Skip to main content

Day: 4 November 2014

Interview: Jana Jana and Heidi

Most students whish to be as far away from their parents as possible. Now imagine working or performing with them regularly on a regular basis! The mother and daughter duo Jana and Heidi performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this year and they will now delight Mancunian audiences on Saturday the 8th of November at the Lowry. The unique mother and daughter performance promises an honest exploration of the relationship between mothers and daughters, a whirlwind of jokes and even a disco dance-off! I tried to find out more about one half of the quirky team and got the chance to delve into Jana’s world.

How did your time at the University of Manchester influence your comedy style?

I think my time at Manchester made me more confident. I met and hung out with loads of really interesting people, all studying different subjects and that gave me insights into ideas and philosophies—ways of thinking—that I had not really come across before. Apart from fellow students I also hung out with loads of Mancunians, many of whom liked a good laugh and, if me, a Southerner, could make them laugh, I felt that I was doing alright!

Was it hard to get used to working with your mother and is there a lot of conflict while rehearsing?

It would have been impossible to make this show with mum two years ago, it would have been awful! But making it together now felt right, we like each other, which is a big help, and she really respected the fact that I had an idea of how we would go about making this show, She has never done anything like this so had to put her trust in me really! Occasionally I do revert to being a teenager when I am around her, but I try and be patient and let her boss me around sometimes (and buy me lunch!). In rehearsals she can just get bored halfway through so I have to bribe her back with a diet coke.

What are your top tips for people who want to start a career in comedy?

Go for it! There are loads of great comedy nights and open mic nights. These tend to have friendly crowds who are supportive of acts trying out new material. If you are a woman then there is the Women In Comedy Festival in your city! Also don’t feel you have to be a certain type of comedian—I don’t really like doing standup, though I love MCing those nights. I’m still figuring out what I am doing, perhaps making solo theatre comedy shows—that’s a mouthful!

Are you funnier on stage or in real life?

Good question—both? On stage I have got a ‘play’ that I am performing and finding fun within. There is a structure but room for me to play if something is working really well, or the audience pick up on something then I can work with that, improvise around it and have pleasure doing that. I think the spontaneity of real life can throw some brilliant moments your way, a weird in-joke that you can find with a stranger that has you both cracking up while waiting for a bus.

Why should university students see your show?

Come and see the show as it will definitely have moments in it that ring really true for you! We talk about being a student, what happened after I graduated and it shows a relationship that I think many of Manchester’s students, and everyone, will find familiar… the one they have with their mum!

Get a taste of their humour in a short video here and follow their show on Facebook.

Review: Madama Butterfly

It is 1904 in Nagasaki, Japan, and two lovers prepare for their wedding. Their fate, however, seems bleak from the outset. Japanese girl Cio-Cio-San has been fooled by American Lieutenant F. B. Pinkerton into marriage. He considers their union to be temporary and intends to leave Cio-Cio-San when he is able to find a suitable wife in America. On the day of her wedding, Cio-Cio-San is renounced by friends and family due to her rejection of traditional Japanese values.

She is left alone in the world except for her new husband and her maid, Suzuki. In Act Two of the opera, the audience finds Cio-Cio-San having been abandoned by her husband, and caring for their three year old son. She dreams of Pinkerton’s return, and the happy life they will share together.

Unfortunately, the reunion of the couple does not go as Cio-Cio-San had hoped. Pinkerton has since remarried, and brings his new wife with him in order to claim his son, and take him back to America. Pinkerton’s return brings the opera to a close, with tragic consequences for Cio-Cio-San.

Ellen Kent’s touring production of Puccini’s masterpiece brings to life the timeless tale of Madama Butterfly with true feeling. The recurrent challenge of staging a classic opera, or any well-known theatrical piece, lies in the audience’s capacity to become emotionally hardened to a familiar story.

New productions of old classics must find ways in which to remain relevant, in order to have a real impact upon audiences. Whilst Kent’s production remains relatively traditional in style and setting; the design, musical performances and direction succeed in powerfully bringing all the tragedy and emotion of Cio-Cio-San’s story to a modern audience.
First and foremost, commendation must be given to the leading performers.

The performances of Cio-Cio-San, Suzuki and Pinkerton were thoughtful, tremendously emotional and musically stunning. The second greatest achievement of this production was that of the visual designers. The set and costumes were intricate and magnificent to behold. All the beauty of Japan was made real on stage, which added to the overall exquisite tragedy of the performance.

Underpinning the quality of the performance on the whole, however, was the orchestra of the National Opera & Ballet Theatre of Moldova, conducted by Nicolae Dohotaru. The performance of the instrumentalists was sensitive and full of feeling, bolstering the vocal performances whilst wielding their own independent command over the audience’s emotions.

The only minor failing of the production was the quality of acting displayed by the vocal chorus. Whilst the extremely skilled vocalists provided an excellent performance musically, they appeared to be uninterested and unengaged in the action being presented on stage. Alongside being rather unconvincing as supporting characters within the narrative, a few small choreography and cue mistakes were noticeable to discerning audience members.

Definitely a must-see, Ellen Kent’s production succeeds in bringing one of Puccini’s most popular works to audiences with resounding skill, emotion and vibrancy.

Live: Ed Sheeran

28th October

Phones 4U Arena

7.5/10

Saint Raymond’s stage presence feels assured and confident, sounding a little like Ben Howard with a few more guitars; it’s no surprise he sits well with Ed Sheeran fans. His music is indie-pop, dancy and synthesised; the Top 40 can only be a matter of months away.

Warmed up and ready for the main event, Ed Sheeran leisurely strolls on stage to a sold out arena. He wastes no time in proving his worth; there’s no band, no eccentric stage design, no startling lights, no bullshit. Armed with his guitar and a loop pedal, the gig just seems like another day in the office for him.

Unfazed by the twenty thousand fans, he launches straight into ‘I’m A Mess,’ the crowd lapping it up in enjoyment. Going through some older material from his first album, including ‘Lego House’ ‘A-Team’ and ‘Drunk’ his setlist ticks off every song you’d expect to see live.

He exercises his superb vocal capability in a diverse range of songs; most notably Ed draws on his rap influences on ‘Take It Back’ and an extended version of ‘You Need Me, I Don’t Need You’ spitting lyrics and beat-boxing his way to the hearts of his admirers. Admirers from Wayne Rooney to Wretch 32 to 12-year old screaming fan-girls; it’s inspiring to see how his music spans across such a varied demographic.

Ed exposes some vulnerability in his slower material; ‘Tenerife Sea,’ and ‘Thinking Out Loud’ highlight his tender, textured vocals, his guitar is near-enough mesmerising.

In stark contrast, ‘Bloodstream’ is representative of his set: guitar melodies, stomping percussion, and exquisite vocals are layered and looped upon each other; the gradual energy building to intense and frantic climax.

He is even better live than on record, creating songs quite literally from scratch; he is an unbelievable talent. It’s difficult not to like such an amicable and seemingly humble character when his music is so powerful, he has every right to be as brash and as snobbish as he can but Ed Sheeran is a magnificently modest little ginger man.

Review: Guerrilla Eats

The label ‘hipster’ is thrown around a lot these days, especially in Manchester. The subculture is said to typically involve the likes of plaid shirts, skinny jeans and ‘geek’ glasses.

I confess guilty, guilty and guilty (they are prescription, so it’s completely fine and not pretentious at all).

It must be something about the cobbled streets, the low-hung lighting and the functional/minimal decor of the Northern Quarter that makes people in Manchester want to grow a beard and start wearing vintage knitwear.

As with clothing fashions, food also moves with the times, keeping up with trends to satisfy the clientele’s current palette. ‘Hipster’ style is reflected in the food we are now offered: it is alternative and creatively presented. In my opinion, a great thing.

Halloumi is the plaid shirt of hipster food, brioche buns the oversized jumper. Sweet potato fries, pulled pork and craft beer are the alternative music of the culinary world. Nonsensical parallels aside, my point is not to criticise, but to congratulate the continuity with which Manchester churns out these exciting food innovations.

What better example to illustrate my point than an upcycled warehouse full of independent food vendors: Guerrilla Eats.

Every Saturday from 5pm – 12am, a varying selection of talented street food micro businesses gather to host an evening filled with cutting-edge dishes made fresh before your eyes. This is not an elaborate way of describing a greasy fast food takeaway convention; it is a collection of passionate and genuine foodies creating quality eats.

Photo: The Mancunion

As I attended as part of a social with The Mancunion, I only bought two dishes of my own and had a sneaky taste of everyone else’s (their reviews are to follow on the site). The first was from trader Mumma Schnitzel, which offered mini brioche burgers for £4 or 2 for £6. Naturally I went for the bargain combo of two, choosing the signature twice fried panko-crumbed chicken with sweet chilli sauce, and a less fiery chicken schnitzel with avocado and something else that I cannot remember. Evidently, the former was the winner as the tangy taste stayed in my mouth and my memory. Crispy fried chicken on soft bread is not a bite one forgets. Not to say that the avo-chicken was not good; my companion preferred this due to the lack of spice, thus proving that varying tastes were well catered for. Further proof of the mini-burger’s success is my lack of photograph.

My second choice was the delightfully monstrous toastie from Big Grillie Style. ‘The Fresh Prince’ was stuffed with pulled pork, mac and cheese (yes, pasta on bread) and extra grilled cheese. It is exactly this kind of diet-ridiculing fusion that gives the event its warfare-inspired name. These guys sabotage the fundamental rules of food combinations, and I mean that in a completely positive way. This IS a treat; it is not a waste of calories like eating a big mac and immediately wanting another one. It’s filling, packed with quality ingredients and deliciously satisfying.

The Fresh Prince. Photo: The Mancunion

Complemented by one of the bar’s German swing-topped bottled lagers, this not-just-a-sandwich really hit the spot.

A potential souvenir. Photo: The Mancunion

As well as serving great food, the atmosphere of the warehouse is something in itself. The long wooden tables, live DJ and fully stocked bar mean that this is a great place to spend an evening with friends. We made full use of the £4 cocktails mixed with scrumpy, rum and juice while others celebrated our outing with copious bottles of Prosecco on offer for the reasonable price of £16.

As there were traders there whose food I did not sample and as there is more to come each week, this is definitely an event I shall be returning to. Hipster food: keep it coming.

Guerrilla Eats
Free Entry, Every Sat 5pm – 12am
Blossom St,
Manchester,
M4 5AF

http://guerrillaeats.com/

Recipe: Mexican Fajitas

I have recently set up a supper club as a nice excuse to meet up with friends I no longer live with and to test out any new recipes. I wanted to start with something easy that didn’t require too much time in the kitchen. I chose a Mexican classic, fajitas. This is such a good meal for getting to know people, there is something about sharing out food and passing it around the table is just perfect for breaking the ice. I thought this meal could translate well for those of you who are new students or have moved into new houses with new people and are getting used to cooking for the first time. Fajitas are really easy to and they’re a great way to bring your whole house together, so next time you decide to have a house meal, here is an easy meal you can try out.

Chicken Fajitas (serves 6)

Ingredients
• One large onion
• 5 chicken thighs
• One and a half peppers
• One chilli
• One dessert spoon of cumin
• Half a dessert spoon of coriander
• Half a dessert spoon of paprika
• Half a tin of tomatoes
• A bunch of fresh coriander
• Two limes
• Two avocados
• A handful of cherry tomatoes
• Quarter of a red onion
• A tub of sour cream
• Half a block of cheese
• One lettuce
• 2 packets of tortilla wraps
• A bowl of cooked rice (optional)

Method
• Although the list of ingredients looks a bit intimidating there are only really two aspects of this dish that require any preparation. Start with the chicken. Slice the onion and fry in oil. Slice the chicken thighs as thin as possible and add to the pan. Now add the chopped chilli, the spices and a handful of diced coriander stalks. Fry for a minute but make sure the spices don’t burn. Add the tomatoes. Slice up the peppers and add to the pan along with half a cup of water, leave to simmer with the lid on.

• Now tackle the guacamole. Mash the avocados in a bowl, squeeze in the juice of one lime. Chop the tomatoes and add to the avocados. Dice the red onion as finely as possible and add to the bowl along with a handful of chopped coriander leaves. Season with salt and pepper and you’re done.

• Return to the chicken—a lot of the liquid should have evaporated by now. Stir through loads of coriander leaves and squeeze over half a lime. Serve alongside the guacamole, sour cream, grated cheese, thinly chopped lettuce, the rice (if you’re using it) and tortilla wraps, warmed in the oven.

Time to cook: 30 minutes.
Cost: £2.40.
Washing up: Off the charts but you can get your friends to give you a hand!

Review: Kosmonaut

I’ve been to Kosmonaut on various occasions. Primarily, I know it as a great late night weekend hangout—always packed with drinkers. But one Saturday night, I glanced at the food menu and felt surprisingly enticed. I always had the place down exclusively as a popular watering hole and so, intrigued to say the least, I waited only three days before pouncing on the opportunity to have dinner there.

My initial prejudice was quashed when we were shown to our table. What I thought was Kosmonaut in its entirety was actually only the first room; turning right past the bar an expansive seating area stretches out ahead, and en route to the bathroom downstairs I spotted another room—this one with a ping pong table. In the dining area, the atmosphere is subdued yet lively, making it pleasantly viable for either dinner or drinks.

Sipping on a sweet vermouth, we perused the menu. A few well-chosen starters pre-empt innovatively-filled sandwiches for the lighter diner, fashionably-topped pizzas for the unadventurous, and salads and mains both classic and classy. In traditional research-mode, we decided upon three mains: a gin-cured salmon sandwich, black pepper ribs and buttermilk fried chicken. The service was almost instantaneous, coming before the waiter could bring us a bottle of biodynamic red wine (no chemicals, no compromise on taste).

We treated the cold dish as the starter; thickly sliced salmon delicately laced with fruity gin lay on top of toasted bread, scattered with homemade pickled cucumber and salty capers. I could have eaten it for breakfast, lunch or dinner in equal measure. Actually, scratch that: I would eat it for all three, in one day.

The ribs came with a pot of chips and fennel coleslaw—an enticing alternative to cabbage. Thick and juicy and generously coated in a sweet, peppery sauce, the flavour levels of the meat were interestingly complex. The chips were like chips should be: crisp and golden outside, soft and fluffy inside. The fennel coleslaw was a nice touch, but in comparison to its accomplished counterparts, underperformed a little.

Encased in crunchy buttermilk batter, the succulent, boneless chicken was a real winner. I am reliably informed that fried chicken is the new pulled pork: expect to see it winging its way onto a restaurant menu near you, covered in syrup or jam or some other counter-intuitive sickly accompaniment. Refreshingly conservatively, however, ours came with Texas BBQ sauce and chipotle mayo, which spiced up the meat and optimised its mellow flavour. The sweet potato chips that came along for the ride were more seasoned than usual and carried delicious new dimensions of taste. Alas, regular recipe coleslaw saw the same fate as its fennel friend.

It seems that no element of the establishment is accidental. In a conversation with the manager, I mentioned the long list of craft beers that they reputedly sell, and he replied with an assured confidence that “I like to think that everything we do is craft.” The staff are proud of the place, and rightly so. Dining at Kosmonaut rendered me surprised, impressed and a little philosophical. There is more to it than meets the eye, even if the first glance was plentiful.

Kosmonaut,
10 Tariff St,
Manchester
M1 2FF

Visit http://kosmonaut.co/ for more information.

Pub of the Week: The Railway, Didsbury

In comparison to most of the trendy bars in West Didsbury, Joseph Holt pub The Railway is an unpretentious and laid back watering hole. Nothing stands out as being fantastic about this pub, but there is not much you can complain about either. It’s a good place to bring a couple of mates for a quiet pint—especially considering the log fire for those not wanting to fork out on bills during the winter months. The jukebox in the centre adds to the homely atmosphere but you will do well to break into the huddle of regulars playing the Smiths. Johnny Depp has also been rumoured to visit the Railway on occasion and is said to be a friend of the owners, so a casual pint could end in a celebrity encounter.

Drink: Must try Joseph Holt brewery lagers, Crystal and Diamond. Excellent range of ales, the cheapest being Joseph Holt bitter at £2.69, plus rotating guest ales (currently Chorlton IPA). If you’re looking to get merry they have Old Rosie Scrumpy on tap.

What’s on: Quiz night is Tuesday at 9, Trapdoor comedy is on every second Monday of the month—including acts from Mock The Week and QI.

Get There: 143 to West Didsbury and walk the length of Lapwing Lane. Alternatively it’s a short cycle down Burton Road.

https://twitter.com/RailwayDidsbury

Feature: Anna’s Best Foodie Instagram Accounts

Describing myself as a foodie would be a dramatic understatement; I live breathe and, most importantly, eat (obviously) food. In fact, I have an entire Instagram account dedicated to it, posting photos of whatever delicious delight I’ve been gorging on and following many others who do the same.

Foodie or not, if you want to see something other than selfies on your homepage I’ve compiled a shortlist of some of my favourite gastronomic guys and gals on instagram. Be warned, these WILL make you hungry…

@theboywhobakes (Edd Kimber)
Avid Great British Bake Off watchers will recognise @theboywhobakes’ Edd Kimber as the show’s first ever winner when it started back in 2010. Since then he has continued to bake and, fortunately for us, posts snaps of all the sweet treats created for his new book ‘Patisserie Made Simple’ (published October 16th). His pictures show sheer pastry perfection. Who would have thought that candied orange peel dipped in chocolate and lined up in little rows could look so darn satisfying? And have you seeen the layers in his millefeuille? My goodness, Paul Hollywood would be proud… Well, evidently he was, in 2010.

Photo:
@boywhobakes

 

@thrillist (Thrillist)
Thrillist is a digital media company based in New York with branches in food & drink as well as travel. Their Instagram for all things edible is a smorgasbord of gluttonous treats. Most are the super-sized, deep-fried American kind of treats which look utterly fabulous but in a heart-attack kind of way. A picture from last week showed crispy fried chicken smothered in sausage gravy and then stuffed into a waffle ice-cream cone(!!) In fact, #waffle features highly on their feed, along with other typically American delicacies from sickly Mississippi mud pies to out-of-this-world sized pastrami sandwiches.

Photo: @thrillist

 

@top_london_restaurants (London’s Top Restaurants)

@top_london_restaurants does exactly what it says on the tin, posting daily photos of delicious-looking dishes from a range of London’s best restaurants. Each perfect photo makes you wish you lived in London and had enough money to sample all of them. A girl can dream.

Photo: @top_london_restaurants

 

@thefeedfeed (feedfeed, Julie Resnick)
The feedfeed is like a ‘best of’ list in itself, sharing great food photography and recipes from a range of different instagram and food blog users across the web. All sorts of stunning creations are shared everyday with links in the description to the original creators. The latest I’ve been drooling over was a salted caramel chocolate cake topped with a mountain of salted caramel popcorn…woah.

Photo Credit: @thefeedfeed

 

@spoonforkbacon (spoonforkbacon)
Only recently have I discovered that ‘food stylist’ is a career. Can you imagine a job so great!? LA-based Jenny Park is lucky enough to do just that and, teamed with photographer Teri Lyn Fisher, the duo created the, extremely well-named, spoonforkbacon; a website full of tasty recipes ranging from everyday dishes to party food. Their instagram account is an incredible display of their talents with each delicious dish captured beautifully.

Photo Credit: @spoonfork

 

So follow, browse and be inspired!!
P.S. If you want to see my (not even comparable) instagram, please find me at: @annalawsoneats

Recipe: Roasted Vegetable and Halloumi Bake

Sunday’s hangover persists, you spent all your money on Saturday night and now you’ve dragged yourself to lectures, probably in the rain… Mondays can be less than pleasant. How about this meat-free Monday recipe to make it all better? Not only is it inexpensive to make (especially if the ingredients are bought from Lidl or Worldwide), it is also ridiculously simple. Chop the ingredients, whack them in a dish, then pop it in the oven.

Roasted Vegetable and Halloumi bake

Serves 2 (or 1 with enough for leftover lunch)

Ingredients:

– 1 sweet potato

– 1 normal potato

– 1 red onion

– 1/2 large red pepper

– 1/2 yellow pepper (not overly necessary though, I just used red)

– A couple of cloves of garlic

– A good glug of olive oil

– Half a pack of halloumi cheese

– 1/2 small lemon

– A generous sprinkling of ground cumin

Method

  1. Preheat the oven to 200°C/gas 6.
  2. Cut up all the veg into large bite-sized chunks but make the normal potato chunks slightly smaller than the sweet as they take longer to cook.
  3. Put everything into a roasting tin with a couple of garlic cloves, unpeeled and bruised with a knife.
  4. Coat with a good glug of olive oil and a generous sprinkling of black pepper. (Don’t put salt on at this point because it will draw all the moisture out of the veg)
  5. Cook for around 30 minutes, or until the vegetables are cooked through and have begun to tinge with brown.
  6. At this point, salt the vegetables and give them a shake around.
  7. Then, turn the oven up to maximum temperature and lay thin slices of halloumi cheese over the roasted veg.
  8. Bake for another 10 mins or so, until the cheese has turned brown on the top.
  9. Finally, squeeze over a bit of lemon and dust with a sprinkling of ground cumin and eat hot out of the oven.

NB—The leftovers are great added to couscous or stuffed into a wrap for a healthy lunchbox filler… yum.

Pub of the week: Jackson’s Boat

This is a pub for the day-trippers. Situated on the banks of the River Mersey, Jackson’s Boat dates back to the 1730s and is one of Manchester’s oldest pubs. The name comes from an old farmer called Jackson who once ferried people across the river. Eventually the ferry was replaced by a bridge and the inn on the bank became the pub. The building is a weird combination of old and new, with a red brick façade and a puzzling paddle steamer-shaped rear. The interior was a little dated, with dark corners and staring animal heads, but the pubs main draw is its expansive and leafy beer garden which would trump anything M14 can offer on a summer’s day. This pub is great for thirsty cyclists to use as an end or midpoint to a trip as it is not far from the end of the Fallowfield loop, and were the wheels to fall off your £30 gumtree bike there is a bicycle repair shop next door.

Drinks: Timothy Taylor, Aspall and EPA on tap and a standard selection of lagers.
What’s on: Hosts multiple dog shows throughout the year for all you canine lovers.
Get There: Follow the Fallowfield loop to Chorlton, go through Chorlton Park and then follow cycle route signs to Sale waterpark. Takes around 20 minutes.

http://www.jacksonsboat.co.uk/

Pub of the Week: The Dog and Patridge

The Dog and Partridge is our idea of everything that a perfect pub should be. So similar is it to a countryside tavern that you might believe East Didsbury was actually a village (if it wasn’t for the magic buses whizzing past the window!). A far cry from Koh Tao, its dark wooden panelling and cosy atmosphere make it an ideal place to settle in for six or seven pints on a Sunday. The place is known for its pies and deli boards, whilst for the skint they keep a big barrel of free nuts in the corner. The clincher for us is a colossal pile of board games next to the quiz machine, perfect for those who like to Scrabble whilst they drink their pint.

Drinks: Amstel and Timothy Taylor Landlord on tap, plus a constantly changing selection of guest ales, currently (Silver Owl Pale Ale and Tribute). Cheapest pint: Adnams Southwold bitter at £2.55.
What’s on: Quiz night on a Monday with £100 cash prize, regular live sports, with live music on selected nights.
Getting there: 142 towards East Didsbury or 10-minute cycle down Wilmslow Road.

https://www.facebook.com/thedogandpartridgedidsbury

Review: Fuzion

There are some certainties in one’s life, things you go to on a regular basis that make you happy. It might be a big old cable knit jumper, or a TV series seductive in its intrigue and intricacy, but I cannot eat my Ralph Lauren or The Wire box set. So, to maintain standards, change out of the pull over, pause the Baltimore wire-tapping action, and why not go and try one of the finest pan-Asian eateries around? My culinary happy place, my gastronomic go-to, is Fallowfield’s Fuzion.

Rows of benches, neatly folded napkins, and regimentally parallel chopsticks reside in a warmly lit space situated in front of an open kitchen. The space works; it is clean and neat, reflecting the ethos of the food. So, now seated, let me play Sherpa through these pan-Asian street food delights.

Being in studentville, the old chestnut of “just some tap water please,” is a well-worn adage. Their satisfying green tea, however, served in quaint ceramic beakers, is offered with free refills. Also recently on the drinks menu has appeared a Hitachino Nest range of beers, which are quite something and are still only breaking through in some of the more specialised stockists in the UK market. Along with drinks, we like to punt for some Thai spicy prawn crackers with sweet chilli, or maybe wasabi peas, powerful with their horseradish kick, bringing the taste buds alive; a mere taster of what’s to come.

Nibbles with drinks are a good call because the menu will require some scrutiny. It is not short, and I doff my sedge hat to the waiting staff who have it down cold. The miso soup is a good way to kick things off. It arrives swiftly and its intense umami heft with fresh spring onions and tofu create a concoction guaranteed to beat any one or a combination of the following: the rain, the cold, a cold, a hangover. The big Chinese soup spoons allow for great reservoirs of miso to be scoffed, whilst the chopsticks slow the pace of eating, which fortunately extends the duration of eating—but you can of course risk being judged and ask for western cutlery.

I try to choose things I haven’t previously had, but I do have a couple of favourites—the fall backs—the cable knits of dishes. Firstly, the Thai green chicken curry with boiled rice is a bowl resplendent with fresh vegetables, chunky succulent pieces of chicken and a rich, creamy, flavoursome sauce. Too often in pan-Asian high-street joints the sauce and meat are mere garnishes to a Himalayan rice mound, but here everything is correctly proportioned for our greedy western appetites. On this particular occasion my dinner companion opted for the Mee Goreng, a dry aromatic and spicy Indonesian dish with chicken, char sui, and shrimp, served with the skinny rice noodle vermicelli (Nasi Goreng is served with rice). This is a really well-crafted dish that offers a balance of flavours and textures. Having originated from the Chinese Chow Mein, the Goreng is a triumph of pan-Asian food culture.

Now, if all this deliciousness wasn’t enough, there is the whole issue of sides. This is a serious issue, because they are seriously good. The left hand column of the menu, top to bottom, lists all the savoury goodness one can imagine. We chose two for the table. The prawn toast, which is deep and sesame seeded, gives a crunch before the rich soft prawn-ful filling hits the palate and comes with a sweet and spicy chilli sauce for dipping. The salt and pepper squid is simply a super-charged calamari. Not rings, but great hunks of squid are encrusted in a wonderfully crisp and seasoned batter; there is always the inevitable squabble over who gets the last bit—no room for gentlemanly courtesy here—and with a swift jab of my chopstick the last morsel is mine.

So let us recap. Crackers, soup, a big rice dish, two halves of two side dishes and three flasks of tea is a whole lot of food for a big eater like me. We are in ‘truly stuffed’ territory and after splitting a bill of under forty quid, which includes a tip, we can now and will continue to waddle home thoroughly satisfied and content with Fuzion.

Furthermore, if the refuge of home on a dreary Sunday evening is just too cosy to leave for too long, phone ahead and order takeout, so you can keep on your house clothes, push on to the second series, and eat with a fork.