The Mancunion

Britain's biggest student newspaper

The student trump card

Perisha Kudhail explores the many aspects that characterise student life which are unacceptable in the real world

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Being a student is like a free pass in order to get away with all sorts of troubles that would not fly in the real world. Here are a few things you will only get away with as a student:

Having insufficient funds. Being poor is basically a rite of passage as a student. The irony is that going to university means you’re more likely to earn more money when you’re older, but during those few years of studying you’ll get very good at living on a fiver for a month or making a week’s worth of dinner from the reduced section. When you’re older and actually earning money, it’s less acceptable to spend all your money on booze, and there are things like taxes (excuse me, what?) to worry about, which makes being poor much less funny and much more scary.

Drinking, always. We are famous for our drinking. Flexible hours of lectures and minimal life responsibility inevitably lead to going out all the time and getting too drunk too often. Going out five nights a week and continually drinking to get drunk is totally acceptable as a student, yet the same behaviour later in life simply brands you an alcoholic.

Sleeping all day. Alarm clocks while at university are less of an essential, more of a bedside table accessory. It doesn’t really matter if you sleep until 2pm most days let’s be honest (unless you’re in final year in which case you can kiss those days goodbye), but once you leave uni and you have a job, you end up not being able to lie in past 9am even if you try.

Procrastination. Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. Pinterest. Tumblr. NETFLIX. These are dangerous words when you’re trying to do work, but watching all six seasons of Gossip Girl then leaving your essay until the night before is something you can laugh about now. Sadly this will not always be as normal or acceptable, just a little bit stupid.

Bizarre eating habits. Eating in the middle of the night or after a night out is a daily occurrence as a student, however once your metabolism slows down and it’s not as easy to burn those calories, you’ll have to regulate your diet like you’ll have had to regulate your life.

So why are these things acceptable at university? Don’t ask, just enjoy it while you can. Being a student is like a platform to partake in the sins of the real world, so for now embrace life the student way.