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Day: 22 November 2016

The Crown

“Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown” from Shakespeare’s Henry IV, Part 2 seems an apt starting point for this review. Not only does this quote demonstrate the symbolic and literal weight that rests upon the head of Queen Elizabeth II, but it also resembles the apprehension amongst Netflix executives ahead of release of The Crown. Following the pop culture success of recent shows like Stranger Things, Netflix are now acutely aware that original content is the provider’s greatest selling point.

Regardless of this, one can not diminish the fact that Netflix’s investment into The Crown is still a high risk gamble. With a budget of £100 million — a figure more associated with that of a tent pole summer blockbuster — The Crown represents a landmark moment in the shift towards TV streaming.

This same poignancy in moments is also poetically the main thematic core of the show, as the conceit of The Crown is to shed light and provide insight into the key touchstones at the beginning of the reign of Queen Elizabeth II. The viewer watches as a young Elizabeth inherits the throne in an untimely manner and must come to grips with the complexities of her new role. She soon learns the harsh reality that her responsibilities as Queen must always come first, above her natural duties as a mother and as a wife.

Inevitably this leads to growing conflicts amongst family members, which allows the show to humanise the Royal family, in order to make them as relatable as possible. At first it may seem far-fetched to seek a connection between the viewer and a Sovereign, but The Crown truly excels in accentuating the personal relations between these immortal figures.

This attempt to instil a deep sense of humanity is most evident in King George VI, played by Jared Harris, who gives a jewel of a performance. He presents a man riddled with pride, but also love for his family and country. His imprint and early guidance for Elizabeth have a profound and long lasting impact on her Monarchy which imbue the early episodes with a beating heart.

Elizabeth herself, played by a fresh faced Claire Foy, does her best to convey the growing strength of a woman constantly questioned and moulded by others. And Matt Smith gives his best work post Doctor Who as the perennially reluctant Prince Philip. On the disappointing end of the scale however, John Lithgow never fully convinces as Prime Minister Winston Churchill. The seasoned American actor always seemed a peculiar choice for the role and despite the best efforts of the hair and make-up team, it is impossible to see beyond the cosmetics.

With the lavish sets, opulent dresses and gorgeous cinematography it is clear the costly budget has been put to effective use. Historic sites like Westminster Abbey, 10 Downing Street and Buckingham Palace seem entirely authentic. The attention to detail by the costume and production designers allow for an immersive fly on the wall experience of post-war Britain.

The show is also exquisitely well written by its creator Peter Morgan, who has previous experience in bringing past events to life, being the writer of The Queen. Morgan manages to elicit unexpected drama from matters of royal etiquette and courtly protocol. Nevertheless there are intimate moments of The Crown which are more fascinating on their own than the series as a whole. As a result the show does suffer from pacing issues and can test the engagement of its audience. Ultimately this first series may not be the crowning achievement Netflix were aspiring for, but it comes awfully close to ruling them all.

Album: Leonard Cohen — You Want It Darker

Released 21st October via Colombia

9/10

In hindsight, You Want It Darker seems like the most appropriate album title of Cohen’s work. With his roster including Songs of Leonard Cohen, Songs of Love and Hate and Popular Songs, Cohen has never felt the need for grandiose titles. Yet, You Want It Darker is in keeping with his dark sense of humour, almost begging you to call his bluff. You want it darker? Well, do you?

The album is stripped back, with Cohen’s rasping voice front and centre. It has only eight tracks — nine if you count a reprise — and lasts a mere thirty-five minutes. Despite its brevity, this album still manages to be an intense experience. Cohen has always been a very spiritual man with one foot on stage and the other in the pulpit, but this is especially so here.

The opening title track, backed by a sorrowful choir, feels like a funeral. Singing the chorus in Hebrew, “Hineni, hineni (“Here I am”), I’m ready my Lord”, you get the sense of what the album is going to be about. Overall, Cohen has produced yet another album of beautiful lyrics about faith, love and loss. They stand up to deep analysis, yet can also be enjoyed on a first listen; the beautiful couplets he rattles, as ever, simply draw you in.

Despite Cohen recording his vocals in his living room due to ill health, including several broken vertebrae incurred over his final five years on the road, you could never tell. The production of Patrick Leonard and Cohen’s son Adam is simple yet stellar: blues song ‘On The Level’ feels like a Southern Baptist hymn, propelled by piano arpeggios, an electric organ and a choir. ‘Leaving The Table’ is a lullaby played on Cohen’s standard flamenco guitar, contrasting beautifully with the rich darkness of his voice. ‘Travelling Light’ flows on sad mandolin and optophone work, yet manages to seek in light drum machines without being distracting from the lyrics.

In many ways, You Want It Darker is a bittersweet experience. Though his final record, Cohen has been saying farewell his entire career (see: ‘Suzanne’, ‘So Long, Marianne’ and ‘Hallelujah’). This may not be the best album of 2016, or even of Cohen’s career, but it’s certainly up there. Even so, it does not need to be. It acts as an epilogue — a perfect bookend to an exceptional body of work.

Conspiracy theories take centre stage

The recent US election saw the conspiracy theorists come out to play. Two online purveyors of such theories were Infowars and Breitbart News. The latter enlightened us with revelations with articles such as ‘Racist, Pro-Nazi Roots of Planned Parenthood Revealed’, while the post-truth hub that is Infowars is now ‘suggested’ by Google before the word ‘information’.

Infowars‘ main man, Alex Jones, played the role of “Barking Object No. 1” in the Donald Trump nativity play. He would have offered Trump some frankincense were it not for his belief that Obama added mind control chemicals to it. That last statement is pure fantasy, Infowars has merely said that food, water and air contain mind-controlling chemicals.

You may remember when Alex Jones shouted about the second amendment so obnoxiously on CNN that Piers Morgan metamorphosed into a decent person. In the presidential election, the Infowars leader was concerned that Hillary Clinton had connections with an artist called Marina Abramavić who uses blood and gruesome imagery in some of her pieces. This, Jones suggested, meant that Hillary Clinton performed satanic rituals and could speak to the dead. He then concluded that these were actually paedophilic satanic rituals, citing images of Marina Abramavić’s art instillations as evidence.

Many are allured by this wondrous combination of complexity and simplicity. The ease of simply saying ‘NO!’ to mainstream media provides a welcome break from actually having to analyse current affairs — it is time-saving and feels revolutionary. The subsequent complexity of the theories may initially mystify, but soon acts to heighten the intrigue. Before bewilderment starts to push the audience back over to the mainstream narrative, they are reminded that instead of getting bogged down in details all they need to do is say ‘NO!’ and the United States is one step closer to being saved.

Conspiracy theories have been a prominent feature of modern political discourse, especially thanks to the birth and growth of the internet. The magnitude of the event often determines the amount of theories which run counter to the central explanatory narrative. In the case of 9/11, the surreal horror reached such extraordinary levels that it came into intense conflict with people’s minds. “It was an inside job”, naturally. But also, “did you hear that no planes were used? And don’t forget that those shape-shifting reptilian overlords had a scaly hand-claw or two in the disaster”.

The moon landing, going back further, similarly reached beyond conceivable norms in its beauty. Just as terrorist attacks have the unreality of a hideous nightmare, so too did the moon landing have a dreamlike quality. The two towers fell to the ground, one after the other; two human feet dropped down the surface of the moon, one after the other. These seemingly unreal occasions demanded the questioning of the conspiracy theorists.

This argument pays respects to Adam Curtis, whose melodramatic collage poetry shows us that it is not only the alt-right who equates volume of Wikipedia tabs to validity of argument. Perhaps my research into conspiracy theorists has itself taken on the qualities of a conspiracy theory. Perhaps — to be read in Adam Curtis’ voice — that is precisely the point.

Some needed the extravagance of the moon landing to question reality. For David Icke, on the other hand, the moon itself is too far-fetched. So, keen not to be fooled by the government or the moon, he locked himself in his study with an empty pin board. Within a month it was covered with odd scraps of paper, maps, pictures of Egyptian pyramids, and mirrors reflecting his face. These were all connected with a piece of string which signified logic. He emerged with the answer: the moon is a spacecraft.

Like ineffectual game-show hosts, these people do not accept the first answer they are given, or the second, or the third. When we walk down the street, we only perceive the surface level appearance. Those, however, with such a divinely-appointed visionary gaze, just like William Blake, look at what we think of as reality — a person driving by in a car or a collection of ants carrying a tiny bit of leaf — and their mind is at once awash with images, quotes, numbers, statistic-based graphics, and everything starts making sense.

In a neat summary of his research process, Alex Jones recently declared: “I’ve known for a long time from sources what the Clintons are into and basically, if you can imagine it, they’re into it.” But to read his words is not to experience the full force of his sentiments, which only come alive when you listen to his tortured voice. It is loud, angry, carnivalesque. He screams, he cries, he snorts. It all seems so hideous and nightmarish, almost to the point of unreality. In many ways, Alex Jones is precisely the embodiment of every kind of event that a good conspiracy theorist must not accept at face value.

And indeed as Trump thanked him for his help in the election victory, it appears Alex Jones is becoming the insider. Meanwhile executive chairman of Breitbart News Steve Bannon is now Trump’s chief strategist. These are no longer outsider conspiracy theorists. If we are not careful, this will be mainstream media.

Denim Daze: How to select the ideal pair of jeans

Everyone dreads entering the store with the objective of selecting the “perfect” pair of jeans. It is an investment, you want them to be versatile, durable and fashionable. So what do you go for?

We are all guilty in thinking that skinny, spray on jeans are the ultimate pair, they ooze sex appeal and versatility (especially when covered with rips on knees and the upper thigh).  However, it seems they are not the ideal fit for each body type.When investing in good quality denim, you want to be able to integrate them into your daily wardrobe essentials. Jeans are the most versatile, coveted piece in everyday wear.

1) The spray on skinny. Attention grabbing and a pair that would flaunt your glutes that you have worked so hard on when squatting in the gym. This style is ideal for a slender pair of legs especially teamed with toned, lean calves. Embellished, ripped or dyed, the options are endless. Team this style of jeans with boots that accentuate your legs and inject sex appeal to any outfit.

 

Photo: topman.co.uk

2)    The flare. Most Recently, Roberto Cavalli and J Brand denim have backtracked to the 70s with their dark washed, flared denim pants. Brands are lusting for past trends and reinventing them to keep them contemporary. If you want to channel a Sonny and Cher Vibe, the flare is not flawed. With boots, this killer piece will exaggerate curves and an hourglass silhouette. Adorned with beads, tassels or the occasional motif, this pair is a reminder of the fashionable past. Grab a pair and make like the Bee Gees and channel the 70s disco vibe.

3)    The boyfriend jean. Scoring highly on the hipster scale, this jean is ideal rolled to the ankles with a loose fit that mimics a loose looking jogging pant. Rips on the light denim are key in exuberating a “got out of bed” look. This pair does not flaunt the silhouette, it is just worn straight and loose. Typically styled low on the waist, this pair is an ideal complement to a pair of slick white of Adidas sneakers.

 

 

Photo: topshop.co.uk

 

4)    The straight jean. Some despise the tightness of a skinny jean. For those who appreciate the sexiness of a skinny pair but don’t want the skin tight feel, then the straight jean is the perfect compromise. A form of the skinny jean, it accentuates the lower physique and is an impeccable garment to team with a high top trainer or a classic timberland boot. What makes this jean different to the skinny fit is the looser area that surrounds the crotch and lower waist. Slightly more comfortable to crazily dance in, this pair won’t be a victim to unwanted rips.

Album: Roman Flügel – All The Right Noises

Released 28th October via Dial Records

8/10

All The Right Noises is Frankfurt based producer Roman Flügel’s third album to be released on Dial Records. Yet don’t expect a continuation of the dense and fulfilling rhythms found in tracks like ‘Wilkie’ from his 2014 release Happiness Is Happening. You will be thwarted in the displaced and negated soundscape of Flügel’s new album.

“This time I took decisions faster leaving things unperfected when I thought the general feeling was right just to keep the music more vital,” says Flügel of the album.

In the polyrhythmic ‘Dead Idols’, drum machines and chirping melodies mix and dissipate beneath ambient sounds. Rhythms clash at different speeds and cut off before they can fully develop.

Flügel says of the album that he was “searching for ways to paint audible pictures without actually singing or saying a word.” In ‘Nameless Lakes’, these images are actionist vistas of glacial mountains, valleys, fireworks and electric bolts plunging into limitless depths.

The stand out track of the album is the eponymous ‘All The Right Noises’. In it the dislocated rhythms, pervasive throughout the album, are held together in a taut and cogent whole by the guitar sounds. Likewise, ‘Dead Idols’ and ‘Warm And Dewy’ spin out displaced and abrasive rhythms in enchantingly fickle, snaking trajectories — yet neither track manages to unify them.

The biggest nod to Happiness Is Happening comes in the intro of the album’s closing track ‘Life Tends To Come And Go’. Its buoyant, digitalised rhythms are reminiscent of those in ‘We Have A Nice Life,’ from Flügel’s 2014 album. However, whereas in the older track these rhythms cede themselves to more animated ones, in ‘Life Tends To Come And Go’ they fade into an ambient generator sound, punctuated unsettlingly by spirited piano notes.

With his latest release, Flügel has undoubtedly created an album in which every aspect is vital. That said, without the energy of Happiness Is Happening, All The Right Noises’ tautness can leave you yearning afterwards for the moment it could have unfurled itself, especially in tracks like ‘Believers’ where silences negate the soundscape further. It is an album which functions best when listened to back to back. Then the estranging displacement of individual songs can be overcome, through perceiving their nuanced and persistently ambiguous connections.

Roman Flügel plays Mosaic by Maceo at The Warehouse Project on Saturday 26th November.

How to: Optimise men’s grooming

Men’s grooming has grown increasingly popular ever since the rise of social media super apps like Snapchat and Instagram. So what is men’s Grooming and how can one optimize their grooming regime?

In the narcissistic world of the 21st Century men’s grooming has become all the rage. The best grooming regimes are those that are simple. Grooming is easy and can be followed in five tiers.

Tier 1.

It is about keeping things clean with your skincare. Start by making sure you are washing your face with a suitable facewash depending on your skin type and concern. So those who want to banish acne, use an anti-blemish face wash or if you have an oily t-zone, use a foaming facewash to get into your pores.

Tier 2.

Is all about grooming your facial hair. For instance, if you have a beard ensure that it is even and trimmed. Using either an electric razor or men’s shaver depending on your personal preference. Be sure to clean up loose hairs on the face. If this is too complicated, then take an inexpensive trip to the barbers.

Tier 3.

It’s all about your hair. Ensure washing your hair with a suitable shampoo and conditioner and combing your hair after your shower. If you have a hairstyle that involves you using a wax or product, ensure it is the right one. Try and invest in  hair gel or clay as the cheaper products contain a plethora of ingredients and chemicals that are not suitable for your hair — some may even cause damage. Respectable brands that I would definitely recommend are Wella System Professional Products, Sebastian Hair Care and of course AVEDA men’s grooming products.

Tier 4.

Maintain a neat appearance of extremities such as the hands and feet. Ensure nails are cut to a desirable length for some, this step may be unnecessary to some, however as an advocate of Men’s grooming, this step is crucial.

Tier 5.

Scent. Being well groomed is not only about maintaining a clean beard or ensuring that your hair is washed but your overall cleanliness can go a very long way indeed! Especially when it comes to your scent. Be sure to find a scent that is you, with a wide array of fragrances out there, find the perfect match and always spray yourself on the upper part of your neck and your wrists to ensure the scent lasts for longer. All in all, if you manage to follow these simple tiers you will be able to be the well-groomed gentleman you have always desired to be.

Review: Network

“I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore!”

Sidney Lumet’s 1976 satirical drama, Network, is arguably one of the 1970s’ most underrated gems, and it pleasantly surprised me in how alarmingly relevant and fantastically entertaining it is. This is not to say I was not expecting it to be good — it is allegedly one of Paul Thomas Anderson’s favourite films, after all — but before hearing it praised by the legendary There Will Be Blood, The Master and Punch-Drunk Love (to name but a few) director, I did not know an awful lot about it. It is a film that truly excited me on many different levels, so naturally I am incredibly glad it was brought to my attention.

The film’s premise is particularly intriguing, following the cultural phenomenon which ensues following a news broadcast issued by the titular TV ‘network’, Union Broadcasting System, during which the show’s leading anchor Howard Beale begins to ramble erratically about his plans to commit suicide live on the next episode of the show, on the brink of his retirement. Keen to capitalise on the skyrocketing ratings the show garners as a result of Howard’s unprecedented popularity, UBS finds itself embroiled in a complex web of conflicted morals, some members more so than others.

In the middle of it we find Howard’s longtime friend and network president, Max Scumacher, who appears to oscillate between condemning the exploitation of Howard’s apparent mental instability, and pursuing his own interests, namely in the form of his cutthroat colleague, Diana (Faye Dunaway), who ardently purports Howard’s ramblings as a potentially lucrative segment of the show. Much of this film’s enjoyment comes from Faye Dunaway’s gloriously sociopathic performance in this role, with her ruthless delivery completely stealing the limelight and adding a tangible feeling of electricity to every scene she appears in.

Peter Finch’s highly-charged performance as Howard Beale is excellent, creating a constant sense of suspense as to what each of his energetic, nihilistic, anti-establishment live rants will consist of. These infamous broadcasts, as well as the film’s explosive ending, culminate in a fascinating satirical commentary on sensationalised journalism, and the exploitative media, which is perhaps more relevant than ever in the increasingly uncertain and tumultuous world we live in.

If you are familiar with the work of Paul Thomas Anderson it is not difficult to see why Network influenced his style so heavily. Its relentless pace, ensemble cast and the lens through which it examines the murky inner workings of a seemingly glamorous industry are all very characteristic of PTA, highlighting just how seminal Network is.

Its message rings ever clear, brought to life by a screenplay which is both dry and cutting. The troublesome relationship between Max and Diana was of particular interest to me in the latter section of the film. Max’s brusque but truthful condemnation of Diana’s fixation with success and the soulless and uncaring brutality of the television industry is completely enrapturing, as he brands her a “humanoid” who is ultimately on her way to being “destroyed” like so many of her colleagues.

In Network, Sidney Lumet has created an exhilarating and masterfully dark satire of the news, its production and its consumption. Its memorable performances, timeless morals and scathing humour makes for a viewing experience which is not easily forgotten.

The festive deadlines fear

Christmas is a time of merry gatherings with friends and family, wandering endlessly around the festive markets, and snuggling up on an evening with a cup of hot chocolate whilst watching Home Alone. However, the cheeriness of the festive season can be severely sacrificed in order to complete assignments, meet deadlines, revise for exams, and in most cases, work a part-time job alongside your studies.

It is so easy to lose the excitement and fun of Christmas when the weight of university stress is on your shoulders, just as it is very easy to neglect your academic responsibilities when festive celebrations are offered to you on a plate every single day. Fear not, there are ways that you can enjoy the magic of the run up to Christmas as well as meet those dreaded deadlines and everything else that you have going on in your hectic life.

Planning is essential when it comes to delegating your time to different areas of your life. You need to organise what you need to do, when you are going to do it, and then stick to it. Keeping an up to date diary is extremely useful, but a standard page to page diary does not let you see what plans and deadlines that you have coming up far into the future. My academic year planner that I have pinned on my bedroom wall is a saviour, and it allows me to see what I have planned for the year ahead with just one quick glance. You can buy these in Rymans for less than £5 plus student discount — a valuable investment and a blatant bargain.

The saying ‘work hard, play hard’ could not be more fitting for this particular dilemma. I can guarantee you will enjoy that Christmas social with your friends ten times more if you know that you have achieved something with your academic work before you head out. Whether it is completing an essay plan, writing a section of your assignment, or even reading a few chapters of your seminar work, you will feel much more free and relaxed knowing that you have accomplished something beforehand.

That being said, you must not feel as though having a social life and participating in leisurely activities is a luxury. Delegating time into your weekly schedule to meet up with friends, to go shopping, or to even have a Netflix binge from the comfort of your own bed is just as important as delegating time to work on your assignments. You need to allow yourself time to unwind and to recharge in order to maintain a healthy mind and body. Do not feel guilty for allowing yourself to have ‘free time’ because it is essential, not optional.

So make a plan and stick with it. You do not want to miss out on that festive cheer, just as much as you don not want to miss out on achieving the grades that you deserve.

How to: Style your hair

From childhood, through puberty, to this very day I have loved my hair. I entered the world with  a full head of ginger hair and have always embraced the colourful hue my head produces. When I was younger I never endured the playground bullying many fellow redheads, my brother included, were subject to.

This may be because the I had some interesting ideas of how to ‘style’ my hair, and style it I did! Four buns randomly placed on my head -perfect! Multicoloured plait extension – threw ’em in! I just had a desire to play with hair. Lucky for my mum she was also included in the hair play, her classic early 2000’s mum crop (sorry mum) was subject to whatever hair accessories I could throw in there.

All this served me in good use as the years went by: straighteners, rollers, curling tongs, curling wands, french braids, dutch braids, crown braids, milkmaid braids give me a try and I’ll figure it out. My day to day hair is never extravagant, I have an abundance of fly-aways and baby hairs that require a lot of hairspray to be tamed, but when there is an occasion I am your gal for hairstyling.

Now, all this serves as the pretext for my hairstyling advise. It is a culmination of experimentation, magazine articles and YouTube — take it how you please.

Let us start at the beginning, washing your hair, or more specifically conditioning your hair. I have quite soft hair that is prone to greasiness, so as a rule of thumb I only ever condition from the ear lobe to the end of my hair. It minimises grease and keeps ends looking healthy. I know this is not universally applicable but the general consensus from the fair haired among us is that this keeps hair looking and feeling at its best.

Always use a heat protector when drying or putting any heat on your hair, it will help to fight the spilt ends. The key thing I have learnt from the years of toying with my hair, is that products do make all the difference, they can sometimes be expensive but that is what maintains photo worthy, weather resistant hair.

For straight or sleek looks use a hair oil, the best is definitely Moroccan oil, however it will cost you a weeks food shopping. When it comes to curls, waves or more dishevelled looks put a small, and I mean small, quantity of mouse in your hair before styling, too much will give you crispy hair — no one wants that. Post heat treatment the product you use depends on the look you are after. My general logic is to run my fingers through my hair to break up the curls if I want to look a bit messy or lightly brush them together if I want something more glam and vintage.

The holy grail of all hair care in my opinion is Elnett hairspray. I am and will be forever obsessed with the stuff. No matter what you do to your hair, add some Elnett if you want it to last, plus for hairspray it smells quite pleasant.

That is all the advise I have to offer on how to style your hair, with emphasis on the Elnett.

 

The return of the Christmas markets

For anyone who has been out and about in Manchester city centre , there would have been no missing the tinselled eruption of the 2016 Manchester Christmas markets. For the Christmas market enthusiasts the return may have been eagerly anticipated, with a frenzied dash down to Albert Square to knock back that first gluhwein of the season. For others the return may have been a cause for exasperated eye rolling, frustrated sighing, and angry mutterings of Bah Humbug.

For many new to Manchester, the sudden outbreak of merriment and seasonal cheer may be a source of excitement, intrigue, or perhaps even bewilderment. Whatever your stance on the Christmas markets, their wide spread city invasion means that resistance is futile, so you might as well buckle up and enjoy the (sleigh) ride.

Manchester market veterans will be pleased to see the return of many of the same popular stalls, the location of which can largely be found in the same spots as last year. Following a long strip of stalls down Brazenose Street, you arrive at Albert Square, the mothership of the Christmas markets, home to the largest number of stalls, with its giant Santa overseeing the hustle and bustle from his perch at the entrance to the Town Hall.

The Old Windmill Bar is located at the main entrance to the square but tempting as it may be to pounce at the first chance of a festive drink, exploring a little further may prove rewarding. Amongst the huge array of small bars there can be found both alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks, selections of flavoured mulled wine, coffees and hot chocolate with optional liqueurs, and even a prosecco and cocktail bar for those feeling fancy. Most bars require a deposit for the cup so be sure to hang on to it if you want your money back. For those seeking a slightly quieter location to enjoy a drink there are several outdoor bars scattered across the city centre, all open till 9pm. King Street’s Bistrot Petit le Paris and The Mill Exchange in Exchange Square are often considerably less packed, and if you want a really personal experience you can head down to Spinningfields to book a private bar booth at Bar Hutte.

As usual the food game is strong with a range of world cuisines and European food stalls. Free samples of food are easy to come by, particularly at the cheese stands. For those with a sweet tooth, the Christmas markets offer enough sweet treats to make Augustus Gloop and Bruce Bogtrotter scream for mercy. Waffles, pancakes, crepes, and strudels are available in plentiful portions with a huge variety of toppings and fillings. Cupcakes, cookies, truffles, and slabs of chocolate the size of your head can be bought as gifts or to be enjoyed there and then.

Several stalls this year listed options for various dietary requirements, including gluten and dairy free biscuits and sugar free jam for diabetics. For vegetarians and vegans, the markets may seem a little meat heavy, however, the pop-up Vegan Christmas Fair will be taking place on the weekends of the 9th and 16th of December in Cross Street Chapel.

Many of the market locations host similar stalls selling the usual Christmas gift suspects of hats, scarves, decorations and scented candles but for those in search of something a little different, both Spinningfields and Exchange Street offer a host of arts and craft stalls for more unique gift ideas including handmade jewellery, art prints and even a doggy bakery.

While week nights are quieter, you should always be prepared for a busy one. For the intrepid Christmas market explorer, just remember to take it easy, go with the flow, and don’t stress. When it comes to the Christmas markets, those wanting to do a bit of Christmas shopping should probably try to avoid doing anything last minute or in a hurry. Grab a drink to walk round with, don’t rush yourself (you won’t be able to get anywhere fast anyway!), relax, and enjoy the Christmas madness.

Eddie Jones’ England go ten games unbeaten with win against South Africa

England’s 37-21 win over South Africa at the weekend was the crucial next step in the remarkable ascendance of English rugby since the dismal showing at their own World Cup a year ago.

Ten games they have now gone unbeaten since Eddie Jones was appointed manager in November 2015 and it is testament to his management techniques that not once have they looked like they were going to lose. The win against South Africa was particularly important for the Eddie Jones revolution as it demonstrated England’s consistency in matching up to the best teams in the World.

England had not beaten South Africa since 2006 and their opponents were becoming somewhat of a bogey team. The winning mentality that Jones’ has instilled into the players means they no longer fear teams such as Australia and South Africa, dispatching of them one after the other.

Importantly, Jones has recognised that a complete overhaul of the squad who showed so poorly in the 2015 Rugby World Cup was ultimately not necessary and would have been notably damaging. Key decisions such as retaining Chris Robshaw in the starting line up but stripping him of his captaincy and shifting him to his more natural position of blind side flanker, have meant he can perform much more effectively and play more freely knowing his true role.

Jones has also shown a ruthlessness and decisiveness where previous head coaches have not. Often in previous years the back line has rarely functioned effectively due to indecision and thus constant juggling over the best centre pairings, half back pairings and the type of wingers desired.

Settling on a half back pairing of Ben Youngs and George Ford with Owen Farrell as a second distributor and kicking option at inside centre has allowed the back line stability, a more creative and cohesive attacking platform, as well as a calmness in decision making. Jones has been ruthless in not selecting Chris Ashton, Danny Cipriani and Christian Wade, deeming Wade and Ashton too fragile in defence. The pairing of George Kruis and Maro Itoje have added fresh faces to the squad, with Itoje developing as a powerful and athletic world class second row.

The win over South Africa more than anything confirmed the effectiveness of Jones’ new playing style against the very best. Years gone by England have looked disorganised in attack, over-complicating plays, running lines and forcing passes that were not on. Against South Africa, England’s attacking play was simple, sharp and effective as everyone knew their role and executed it perfectly.

England’s first try from Jonny May was simple in its choreography: number eight Billy Vunipola acted as first receiver, which has become increasingly common, as both centres Farrell and Daly ran similar hard dummy lines, taking three of South Africa’s defenders out of the game, before the ball was shifted behind them and down the line, each player drawing his man as May was put in in the corner — simple move with superb execution. Their second try evoked a similar simplicity but of a different nature. England had retained possession in deep in their own half as the ball was spun wide to Daly with the clear aim of utilising his left boot to gain territory.

Jones’ England possess a much calmer mentality for decision making; if something is not on, use the boot to gain territory and makes things messy for the opposition. The second try demonstrated this theory perfectly as Daly’s kick remained infield and England’s players showed desire to chase the kick down and spoil the South African recovery. After a few South African fumbles, Courtney Lawes capitalised on the poor handling to touch down.

Another profound improvement initiated by Jones has been England’s fitness levels. Jeremy Guscott has remarked that: “one of the things [Jones] will have told them is that they won’t be great players unless they get fitter. So the players have listened and got fitter”. Ben Youngs was told that he was overweight when Jones took over. England’s last two tries against South Africa exemplified the improvement in Young’s fitness levels but also demonstrated the fitness work done on the training ground regarding support running. For the third try and the fourth, Youngs certainly showed a spring in his step to accelerate away from the ruck in order to create space to dummy and break the line.

On both occasions there were a number of support runners backing him up and in the end both were easy tries thanks to simple, effective combinations. An area Jones is still in the early stages of improving is England’s defensive organisation and discipline. In the summer series in Australia, they conceded more tries than they scored and in the game against South Africa England conceded two tries and a number of penalties. England need to tighten up in these areas but Jones insists there is still improvements to be made and England can get a lot better.

Eddie Jones’ distinct winning mentality means he never settles for anything but the very best of his players, always believing a win is achievable and that England can only get better. This has undoubtedly rubbed off on the players with every game they play in evoking a stern confidence in their play. Jones also has a peculiarly authoritative and intimidating managerial aura. The players know that they must perform under him or else risk being dropped and harshly told they are not good enough, such as with Tom Wood. Yet, rarely do they perform poorly under him as his ruthless and authoritative style bring out the best in the players.

It seems England’s ascendance under Eddie Jones can only continue.

How to: ensure your make-up lasts

It is a struggle to keep your makeup looking as good as it did when you first applied it, by the time you have had it on a few hours your coverage is already fading. So, what is the secret to long lasting makeup?

Primer is the ultimate product to ensure your makeup withstands the general everyday exposure to the elements. Primer is the answer to all of your long lasting makeup dreams. It is futile to even bother applying your foundation if you haven’t first covered your skin in a layer of this product.

Firstly, primer minimizes the visibility of pores by sealing them and therefore providing greater coverage, whilst also giving your skin a smooth and velvety complexion that is as lust worthy in real life as it is on Instagram. As well as transforming your skin to luminous loveliness, primer also acts as a shield against natural elements that would usually cause your foundation to wear off.

Although, it may seem like a rather pointless and expensive buy, when surely you would much rather be spending your pennies on a fab new eye shadow, its benefits are unparalleled. On a day when I need my makeup to last, I generously apply primer before my foundation knowing that my makeup will look as fresh at 9pm as it did 9am. Despite being super expensive, the Laura Mercier foundation primer is the best on the market. It has a creamy but lightweight consistency and a luminous quality that leaves your skin looking radiant. It can be worn alone as a skin pick me up, but worn under foundation it gives your skin a subtle glow. It is a bit of an investment at £29.00, however one tube will last you a while. A must have product for your Christmas list.

www.lauramercier.com

Whilst primer for your skin is essential if you want your coverage to remain fresh, eye shadow primer is necessary for the smoky eye lovers out the there. Mac’s Prep and Prime 24-Hour extend eye base revolutionised my smoky eye routine. After watching a short demonstration from a Mac girl, I was sold on this product and it became irreplaceable in my eye shadow prep. Not only does it make my eye shadow last from dusk until dawn, it also brings out the pigment in my favourite products. This primer works especially well with glitter eye shadows and really makes them sparkle. Once this primer is applied the colour on the eyelids is so much deeper and incomparable to what the shade looks like without it. Try it and you won’t regret it. (£16.00)

www.maccosmetics.co.uk

The final key to long lasting makeup is setting spray. Once you have completely finished your makeup, simply spray your whole face 2-4 times. My favourite product is the Urban Decay All Nighter setting spray. The weightless formula ensures that your makeup lasts for up to 16 hours, keeping your contour and smoky eye firmly in place. What’s great about this product is that it prevents your makeup from cracking or fading but allows your skin to breathe, creating a beauty look that lasts. (£22.00)

www.urbandecay.co.uk

Whether you have a long day at University or work or just want your makeup to last for a night out, then these products have got you covered.

Alternative ways to celebrate your birthday

For those of us not hugely thrilled at the thought of a night out, coming up with ways to celebrate your birthday can be tricky. Nights out for most are fun, spontaneous, not massively costly, and easy to organise, all things hugely appreciated by university students. So, transferring these qualities to another activity can be tricky when you are keen to get as many involved for your birthday as would be game for a night at Factory.

For those with winter birthdays, especially living in Manchester, it is likely an indoor activity will be better received. Go Air Manchester is an indoor trampoline park located just east of the city, and although perhaps targeted at younger audiences (the woman on the other end of the phone asked if my ‘group’ were all ‘under tens’), it can still be a laugh for those of us not ready to accept we are in our twenties. It is only £5 an hour per person and a great way to break any ice between friends who don’t know each other.

Junkyard Golf is a crazy golf course located opposite Piccadilly train station in town and offers players the chance to have a few rounds of crazy golf in an array of differently themed courses. There are bars and music throughout the courses and each route has been decorated with scraps from charity shops and car boot sales to ensure a wacky and weird time. Super reasonable again, a round of a course will cost you just under £10, booking fees included. A great way to celebrate your birthday without breaking the bank!

For summer babies I am sure we are all well aware how stunning Platt Fields can be on a warm(ish) summer’s day, but if the built-up foam saturated with litter at the edges of the pond and the fragrant smells of illegal activity don’t do it for you, try out Fletcher Moss Park in Didsbury.

Free bus journeys all round with your annual bus pass and amazingly no one charging at the gates, it is a little green haven away from our usual stomping grounds of Fallowfield. It is the perfect spot for a picnic with a group of friends. Grab your WiFi speakers that usually accommodate pre drinks, some bath towels (since we are just not at a place where we would own a picnic rug yet) some great Lidl deals, and you are good to go.

And there you have it, some easy, cheap, and fun ways to enter your adult years with only little resistance against your looming future.

Kyle Walker is developing into one of the best in his position

England’s 3-0 victory over old rival Scotland put them in a commanding position to qualify for the 2018 FIFA World Cup in Russia. Daniel Sturridge, Adam Lallana and Gary Cahill all scored headed goals as England dominated proceedings at Wembley and ended a turbulent year on a high.

The year 2016 has had ups and downs for England, but one of its major positives has been Kyle Walker. The Spurs full-back has impressed both club and country, making the right-back slot his own.

Walker has come a long way in the last three seasons,he has been one of the most improved players in the Premier League and has become an asset for both Spurs and England. His club manager Mauricio Pochettino has been instrumental in his development as he continues to evolve into one of the finest full-backs in Europe.

In September, Walker followed his England team-mates Eric Dier, Danny Rose and Dele Alli in pledging his long-term future to Spurs, signing a new five-year deal. Walker stated: “It’s like my second home and I’m happy to commit my future to Tottenham.”

His magnificent form for Spurs has helped him maintain his place in the England squad, but now he is firmly established as England’s first choice right-back and his performance against Scotland on Friday fully justified his selection. Walker was outstanding, and although Lallana won man of the match, the man from Sheffield ran him very close and could easily have picked up the award.

Throughout the game, Walker was a constant outlet on the right hand side. He provided England’s width, hogging the right touch line which allowed Lallana to drift infield and influence proceedings. Sturridge opened the scoring midway through the first half, meeting Walker’s inch perfect cross before second half goals from Lallana and Cahill sealed a routine win for the three lions.

At 26 years of age, Walker is now approaching the best years of his career and he is playing week in week out. In his development years however, he found it hard to pin down a permanent position in the Spurs and England XI’s.

When Harry Redknapp signed Walker for Spurs in 2009, he immediately loaned him back to his hometown club Sheffield United where he spent another season before going on loan again to Aston Villa a year later. Since his return to Spurs in 2011, Walker has been a permanent fixture in the team but in the last two seasons he has answered his critics emphatically.

Walker has always been a useful player offensively, but the defensive side of his game has often been questioned. However, his defending has improved remarkably and last season he was part of the joint best defence in the Premier League playing 33 games for Spurs. So far this season Walker has retained his position, playing all 11 of Spurs’ league games.

Over the past couple of seasons, Walker’s all-round play has been wonderful. Part of Pochettino’s high-energy game, Walker is a player who bases his game around energy as he is relentlessly up and down the right flank. Many aspects of his play are reminiscent of Juventus and Brazil right-back Dani Alves, who is widely regarded as one of the best full-backs of the modern generation.

Walker has not had his place in the Spurs and England defence put on a plate for him, he has held off stiff competition. In 2015, Pochettino splashed out £4 million to sign former-Burnley defender Kieran Trippier who has kept Walker on his toes and perhaps brought out the best in him. Trippier is no slouch, and when selected he rarely disappoints, but Walker’s excellent form is severely restricting Trippier’s game time.

At international level, Walker missed out on Roy Hodgson’s Euro 2012 squad selection and was overlooked again two years later for the FIFA World Cup in Brazil. Walker played second fiddle to former-Liverpool full-back Glen Johnson, but since 2014 he has held off competition from current Liverpool full-back Nathaniel Clyne and his consistently good performances have made him one of the main-stays in the England team in the past two years.

Euro 2016 may have been a disappointing campaign for England but Walker was arguably England’s star performer. In the aftermath of the tournament, England has played five games and Walker has played every minute of all of them.

With England continuously failing miserably in major tournaments, it is clear they have weaknesses. However, it is also clear they have strengths in the team and one major strength is the right-back position where Walker is showing the consistency and efficiency required to be one of the best in his position for many years to come.

 

Live: Local Natives

8th November at Academy 2

7/10

Local Natives are a band that understands silence. The very beginning of their show at Academy 2 was not a mess of noise, but a calmer introduction that flowed around the venue, tempting the audience’s ears to reach out to the breathy, airy, harmonies of the band’s three falsetto singers. As the drums dropped in, suddenly filling the empty space with the hyperactive booms of tom toms and the white noise of cymbals, every audience member snapped out of their now-unimportant conversation to listen to what the band had to say. They were right to listen.

The setlist spanned Local Natives’ three critically-acclaimed albums: Gorilla Manor (“an exuberant crazy time”, guitarist/vocalist Taylor Rice tells me), Hummingbird (“getting all these issues out of our system”) and this year’s Sunlit Youth (“full of optimism and hopefulness”). These albums are snapshots of the band at different points in their lives, and after their killer opening I wondered how they would pull these disparate moments into a cohesive show. My fears were dissolved by excellent use of staging and song choice that the band displayed.

Performing in a line with just the drummer behind gave equal importance to all members, neatly communicating Rice’s earlier claim that, “our band is such a democracy, not just one person’s vision; we have three singers, and three songwriters.” This approach was aided by the band’s onstage rapport; members interacted, chatted, and for a very personal performance of ‘Columbia’ stripped down to Rice and childhood friend/keyboardist Kelcey Ayer before slowly rebuilding as the song built up. The staging nicely divided up the disparate tones of the tracks, aided in part by the great song choices, using the sadder, quieter songs as breaks from the upbeat ones. This is what I mean when I say they understand silence, you cannot have huge tracks if there is no room for them to breathe.

One track — ‘Sunlight Youth’ — stood out from the rest, however, not only because of its positioning at the heart of the set but also because of its political subject matter, amplified by the oppressive subtext of that night’s US presidential election. The topic dominated not only the song, but also our earlier interview; Rice explained, “we had a dawning realisation that we have a microphone and a stage…there are things we have to address. I wish this election wasn’t about who had emails here, or who’s a sexist or a racist. I haven’t really been sleeping and it’s all we’ve been talking about; one of two different worlds is going to triumph tonight”.

One song — ‘Fountain of Youth’ — made their allegiance clear, with Rice singing: “I think we better listen to these kids”, meanwhile the usually lame lyrics: “I can’t keep pretending that I’m still asleep” resonated across the venue with cheers of “Hillary”. That comment summed up a large part of what Rice — and many Americans — have been going through: they are not just a divided and fighting nation, they are tired. The whole band seemed to emulate this, especially as the show was the last date of their UK tour. Towards the end of the gig, the finality of everything really started to hit home, as the bands emotional dreadnoughts started to rock the crowd.

As the gig wrapped up with a two-song encore and a closing promise to return to Manchester again, Local Natives appeared to be a more positive, close-knit  band than the one I saw two years ago at Latitude Festival. The band’s “West Coast Indie Rock” style may be less fashionable than when Gorilla Manor debuted in 2009, and their political messages seem childishly basic compared to acts like Run the Jewels, but it is hard to hate them, especially when the crowd is harmonising the vocal hook of ‘Who Knows Who Cares’ as the band leave the stage smiling.

As for Rice, and the nightmare-come-true election result he woke up to, I strangely have hope. One thing that struck me in the interview was his love of his home, California. Faced with the joke question: “What’s your favourite colour?”, he answered seriously, giving a long description of a mountainous view opposite the San Rafael Hills of LA. He described how he sat in his kitchen looking out and writing song after song. Even though he had used so many words, his answer was simple: home.

Album: A Tribe Called Quest – We Got it From Here…Thank You 4 Your Service

Released November 11th via Epic Records

8/10

Almost eight months after the heart-breaking news of the loss of legendary Tribe member Phife Dawg, A Tribe Called Quest have released the album that was always hoped for, but never expected. After over a decade of squabbles within the group, an off-the-bat performance of ‘Can I Kick It?’ on Jimmy Fallon set aside any differences between the Queensbridge quartet, bringing them together in Q-Tip’s custom made New Jersey studio. The new release not only contains raw and real Phife bars recorded before his passing, but features a host of the leaders of the new school.

Merely a quick gaze at the song titles on this heavily anticipated album proves that the group have not produced an outdated bunch of old school tracks. ‘We The People’, ‘Dis Generation’, ‘Conrad Tokyo’ and ‘Movin’ Backwards’ headline a track list that combats the prevalent issue of race relations in modern America, all released only a matter of days after the unprecedented election result that confirmed this album’s propriety. Q-Tip’s hypnotic hook in ‘We The People’ even directly satirises the Republican party and its views on ethnic minorities, combined with a creepy synthesised instrumental perhaps meant to reflect the very nature of the President-elect himself.

Track three ‘Whateva Will Be’ sees the return of the vintage Phife Dawg flow we have yearned to hear more of for so long. His first verse, and probably his most characteristic, sees Phife spit about what ‘the system’ in his country wants him to be despite him being the antithesis. A cocky Phife acknowledges his ‘fourth grade reading level’ but boasts his rhyming ability, all paying tribute to his life-long strong character, an attribute that is heralded continuously throughout this album by his group members and by the new rap figures who feature. Accompanied by the funky instrumentals that we heard so many times on The Low End Theory and Midnight Marauders, listeners will find it hard to believe that there was such a significant space of time between these releases. It is clear that, aside from the politics, the group have attempted to pay tribute to old school styles amidst an ever-changing rap industry, Phife being the focal point.

Deeper into the album, Q-Tip’s creative genius is boosted with features from Elton John and Jack White effectively incorporated, while still maintaining a signature Tribe style. Andre 3000’s contribution to ‘Kids…’ makes for an experimental vibe which may be loved by some and loathed by others. The features on this album also work to pay tribute to and push forward the new talent that exists in today’s rap game. Perhaps the most telling evidence of Q-Tip’s confidence in current Hip-Hop talent can be found in ‘Dis Generation’, with the legend rapping “Talk to Joey, Earl, Kendrick, Cole, gatekeepers of flow, they are extensions of instinctual soul.” This positivity is yet further bolstered by a song tailor-made for promising individual vocalist Anderson Paak, followed by a technical, well-delivered, and politically charged verse by people’s favourite Kendrick Lamar. In a time where confidence in the future of Hip-Hop is often a rarity, it is refreshing to hear raw new talent alongside those considered greats in the game.

This album acts as a time-capsule in detailing many aspects of Hip-Hop in 2016. It details the political volatility of the present-day United States and the ways that Hip-Hop combats this as a genre. Moreover, it identifies those who are seen as the cultural leaders of today’s rap game, coming from the mouths of those who developed the genre from its roots. Musically, it effectively combines techniques of production from old-school and new-school eras. But most inspirationally, this album pays tribute to an individual who was the spirit of the genre, and one of its most valuable assets: the late great Malik Taylor, a.k.a. Phife Dawg.

Review: The Full Monty

The Full Monty has come to Manchester over this winter period at the Manchester Opera House, and it is well worth the watch. Smutty, naughty, and still able to tug on the heartstrings, the Full Monty is both excellently acted and brilliantly produced.

Famous for TV roles in The Bill, Hollyoaks, and Dancing on Ice (the winner, don’t you know), Gary Lucy showed his experience in the role of main character, Gaz, in this performance. The squeaky high pitch character was hilarious and emotive throughout, as his relationship with Kai Owen on stage was believable. It felt as if the two Sheffield born characters had been friends for years – not that they were just two actors from Essex and Wales.

The whole show is performed in front of the same backdrop, with very few changes to the props around, but this does not take away from the experience. You soon begin to forget that the Conservative Club, garage, and home all look very similar.

Gaz is a jack-the-lad type of guy, who steals and sells his way through life, trying to earn enough money to look after his child who lives with his ex-wife. Gaz, however, is running out of money fast and sees an opportunity for him and his friends to make some money – stripping. The men in his team of male strippers vary from the rhythmically challenged, the old and decrepit, and the well-endowed. Filled with penis jokes galore, and some sexy (?) dancing, it is one definitely for the mums (although I would not suggest sitting next to your own mum), but I think that everyone on some level would enjoy this show.

There’s a few questionable accents throughout, but that is easily made up for with the hilarity of the show and dance numbers. However, it is not just filled with gags, as it also explores sexuality, body image, and how the working class of Sheffield, like many cities across the country, were hit by unemployment during Margaret Thatcher’s era.  All of the six men that become a group of strippers, do it through desperation after being stripped of their jobs as steal workers under the Tory government. We explore their battle with money, employment, and family dynamic.

Documentary picks of the week

Lo and Behold:  Reveries of the Connected World

Werner Herzog — whether in Jack Reacher or in Grizzly Man — will always serve a nasal Germanic expression of humanity’s true nature. The director’s movement away from fiction films towards documentary continues in his latest film Lo and Behold: Reveries of the Connected World. The film serves as an introspective look into the world of the internet from the standpoint of Herzog. What is achieved through this is a unique, non-biased view of the pros and cons of our digital age. The possibility of machines making films is something that is brought up in Lo and Behold, yet one thing is certain — they most definitely would not hold as much inventiveness and prominence as Herzog’s film catalogue.

 

Photo: BBC

 

Planet Earth II

Whether you are young or old, the great David Attenborough is indisputably the face and voice of natural wildlife documentary. His previous work in Planet Earth cemented his legendary status in the eyes of younger generations as possibly the greatest documentary zoologist to have ever lived. Airing 10 years after the original, Planet Earth II is the next logical evolution of the nature series. It is testament to the man himself that he has lived through so many technology and natural changes in the world and can still contribute significantly to a show of this status. What the series has already offered in just one episode is just short of breath-taking television. Forget King Kong vs Godzilla, the new monstrous fight is iguana vs snake. On a cold Sunday evening, there is no better way to wind down than witness some of Earth’s greatest spectacles narrated by one iconic voice.

Top 5: Studio Ghibli Films

5. Kiki’s Delivery Service

Turning thirteen for this witch is not just a celebration of becoming a teenager. Kiki must leave home like all young witches and embrace another city with her special talent for a year to begin her training. With her trusty sidekick, a talking cat Jiji, she travels to a delightful seaside town where the owner of a bakery allows her to stay in the annex. In return, Kiki uses her broom to deliver the baked goods and other items around the city. In a world where humans and witches interact happily, this film is a simple coming of age story where through trails and tribulations Kiki will find herself.

4. My Neighbour Totoro

Even if you haven’t seen this classic animation you will surely recognise its cuddly character Totoro. This story takes us through the lives of two young girls and their father as they move to an old enchanted house to live closer to their ill mother living in a hospital not far away. At the end of their house is a forest where the two sisters venture into and find these incredible creatures who will take them on spectaculor journeys and thrilling adventures, becoming the fascinating group of friends, you will all want to be a part of. Let this film enlighten your imagination.

3. Ponyo

The captivating story where the land and sea meet in a tale of love and adventure. A little boy, Sôsuke, lives a peaceful life with his mother by the seaside. One day he finds a goldfish trapped in a bottle and saves her, but he will soon find out that this goldfish, named Ponyo, is not your typical household goldfish. Ponyo is the daughter of wizard and sea goddess, she uses her parents magic to slowly transform herself into a little girl. This change in the magical world leads to an imbalance in nature and now the world is in trouble. Ponyo and Sôsuke take on the challenge to save the world.

2. Howl’s Moving Castle

A young hat-maker, Sophie, finds herself slowly falling in love with a handsome magician, Howl. Until the wicked witch of the west curses her, turning her charming looks into a wrinkled old woman, but Howl sees through the exterior and becomes infatuated with inner beauty. Unable to work she flees to the hill’s where she finds Howl’s extravagant moving castle. Inside she befriends a fire demon, Calcifer, whom she becomes extremely close to and together they plan to save themselves from their troubles, but in the mean time break the self-indulgent Howl to faces his problems also.

1. Spirited Away

This wonderful animation tells the story of a young girl, Chihiro, moving to a new town with her family, but all is not what its seems. Within minutes we are thrown into the mysterious world of magical witches, eight-legged boiler men and humans turning into pigs. The film is set in a bath house where incredible creatures and talking animals travel to for a relaxing wash. We follow Chihiro and her new enchanting friends, including her trusty confidant Haku a beautiful ice blue dragon, as she struggles to save her parents from the evil bath house owner Yubaba.

A post-Trump journalistic meltdown

A well behaved journalist would remain calm in the event of the extraordinary, domestic or indeed, international. Recognising the need for circulation of honest information in a healthy, functioning democracy, they write with their minds — not their hormones. They have a duty to produce rational, well-written arguments, perhaps even entirely neutral, in order to deliver information to the masses. After stating a claim, they would back it up with reliable, tangible evidence. If journalism had a superhero (barring, of course, Clark Kent), they would be merely known as ‘Reliably Impartial’!

Yet, each time I attempt to write an article on ‘Let’s Show Those Silly Liberals Whose Boss: Episode II’, I find that I cannot rationally express my views on the matter into words. Even now I cannot not simply call it ‘The 2016 US Presidential Election’. As much as I want to, my fingers will not let me describe what happened on Wednesday morning with anything but utter disdain and bitterness. Although there is highly questionable post-Trump material being produced by the media, I often come across beautifully written articles that wonderfully articulate various views on Trump, Clinton, America and the World. Some articles explain why it happened, some explain what will come of it — all incredibly rational and convincing.

And I wish to produce such an article. What a difference I would be making to my minuscule, yet loyal, band of readers by constructing a hard-hitting, truthful piece of journalism, jam-packed with reliable statistics, impressive political jargon and a killer title that could trump the President-elect himself.

Alas, I have finally come to the sad realisation that it, on this occasion, was not meant to be. However, while the Rules of Journalism and I redefine our tempestuous relationship, I shall write about, and attempt to make excuses for, my lack of ability to write. As a pro-choice feminist with an immigrant for a partner, as well as a strong interest in 20th century history, I cannot remain calm when discussing the election of Donald Trump.

The venom Mr Trump has spewed over the course of his campaign makes me angry, offended, and upset. It would be deceitful to publish what would be a keyboard rage dressed up as an informative, logical piece of writing. It would be hypocritical to hide beneath the blanket of journalism, disguising the frustration and fury lying beneath.

When in a situation where I have to talk about the elections, I cannot utter more than expressions of my anger, disappointment and despair. At this moment, I cannot see a silver lining, only an apocalypse. The rational side of my brain assures me that it is not as bad as it seems, but in the paranoid, emotional side everything seems to suggest the opposite.

On the 24th of June I suffered a similar ‘journalistic meltdown’ following the outcome of the EU Referendum, otherwise known as ‘Let’s Show Those Silly Liberals Whose Boss: Pilot’. I then, shamefully, spent nights drinking copious amounts of red wine and crying into my pillow, with no wise words or valid statements to offer anyone other than variations of “humanity sucks and politics is stupid,” with some added curse words.

Perhaps this indicates narrow-mindedness, bad journalism, and an inability to set aside my own experiences and feelings in order to have a balanced discussion. I chide myself with the reminder that there are many with much more at stake as a result of the election than I, and that they are able to sensibly discuss the issue. Unfortunately for me, I can only admire them with the acknowledgement that I am a lesser being.