Jane Eyre works as a schoolteacher, after the inn’s landlord.

Turn right and walk up the main street to the village, then turn left onto Baulk lane, a public footpath. As you approach Cowclose Farm, take the signposted left fork and follow the footpath until you reach Brookfield Manor. Bronte used this large house as inspiration for Vale Hall in Jane Eyre. Vale Hall was owned by Mr Oliver. His daughter, Rosamond Oliver, funds the school where Jane teaches.

Continue along the footpath until you reach the road, where you take a right. Then, turn left onto the public footpath and follow it until you reach North Lees Hall. Built in the early 1590s, it is thought that North Lees Hall served as a model for Thornfield, the home of Jane Eyre’s beloved Mr Rochester. It was owned by the Eyre family, whose name, needless to say, Bronte also used. Legend has it that an early mistress of the hall, Agnes Ashurst, was imprisoned in its attic as a madwoman, just like the fictional character of Bertha Mason in Jane Eyre.

After rounding North Lees Hall, climb the stone steps to your right and follow the path, which crosses hillside pastures before entering some woods. As you leave the woods behind, you will come to a road. Turn left along the road for a short distance, then right onto a grassy path leading to Stanage Edge. In the 2005 film adaptation of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, the famous scene where Elizabeth Bennet stands on a cliff edge was shot on location at Stanage Edge (watch it here: Lizzie on top of the world).

Stanage Edge, featured in the 2005 film adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. Photo: Esmé Clifford Astbury

Head back to Hathersage along the same route. If you’re feeling a bit thirsty, grab a pint at The George Hotel before getting the train back to Manchester.

Warehouse awareness

Since the Warehouse Project has kicked off this season, the club has been rocked by the death of one club-goer and the illnesses of several other revellers, caused by what has been deemed a ‘bad batch’ of ecstasy circulating the event. Drugs unfortunately have, and always will be, a huge part of student and club culture, and so it is vital that the dangers and risks are highlighted, especially at a time when they are so profound.

It is critical to remember that drugs are very rarely sold in their purest form- especially outside or inside club venues- and you simply do not know what you’ve consumed until it is too late. Therefore, authorities urge students to never buy or accept any drugs that are sold nearby or inside the Warehouse Project or similar venues, as the risks are too great. Also, the club will be jam-packed, hot and filled with crowds that are not easy to escape from, which heightens the dangers of drug consumption and makes it difficult for sufferers to find help.

Make sure you are fully aware of your surroundings and those near you. In packed-out places it is so easy for drinks to be spiked and for drugs to be placed on to an unsuspecting person, so it’s important that you keep your wits about you and also look out for your friends, or others that you suspect may be in danger. If so, report this to medical staff immediately- a person’s health should not be put at risk through doubt, so act quickly.

Finally, remember that no one necessarily needs drugs to have a good time- many consume them to stay awake throughout the entire night, but this can be achieved without the aid of stimulants. Getting plenty of rest beforehand and remaining hydrated should leave you feeling alert and in good spirits, without any risks. Drugs may seem like the best option at the time, but what price are you really willing to pay for a ‘good night out’?

PMA: THE FACTS

Class: A

Form: Crystal/powder, pill

Effects: Similar energy buzz and feelings of love to that of MDMA, but causes an intense rise in body temperature, nausea and muscle spasms. Small doses can be fatal.

WHP boss Sacha Lord-Marchionne has been raising the alarm about a recent surge in the sales of PMA, a potentially fatal drug that is being sold in and around the area as MDMA, PMA was responsible for the deaths of 20 people in 2012 and a rising number this year.

Down in the Dutch

Holland’s countryside is surprisingly well-designed for a couple of unprepared bums falling out of the ferry on a Sunday afternoon, armed with little more than bikes and a few euros.

The little towns are admittedly crap – Hoek van Holland, where we were deposited, exists as a gateway to the beach with tourist supplies and slightly shabby seafood restaurants, and is completely shut on a Sunday. The beach towns, long strips of cloned beach bars with thin music playing from their wet terraces, can be described as none other than grim. Maassluis, the next town along the shipping canal, is just concrete and plastic low-rise blocks squatting on the outskirts of Rotterdam, separated by scrubland that’s not profitable enough for concrete and plastic low-rise yet. Everywhere was closed, and our plans to buy any sort of map were scuppered. One lonesome store sold us strong beer and some sad vegetables, providing us with some little comfort for the evening, at least.

Once you’re out of these towns, however, the countryside (as far as the term applies) is abundant – separate cycle paths follow every single road and waterway, keeping you away from traffic, and there are maps and signposts at every junction, making it mercifully difficult to get lost. Since every part of this area was reclaimed from the sea, the land is mercilessly organised. Every waterway and wood is geometric, and the little villages, and the massive gateways to the megafarms (kilometres of greenhouse greying out the map) are immaculate and are patrolled and pruned by carefully-groomed goats, sheep or rabbits. The megafarms generously supplement our sad vegetables with fresh-scrumped corn-on-the-cob.

Finding places to sleep is a challenge in such meticulously organised land. We spent one night in a seemingly abandoned building site on the outskirts of grey Maassluis, nested inside a pile of long concrete pipes and watching the bright lights of tankers sliding along the shipping canal outside. In the morning, woken by the sounds of workers in hi-vis vests and diggers outside our pipes, we ghosted quickly away, crawling through pipes and undergrowth along with the sewer rats.

But the best place to sleep on a cycle tour of the Netherlands is, of course, the beach. Secluded spots in dunes are perfect for your tent. Make a fire by the sea, watch the sunset, relax and even have a smoke. But be sure to make a fire – the kids with Land Rovers roaring along the dark coastline won’t spot you otherwise (it was a narrow escape).