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Year: 2015

Ascending the ladder: Footballers going up and down the leagues

Written by Toby Webb on . Posted in Sport.

Jamie Vardy’s current vein of form is nothing short of exceptional. Vardy has scored in his last 10 games, equalling the Premier League record for consecutive scoring set by Ruud Van Nistelrooy and subsequently resulting in an England call-up. While the ability to score goals is a priceless attribute, the ability to score goals consistently is even more valuable.

Vardy’s rise to success is even more remarkable given his history. He spent the beginning of his career playing for various non-league clubs, playing outside of the Football League until he was 25. In the 2011/2012 season, he scored 31 goals in 36 appearances for Fleetwood Town, securing the Conference Premier title and progression into the Football League. Vardy was snapped up by Leicester City following this, where he remains today. In Vardy’s second season with Leicester, they were promoted to the Premier League.

Vardy is a perfect example of a player assailing the English football pyramid: he has reached the peak and had success there. His story is quite the fairy-tale. However, it does open up a debate around player mobility in England. With the amount of foreign players brought into English football, one might think that the ability to move up through the leagues is unattainable, top clubs choosing to buy more proven players from abroad than take risks on players from the lower English leagues.

While buying from abroad over buying from below is generally the favoured option, it is not always the case. Numerous examples can be reeled off of current Premier League players who have journeyed through the leagues to the top. Manchester City’s Joe Hart began his playing career at Shrewsbury Town, making 54 appearances before being bought by Blues. Similarly, Manchester United’s Chris Smalling played at Maidstone United, before joining Fulham, and subsequently United, in the Premier League. Further examples of players who have risen to the top include Ashley Williams, Craig Dawson, Neil Taylor, Yannick Bolasie, Lee Tomlin, Michail Antonio, Dwight Gayle, and Callum Wilson.

Out of all those, Joe Hart is the only one that will go down as a Premier League great. Premier League stars of the past to have played non-league include the likes of Ian Wright, Les Ferdinand, Stuart Pearce and Stan Collymore—notably, 3 of these are strikers. With the exception of Pearce, this shows again that the ability to score goals is priceless, something that has helped Vardy get to the Premier League. As well as ascending, players can also descend down through the leagues. While the majority of players move down when in the latter end of their careers, some simply find that they aren’t good enough for the Premier League. Moving down the leagues is more common than moving up. Alan Smith, once of Manchester United, now at the ripe age of 35 plays in League Two for Notts County. A lot of ex-Premier League players can be found in the lower leagues, seeing out their careers.

The tendency to import talent in the modern day Premier League has been hugely detrimental to player mobility. Every team now exercises the ability to buy players from abroad to bolster their ranks, limiting the opportunities for players to move up the leagues. This is even more of a problem given that the majority of lower league players are English. With less opportunity to advance up the English football pyramid, the quantity of English players in the top division has diminished. Indeed, in the opening weekend of the current Premier League season, less than a third of starting line-ups were made up of English players. Less English players in the Premier League means a smaller pool to pick the national side from. One could contend that greater mobility in English leagues, more English players reaching the top of the pyramid, would lead to a better national team. Playing in England’s top division breeds international quality.

If there was more player mobility amongst the English leagues, Jamie Vardy’s journey wouldn’t be so astonishing. There is a huge disparity of quality between the English leagues, with the influx of money, and therefore quality, since the inception of the Premier League. There is a massive difference between the Premier League and the Championship, while a much smaller difference between the Championship and League 1. Player mobility is far more prominent within the 3 leagues below the Premier League. The decline in player mobility up to the Premier League is ultimately a consequence of the affluence of top level clubs.

Sport in the City: Santa Dash with Man City and Man United

Written by Adam Selby on . Posted in Sport.

Well… what is it?

If all the mentioning of Christmas puddings and mince pies has yet to whet your appetite enough to go and want to undertake an admittedly difficult 5-mile-long run on a Sunday morning, then this week’s festive offering may do just the trick in inspiring you to dust down your running trainers. They say that football has little spirit and connection with the fans in a modern-day focused solely on profits and success on and off the pitch, yet it is community events like a Santa Run that maintain solid links between your everyday fan and the city’s two heavyweights in world football. Both Manchester City and Manchester United therefore cordially invite you to join in their annual Christmas Santa Run for 2015. As we’re here to showcase the best of what Manchester has to offer, it is only fair to ensure some neutrality by offering both and we will leave up to you which race you sign up to, or more importantly, which colour Santa outfit you would prefer to wear.

Yes, that’s right, and in keeping with the colours of both Christmas and their iconic home shirt, Manchester United have opted for a traditional red Santa outfit, whilst their “noisy neighbours” Manchester City are bang on trend this AW2015 with a stylish yet simplistic sky blue Santa outfit to complete the race in. Again, the choice is completely yours, but it is worth noting that regardless of the colour of the outfit, of the stadium around which the race unfolds, and of the team hosting the event, all proceeds from both events go to charities that help to support the clubs’ respective foundations, which for us, is surely the most important thing this Christmas! In terms of distance, both runs offer a 5KM route, but please, please note there is no expectancy in either race to run the whole distance, and walking is encouraged. The race element is not what is important; instead, raising money for the respective foundations at both teams is paramount.

There is, however, the option for anybody who regularly runs to take part in a Santa Dash at Manchester City, but unfortunately no Santa outfit is provided for this elite race. Whilst at Manchester United, there is a shorter route of 2KM available to choose for those who don’t particularly want to run a full 5KM!

How do I get there?

For those unfamiliar with two of Manchester’s most iconic landmarks, or simply for anybody who has yet to tick it off their list of places to go and visit whilst they study here in the city, let us be your tour guides in directing you to both stadiums.

Etihad Stadium (Manchester City): I would recommend the Metrolink tram system, since the club are lucky to have a dedicated tram stop—Etihad Campus. The stop is located adjacent to the Stadium, beside City Square. The journey time from Piccadilly is less than ten minutes. On event days, trams run to/from the stadium stop every six minutes. A number of public bus services run from all directions and, from experience, the 216 service as well as several others leaving from Manchester’s Piccadilly Gardens offers a reliable connection between the city centre and the Etihad Stadium.

Old Trafford (Manchester United): Again, like for the Etihad Stadium above, I would recommend the Metrolink tram system. From the city centre, you can catch an Altrincham tram, alighting at Old Trafford, or alternatively choose an East Didsbury tram, alighting at Trafford Bar. However, if you would prefer to travel by bus, there are again a number of services that run directly to Old Trafford football stadium including the 79, 250, 255, 256, 263, X50. The X50 and 250 both run every 15 minutes from Manchester Piccadilly Gardens and would be my two preferred services.

But how much does it cost to get in?

The Manchester City Santa Stroll costs £10 to enter the race and your blue Santa outfit is included. Meanwhile, for those wishing to compete in the MCFC Santa Dash, entrance fee remains the same, except instead of a Santa outfit you will receive a white t-shirt, which indicates your participation in the dash.

The Manchester United Santa Run costs £15 and like MCFC, includes your Santa outfit in the bundle. Both races are further incentivised by a goodie bag following the completion of the race and a range of festive activities during the event, ranging from spot competitions and early Christmas presents on the day, to guest appearances from club legends past and present!

What are the facilities like?

Given the nature of the event, in that it is largely a fun-run, the route is not published online before very close to the event itself, so do please keep a look out on both Manchester City’s and United’s official websites. However, in terms of the scenery and the landmarks you will be running around in your Christmas attire, they are certainly worth admiring, and this might perhaps be your perfect (and undeniably your most unique) photo opportunity. From personal experience, having run the Manchester City Santa Stroll on two occasions previously, the route involves running both through the concourse inside the Etihad Stadium, before travelling outside to gain an exclusive look at the Citizens’s brand-new football academy complex (most notably where President Xi Jinping and Prime Minister David Cameron visited several weeks ago).

Meanwhile, the Manchester United website has confirmed that this year there is the opportunity to venture down the tunnel at Old Trafford towards the finish line after taking in the sights of the local Imperial War Museum, The Lowry Centre and Media City UK. So make sure to not forget your camera!

Tell me something I didn’t already know…

The 2014 Manchester City Santa Stroll and Dash events saw 1,200 sky blue Santas take to the Etihad Campus to raise money for the local community. The family-friendly run was founded by lifelong Manchester City supporter Jason Manford and former club captain and now Sporting Director of New York City Football Club, Claudio Reyna. Meanwhile at Old Trafford, there were 1,200 Santas involved in the Christmas event, with club legend Bryan Robson starting the race alongside Coronation Street star Anthony Cotton.

Finally, when can I see this in action?

Manchester City Santa Stroll and Dash take place on: Sunday 6th December 2015

Manchester United Santa Run takes place on: Sunday 13th December 2015

For more information on collecting your Santa outfits, the starting times of both events and anything else, please visit http://www.mcfc.co.uk for information on Manchester City’s event and conversely, http://www.manutd.com for details of Manchester United’s event.

If you have any requests for local teams, sports or events taking place in Manchester, or if you wish to be involved, please contact: [email protected].

Review: Model Behaviour

Written by Ashley McGovern on . Posted in Arts.

Before going to the Holden Gallery’s latest exhibition, my mental image of model houses was based on the twee scenery of English country villages, exactly like Bourton-on-the-Water’s Grade-II listed 1:9 scale model of their Cotswold village, so lovingly shrunk that you can see pews inside their St. Lawrence church. A full-time stonemason does the rounds to make sure the slate-roofed homes and the town’s whirring watermill remain safe from giant tourists. You won’t see this bucolic calm on show in ‘Model Behaviour’. Most of the artists here use maquettes as the basis of their work because they are a way of viewing the original social contract, made between designer and developer, before the housing market reduces it to either a redundant or extravagant shelter of capital.

James Casebere’s Landscapes are photographs of a slightly sterile model recreation of American suburbia, based on affluent Duchess County in Upstate New York. They show long, placid lawns of white houses and an involved community spirit: baseball courts, parked bicycles and a yellow school bus driving along the main road. The only thing is that no-one is around; the whole town is deserted with nobody to enjoy the numb prosperity of the place. Instead there are unnerving signs of danger littered across the sloping hills. Piles of logs are stacked outside the homes, as though some scaremongering telecast has told them to stock up, and the town’s distant bit of pine forest, encircled by a wind farm, is quickly catching fire. If this is suburbia build on sub-prime credit, then the sulphurous economic revenge is coming.

This exhibition also has its protesters to match. Jordi Colomer’s ongoing work in progress, Anarchitekton, consists of four videos based on his visits to four cities: Barcelona, Bucharest, Brasilia and Osaka. As a series they form a video travelogue of one man’s outcry against hegemonic power. He acts through a madman alter ego, Idroj Sanicne, and runs around the cities, all the while holding a miniature version of the surrounding architecture e.g. the advertisements plastered over buildings in Osaka, the dull exterior of Ceausescu’s grandiose palace. He is alone; there are no crowds of fellow campaigners, no banners or even text to explain his wild jeering.

Not all of the work is an anti-capitalist demo against the illusions we have about out homes and cities. Some of the artists maintain a romantic awe of the modelesque. Luis Lambri’s photographs are highly formalist interior shots of museum homes like Frank Lloyd Wright’s Darwin House and the rebuilt auditorium of Turin’s Teatro Regio. She stalks through the buildings and snaps narrow views through windows, the nooks of the opera house’s ceiling. They are too formalist in my view, the light and shape are framed for brief decorative pleasure and are photographed too preciously. Oliver Boberg’s Night Sights cast a blue-tinted look at an unusual subject: Industry. His short films, looped every 30 minutes, are practically motionless views of deserted factories and alleyways late at night. Their stillness is interrupted only by the hum of machinery and the occasional gust of steam. Industrial buildings, it seems, have their rhythms and they are made to appear filmic, seductive.

Throughout the majority of the works, the exhibition analyses the architectural contract that is made up before we ever come to inhabit our homes. They can be highly prettified, delicate contracts or they can hint early on at the dangers, greed and oversight of investment. Model houses appear during the period of securing a sale, during the times of spotless presentation before any filthy bricks are laid or foundations dug, and this show keeps us on the edge of unbuilt possibility.

Closes 11th December 2015. To find out more visit: holdengallery.mmu.ac.uk/2015/model-behaviour/

Chapter One

Written by Helena Maxwell-Jackson on . Posted in Food & Drink.

Picture: Richard Elzey @Flickr

The rain beat down on us as we made our way through the brick-clad lanes of the Northern Quarter. The wind chased us forward until our saunter broke into a reluctant jog. As we ran, we jumped, and swerved to avoid the puddles; until we were half-hearted gymnasts vaulting over ponds of murky city rainfall.

We had left our gloves in London. My friend was wearing a pair of socks on her hands, in an attempt to escape the inevitable fate of chilblains. My hands were bare. My pale face shivered beneath my acrylic beanie cap, like a rippling white flag, as I surrendered to the cold.

As we turned on to Lever Street, we came to a grey concrete building. The ground floor jutted out from the mass of the building above, literally stopping us in our path.
We slowed our pace until I could feel the slow squelch of cold water in my saturated shoes.

The grey façade of the building was punctuated by floor length windows. I peered through one.

Inside the building were large, fabric, coloured armchairs that were dispersed between displays of books, some of which were perched upon dark green picnic tables. My eyes drifted upwards toward the ceiling until they reached the sculptural lights. Their refulgence cascaded from the ceiling, meandering between the exposed copper pipes that hovered just below.

I peered at the shop sign at the front of the buildings. ‘Chapter One’, it read.

I reached out to open the door, and let the warmth of the room guide me inside. The sound of babbling water from a stone fountain in the middle of the shop mingled with the playlist of soft folk pop that trickled through the space.

I walked between the chairs and tables, between the books. As I walked I saw that the shop gave way to an exhibition space, its presence foreshadowed by the many art books situated at the back of the room.

Just short of the art gallery was a row of typewriters, each one separated by a glass plane. I tapped one of the metal keys, and I watched as the 4 letters instantaneously formed in front of my eyes.

First a C, then an A, a K, an E.

‘Cake’, we both whispered, in unison. We spoke the words as if we were possessed, for we could sense that vegan cupcakes were in the vicinity.

We found ourselves striding toward the café counter.

We stared at the selection of loose teas as we were hit by an enchanting ultimatum: berry tea and red velvet, or vegan chocolate cupcake with rose bud tea?

The latter materialised. Sitting upon the large, tarted armchairs, I watched as the amber liquid poured itself into the delicate china tea cups. As I did so, fragrant notes of vanilla and orange filled my nostrils.

Outside, the wind and the rain quickened to form a swirling vortex of fallen leaves, cigarette butts and….

‘Rose buds’ my friend gasped. Rays from the lights above hit her spectacles, and a pink glare filled the frames.

I looked down to the chocolate cupcake. It was a real old-fashioned fairy-cake with a moist crumb and glacé icing. With each bite of the cake, I could hear the wind swirling faster and faster outside. The sound filled my ears, as chocolate cake filled my mouth. And then, I wasn’t sure if the storm really was outside at all. Perhaps the windows had buckled under its force, for the whole room seemed to be spinning now. Books, and tea, and art works whirled around me, until I lost all sense of space, of time, of place.

I didn’t know if I was in Manchester any more. All I knew was that I was caught up in the magic of Chapter One.

Diary of a Tinder Addict

Written by Aj Mal on . Posted in Lifestyle.

Swipe, swipe, swipe

Stacey has found herself matching, chatting, flirting and arranging dates with new men in the most unusual of places.

Swipe, swipe, swipe. Flicking through potential love interests with a wave of a finger, Stacey wondered how long she would have to wait to hear back from Will, her date from the night before last. “Call him, text him, Facebook message? Definitely don’t call… who does that now anyway?”

She sends a text and waits…

Still waiting on the bus to uni… considering replying to the good looking photo with the standard cheesy opening: Heyyy. Possibly the least pervy message she received in the last 24 hours.

During lectures, and Will has posted on Instagram and Facebook, yet no reply… Stacey considers updating status to: Fuming.

Messages sent over lunch and revenge date arranged for tonight. Also just recognised recent Tinder match after passing on street. Definitely worse in real life.

Her non-stop 20-second cycle of looking at her phone screen, responding to messages, and just seeing if there was anyone new online has become an addiction. She knows this because her date has just told her. First date dress and makeup on, butterflies in her stomach on the way to the bar, but completely bored and wondering how to make an early exit before she has finished her first drink.

He said he was into comics and rolled his eyes when she said she likes all types of music. Why did she agree to a meal… rookie mistake.

It’s going to be a long night. She reaches for her phone as the red flame beckons…

Get Involved: Sporticipate Squash & Racketball

Written by Harry Newton on . Posted in Sport.

If the university team isn’t for you, or you simply want to play a sport, such as squash/racketball, at a more chilled level, then maybe the more relaxed Sporticipate sessions are for you! With attendance at these events increasing each week, around 30 students are returning each week to take part in the squash/racketball sessions. This is a great way to make friends and be part of a team whilst learning and playing squash/racketball.

Also, you don’t even need much experience to play the sport, since one of the participants in the sessions states, “I did not have much experience before I started this September getting into squash. At the start it is easy to learn the basics, but to improve is a slower and longer process. The feeling is nice when you finally get better and own the T in the court. When you play against better players and never stand on T, it can be off-putting, but I try to see the positive and learn from it. I recommended squash to many of my friends and some off them started to get into it, too.”

With the university squash club already full up, this is a great way to play the sport, but also a great way to learn the sport ready for next year (or even semester two if spaces become available). The sessions themselves are really relaxed, as coach Max Gibbs mentions, “I try to make the sessions feel as welcoming and relaxed as possible so that it won’t deter anyone who wants to join in. I usually start assessing who needs my attention the most and set others off with practices or free play… then I leave them to it, which allows them to discover things for themselves and play the game in an even more relaxed environment.”

Although Sporticipate is arguably less competitive than the university teams, due to the results not actually counting for anything beyond your own personal accolade, it is a much more relaxed environment. Coach Max describes how he splits the group into teams of equally skilled players to play each other in competitive games. The sense of challenge and competitiveness is evident still. Max also states that “the difficulty of the sessions is easily managed by switching between racketball and squash and by varying the type of ball used for the session.”

Max adds, “I believe in making things manageable for players but also giving them a sense of a challenge.” So, whether to keep fit, pick up an old sport, or fall in love with a new one, you should go down to the squash/racketball sessions every Thursday 6:20 – 9pm.

‘Twas the knit before Christmas

Written by Kassi Allcock on . Posted in Fashion & Beauty.

The Festive Animal

Photo: ASOS, £18

Without a doubt, the reindeer is the most graceful, most aesthetically pleasing festive animal. Although penguins and polar bears can make a cute addition to December’s knitwear, they are not exactly the epitome of elegant. Unless you’re on the hunt for a Christmas jumper that is so outrageously bad that it’s actually jaw-dropingly good, I would opt for Dasher, Prancer, and Blitzen.

 

The Festive Decoration

Photo: Warehouse, £46

It’s becoming increasingly difficult to find a stylish festive jumper that celebrates the love we all share for Christmas decorations. Unless you want to walk around Manchester City Centre lit up like a Christmas tree or, even worse, have carols playing from your bosom, the search continues. This classy getup from Warehouse, however, ticks all the boxes. Fashionable, check. Colourful without being eccentric, check. Holiday loving, check. The zenith of Christmas jumpers.

 

The Festive Fair Isle

Photo: Next £22

A classic in anybody’s Christmas jumper wardrobe. Whether a navy background with white and red stitching, or a white background with navy and red detailing, a fair isle knit is a must-have during the holiday season. Usually featuring our fave festive animal again (the reindeer, who else?), or alternatively decorated in a cosy Christmas setting, there is plenty of choice along the highstreet.

 

The Festive Snowflake

Photo: Superdry £64.99

Although damp and bitterly cold winter weather may accompany the holiday season, there is no reason to dismay. A white Christmas brings along beautiful jumper designs, celebrating each intricate snowflake as they fall one by one. This festive piece from Superdry hits with full force; embellished with dazzling sequins and thick enough to shelter you from the terrible weather.

 

The Festive Wreath

Photo: John Lewis £49.95

Hey, look who it is! Our trusty old friend, Rudolph. This masterpiece from Joules just screams festive fun, whilst remaining fairly elegant. With a mixture of all the key Christmas colours, and knitted using an intarsia technique, you can’t really go wrong. If you can’t afford to decorate your front door with a real wreath this December, decorate your wardrobe instead.

 

The Festive Slogan

Photo: Marks & Spencer £29.50

What would a Christmas jumper list be without at least one slogan? Avoiding the obvious clichés, and some of the more embarrassing ‘trendy’ phrases such as ‘Santa is my bae’ and ‘#elfie’, I’ve chosen an old classic. Although I don’t agree with the message—snow is my least favourite weather, ever—there is no denying that a jingle starts to play as soon as the jumper catches your eye. Especially with the addition of glitter detailing, this M&S beauty would create the perfect Christmas Day ensemble.

Jeremy Corbyn’s omnishambles

Written by Colm Lock on . Posted in Opinion.

Back when most current students were just getting out of nappies, New Labour was emerging from a staggering victory at the 1997 general election. They had won it with a mix of sound political promises and very smooth and co-ordinated media coverage. It was the time of ‘cool Britannia’, and when the Labour party seemed unstoppable. For the whole of Blair’s first government, he managed to completely eclipse the then Leader of the Opposition, William Hague.

Well, how the mighty have indeed fallen. The party has had something of a Bolshevik revolution with the established Blairite royalty being taken down into a cellar and shot by the Corbynite communists. The likes of Liz Kendal, Yvette Cooper, Chuka Ummuna, and Tristram Hunt have fallen, and with them, Labour’s electability.

Let us first deal with the Shadow International Development Secretary Diane Abbott. Rightly sacked by Ed Miliband, this woman—whose behaviour was described by another shadow minister as “fucking nutty”—has returned. She appears to be the person Labour want to throw under the bus for terrible interviews. If she isn’t insanely cackling through tricky questions, she is defending the indefensible.

Recently this took the form of her claiming on The Daily Politics that John McDonnell, the Shadow Chancellor, had not signed a certain petition calling for MI5 to be abolished. A point she chose to defend even when the host pulled up a picture of Mr McDonnell holding said petition. Not much can be said of her taste in men either, when past partners include the chief comrade himself.

Now we come to John McDonnell. He is a man about as qualified to be Shadow Chancellor as a sheep that has somehow come to be in possession of an abacus. As mentioned above, he has previously chosen to back the disbanding of MI5 and Britain’s armed police forces, probably so that his friends in the IRA have an easier time. He is known to have supported anti-British terrorists to the extent that he said dead IRA terrorists should be honoured. These being the same people that bombed the Arndale centre back in the 90s. Furthermore, his economic policy is about as coherent as a Glaswegian after a hard night out in Motherwell. He plans to increase the deficit, print more money and in the process, raise your taxes! How would you like to surrender 50, 60, or 70 per cent of your hard earned pounds to a man who would waste it on such anachronistic vanity projects as reopening the coal mines and subsidising unprofitable industries?

Now we come to the main man, the first among equals, Jezza Corbyn. Now, as students of the University of Manchester, we have all had to achieve a certain academic standard to attend this fine institution. Mr Corbyn however only managed two Es at A-level before going on to do Trade Union Studies, which he did not even complete, at North London Polytechnic. I don’t know about you but I want my leader to be, you know, actually clever.

His frankly dismal Commons performance has shown that he about as capable a debater as an unusually timid dormouse. Then there’s his dubious past. Following the Brighton IRA bombing, he invited the leaders of Sinn Féin to parliament. He has called Hamas and Hezbollah his friends and encouraged Iraqi resistance to the 2003 invasion, which is tantamount to an endorsement of the killing of British troops. He is also a member of the pressure group Stop the War which recently blamed the Paris attacks on the West, saying that it is our fault a bunch of nutty murderers chose to slaughter innocent people.

Then of course there are the other failings of his party. One of the most glaring is his Shadow Minister for the City of London, Richard Burgon MP. He has never even had a meeting with city bosses. Instead, he chooses to go to a friends of Venezuela meeting and other assorted socialist events, showing the party’s lack of respect for an important part of this country’s economy.

We also must not neglect politics north of the wall, where Labour is declining under his leadership in Scotland as he lets the Scottish cohort become more and more SNP-lite. This has understandably frightened the unionists amongst Scottish Labour’s voters who appear to be deserting to the Tories in numbers that could see Labour pushed into a narrow third place.

However, there is one thing I can not fault Mr Corbyn on and that is his remembrance day performance. He behaved above and beyond the call of duty. I say shame on Mr Cameron for not following suit. Corbyn chose to stay behind to applaud and chat to the veterans as they marched on Horse Guards. The names of my village war dead are ingrained on my memory. I would personally love the chance to meet some of the veterans and hear their stories. They have lived history and like many in my family, have seen things many of us couldn’t even imagine in service of their country.

I will leave you with this one thought readers. The Labour Party has never in its history deposed a leader because he is unpopular. They kept Michael Foot, Neil Kinnock and Ed Miliband until they had lost the next election. So, for all of Corbyn’s trials and tribulations, he is likely to hold on until 2020 and then we will see what the British people truly make of him. Does anyone else smell toast?

Live: Chvrches at the Albert Hall

Written by Oscar Talbot on . Posted in Music.

Thursday 19th November

Albert Hall

8/10

As Lauren Mayberry leaps around the stage, flicking her microphone cable around like a whip and singing “We will take the best parts of ourselves and make them gold”, it somehow seems a little trite, too unequivocal. The balance is slightly off for the whole night, meaning I am struggling to make out her excellent vocals, but the synths are buffeting the crowd around. Someone’s mum looks a bit uncomfortable.

There’s no doubting Mayberry’s energy. I feel a little tired just watching her, and her charisma and stage presence demonstrates that Chvrches are truly in their element. Her controlled aesthetic compliments the 80s dance music, and is undeniably catchy. Although ‘Make Them Gold’ is not my favorite track on Every Open Eye, the band’s latest offering, it’s still a good tune, showcasing Chvrches blend of 80s revival complimented by cycling crescendos that have made the Glaswegian band so popular. As beautiful as the Albert Hall is, its over 18s only policy slightly screwed Chvrches in my opinion, as it seems highly likely a large part of their appeal is to the under-18 demographic.

However, the more cinematic songs of the first album, such as ‘Gun’, generally still reign. There are some songs that could have been omitted from their discography. Open Every Eye is such a strong album that weaker songs such as ‘Under the Tide’ could finally be dispensed with; easily the weakest song of the night, it sees Mayberry get behind the synths while the overly enthusiastic Martin Doherty takes center stage. Destroying the carefully constructed feeling of contained emotion that Mayberry creates, Doherty’s dancing is too reminiscent of Gob Bluth’s chicken dance to be taken seriously. Fortunately the next song on the roster is the excellent ‘Recover’, clearly still a crowd favourite, and although Chvrches must be bored of their stand out track by now, they don’t show it.

The encore ‘Leave a Trace’ is also excellent, although it seems a shame to keep the stand-out single from Open till the end. Nevertheless it merits a triumphant return to Manchester, and while Chvrches could have quite easily converted to being a stadium band, it shows a particular kind of integrity that they haven’t. Many of the songs would lose their meticulous ensemble, and there is a sort of wonderfully shambolic enjoyment that Chvrches emulate. And as often happens at the Albert Hall, it was a star-studded event, meaning I got the immense pleasure of watching a very drunk Jack Whitehall scream along to ‘Recover’, which was the icing on the cake for a fantastic night.

Record reappraisal: Burial – Untrue

Written by Jacob Bernard-Banton on . Posted in Music.

Released 5th November 2007 via Hyperdub

Somewhere on YouTube exists a rather ad hoc interview conducted by esteemed DJ Gilles Peterson—and featuring an uncharacteristically cheerful Thom Yorke—in which Flying Lotus claims that Burial’s Untrue only really made sense when he went on “a road trip” around the UK. That it had been raining on his visit only endeared him more to the album. Truth be told, the only backdrop that feels appropriate for Untrue’s deeply affecting, haunting soundscapes would have to be a cold, grim day in south London, cast in grey skies at the same moment that the heavens have opened.

The beauty of Untrue lies in its undimmed, elegiac melancholy; this is an album that sounds like the wistful memories of an ageing clubber. There are muffled swells of UK garage and deep house flavours; warped vocal samples cribbed from 90s UK hardcore; the rattling thump of 2-step. The result is amorphous and nebulous, though strangely lucid. Stranger still is the warmth that emerges from the album’s ghostly ambient textures. The song titles are stark and unembellished (‘In McDonalds’, ‘Homeless’), visceral tunes told as matter-of-fact. Untrue sounds so authentically like dark winter nights in the SE postcode area that it spawned the short-lived pseudo-genre ‘night-bus’—the musical incarnation of the type of person who elects to sit at the very back of the top deck of any night bus, dressed silently in a hoodie with their headphones on, nodding incessantly.

Untrue’s mood belongs to a specific era of exciting British music: The early-noughties dubstep explosion, an era that evokes images of lo-fi Boiler Room-imitating sessions in someone’s basement listening to bass-heavy music amongst a dense cloud of cannabis smoke. Such a scene may never happen again—dubstep bore inextricable ties to the environments it was produced in, now rendered unrecognisable in the age of austerity and cancerous, homogenous gentrification. As ever, things got lost in translation when dubstep was belatedly embraced across the pond. The woefully unsubtle, commercialised American variant amplified the sub-bass showboating but lost its cutting-edge spirit. And yet, Burial remains thoroughly unique. Untrue wasn’t and isn’t like other dubstep landmarks: Not nearly as deceptively abrasive as Benga’s Diary of an Afro Warrior, less spartan than DMZ’s output. In fact, it still sounds winningly alien, by turns mysterious (‘Ghost Hardware’, the loping stride of ‘Etched Headplate’) and desperately moving (‘Shell of Light’). An astonishing masterpiece.

January Pangaea theme revealed

Written by Charlie Spargo on . Posted in News.

January 2016’s Pangaea theme will have a retro games theme, it was announced today.

Titled Pangaea: Level 10, this will be a celebration of the Festival’s 10th birthday. “Featuring 15 stages—or levels—across the entire Students’ Union and Manchester Academy site, almost 6,000 students are expected to attend,” say the organisers.

After the success of a sold-out September event, the Students’ Union are hoping that this will be the best one since its inception in January 2006.

“We’re incredibly excited for the 10th anniversary of a festival which has grown from strength to strength to be one of the most important dates in the student calendar,” says Joel Smith, Activities and Development Officer. “It’s been really exciting to see hundreds of students getting involved with such a dynamic project.”

2013 saw the first year that Pangaea hosted three events a year, adding a Welcome Week date on top of the January and June dates. Pangaea Festival has reportedly become the largest student-led festival in Europe.

Pangaea will take place between 8pm and 6am on Saturday the 30th of January 2016, to round off the exam period. Line-up and ticket details will be released in the coming weeks.

What’s on this December in art?

Written by Ashley McGovern on . Posted in Arts.

Manchester Art Gallery: Matthew Darbyshire, An Exhibition for Modern Living (Open till Sunday 10 January 2016). Free Entry. 

The title of Darbyshire’s show, a survey of his interior installations from the past seven years, is borrowed from an exhibition originally held at the Detroit Institute of Arts in 1949. The original was full of hope for post-war American design, whereas Darbyshire’s work is interested in the unique ways we accumulate odd trinkets and then display them in our homes. It’s a highly eccentric show. Palac (2009/15) reimagines the Stalinist Palace of Culture and Science as though it was a community arts centre built under New Labour. Also on display is his furry, swanky design for a smoking shelter, imitation classical statuary made from polystyrene and Oak Effect, a crowded puzzle box interior made by slotting together flat pack furniture and old wooden treasures from MAG’s collection.

Whitworth Art Gallery: Art_Textiles (Open till 31 January 2016). Free Entry. 

The Whitworth’s Art_Textiles show explores the storytelling potential of textiles and tapestries. Artists such as Magdalena Abakanowicz, Tracey Emin and Grayson Perry are gathered here, including his sitcom-like tapestry series, The Vanity of Small Differences. Inspired by Hogarth’s “A Rake’s Progress” prints, and using a craft form associated with Raphael’s cartoons for Pope Leo X and the lavishly royalist works at the Chateau de Fontainebleau, he delights in the class contrast: “I enjoy the idea of using this costly and ancient medium to show the commonplace dramas of modern British life.”

Castlefield Gallery: B/Q: Roland Barthes and Magnus Quaife (4 December 2015 — 31 January 2016). Free Entry.

Art and philosophy meet in Castlefield’s new show to celebrate the centenary of Roland Barthes’ birth. A painter himself and admirer of Cy Twombly’s abstract squiggles, Quaife pays tribute to the great French semiotician. The art form most associated with Barthes is photography. Camera Lucida, his last book, tried to pinpoint the defining feature of photography, the unique hallmark that separates it from the painting. Upon seeing a photograph you face the undeniable proof that the person has existed and, depending on the time period, that this person, once a living, posing, conscious sitter, is now long gone. Death permeates photography as though every negative, even those taken right this minute, are developed in Lethean waters. Who knows what Quaife will do with Barthes’ mournful theories?

Christmas Poem

Written by Elena Gibbs on . Posted in News.

‘Twas two weeks before Christmas, and all through the Union,
Creatures were stirring, at The Mancunion.

Articles were written, published and subbed,
Stress levels were rising, shoulders were rubbed.

The elves set to work, loading the paper,
Deciding how best, to divide the labour.

Stitches were sewn, from cover to cover,
In order to create, an issue like no other.

The editors were busy, bustling and hungry,
Awaiting orders, from their chief Charlie.

‘News!’ he cried, ‘Features, Opinion!’,
‘Books, Film, Lifestyle, Music, Fashion!’

He rounded them up, calling them by names,
‘Sport, Photography, Theatre, Art, Games!’

But something was missing, something afoot,
Food and Drink was gone, and in its place: soot.

That night was sleepless, all awake in their beds,
How could Christmas go on without page 23’s red?

The morning seemed sombre, as they went to print,
Then with a jingle of bells, appeared Food and Drink.

But something was different, ‘twas plain to see,
Music seemed bolder, and more sassy.

Had they swapped colours, could it be true?
Charlie needed answers quick, there was so much to do

‘New year, new me’ Food laughed, and threw back its head,
I’ve always believed orange is the new red.

Students’ Union launches nightly shuttle bus service

Written by Georgie Hines on . Posted in News.

The University of Manchester Students’ Union has officially launched its nightly shuttle bus service intended to avoid students walking home alone and keep them safe on the streets.

It will run from 9pm to 3am from Monday to Saturdayand from 9pm to 12am every Sunday during term time. All students are welcome to use the service, which will leave on the hour, whether they have been studying at the library or are coming back from a night out.

Journeys will cost between £2 – 4 depending on which zone a student lives in. The majority of Fallowfield, where most of the student body reside, falls into zone 2 which costs £3. Even without cash to hand, students can exchange their student ID for the fare. They can then collect it from 12pm the next day in the Students’ Union after paying for their journey.

The bus is exclusively for University of Manchester students, boys included, and a valid student ID must be supplied upon boarding the bus. Seats on the 13-man bus will be free to reserve at the Learning Commons front desk and spaces will be given on a first come first serve basis.

Being slightly intoxicated isn’t a problem either, with the bus equipped with buckets just in cases. The service just asks that passengers remain respectful towards the driver and do not become too rowdy.

The person behind this scheme is Women’s Officer Jess Lishak, who originated the idea as part of her manifesto during student elections. She said: “I’m so happy to be launching the student shuttle bus. It took a bit longer than expected due to some logistical issues but I’ve been overwhelmed by the positive response to the scheme.

“It’s addressing two different issues that I faced and identified as Women’s Officer last year, the lack of specialised support for students who have been raped or sexually assaulted, and the issue of women students being too scared to come onto campus and leave their houses at night.

“This scheme will help students go about their everyday lives without fear whilst also strengthening our links with local services and providing better support for our students around sexual violence, which complements the campaigning work we do around these issues.”

Proceeds will go to helping students affected by sexual harassment by funding a support worker from Manchester Rape Crisis, a confidential support service for victims of rape and abuse. The money raised will also go towards training university and Union staff on how to support students in similar positions.

Lishak added that she hopes “that people use it so that we can keep it running and in turn fund some really important services for students who’ve experienced sexual violence.”

The service is currently offering the opportunity to become a paid driver or chaperone. For enquiries about available roles contact Jess Lishak or for general information about the scheme head to: manchesterstudentunion.com/bus.

Students protest airstrikes on Syria

Written by Lola Albarn on . Posted in News.

With the decision to bomb Syria being rushed through Parliament, urgent protests were organised across the country to show the people’s opposition to military action.

Members of Parliament came together Wednesday the 2nd of December to vote on whether Britain should take military action against so-called IS (Daesh) in Syria. The debate came after the devastating terrorist attacks in Paris on the 13th of November. The French President François Hollande in response asked the European nations to do more and join them in the fight against the terrorist group; France’s warplanes have been executing military action in Syria for some time.

David Cameron led the support for the bill, his main point being: “Do we work with our allies to degrade and destroy this threat and do we go after these terrorists in their heartlands from where they are plotting to kill British people, or do we sit back and wait for them to attack us?”

Jeremy Corbyn was the figurehead of the opposition against military intervention in Syria. In an article for the The Guardian, Corbyn stated: “The Prime Minister has avoided spelling out to the British people the warnings he has surely been given about the likely impact of British airstrikes in Syria on the threat of terrorist attacks in the UK.”

In Manchester, the organisation Greater Manchester Stop the War Coalition used Facebook to spread the word out on a protest that they were hosting in Picadilly Gardens, five hours before the result of the vote was due to be released. According to the events page, over a 1,000 people pledged to attend and show their solidarity with the group.

The march started in the centre of Picadilly Gardens and looped around the centre of town, through Oxford Street and Deansgate.

The chants on the march included “welfare not warfare” and “David Cameron shame on you. Open borders, let them through.”

Chloe Heard, a University of Manchester student and one of the protestors in the march had said that she “went to the march because I believe bombing Syria would make our lives in Manchester and around Europe more vulnerable—let alone those innocent lives in Syria that will be affected. We have learnt from the past that bombing does not work, it is a lazy reaction to a more complex problem.”

Another University of Manchester student, Rob Paterson, who attended the protest said: “Trying to fight terrorism with a bombing campaign is like setting a house on fire to kill a mouse that’s hiding under the floorboards. It won’t work and Cameron’s assertions that it’ll make Britain safer and that casualties will be minimal outrage me. Many innocent people will die and if anything this will make us more of a target of terrorism.”

One of the key speakers at the end of the march was 89-year-old Malcolm, a lifelong pacifist who had been imprisoned for refusing conscription in his youth. Speaking on the IS attacks in France, Malcolm explained these actions and stated: “If they are bombed from the skies, how can they retaliate? If they are shot with missiles from the water, how can they retaliate? By killing citizens.”

Students attended protests across the country. Two Bristol correspondents Roisin Sterne and Ginny Fursse spoke to protestors there, one of whom said that “bombing is not going to do anything,” and that the government’s actions should be to “stop our relationship with Saudi Arabia, they’re the people who fund ISIS.” Another student added that there “was a case for having some kind of intervention” but that it needed to be more “transparent, not just a yes or no dichotomy between bombs and nothing”.

Despite the outpour of British opposition to the bombing of Syria, with 82 per cent of people voting against the strikes in a poll carried out by The Independent with 10,642 participants, the result of the MPs’ vote was in support of military intervention against Syria.

The Greater Manchester Stop the War Coalition, along with others similar across the country, announced further action in response to this decision, and have organised another march on Saturday the 5th of December, at 1pm in Picadilly Gardens.

University of Sheffield withdraws fossil fuel investment

Written by George Ball on . Posted in News.

The University of Sheffield has announced plans to sell the shares that it holds in fossil fuel companies by the next academic year. The move, which follows concerns raised by staff and students, will see the university sell shares worth £39m. The investments currently support scholarships, bursaries and academic posts, but they will be replaced by a new, more socially responsible, investment policy.

Bob Rabone, University of Sheffield Chief Financial Officer, explained that the decision came after an “extended period of careful discussion across the university, as well as listening to the concerns of staff and students on this crucial issue, including the campaign to disinvest from fossil fuels.”

Discussing the timeframe for the change, Rabone said, “the university is committed to implementing our new policy as soon as can be practically achieved and, subject to taking further advice, we agreed to report back to the Council within this academic year.”

The announcement seems all the more relevant coming against the backdrop of the United Nations Conference on Climate Change (COP21) in Paris. More than 150 world leaders are meeting to discuss reducing global carbon emissions—the first meeting of its kind since 2009.

Naia Lopez, a co-ordinator for Fossil Free, a divestment protest group, praised the decision, saying: “Sheffield University and others’ commitments to divest from the fossil fuel industry reinforce the decade-long call from indigenous communities to keep fossil fuels in the ground.”

Although the change has been seen as a breakthrough by some, others claim much more is needed to be done for Universities to become responsible, both socially and environmentally. Chris Saltmarsh, a coordinator of the Sheffield Fossil Free Campaign, said: “Although we are pleased that the University of Sheffield has chosen to divest from all fossil fuels, they must recognise that divestment can only be the start of the fight against the climate crisis.

“Sheffield University has received over £600,000 in sponsorship from BP and Shell over the past five years. If the University wishes to be seen as truly socially and environmentally responsible, it must take measures to cut all its ties with fossil fuel companies.”

The University of Sheffield are not the first UK university to pledge divestment in fossil fuels. In fact they join 18 other universities in aiming to become more environmentally accountable. It was only last week that the London School of Economics chose to divest its £97.2 million endowment from coal and tar sands. These universities join Oxford University and Warwick University among others in making divestment pledges.

The issue of divestment continues to be a contentious one at the University of Manchester. In July, the Manchester Fossil Free group protested outside the Learning Commons, urging divestment. It was reported in The Mancunion earlier this year that the university had had almost £40 million invested in fossil fuels.

What’s On: Manchester’s Christmas markets

Written by Mancunion on . Posted in News.

CHEESE:
The highlight of the Christmas markets, for me, was the expansive row of wonderful cheese I was confronted with when I entered the centre of Albert Square. Seemingly going on for miles were plates and plates of small tester cubes to taste. Here, you can find cheeses in a variety of flavours and maturity. Classic cheeses such as 24-month-old cheese and cheese flavoured with truffle sit alongside new favourites such as red or green pesto flavour and unconventional choices, too, such as peach and coconut flavoured cheese. I wouldn’t say that the latter two would be my choice to buy and take home, but being able to try out these unusual combinations adds to the excitement of the outing. The pesto cheeses were outstanding—I would highly recommend buying some to make some sumptuous cheese on toast with a twist.

Photo: Paul Wilkinson @Flickr

STRUDEL:
The strudel was everything you would want it to be. After deliberating for a while, about which flavours to choose, and settling on a cherry strudel, we were not disappointed when it arrived. We were handed a huge portion (definitely getting good value for money here) which my friend and I had struggled to finish between the two of us. Beneath the crisp pastry was a perfectly sticky and sweet cherry compote, all covered in a generous scoop of warm and creamy vanilla custard. The beautiful, wintery surroundings of the market were only made to be more magical by being able to enjoy it whilst sitting and eating the ultimate comforting pudding.

Photo: John Keogh @Flickr

Sophie Wyvurd

MULLED WINE:
Nothing says Christmas quite like a steaming mug of spiced wine.
The market charges a reasonable four pounds for a delicious cup of mulled wine. There is a two pound deposit fee for the festive red mug, which you can choose to keep. Mulled wine is a delicious winter drink best served hot or warm and is traditionally made with red wine and various mulling spices. There are lots of places to pick up a mug on the go, or alternatively, you can enjoy a serving in one of the huts and soak up the merry atmosphere around you. If you are heading down to the Christmas market, be sure to not miss out on a mug of mulled wine to get you in the festive spirit. The mulled wine on offer encapsulates everything that one should be—sweet and strong.

Photo: Photeka@Flickr

Lucy Brenner

SAUSAGE ROLLS:
Porkys Of Yarm (The Pig & Barrel) sell really wonderful pig rolls. With a whole hog out front and a wood panelled seating area in the back, The Pig & Barrel is a good spot. The pork itself is a good mix of meat and crisp skin, the slight dryness is immediately remedied by the rich stuffing and self-serviced apple sauce. For £5.00, and the amount you get, this is one of the best value items at the market.

Photo: Jeremy Keith

PIES

Great North Pie Co. stock easily one of the best things available at the market. The Great North Pie Co. are artisan pie makers based in Wilmslow. Try the award-winning (the British Pie Awards are very real) Goosnargh chicken, mushroom, English mustard and tarragon pie with gravy or one of their equally delicious vegetarian options, white Cheshire cheese, beetroot, cranberry and orange at £6.50. The fillings taste like the best stew you’ve never had and the all butter crust is sublime.


BRATWURST
At the Bavarian Swing Grill:

A German swing grill is an amazing thing. Visually, it’s impressive and you get a good smoky flavour by cooking the wurst slowly over glowing coals. The stall also has really good names. Try the Riesen Krakauer Spicy—which isn’t too spicy at all—or the standard Super Bratwurst Plain in a roll for £4.50.

Bavarian swing grill. Photo: Manchester Meals

At the Lakeland Picnic Company:

There is a strong German theme throughout the market. My friend kindly informed me that Christmas is “really big over there.” With said theme comes a lot frankfurters—though it’s worth giving the British sausage contingent a taste. Try the Cumberland sausage with fried onions and a homemade carrot carrot chutney in a bun at £5.50. A nice bonus to add, with every Cumberland Sausage sold, 50p goes towards the Wood Street Mission Children’s Charity.

Felix Sanders

DUTCH PANCAKES:

Known in Belgium and the Netherlands as pannekoek, these pancakes may be small but are by no means light. Cooked in front of you in little hot pockets, the sweet batter forms into a thick, rich bite that you’ll definitely want to sink your sweet tooth into. A choice of sauces include nutella, a range of treacle and jam generously smothered on top, accompanied with a dusting of icing sugar to make for an aptly snowy finish. If you’re feeling slightly more adventurous, why not try the ‘appelstroop’ topping—an unspiced Dutch variety of apple butter!

Photo: Anne Swoboda

FLAMMKUCHEN:

One of the less well known stalls at the christmas markets but certainly one not to be missed, the Alsatian (a region of France) and South German stand of ‘Flammkuchen’. A pleasant change from the meaty sausages and goulash hot pots on offer, the smell of the doughy delight wafting from the fired oven will surely entice you over. The traditional dish consisting of a thin pizza-like base covered with créme fraîche or white cheese, sliced onions and salty bacon lardons make for a deliciously filling bite. You can’t go wrong with the traditional toppings trio—but if you fancy jazzing it up, mushrooms, gruyere cheese or munster cheese can be added.

Photo: Stefan Muth @Flickr

Hope Rapp

Christmas survival guide

Written by Eva Katz on . Posted in Lifestyle.

“‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, the sole sound to my ears was my mother’s screech like a Scouse, the odour of burnt turkey (so foul) fills the air and the dog is sat quivering behind the armchair.

My siblings wreak havoc, fuelled by too many Buck’s Fizz, Nana’s knocked over her drink, she’s in such a tizz. The bin’s overflowing with wrapping paper galore and the relentless Christmas carols are becoming a bore.”  

If this all sounds painfully familiar, then be rest assured that you’re not suffering alone. Once you become a student—in theory—you gain a relative enjoyment of your newfound independence, therefore the holidays are often a vastly underwhelming experience. Yes, you get food made for you every day, yes you are allowed to have the heating on without the depressive worry about your dwindling bank account. But do these advantages really outweigh the persistent nagging from your family, the constant need to know where you are and what you’re doing on top of Mum’s extraordinarily early hoovering? The answer is probably dependent on how well you and your family cope with the inevitable stress that comes with this most joyous time of year. But with some minor adjustments, you can make this a Christmas to remember, for good reasons rather than bad.

Food is often something that many struggle to readjust to when returning home for the holidays. It is likely that over the semester, you would have developed a liking for foods, eating habits and schedules that don’t exactly conform with those at home.

Tip: Offer to cook some of your newfound favourites for the family. Not only will this mean that you don’t have to worry about your expanding waistline or consuming yet another concoction involving turkey leftovers, it could also relieve a little stress from the usual family chef and thus make the kitchen a slightly less daunting place in the house.

As if that’s not enough, there will undoubtedly be comments on weight made or lost over the festive period: “you’re looking a little rounder than when I saw you last” or “you look like a bag of bones” will likely grace your ears.

Tip: The trick to combatting this is to make the most of the season’s debatable fashion sense and don on a Christmas jumper or two. Check out the fashion section for some of The Mancunion’s favourites.

Small talk with distant relatives is another exciting element to look forward to this Christmas. “How’s whatever you’re doing now going?” doesn’t exactly scream genuine interest now, does it? Persistent questions about your love life—whether it be nonexistent or sordid—are yet another reason to be thankful it’s Christmas.

Tip: Turn the tables and ask the questions first, or better yet ask close family members to tell you a little about what the more distant family has been getting up to. You never know, you may have a lot in common—or better yet, score an awesome internship for next summer.

If you’re fortunate (or perhaps unfortunate) enough to have young children in your family, you’ll already know that this is a bittersweet time, especially during the holidays. Yes, the excitement on their faces on Christmas morning will warm even the most Scrooge-like of hearts. However, it is also likely that their Christmas morning will start at an extraordinarily early hour i.e. 6am. The combination of too much chocolate and hours of excitement will also make for some rather whiny infants as the day draws to a close. What’s more, being the independent and ‘responsible’ student that you are, you will also be graced with the role of babysitter.

Tip: Chocolate is not your best form of bribery—queue hyper children reluctant to go to bed when they’re told to. Instead, use a cup of hot chocolate to put them off to sleep. This, matched with a little extra effort playing in the snow during the day will ensure they’ll go out like a light.

 

There’s no denying that giving gifts is a stressful and tenuous process. Getting it right can result in elation for giver and receiver alike, but the look of disappointment following the receival of an unwanted presents can really ruin Christmas.

Tip: If you haven’t done so already, send out your Christmas list as soon as possible. Ensure that you include gifts at a range of prices and make sure that your family communicates to avoid receiving the same thing twice.

Sport is becoming a bit of a dope

Written by Will Kelly on . Posted in Sport.

Forget the individual players, it’s administrators who need performance enhancement if sport is not to soon come crashing down. The world’s sporting governing bodies cannot keep up with the performance enhancing drug use out there, meaning ultimately there will be, for the foreseeable future, less enhancement in those who are supposed to be running the sports. At the moment, the heads of these organisations are currently competing in the Olympics of uselessness. To quote from an excellent article written by Marina Hyde of The Guardian, “It’s time to either clean up sport or simply put the Teletubbies in charge.”

As of last week, Russia’s Athletics Federation has accepted its ban from international competition without requesting a hearing. How they could have even attempted to defend themselves is perhaps in the loose sense, like suggesting that the Americans ‘faked’ the moon landing. This was essentially a state-sponsored doping programme that sabotaged the London 2012 Olympics, and the word ‘ludicrous’ doesn’t give justice to what an appalling situation it really is.

Russian sports minister Vitaly Mutko had originally dismissed the IAAF’s “immediate sanction” as a minor inconvenience and said that “nothing will happen.” The IAAF will be holding a meeting in Monaco on Thursday to determine the measures Russia needs to implement to be reinstated to world athletics.

It’s quite frankly laughable that it was only in August that the President of the IAAF, Britain’s Lord Coe, declared: “There is nothing in our history of integrity in drug testing to warrant attack,” and that the press were simply wrong in their reports of suspicious blood tests involving hundreds of athletes over a ten-year period. His terminal defense on athletics is as dogged as his refusal to realize that his own conflict of interest in roles as IAAF and his ambassadorial role for Nike. Coe has come under scrutiny that he was still receiving £100,000 a year from Nike whilst an email obtained by the BBC appear to show Coe in discussions with a senior Nike Executive over for the 2021 World Athletic Championships for Eugene. The calls for Coe to quit his Nile role mirror that of the sportswear giant’s slogan, “Just Do it”.

IAAF would ultimately win gold in the race for the most useless sporting organization out there in regards to doping in sport. Boxing may soon join the race after Wythenshawe Boxing maniac Tyson Fury has come out recently suggesting boxing has a big problem with doping. However, this is of course the same man who has recently suggested that paedophilia will shortly be legalised because the “devil’s” ideas of abortion and homosexuality are legalised in this world. Wladmir Klitschko’s comment, that this man has the “brain of a squirrel,” is perhaps the most polite way of putting it.

Up then steps the Wales Rugby Board onto the podium, who appear to have reverted to the “but so does everyone else” card. Martyn Phillips, Chief Executive of the Wales Rugby Board, has been asserting that doping is not just a rugby issue but in fact “a challenge for everybody,” despite the fact a third of the British sportsmen and women currently banned for doping are from Wales, including 17 club rugby players from both codes.

Normally, there will be something every week that would entice someone to have a rant about how corrupt and awful FIFA as an organisation is and the astonishment that Sepp Blatter has not left football yet. But we now turn to another football organisation in UEFA, the European Football Association.

Dinamo Zagreb’s Arijan Ademi failed a drug test after his side defeated Arsenal in the Champions League group stage. The midfielder, who played the full 90 minutes as Zagreb defeated Arsène Wenger’s side 2-1 in September. Of course, this is not enough to actually get the team thrown out of the competition, because this apparently requires two people to have positive test results, as ridiculous as that sounds.

How can organisations such as UEFA not realize that the only way to stop cheating is maybe to threaten the innocent as well as the guilty, and ban teams from their competitions? The authorities appear to have struggled by other means.

Ultimately, it’s time for sport to wake up. The widespread allegations of doping have become ridiculous, and sport itself will go into decline if these organisations do not do something about it.

Manchester to be carbon neutral by 2050

Written by Andy van den Bent-Kelly on . Posted in News, Science & Tech.

Manchester, along with several other British cities, will be run entirely on green energy by 2050, in a bid by the council to totally eradicate carbon emissions.

More than 50 Labour-run councils across the country, including Liverpool, Leeds, Glasgow and Edinburgh, have signed the pledge, which was organised by the Shadow Energy and Climate Change Secretary, Lisa Nandy.

It is hoped that by introducing totally green transport, scrapping gas heating in homes nationwide and installing efficient insulation in residences, the UK’s total carbon footprint will be cut by ten per cent.

Manchester has already made advances in these key areas, with a whole host of eco-friendly buses currently running throughout the city. Now, the council wants to build on these developments.

The leader of Manchester City Council, Sir Richard Leese, said that the transition would happen “through acts of leadership by the many, not the few.”

He added: “We are taking action to show a completely clean energy future is both viable and within reach within the course of a generation.”

It is intended that the pledges made by these councils will inspire mayoral candidates in London to declare support for these plans; several Labour boroughs in the capital have already expressed their intentions to follow suit.

The move comes at an appropriate time, with the 2015 United Nations Climate Change Conference due to begin on November the 30th in Paris. Ahead of these hugely important talks, cities across the world have made similar pledges, including New York, Copenhagen and Sydney.

The pledge itself says: “We have the ambition of making all our towns and cities across the UK 100 per cent clean before 2050, in line with the commitments made nationally and internationally at the Paris summit.

“We hope other towns and cities across the globe will join us to demonstrate that this transition will happen through acts of leadership by the many, not the few, and that a transition to a clean energy future is both viable and already beginning to happen in many towns and cities today. Our UK towns and cities are committed to making a better future for all.”

The initiative showcases the benefits that a Labour government could have for the environment. The current Conservative regime has severely cut subsidies for renewable energy sources, but according to Nandy, the opposition’s intentions are drastically different.

“Where Labour is in power we will push for a clean energy boom even if the government will not,” she said.

“Ministers say they support devolution to our towns and cities so they should back these council leaders by ending their attack on the schemes that can help to make this safer, cleaner future a reality.”