Put away the tinsel, stop singing carols and save some turkeys: Molly Allen on why not to get in the festive spirit
I should start this by saying that I love Christmas. However, Christmas, like most things in life, has its upsides and downsides. So in the true Scrooge spirit, here are some of the worst things about Christmas:
5) The inevitable row between family members. At Christmas everyone gets drunk, they haven’t seen each other in a while and unfortunately some people get quite mean so they say all the stuff they’ve been wanting to say. Luckily for me, this doesn’t really happen (we’re all happy drunks) but it can put a really dampener on what should be a lovely time for everyone.
4) All the weird food you have to eat that you never eat at any other time. Aside from Christmas, when else does anyone eat Brussel sprouts? Not to mention, Christmas pudding (what’s up with that, it’s so weird).
3) The family stressing over food. This could just be mine, but last year my mum screamed at me and my brothers until we quietly pointed out at no point had she asked us to help and we wouldn’t know where to begin anyway. Luckily, she’s good humoured and was thus referred to as Ebenezer until New Year. Sorry Mum.
2) That it’s an excuse to gain loads of weight. The gym is still there and no one’s forcing you to eat the size of a small child in mince pies.
1) The insistence on Christmas jumpers. Can we just leave it at cute Fair Isle prints? No, apparently not. We have to go all out: make ourselves look like complete twats in hideous garish colours and even worse prints.
Despite all this I still think the good aspects of Christmas outweigh the bad. Just promise me you’ll try to find a tasteful jumper this year? Or is that asking for too much?