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Day: 23 March 2017

Riverdale

American entertainment channel The CW is renowned for its teen dramas. However, most recently it has been very successful in its collaboration with DC Comics in bringing the popular shows Arrow, The Flash, Supergirl and Legends of Tomorrow. If you have had enough of the typical comic book action, Riverdale may provide you with some solace. Based on the characters by Archie Comics, Riverdale is arguably on its way to becoming the next hit show. Having been renewed for a second season and Netflix acquiring international broadcast rights, it is one of the most talked about shows and definitely one to watch.

The seven episodes which have been released so far have done enough to get audiences hooked. The basic premise of the show follows the titular character Archie (K.J Apa) and his friends. Archie is a talented musician and star American football player at his high school, though his father has plans for him to pursue the latter. His neighbour and best friend Betty (Lili Reinhart), struggles with an obsessively control freak of a mother, who has secrets regarding her sister. New girl Veronica (Camila Mendes), daughter of a disgraced businessman enters the town, and as expected a love triangle ensues, which thankfully lasts about two episodes. Last of the gang is Jughead (Cole Sprouse), a quick fan favourite as audiences will be all too familiar with Sprouse’s work. Jughead narrates the underlying story of the series, the mysterious murder of Jason Blossom, whose body washes up at the town lake.

Riverdale is a combination of Gossip Girl, 90210 and Pretty Little Liars. The typical teen drama and romance exists, and like the shows that have come before it, prevailing societal issues are tackled in the episodes, including race and feminism. The show is crammed with pop culture references, as though no character can go one sentence without it. It comes to a point where it is frankly just annoying, Veronica being the main culprit of this. As the protagonist of the show Archie is still yet to become an exciting character, though comparisons are made between him and Jason, which only suggest that big revelations are to come. But for the moment he is not part of the main action unravelling. Betty is the active force of the show, and despite dysfunctional families being an ongoing theme it is The Coopers who are the most intriguing.

Where Riverdale excels is in the enigma surrounding the characters and the murder. Each character is teased to be somehow either connected to the crime or having information surrounding it. Unlike some shows where it is a question of ‘whodunnit’ and the narrative becomes irritating when not much happens, Riverdale does not fall foul of this. Each episode so far has proven to be compelling, in driving the narrative forward and revealing more about the central characters, leading to some suspicions that all may not be quite what it seems. Stylistically, Riverdale is rather neo-noir like in its dark tones and neon colours, which enhance the story at hand.

It is no doubt that Riverdale is proving to be a success, as Archie Comics has signed a new deal with Warner Brothers to produce more content. It looks like the steps of the Arrowverse is being followed to create a whole new Archie universe.

The Gym: Just a way of exercising vanity?

The Mancunion conducted a survey at the Armitage Sports Centre, the gym capital for Manchester students, and asked members there, both male and female, how regularly they compare themselves to other people in the gym — 94 per cent said very frequently, and the rest said never. This is an alarming statistic, even though the numbers are based on this gym alone, it is likely that similar figures could be applied to other gyms.

Recent statistics show that there are around six and a half thousand gyms in the UK, a significant amount more than the figures from 2016. We wanted to find out whether these fitness facilities are being used for health benefits or for people to show off.

Some gym maniacs are completely obsessed with sculpting their bodies to look ‘ripped’ and ‘hench’. That is fine, it is their prerogative. But the fact that the protein shaking show offs prance around gyms in hideous vests and then record themselves lifting heavy weights and post it online is where the problem starts. It is so gymbarrassing.

How are videos of your 240 kg deadlift or a 130kg bench press beneficial to any other member of the human race? Surely this sort of thing should be kept as a mark of an individual’s personal achievements, and not a way of attention seeking to boast these achievements to the wider world through the means of social media. Individuals have different motives for going to the gym, whether it be strength, fitness or weight loss — but ultimately the main reason for going is to improve health. That is why after being subjected to loads of these videos everyday we are left questioning the real purpose of gyms.

This week we had a look at hundreds of fitness mad Instagram accounts. The most disturbing came from a man called Charlie, who captioned his squatting video “On my way to becoming the Hulk”. He was squatting 60kg, very impressive Charlie. Another bloke called Phil only uploads videos of himself doing tricep dips very badly in his local gym in Kent. Thanks for that Phil, you can be confident that nobody in existence will ever in a billion years contemplate trying to copy what you are doing. But what makes these people feel as though they need to do this in the first place? It could be due to them wanting to impress and show off, but it could also be a result of insecurity.

The Body Coach (Joe Wicks) is a very popular figure on the web. He encourages the participation of everyone, regardless of age or ability, to become healthy by following a variety of different workout routines that could be practised in your own home. With his likeable charisma, Mr Wicks also provides a range of dietary advice to coincide with the physical demand of the workouts. This sort of thing has a very positive affect and in some way it shows that the gym is not an absolute necessity, especially for those who feel intimidated by the vanity.

It is completely understandable that people may have insecurities. The classic case of ‘small-man’s syndrome’ springs to mind. Some people who are way below average height, after comparing themselves to bigger people for many years, naturally want to make themselves look bigger. So it could be said that the gym is a successful way of restoring confidence.

One huge issue with comparing yourself to others is that people choose to go too far and occasionally feel the need to take steroids to enhance their muscular capacity — this is unhealthy and there is a lot of evidence to show how incredibly dangerous it is. This is regrettably born out of vanity and wanting to be bigger than other people.

One of the things that irritates so many people is the obsession with the summer body. It is stressed as an absolute necessity that people have to hit the gym hard in the months running up to summer. This publicised need for a flawless aesthetic body is just wrong. Why should we have to go through insane workout routines for the sake of photos or for another person’s appreciation?

With the number of gyms increasing each year, obviously a huge number of people are very fond of them and think it is a good way to stay healthy, and for the most part, it is. The main issue is that the gym has such a stigma now that it is a way of promoting vanity and it is difficult to disagree with this. Ultimately the Gym should be a place where anyone can go to improve their health, not a place to show off and compare yourself to other people.

Afzal Khan selected as Labour candidate for Gorton

Afzal Khan has been officially selected as Labour’s candidate for the Manchester Gorton by-election, following the death of MP Sir Gerald Kaufman.

Afzal Khan is currently the Member of European Parliament for the North West of England, having been elected in June 2014. From 2005 to 2006, Khan was Manchester’s youngest and first Asian and Muslim Lord Mayor. He described his appointment as Lord Mayor as “not just a win, but a big win.” He was appointed a Commander of the British Empire in 2011, for his services to community cohesion, inter-faith relations and local government in the United Kingdom.

Born in Pakistan in 1958, Khan was adopted out of poverty by a Manchester family at the age of 11. He left school without any qualifications, and worked as a cotton mill labourer, bus driver and Greater Manchester Police officer. He qualified as a solicitor as a mature student and is currently a partner at the Oldham solicitors Mellor & Jackson.

After unsuccessfully applying for selection in the 2012 Bradford West by-election, Afzal Khan was chosen from a list of five potential candidates. Coincidentally, George Galloway, who won the 2012 Bradford West by-election, is standing as an independent candidate in Gorton. Galloway took issue with Labour’s “all-Asian shortlist” for the by-election, none of whom are supporters of current Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn.

The Liberal Democrats, who came fifth in the constituency in the 2015 general election, have also announced their candidate. Jackie Pearcy, a Gorton councillor, has been selected to represent the party. In a press release, she promised to “speak up for the thousands of residents who are angry and let down by the way this arrogant and out-of-touch Labour council does business.” Referring to the ongoing power struggles in the Parliamentary Labour Party, Pearcy said the party are “too busy fighting amongst themselves to provide a decent opposition.”

Manchester Gorton has been a Labour-held constituency since 1935. Before his death last month, Sir Gerald Kaufman was the Member of Parliament for the area for 30 years. At the 2015 general election, Kaufman won 67% of the vote.

A date has yet to be set for the by-election.

Festival friendly beauty tips

Beauty and festivals are not two words that typically go hand in hand, probably because a) we live in England, a country that doesn’t lend itself to traditional summers and b) you are living in a tent in a muddy field without access to a proper toilet, let alone a nice sink and a shower. Yet deep down we all want to look as good as our favourite celebrities do in the photos taken of them in Coachella. So here are a few ways to look glasto glam from start to finish.

Glitter

With most people, glitter is the first thing to come to mind when people consider festival looks, and while this is all very well and good, there is far more to it than just slopping some craft glitter down the side of your face in a crescent.

Firstly, you need to have the right materials. Opt for fashion or beauty glitter rather than craft glitter (Claire’s has a surprisingly good selection and 15% student discount!) It is softer on your skin, easier to take off and does not stain skin like craft glitter has a tendency to do.  As well as this, it is rather likely that you are going to be away from your tent (and therefore your make up bag) so you want to make it stick all day and potentially all night too. To ensure this, a popular hack is to dab Vaseline or chapstick to the desired area. However,  I also like using eyelash glue to make sure it really sticks.

But why stop there? Make or buy stencils of hearts, stars, flowers etc if you don’t trust yourself to do it with a free hand. Experiment with fun eyeliner to outline shapes, add gems or even go all out and add temporary tattoos to leave you looking like the fairy version of Mike Tyson. Once you’ve customised your face (and body) to your heart’s delight, don’t forget to set it all with setting spray or, failing that, hairspray.

Make up

Make up at festivals is a bit of a tricky one. This is partly because people don’t like bringing their whole make up bag to festivals, partly because usual rules don’t apply and partly because it needs to last so damn long. Personally, I totally disregard those who advise that you should not bring your good make up to festivals. It is more important than ever that you have good quality, long lasting products to ensure longevity and minimal damage to your skin. Because of this, I prioritise my ‘vice’ eyeshadow palettes over festival snacks. As long as your items are carefully packed (I wrap my makeup bag in jumpers and cushion with socks to avoid it moving around too much during transit), I guarantee they will be fine.

Anything goes with festival make up looks, so it really is a chance to have fun and experiment. Check out Barry M and NYX for fun, reasonably-priced yet good quality items like lipsticks, bright eyeshadow palettes and eyeliners, or Lime Crime and Urban Decay if you have a bit more money to splash.

One of the most important things to remember (and one that is often over looked) is that good glitter and makeup don’t exist without good skin. Tempting as it may be to crawl into your sleeping bag fully made up, don’t. Always completely remove makeup each night and don’t forget to cleanse, moisturise and use sun cream. This will prevent spots and peeling skin, making your skin appear softer and clearer. Decant your favourite brands into miniature bottles or search for travel minis of what you use. And whatever you do, don’t solely revise on babywipes, they are made for baby bums, not your beautiful, delicate face.

Hair

One of the things I struggle with most at festivals is making my hair look acceptable throughout the duration, especially as my hair is so vibrant that even a squirt of dry shampoo shows up so obviously. My first tip here is to learn a couple of different hairstyles to utilise as your hair gets progressively more greasy. French plaits and Dutch braids look great and are super easy to do on greasy hair, space buns , regular plaits and half up-half down are all really fun to do and keep dirty hair out of your face, reducing your chances of developing spots. If you don’t venture beyond ponytails and messy buns, ask a friend to help. My friend Ella led a bit of a hair masterclass in our living room (as I think we were driving her mad constantly asking her to do our hair), or you can find hundreds of tutorials on YouTube.

As well as this, there are lots of fun accessories to add to your hair; bandanas, tiaras, hair piercings, flower garlands and large clips are just a few cheap and cheerful items you can add to your look to jazz it up a bit and are pretty cheap and available from places like Claire’s. Or, if you want to go one step further, using glitter and hair chalks are lots of fun and quick and easy to do. Heed my warning though, glitter is an absolute nightmare to get out of the scalp and will cling on for weeks afterwards.

Chuck Berry: Rock and Roll pioneer

The original rock and roller, Charles Edward Anderson Berry, passed away earlier this week in his home state, Missouri.

You don’t know anything about rock and roll if you don’t know who Chuck Berry is. A widely-accepted view is that Berry was one of the founding fathers in the genre and a pioneer in the emerging art of stage performance. But his life wasn’t always touring on the road. Deep down in St. Louis, Missouri in the summer of 1941, Berry gave his first performance at his high school. His rendition of Jay McShann’s ‘Confessin’ the Blues’ was controversial for the times, but proved to be a resounding success and it was this success which inspired him to learn the guitar from Ira Harris.

When Berry was 21 he married his wife, Themetta Suggs, and worked several jobs in the janitorial and manufacturing sectors in order to support his growing family. It was in the 1950s, when Berry started working with T-Bone Walker, that he began to go back to his music and started performing with Johnnie Johnson’s trio. Even though the trio originally played blues, Berry played to the area by playing country music. In a later interview, Berry stated that rock and roll had always existed, just under other names such as ‘Country Bumpkin Jazz’.

After meeting blues legend Muddy Waters, he got his first recording contract with Chess records in 1955. His pioneering song ‘Maybellene’ reached number one on the R&B chart, this track is arguably the founding statement of the rock and roll genre. The mix of blues and country, original guitar riffs and storytelling lyrics made ‘Maybellene’ and the tracks to follow the first of their kind, and this new sound — while a big gamble — was a resounding success and shows true evolution of music.

His biggest audience were teenagers: Berry once commented that he wanted to make music appealing to the ‘identity of the teenager’, and ‘without showing too much love’ he was able to relate to the teenage masses. Subsequent singles ‘Sweet Sixteen’ and ‘Roll Over Beethoven’ were also hits, but Berry himself felt that the main reason for rock and roll was the times and the technology and that he, like many other musicians, was but ‘a cog in the wheel’. But Berry really did live up to the sex, drugs and rock and roll outlook of the genre, having served some jail time for both offences in 1944 and 1962.

Despite his misdemeanours, Berry achieved a lot in his time. He was the first musician inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1986, a mere year after accepting his Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award. His clear influence over other musicians and pop culture is probably his greatest achievement, and what will make him a legend long after his passing: The Beatles, Rolling Stones and Buddy Holly all have made flattering imitations of Berry, whether it’s the eccentric guitar riffs, narrative lyrics or erratic stage performances. What’s more, you merely have to give a cursory glance to any list of ’80s hit films to find one with a Berry song, from Marty McFly’s before-his times-rendition of ‘Johnny B Goode’ to the Twist contest in Pulp Fiction featuring ‘You Never Can Tell’.

Berry’s influence is greater than any of us can imagine, but we still have new music to hear from him, almost forty years since his last album: Chuck will be released in the coming months. With music constantly evolving, it says a lot that one genre can still dominate the charts. You can’t beat good music, and as Berry said: “Only rock and roll stays.”

Sussex Varsity descends into chaos

The annual Sussex Varsity between the University of Sussex and the University of Brighton descended into chaos last Friday, as crowd trouble marred the inter-university annual sports event.

The problems began during the men’s football match when students from Brighton and Sussex Universities began to chant derogatory statements at one another — something not uncommon for many UK university varsity matches. However, the chanting took an ugly turn as “misogynistic, homophobic, and racist language” was used.

Following this, Brighton students began to burn down Sussex banners, leading to more crowd disruption and violence between rival fans. Some were hospitalised after being hit on the head by objects launched on to the field of play by spectators. The men’s rugby match was abandoned at half time following several pitch invasions.

Police were called to the Sussex campus in an attempt to control the escalating violence by separating the two groups of fans. Bars and shops across the campus were also shut down once violence broke out, presumably to stop fans drinking alcohol.

While the men’s football and rugby matches were brought under control, there were further reports of fights between fans at the men’s basketball game, after a Brighton player was sent off. The result of the rugby match was declared null and void, and would not be counted toward the final varsity total. Sussex retained the cup for a fourth year in succession, winning 12.5 – 8.5.

Naturally, the University Sussex Students’ Union (USSU) condemned the incidents, describing them as “dangerous and disrespectful conduct” carried out by a “a small number of spectators”. As part of their preparation for hosting such a big event on the university calendar, USSU hired an external security company to control crowds and keep spectators safe who undertook a “thorough risk assessment”.

Many students blamed the trouble on the poor planning and paltry safety measures put in place. Brighton fans were moved to an unfenced area of the pitch, thus allowing pitch invaders to interfere with the match. A USSU spokesperson commented: “The decision to move Brighton spectators into an unfenced area was not made by anyone from the Students’ Union. We will be reviewing how this happened as it was not in our event protocols”.

In a joint statement, Professor Adam Tickell, Vice Chancellor of Sussex University and Professor Debra Humphris, Vice Chancellor of Brighton University said that students involved in the violence would face “serious consequences”. In addition, they commented “The scenes witnessed at the annual Varsity sports day were shocking and disgraceful,” going on to say: “We unreservedly condemn the behaviour. The future of fixtures will be under review as part of our wider investigation.”

Sussex Police are asking for witnesses to come forward and are currently examining CCTV footage of the incident.

Andy Murray in 2017

2017 hasn’t been a memorable year for Andy Murray so far. While he won his first tournament of the year in Dubai a couple of weeks ago, good results in the biggest tournaments have eluded him; he suffered a surprise defeat to Mischa Zverev in the fourth round of the Australian Open — after Novak Djokovic, the man who had beaten Murray in four Australian Open finals, had been sensationally knocked out in the second round by Denis Istomin — before Vasek Pospisil beat him in Indian Wells. Murray then pulled out of Miami with an elbow injury.

Murray’s position as World No. 1 is secure for the moment, despite his poor results, because Djokovic has also struggled, failing to replicate last year’s stunning form. But once the clay court season begins, Murray will have a heap of points to defend for the rest of the season.

For Murray though, he has more priorities than just retaining his number 1 ranking. Although the Scot has long been considered a member of the Big 4, his list of achievements, while impressive, cannot match those of Djokovic, Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer. In particular, Murray’s haul of three Grand Slam titles pales in comparison to the 11 of Djokovic, 14 of Nadal and 18 of Federer. Those three players have also won each of the four Grand Slams at least once. Murray will likely be prioritising closing that gap, at least somewhat, and completing the Career Grand Slam — though he still needs to win the Australian and French Opens to do so.

The next chance for Murray to add to his tally will be at the French Open in May. Clay was long considered to be his worst surface, and his results confirmed that. Until 2015, despite reaching the semi-finals twice at the French Open, he only won one match on clay against a player ranked inside the world’s Top 10 — in 2009 against Davydenko at the Monte Carlo Masters. The last two years, however, have seen a shift in results, beating the likes of Stanislas Wawrinka, Djokovic and Nadal (twice), winning the Monte Carlo and Rome Masters titles, and reaching his third semi-final, and first final, at the French Open in 2015 and 2016 respectively, losing to Djokovic on both occasions. Murray is now a genuine contender to win in Paris, a prospect that previously would have seemed laughable.

To win this year’s French Open, though, Murray will need to regain the form that saw him overtake Djokovic in the rankings last year over the next couple of months. Djokovic’s travails will make Murray’s job easier, but others have thrived this season. None more so than Roger Federer, who was the surprise winner of the Australian Open in January, and Indian Wells. In doing so Federer has played the sort of tennis that has left fans the world over captivated; he glides across the court hitting winners seemingly at will. What makes Federer’s comeback all the more incredible is that he spent six months recovering from knee surgery and beat his arch-nemesis, Rafael Nadal, in five sets, the first time he had beaten the Spaniard in a Grand Slam match for nearly 10 years.

Whether Federer will be able to continue his sensational form on clay is another matter. Over the past few years his results have been worse on it than on grass or hard courts, as the slowness of clay partly neutralises his groundstrokes. With Wimbledon and the French Open separated by just three weeks, the Swiss maestro might focus his efforts on winning an eighth title at the All England Club.

A player who will be eagerly anticipating the move to clay, however, is Rafael Nadal, nine-time winner of the French Open and widely regarded as the ‘King of Clay’. While his defeat to Federer in Australia would have stung Nadal, reaching another Grand Slam final was a great achievement for someone who has suffered debilitating wrist and knee problems over the years. Even though he is lacking the consistent brilliance that he had in his prime, his groundstrokes are being hit harder and with more venom, meaning Nadal is a force to be reckoned with over the next few months.

As well as the Big Four, an intriguing collection of players will be looking to win big titles this year, from the mercurial big-hitting Stanislas Wawrinka to the returning Juan Martín Del Potro and the big-serving Milos Raonic.

Despite the wealth of talent in men’s tennis, though, Andy Murray demonstrated last year that he can dominate the sport. If he can put his current malaise behind him and recapture last season’s form, then he has a chance to complete his collection of Grand Slam titles and thereby secure his status as an all-time great.

Review: The Olive Tree

Directed by Icíar Bollaín, Spanish film The Olive Tree is a tender and heartfelt portrayal of a twenty year-old girl named Alma and her struggle to accept her grandfather’s dementia and inevitable death. Actress Anna Castillo excellently portrays the deep-rooted anger that Alma’s tough persona so clearly hides, as well as the vulnerability and hurt she has built up as a result of her relationship with her father. I was at first led to believe that this anger was merely a result of the fact that when Alma was still a child her father and uncle had decided to sell her grandfather’s beloved two-thousand year family olive tree for €30,000, losing the ‘sacred’ tree forever without having a trace of where it has ended up. Initially, I was dubious about why she had become so angry about this over ten years after it had happened when — after all — it is just a tree, yet the intelligent scriptwriting by Paul Laverty meant that I was later in no doubt as to why Alma was so angry. Working a mundane job in a battery chicken farm, with the family’s restaurant bought with the money from selling the tree having failed, we are left begging the question, what did this family actually give up such an irreplaceable tree for?

The inside shots of the dilapidated restaurant and claustrophobic, dark family home where argument scenes take place in both the present, and in flashback, contrast with the wide, open space shots of the olive gardens where Alma’s grandfather searches for the missing tree. As we are taken on an on-the-road journey to get the tree back from Germany, we learn that Alma’s anger is about much more than a tree, and the film manages to explore deep set family tension against a background of economic downfall and the life-crushing effects the crisis has had on families and, in particular, the young. Although the plot can at times feel a little ridiculous, the film is successful in combining the everyday stresses of modern day life with the overriding theme of the importance and invaluableness of legacy. As Alma’s struggle to regain the tree is hijacked by environmentalists campaigning against the company which now owns it, the hype for this illustrated by the film’s inclusion of on-screen texts and in shot views of Facebook and Skype, which I feared would be over-done but just about managed to avoid trying too hard to be modern, as it worked in context with the plot. Another success of the film was its portrayal of Alma’s relationship with the various men in her life, the lack of trust for her father helping to explain why she puts so much effort into returning the tree to her Grandfather, as she loses the one man who has always loved and protected her. Humorous, sweet and tragic, The Olive Tree is certainly worth a watch.

4/5

UoM men’s football: End of season jubilation and despair

Much like events across the world, the 2016/7 season has proven to be a difficult and challenging period for the Men’s Football Club. Going into the season, the club lost scores of players to graduation and the real world. It was always expected to be somewhat of a transitional year.

Despite the unavoidable struggle that this season was always going to be, the club has managed to survive it relatively unscathed. The 1s managed to pull of a miracle escape, the 3s and 4s similarly avoided relegation, whilst unfortunately in spite of an end of season gusto the 2s were relegated. This year also saw the club achieve international recognition as 1s captain and all-round nice-guy, Ash Silverman was selected for the England Universities football squad.

The 1s came into the season off the back of a heart-breaking 3rd place finish in the Northern 1A division in 2016. However, this year would not see the 1s hit the heady heights of the previous year. With a seriously depleted squad the team remained rooted to the bottom of the table for the majority of the year. The turbulent year was best exemplified by the struggle to find a starting goalkeeper, three different keepers would start for the 1s their first 5 games. Eventually, fresher, Joe Palmer would make the spot his own and perform superbly in the back half of the season.

A change of results for the 1s, however, would take until the last 45 minutes of the penultimate game of the year. The 1s began the second-half away to the University of Sheffield’s first team, mathematically relegated, losing 2-1. Nathan Frazer-Carroll squeezed home an equaliser to draw the scores level. With the game going into injury time the 1s were still going down, only for captain fantastic, Silverman, to steal a last minute winner and take the 1s to a relegation-decider against UCLan.

Following the late winner at Sheffield, the 1s were faced with a fairly simple scenario. Beat UCLan at home or face relegation to division 2 for the first time in long-serving manager, Stuart Leicester’s reign. The task was made much harder in the absence of Silverman, who was injured during his selection for the England Universities side. In front of a turn out of around 200 people, the first team delivered on a performance that merits the quality of their players.

Max Thompson and Ben Alport ran the midfield. Harry Chaldecott and Moses Seitler regularly embarrassed their fullbacks. The back four were resolute and strong. Even the crowd played their part, christening the underperforming UCLan right back “shit pings” following free kick scuffed along the surface – the fullback proceeded to have a mistake ridden game.

Though it took until the second half for club stalwart and captain for the day, Declan Ryder, to fittingly break the deadlock with precisely delivered free-kick. Frazer-Carroll then scored a sublime hat-trick. Late on freshers, Frank Charnock and Jak Alcock both scored eye catching goals – Charnock’s resembling a famous Denis Bergkamp goal.

The 1s ran out 6-0 winners and cemented their position in division 1A. Unfortunately the 2s could not replicate their achievement the following week, bravely losing 4-3 in their relegation decider.

Both the 3s and 4s survived with a bit of luck and hard graft. In particular the 4s survival is largely in debt to long-suffering 3rd year striker, Will Thom who returned to form this year after failing to register a goal the whole of last season. Something of club joke, Andrew Polydorou, also shocked the club and university at large as he put in several man of the match displays for the 4s.

Survival for the 3s on the other hand was largely due to the fact there was one team worse than them in Division 3A – thank you, Man Met Cheshire. Aside from results again Man Met the 3s struggled massively this year. Their torrid season was sealed by a 12-1 thrashing at the hands of Chester to round off a forgettable year.

As expected the 2016/17 season has proven to be a stop-gap season. Nonetheless despite its disappointments and trials this season has shown all that it great about the club.

There have been moments of astonishing football, resilience and dedication on display all year. The 1s survival will live long into club folklore.

Club Captain, Dylan Newman and manager, Stuart Leicester have done an excellent jobs steering the club through a potentially disastrous season. Hopefully next year will be as enjoyed by new and old faces as the previous three have been for me. Fumble over and out.

Best Greater Manchester teams to see this season

Bolton Wanderers F.C.
League One team Bolton are pushing for automatic promotion this season. Currently sitting in 2nd and pushing to get ahead of Sheffield United for first, the Wanderers have been in fine, free-scoring form all season. The team have three home games left at the Macron Stadium and will be looking to go out and win each and every one of them: versus Chesterfield on Saturday 1st April, Bury on Tuesday 18th, and to end the season, Peterborough United on Saturday 30th. The third tier of English football may be a far cry from their time in the Premier League just five years previously: they have sunk far the Wanderers are looking to climb back up the football leagues.
How to get to Bolton’s ground: Trains to Horwich Parkway leave all Manchester stations.

Salford City
Salford City may be at the highest competitive level in their history after being promoted to the National League North last season, but that doesn’t mean they’re planning on staying there. Sitting high and mighty in third place, the Kersal-based team have been excellent all season. Half-owned by United legends Butt, Scholes, Giggs and the Neville brothers, Salford have the finances and men behind the scenes to go far. Three home games remain at the Moor Lane stadium in the regular season — versus Altrincham on Saturday 1st April, Curzon Ashton on Monday 17th, and Darlington 1883 on Saturday 29th — although impending playoffs should surely bring more.
How to get to Salford’s ground: Regular buses leave from the Piccadilly area.

Rochdale A.F.C.
Rochdale are chasing a late run into the playoff positions in League One this season. Currently sitting tenth in the league with games in hand, the Dale will be entering the pitch aiming to win every game between now and the end of April. Four home league games remain for the side at the Crown Oil Arena, more commonly known as Spotland Stadium, against Northampton Town on Saturday 1st April, Port Vale on Tuesday 4th, Coventry City on Monday 17th, and to end the season, Bradford City on Sunday 30th. What’s more, you can go see them play away to nearby Bury too for a local derby, on Thursday 13th April.
How to get to Rochdale’s ground: Trains to Rochdale leave Manchester Victoria station.

F.C. United of Manchester
As the largest entirely fan-owned football club in the United Kingdom, FC United provide a wholly different experience altogether. Despite being in the sixth tier of English football, the club enjoys one of the highest home attendances in English non-league football. The Moston-based rank mid-table in the National League North so far this season, with three home games remaining at Broadhurst Park versus Stalybridge Celtic on Saturday 1st April, Brackley Town on Saturday 15th, and Gainsborough Trinity on Saturday 29th. That’s not all though: FC United have a cup final coming up too, in the form of the Manchester Prem Cup, versus Stalybridge Celtic at Boundary Park in Oldham, Thursday 5th May.
How to get there: Regular buses leave from Chatsworth House and surrounding area.

Students face disciplinary action after banner drop

Following the tensions of Israeli Anti-Apartheid Week (IAW) in the first week of March. Two students have been notified by University authorities that they will be facing disciplinary action for hanging a ‘Stop Arming Israel’ banner from the roof of the Samuel Alexander building.

The two second year students were seen hanging the banner on a Thursday afternoon during IAW, as others stopped to watch or take pictures. The banner was “an attempt to draw attention to the University of Manchester’s violation of its own ethical investment policy … by holding investments in companies such as Caterpillar, who supply the armoured bulldozers for the Israeli Defence Forces” according to a BDS spokesperson.

The banner was only hung for a few minutes until building security were seen on the roof, taking it down and noting down the details of both students involved.

After it was revealed that the students involved are now facing disciplinary action, a protest was organised by activist groups ‘Recognise Refugee Rights’ and the BDS Campaign. The protest is set to happen on Wednesday the 29th of March outside the very same building the banner was hung from.

Almost a hundred students have confirmed attendance to the Facebook event, the description of which states that “this is a discriminatory attack on students that seek to raise awareness of the violation of Palestinian human rights, and therefore an attack on political expression.”

The event claims that this is not an isolated event, “as students at UoM that seek to raise awareness regarding the continual violation of Palestinian human rights regularly face discriminatory opposition on matters as simple as booking a room. An attack on students for political expression is unacceptable and unprecedented.”

The description continues to note that: “We are appealing to the University to comply with the following demands: withdraw completely the threat to discipline these students [and] apologise for attempting to restrict student action.”

The protest has received support from the University of Manchester’s Students’ Union’s current BME officer, who stated that “this is an escalation in the University’s policing of students and must be challenged.” It has also garnered attention and support from other groups, such as the ‘Sussex Friends of Palestine’ group.

The two students who chose to remain anonymous came together to provide The Mancunion with a statement on the events, in which they question the reasoning for their disciplining being that they were trespassing on a roof. They claim security argued them being on the roof  “was a concern for our own safety”.

However they then recount that “they proceeded to put our safety at risk by ordering us to go back onto the roof and dismantle the banner. We were both surprised by this seemingly impromptu and rash decision as it followed self-righteous claims that we had endangered ourselves and breached the university’s health and safety regulations.

Therefore they claim that the reasons of health and safety cannot “be claimed to be legitimate grounds for disciplinary action. In the absence of such reasoning, as well as inconsistency with other banner drop cases, we can only assume that we are to be disciplined for the political context in which we were acting. It is hypocritical that two students be disciplined for bringing the university’s violation of its own ethical investment policy to light.

They continued: “It seems suspicious that the political context in which we are accused of trespassing has been brought to the forefront in the disciplinary letter we received, which stated ‘you were trespassing on the roof of the Samuel Alexander building during Israel Apartheid week’.

“This reveals an underlying discrimination against the political purpose of our action, which according to justice should be irrelevant. We hope the university reconsiders their decision to reprimand us in this particular case, in addition to the unethical investments they hold in contravention of their own investment standards.”

A spokesperson from The University of Manchester, when asked for a statement on these events said that “We cannot comment on student disciplinary cases.”