Perisha Kudhail goes the extra mile to find out if long distance relationships are really worth the effort
With university being a perfect environment to meet all sorts of people, it’s not a rarity for us to start a relationship with someone who lives somewhere hundreds of miles from us. But are these relationships worth pursuing?
With our lives in modern day society becoming more and more hectic, can we really afford the time and money required to keep up seeing our partners? Or have advances in technology made it so easy to pursue a relationship virtually that the distance gap between partners no longer exists? Bruce and Louise offer two very different experiences of long distance relationships.
YES — Louise
“We met in a bar in Paris in August 2013 and really hit it off. We both knew there was a spark there but because of the obvious distance problem we were unsure whether or not to pursue it. We said goodbye after four days together and kept in touch. Within a few weeks we began officially dating, against most of the advice of friends and family. He made his first trip to England a month later, and that is how we have remained: flying backwards and forwards every few months to see each other for nearly a year and a half.
“Our relationship has remained strong because we don’t dwell on the distance. We accept that it is what it is: not ideal but something that we have to accept for now. We make an effort to talk face to face (even if it’s just on FaceTime) at least once a day, as well as to send each other letters and gifts to let the other person know we are thinking of each other. We have date nights once a week like other couples. We have made plans for him to move to England permanently as soon as next year, and have never been stronger as a couple.”
NO — Bruce
“We became interested in each other in 2012 after a debating competition in Sri Lanka. About a year after that we began to date and she became my source of release: I told her everything. We went to school together in India, I was two years her senior. Although we didn’t see each other every day we spoke all the time.
“I then got accepted to a university in the UK and we remained together for six months. At the beginning we spoke to each other every day. But as the relationship progressed, we became distanced. We had our own lives and lived in different worlds. We were more than 5000 miles away from each other: how were we supposed to function as a couple with that distance between us? One of us was bound to fall out of love with the other and that’s what happened with us. I wouldn’t say it ended badly, but I wouldn’t recommend a long distance relationship to anyone.”