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Year: 2017

F**k That’s Delicious: Everybody Loves Chicago

In the opening few minutes of Episode 10 of Action Bronson’s smash hit food travel show, F**k That’s Delicious, a Mexican woman asked precisely what is on every viewer’s lips —”who are they filming? This fat guy?” Staring at the women, Bronson replies “sí, comprendo.” Laughter thankfully erupts between both parties and the rapper turns back to eating his corn on the cob.

The setting is Chicago, Illinois — home to the famous deep pan pizza. The episode could have easily transpired into a sequence of pizza tastings but that’s simply not what Action Bronson and his crew do or eat. However, we can all live and pray for a cross over episode of the Pizza Show with Frankie Pinello and F**k That’s Delicious.

“Chicago, you can still smell the gun smoke from the Tommy guns and hear the groans of Al Capone in the background,” declares Bronson in a montage of the city’s most iconic buildings and the upcoming episode. The calmness of the city and the cuisine are quickly juxtaposed to the wildness of the rapper coming on stage with friend Alchemist stood behind his DJ set up. We all long for a life of passionate hip-hop and sampling some of the world’s greatest food.

Firstly, visiting Xoco by Rick Bayless on Chicago’s River North, these tortas aka Mexican sandwiches do not look like your average ham and cheese butty. Furnished with an open kitchen, Bayless and his team serve up some of the meatiest tortas in Chicago. Showing Bronson the behind the scenes prep, the chef goes through the recipe for a Mexican pulled pork filling. With the whole pig is covered in an achiote marinade — cumin, lime, oregano, and chipotle — and then wrapped in banana leaves. “They protect the meat but also gives it a whole load of flavour,” Bayless tells Bronson.

Sampling the meat, it is clear from the steam rising that the cooking methods have served the pig well. Moving outside, the whole gang are treated to a taster of the whole menu. With short rib, jalapeño sausage meatballs, shrimp, chicken milanesa, the ‘spread’ at Xoco looks fit for a sandwich king.

Polish cuisine in the UK is something relatively unknown. However, state side in Chicago it appears a little bigger. Arriving at the Taste of Polonia Festival on a warm sunny day, the array of sausages on offer looks enough to rival any German Christmas schnitzel stall.

Naturally, Bronson and Big Body Bes go for something a little different; a smoked Turkey drumstick the size of a small infant. Just like any average day, they pump into Joey ‘That Guy’ Kornatowski- a Guy Fieri impersonator. Tucking into a polish shish kebab with boiled meat dumplings, buffalo wings and ice cream caps off their visit- alongside a boogie to some rock and roll.

Mentioning the latter, after their meat filled Polish adventure the next logical place to visit is Margie’s Candies — a half and half ice cream parlour and candy store. With its neo-lights filling the frame and large queue, you can see why this place requires a visit from F**k That’s Delicious. “Old school feeling, all this old a** s*** on the walls, I love it,” Bronson states.

The atmosphere clearly harks back to the 20s family run era when the store was set up. Ordering three banana splits in an enormous egg shell, the cream almost overflows from the bowl. “This is a guaranteed spot, 100% happiness fulfilled. Margie’s Candies it’s crazy.”

Maxwell Street Market at Chicago Flea Markets embodies the city’s multiculturalism. Specifically paying a visit to the Latin influence in the market, the crew dive into the variety of tacos etc. Sampling, a huitlacoche or a corn smut taco, the particular flavours of the bitterness clearly works on Bronson and Big Body. “This ain’t no restaurant food, it wouldn’t taste the same if it was made indoors, it has to be made in the street — the street is its seasoning for the food. You know what I’m saying? That’s the base, the foundation,” sums up street food accurately by Big Body.

Topping off their Chicago visit with Roister, Grant Achatz’s innovative modern restaurant rounds off the episode. Achatz has a specific episode of Netflix’s Chef’s Table dedicated to his cuisine and life which is well worth a watch. Helmed by Andrew Brochu, the venue is intimate and reminds you of an open sushi restaurant kitchen. Sat across from the chefs, duck hangs over an open fire with its juices flowing. Serving it up with a duck-leg sausage and citrus glaze, the dishes here look phenomenal as you would expect from Achatz.

Finishing the meal is a whole milk ice cream with undercooked cookies and an oyster candy bar made from black walnuts, pretzel, marshmallow, foie gras and dipped in chocolate. Ending on a dramatic classical piece of music, it is clear from all of their reactions that this meal was the piece de resistance to finish their trip.

Poem: Ryan Norman

Nellies

I’ve always wanted to write about Nellies,
but I don’t think I ever can.
The place isn’t what it is now;
all that’s left of what it really is in the photograph of the
1962 piano smash.

It’s maybe in the pebble floors
and the antique novelty bean cans,
in their element in a light that surely
was turned on 60 years ago.

It could be with my friend Charlie behind the bar,
or the last chimney sweep in Britain sat in his corner,
and it is sort of with the double denim
cowboy hat wearing snooker player,

but really it’s only captivated in the black and white
photograph of triumphant men in white vests.

Review: Personal Shopper

Personal Shopper in set in Paris and centres around Maureen (Kristen Stewart), a personal shopper, working for a high-profile model. Yet, she is also a medium trying to contact her recently dead twin brother, who recently died from a heart condition that she has as well.

One of the main strengths of this film is its cohesiveness. Its themes include supernatural elements, psychological horror, grief, quarter-life crises, materialism, and jealously, to name a few. It’s easy to manage this film to be a tonal mess under many filmmakers. Indeed, several critics have cited these tonal shifts as a problem, but this seems largely due to the expectations on a film such as this.

If a film has supernatural elements, people often expect it to just be a ghost movie story. If a film has psychological horror, people often expect it to just be a thriller. Yet the director, Olivier Assayas, glides between themes with ease and without contradiction.  Being able to take elements that are nearly always contained into genre movies and to expand them into a broader setting is an impressive feat!

Yet, the main tentpole that holds up the entire film is an exceptional performance from Kristen Stewart. Some corners of the internet can’t seem to get over the idea that someone from the Twilight movies could turn out to be a good actress, or even a great one. For them, my advice would be to go see Panic Room, go see Certain Women, go see Sils of St Maria, the latter of which she won a César Award for Best Supporting Actress. Kristen Stewart is a good actress – end of.

In Personal Shopper, Stewart is able to be believable when her character, Maureen, alters her mannerisms when talking to different clients, her boss, her boyfriend, her brother’s grieving girlfriend, all the while still recognisably being the same person. This is hard for any actor to pull off, yet Stewart does this effortlessly. Plus, being on screen for nearly all the film, Stewart is simply a joy to watch!

Credit where credit due, this is pretty much the only film out there that makes texts scary. Most times, it’s simply a gimmick. A cringeworthy attempt to try and be “cool”.  In Personal Shopper, meanwhile, it not only works, its works incredibly well. The result is genuinely suspenseful and a highlight of the film!

However, if there are any criticisms of the film, it would be that some of the supporting characters are somewhat underwritten. For some films, this would be a major problem, but this seems somewhat purposeful here. The film is called Personal Shopper for a reason.

The film very much centres around Kristen Stewart’s character, Maureen. Someone who is going through an existential crisis. From Maureen’s vantage point, the rest of the cast fades into the background because of what is going on in her life. Makes sense, right? Yet, it still would have been appreciated if the supporting characters were as well written as Kristen Stewart’s. Nothing was really lost by doing this, but nothing was really gained either.

Overall, whilst Personal Shopper combines its many seemingly contradictory themes together well, Kristen Stewart is the stand out part of the film. If there Is any reason to see this, it is to see this career best performance!

 

4/5

Martin McGuinness: Peace-broker or dealer in death?

Martin McGuinness passed away this past week at the age of 66. There is no doubt that the majority of the reactions to the news of the death have been controversial. He is seen as either a peace-broker or a dealer in death, but a true historical reflection cannot be restricted to this binary, which seems to have engulfed much of the tabloid media and many social media commentary

It is no question that the former leader of the IRA, the illegal terrorist group, has blood on his hands. At one point in time, he was encouraging violence and murder when the Troubles were shaking the foundations of Northern Ireland. Indeed, aftershocks during the Troubles extended across Britain for decades.

Operation Flavius was arguably a turning point for McGuinness, with his acknowledgement that violent methods had only gotten him so far. Like other terrorists-turned-diplomats in the twentieth century, McGuinness’ willingness to pursue a peaceful solution was vital. Without him, it is quite possible that the Good Friday Agreement may never have happened when it did.

As someone who had influenced terror, and perhaps played a very physical part in it, he was undoubtedly a leader who commanded enough authority to move towards ending the Troubles. Regardless of whether he killed anyone in the flesh, he definitely ordered or commanded acts of mass murder.

The outrage felt by victims of the IRA at the fact that he was never brought to justice is understandable. One can imagine that if they were affected personally by the IRA, they would find it extremely difficult to conclude anything other than this man should have died rotting in a prison cell.

But the life of McGuinness is a tale of two chapters. The fundamental question here for observers to ask themselves is: can people change? Can a young violent radical morph into a mature man of responsibility for the greater good?

Of course, it is regrettable that he never apologised or publicly acknowledged the error of his ways. Perhaps this was because to do so might have impacted on the popularity that he had in republican circles, which he used during the Peace Process.

In the 1970s and 80s, Norman Tebbit referred to him as “murderous scum”. However, the daughter of an IRA attack victim, Jo Berry, provided an intelligent and rare nuanced reading when she said, “I value Martin McGuinness as [an] inspiring example of peace and reconciliation.”

A comparison with Nelson Mandela, the ANC leader who oversaw terror campaigns to end apartheid but then came to peaceful resistance when it became the only credible solution, is often raised. Certainly, in both cases, terrorism and the murder of non-combatants and civilians is not justified. Resorting to terrorism should never be condoned when innocent lives are taken intentionally.

It is extremely rare, if nigh-on impossible, to find instances of justified terrorism. We can condemn the acts of terror that both men committed. It is also too much of an ask to weigh out the crimes committed versus the crimes avoided after these men changed. This mathematical approach would naturally undermine the importance of the issue to the families and communities involved.

What one can do, however, is attempt to take a sensitive and mature response. Reducing the complexities of dialogue to two-sided dogma, picking a side, and covering your ears until the next ice age is not a helpful approach.

In political life, which is not as simple as supporting your favourite football team, there are often instances of dreadful actions that bring about years of instability and other instances of principled actions that bring about a peaceful settlement. After all, it was the then-Prime Minister Tony Blair who presided over the peaceful settlement with Northern Ireland (albeit John Major did a lot of the legwork during his tenure) and then later instigated the invasion of Iraq.

Victims of the IRA have every right to feel indignant, and I am sure that I would have preferred him to have died in a prison cell. One should never blame them for that reaction. But if one must ask, would I take back this man’s change of heart and the years of progress since the Good Friday agreement just to have him die as young as some of his victims did?

The answer is bound to be rational and considered. Despicably, too many lives were taken away at too early a stage, and McGuinness is one of those responsible. But he was equally responsible for being a partner in peace and preventing further violence.

We need to stop judging the lives of every political actor through slogans and statements that do not provide an intellectual, accurate and nuanced approach. A complex life has to be judged in a balanced way, by only making moral assertions after first accepting that people can change in politics — even if we think that their true nature does not.

I fear that there are forces in our society (including social media) that lend to sound-bite analyses that do not properly reflect the full state of affairs.

Millennials face real problems

I am twenty-one years old, and I think I am similar to other people my age in that my hackles can be raised at a mere passing mention of the term ‘millennial’. This is because criticism for our generation has become so widespread that it is no longer uncommon to hear complaints about generation Y from within our own ranks.

Comments passed about those born from the mid-eighties onwards are usually something along the lines of a poorly researched whinge about self-entitlement, political apathy, laziness, or all of these things.

Late in 2016, an extract of an interview with Simon Sinek on Inside Quest emerged, addressing these complaints. Namely, this was in light of the fact that many employers had raised concerns about their younger employees. It was wildly popular, shared on social media by millennials and older generations alike. It amassed over 56 million views on Facebook alone.

The younger people that I know who shared this video did so largely because they felt as if someone was finally giving a coherent explanation for some of our generation’s problems rather than simply insulting us. Sinek acknowledges problems of self-esteem as well as the current youth’s alarming rates of drug overuse, mental illness, and suicide. These were linked to factors that were generally out of our control, such as the fact that most of us have grown up with access to mobile phones and social media throughout most of our adolescence.

I don’t have too much of a problem with the points raised in this video itself. I do think that Sinek takes a slightly patronising tone throughout, and the more alarming statistics linked with our generation like mental illness are skimmed over, lumped in with other far less pressing problems and unsatisfactorily blamed yet again on technology alone.

It is starting to feel as if even those who are coming to the defence of millennials are missing the important points. Growing up without any memory of living in an age without social media will inevitably affect a generation in some way.

Yet, this oversimplification and misunderstanding of what is genuinely affecting our generation feels more like an answer that I would have given in a GCSE French test. Sinek and others who seem to be championing this cause are acknowledging some worrying symptoms, but not linking them to the social environment in which we live.

When Sinek talks about ‘medals for participation’, it is made to seem as if our generation has had everything handed to us. This is despite the fact that everything from the job market to university places are now fiercely competitive compared to when the previous generation was our age. Having said this, it is at least refreshing to hear someone outside of our generation attempt to offer an explanation and empathy rather than blame. So, I can fully understand why the video went viral.

The video in question was followed up at the start of 2017 with a shorter clip on YouTube of Sinek offering some further explanation and clarification of his views. What I had hoped for in this video was a deeper study of some of the problems surrounding our generation.

I wanted Sinek to mention that as well as social media, high rates of depression probably had deeper causes, like inescapable student debt and bleak job prospects. However, one of the first things that this video made clear was that Sinek did not want to ‘let millennials off the hook’.

Now, I agree that personal responsibility is important, but all this video did was to simplify problems further, still offering no insight into real social problems that our generation faces. To acknowledge such deeply ingrained issues, then dismiss some as incidental and others as solvable by looking at Facebook, is not good enough.

These videos have resurfaced more recently when the story was picked up by The Independent. An article was published focussing mainly on these views. Instead of adding some nuance to Sinek’s points, The Independent unhelpfully decided to emphasise the underdeveloped ones, entitling the article “Millennials are struggling at work because their parents ‘gave them medals for coming last’”.

I hadn’t noticed until reading the entirety of this article that it was actually written by a member of generation Y. In spite of this fact, it does nothing to challenge poorly backed up claims, such as that our parents told us that we were special all the time.

I do not wish to complain about the fact that attempts now seem to be being made to understand our generation and its problems. However, it is the oversimplification of the causes behind our generation’s problems that bothers me.

Background issues like the hyper-competitive society in which we live, less pressing problems like overstimulation by technology, and symptoms of these problems such as high rates of depression and drug use are not being understood as separate. These things are matters of cause and effect, but are not being seen as such.

Formula 1: 2017 Season Predictions

Driver’s Championship

1st: Sebastian Vettel (Ferrari):
A shock return to winning ways it could be, but Vettel has vast experience and blistering qualifying pace, and has a seat in a Ferrari looking faster than ever.

2nd: Lewis Hamilton (Mercedes-Benz):
The British driver will once again be pushing for the title, with his extreme race pace, but maybe, just maybe, the era of total Mercedes dominance is over.

3rd: Valtteri Bottas (Mercedes-Benz):
Filling Rosberg’s seat, and having only signed a one-year Mercedes contract, the Finn has a lot to prove, with raw talent, yet no race-winning experience.

4th: Kimi Räikkönen (Ferrari):
The hugely experienced Finn will be looking to fight fellow countryman Bottas once again, so expect wheel to wheel action and closely fought points tallies.

5th: Max Verstappen (Red Bull):
The flying teenage Dutchman, exciting and talented, will be hoping to replicate last year’s form, a future World Champion, in a car that’s not quite there yet.

6th: Daniel Ricciardo (Red Bull):
Aggressive, all-out racing, with a tactical head to boot, Aussie racer Ricciardo will be a very close match for Verstappen. Red Bull have some supers drivers.

7th: Sergio Pérez (Force India):
Force India finished 4th last season, significantly boosting finances; in an improved car, the calm and uniquely light-on-the-tires Pérez could surprise many.

8th: Felipe Massa (Williams):
Brazilian veteran Massa retired last season, but couldn’t resist the lure of a return; the enormously experienced Williams driver will be tested to new limits.

9th: Esteban Ocon (Force India):
In a season looking racier than ever, Force India can really make an impression, and Ocon, on the Mercedes development programme, has talent to prove.

10th: Nico Hülkenberg (Renault):
Hülkenberg will be hoping that Renault have made strides with their new car since last season, and has the talent to hold his own with faster cars to boot.

11th: Romain Grosjean (Haas):
Franco-Swiss racer Grosjean has proven to be highly talented, with ten podiums in lesser cars: sadly the Haas model does not seem to match his pace.

12th: Daniil Kvyat (Toro Rosso):
The Russian is another driver with something to prove, after being shockingly swapped out of the Red Bull mid-season last term back into Toro Rosso.

13th: Carlos Sainz Jr. (Toro Rosso):
Son of double World Rally Champion Sainz Sr., the talented young Spaniard should produce a very close battle with his teammate Kvyat this season.

14th: Lance Stroll (Williams):
The 18-year-old’s first season in F1 could go either way: he clearly has immense talent, but crashed on numerous occasions in pre-season testing.

15th: Kevin Magnussen (Haas):
Haas have another talented driver in their line-up this year in Kevin, son of driver Jan: the team have experience and youth but a rather sorry-looking car.

16th: Joylon Palmer (Renault):
The Brit now in his second season of Formula 1, the first plagued by car failures, will be looking to gain experience and finish races respectably this year.

17th: Fernando Alonso (McLaren-Honda):
McLaren are looking truly atrocious going into the new season: but if anyone can nick a point for them it’s Alonso, still one of the best drivers out there.

18th: Stoffel Vandoorne (McLaren-Honda):
Sharing the same dreadful McLaren with Alonso, Belgian Vandoorne will be hoping to avoid embarrassment this year: and more engine failures.

19th: Marcus Ericsson (Sauber):
By all rights, McLaren drivers should be found at the bottom of this list: if it weren’t for Sauber, looking equally sluggish and with a tamer driver line-up.

20th: Pascal Wehrlein (Sauber):
The German in the dreary Sauber missed almost all of pre-season injured, so has had no time at all to get used to faster pace and radical rule changes.

Constructor’s Championship

1st: Ferrari:
This is the opportunity for Mercedes’ dominance to end; Scuderia are looking to take advantage.

2nd: Mercedes-Benz:
The German team have been successful in recent years and will push all the way for another title.

3rd: Red Bull:
Red Bull have a superb driver line-up this term, with a car just a little work off becoming a winner.

4th: Force India:
Force India exceeded expectations to finish a lucrative 4th last term: a repeat will be sought.

5th: Williams:
Sir Frank and his British team Williams will seek a return to 4th, but with their car, might fall short.

6th: Toro Rosso:
A clear secondary to parent team Red Bull, the true pace of Toro Rosso will always be a question.

7th: Renault:
Renault have a good opportunity to move on from a poor 2016, but development seems slow.

8th: Haas:
Hass will be entering only its 2nd year of existence, let alone competition: expect inconsistency.

9th: McLaren-Honda:
Even Alonso can’t pull McLaren out of this mess — will the engine be able to survive a whole Grand Prix.

10th: Sauber:
A weak-looking team, a weak-looking car and a weak-looking driver line-up: the new back-lappers.

Striking the right balance

Sometimes it feels like balancing your life at university is impossible and there just aren’t enough hours in the day to keep your grades up, your diet healthy and your social life… well, existent. However, finding a good balance is the key to keeping all those metaphorical plates spinning — and contrary to popular opinion, it’s easier than you think!

With deadlines ongoing and exams looming on the horizon, it’s so important to take some time to reflect on how you’re doing. Are you striking the right balance between work and your wellbeing, or are you prioritising one over the other?

Routine is the first step towards getting balance in your life. It’s important not to be too hard on yourself because a very strict timetable can be just as bad for you as having no timetable at all. Why not try restricting all work to designated “work stations”; this could be your kitchen table, the library, or your department’s student lounge.

This will make you more efficient when you are working, as well as making it much easier to relax at home. This will help you to avoid the urge to ‘just do a bit of work in bed’ which we all know is code for ‘have a two-hour nap’. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there.

Making sure you’re eating properly is also a win-win on the life balance front. Cooking is a great stress-buster and it’s productive too. By cooking cheap, healthy meals and taking them into uni with you, you can save a fortune and avoid the preservative-packed, bland minefield that is the boxed sandwich. You can try out fun new recipes as a break from staring at essays and revision; plus, if you choose smart foods such as eggs, avocados, salmon, and nuts, you’re doing your brain a big favour too.

Managing to see your friends with deadlines and exams around the corner is no easy task. Some good ways to keep your social life as active as possible is to combine it with other things. For example, you could gather your housemates and arrange to eat breakfast as a house on the weekend so you can catch up on the week’s gossip.

Another good option is joining a sports team — there are so many to choose from on every experience level, and it’s an amazing way to meet new people whilst having fun and keeping fit. If there has ever been a time to think about getting fit, it should be now.

In the run-up to exam season, students binge on junk food and crash after major sugar highs. So take of your body for a change and get joining a team! Lastly, group study sessions have been proven to be one of the best ways to have a positive effect on your learning.

Booking a study room at the library or the Ali G Learning Commons is quick and easy to do on the library website, or you could even gather your coursemates around your own coffee table and reward yourself with a relaxed night in after your work is done.

The most important thing to do is not stress yourself out or make yourself ill over uni work. At the end of the day, keeping a balance between the two is more important than meeting every single deadline or completing your essay weeks ahead of schedule. Take care of yourselves!

Fake your way to the tan

Although we try our best, living in a climate like the UK means the chance of getting a natural tan is incredibly slim. Whilst at the slight sign of sun many strip off to try and catch the fleeting rays, the sun usually only lasts approximately three minutes and we are left shivering in a state of partial undress.

What’s a girl to do when she is faced with the unreliability of the British summer but is desperately seeking a tanned complexion? As sensible adults sun beds are out of the question, therefore we are left with only one option: fake tan. I have regularly been told that I am lucky that I have a natural tan to which I point out is absolutely not the case.

When I bought my first Mac foundation in 2011, I was told that I needed the lightest shade they sold but for the past four years it seems that I have managed to mislead those around me to believe that my tan is all natural.

Admittedly I have managed to top my natural tan at lengthy intervals over the past few years but the everyday maintenance is all down to my trusty combination of fake tan products.

The comparison photo of Ariana Grande circa 2011 surfacing on the internet in recent weeks, when placed next to a recent image demonstrates the power of fake tan in all its glory.

From a self- confessed fake tan addict to the fledgling fake tanners or the girls who know the tricks all too well, here is a list of my top fake tan tips:

1)   The cardinal rule to any fake tan endeavour: make sure you give your skin a good scrub/ exfoliate before you apply any fake tan.

2)   In the days leading up to your fake tan session and after you have exfoliated, make sure you generously apply moisturiser to your whole body to ensure that your tan applies smoothly.

3)   Pay particular attention to the knees, elbows and hands. These are the trickiest parts to apply fake tan to, so make sure you do this carefully. I’ve had a fair few misapplication disasters and trust me, the banter you receive almost isn’t worth it. I apply Nivea shaving balm for men to the drier areas to ensure a smoother application.

4)   When wearing fake tan overnight wear loose fitting long pyjama bottoms to protect your sheets from the stains.

5)   This one is obvious, make sure you wash the palm of your hands from all of the excess tan but be careful not to get the top of your hands wet.

6)   Start with a lighter tan and build it up. Garnier gradual fake tan is great for this and is super hydrating. It comes in two different shades, the light sunkissed look and the dark. I always opt for the dark. One occasion I unknowingly bought the light tan and was convinced that I had become immune to the product after excessive use. Actually, I had just bought the wrong colour.

7)   Fake tan contouring! Fake tanning can give your body the illusion of instant toning and definition. Don’t bother going to the gym, just fake tan and lose 5lbs!

8)   Reaching the middle part of your back is difficult but is imperative if you want to achieve a flawless tan. If you are struggling to find a willing volunteer to reach that awkward area, then make your own mitt-stick. I’ve have trailed and tested many different variations of this from shampoo bottles to hairbrushes, but after much experimentation, I can confirm that a loofah brush with the mitt fixed in place with a hair bobble is the perfect way to reach this area. Alternatively, if you’re a big spender then bronzieuk.com have a product called ‘got your back’ which is perfect for this notoriously tricky spot.

9)   Use make up wipes to get rid of the product that clings to the bottom of the palm and wrist. Excess fake tan tends to clump here and can leave you looking orange so make sure you pay particular care here.

10)   Finally, make sure your fake tan has fully dried before you get dressed to avoid any patches.

My favourite tan products include:

Garnier summer body fake tan moisturiser (£7.79), Superdrug’s Sunkissed self-tanning mousse (£3.99), St Moriz tanning mousse (£7.99) and of course, the holy grail St Tropez (£29.39). All products are available from Superdrug.

With the application of fake tan, comes the risk of orange related disasters but follow these simple tips and you’ll be looking as if you’ve just hopped off the plane from St Tropez. Just don’t let anyone in on the secret…

Review: Hunter Gatherer

Hunter Gatherer marks Joshua Locy’s first venture as both a writer and a director after formerly working as an art director. This encouraging debut is an understated and quirky comedy about surviving in a lower-class black neighbourhood whilst finding glimmers of joy in the simpler things. Although far from perfect, it certainly broadcasts Locy as a capable director and is a refreshing break from the film-making norm.

Returning to live with his mother following a three year stint in prison, Ashley (Andre Royo — The Wire) is looking to continue his life exactly where he left off. Except everyone around him has moved on. This does little to affect his infectiously positive outlook on life, rather it gives him new life goals.

Firstly, to win back his sweetheart Linda, who has since moved on to a local garbageman, and secondly, to hustle enough money to treat her how he feels she deserves. His escapades lead him into the refrigerator disposal business, one that gives short term financial gain in return for a garden full of broken refrigerators that he lacks the ability to shift.

Enter Jeremy (George Sample III). Around half his age, this curious initial encounter blossoms into a charming friendship with each providing the other with their most urgent needs. Ashley, with a truck to transport his fridges and a first friend after his release from prison and Jeremy, with an important father figure as his only referenced family is the grandfather who’s nursing home room he sleeps in.

The feeling of renewed childhood is used consistently throughout the film with this being the source of many hilarious moments. During an exchange at a school supplies store, Ashley asks the worker to give him recommendations and ultimately critique his look wearing different backpacks. The effortless manner this scene plays out cements it’s place as perhaps the best in the film.

Later on, a situation that is all too familiar for those in the audience, the “but mum” moment. Where one child receives a stern telling off from his mother in the presence of a friend. It’s highly entertaining to watch this unravel with a forty something year old man as the target.

Humour lies at the core of this film, whether whimsical like those mentioned or deadpan, like Jeremy reminiscing about the time his pinky toe was removed and reattached using a laser. Locy manages to integrate bizarre elements into his scenes without losing the realistic foundation he has made.

Unconventionality is embraced by Locy in various aspects of the film, for example the camera is used in ways not often seen on the silver screen. One in particular which worked each time it was utilised was the ‘blur to foreground, blur to background’ technique. Whether to emphasis loneliness or show different character’s exploits in a single shot, this stood out as interesting and incredibly well implemented.

The same cannot be said about everything Locy attempts. At several points the film strays into surrealism with the main characters faces overlapping and passing through each other. This seemed out of place but also a step away from style of work that suits Locy best.

Hunter Gatherer excels in making the abnormal normal with situations that seem ludicrous in real life feeling utterly everyday through Locy’s directorial style. Occasionally it may wander beyond its boundaries but the poetic beauty and ever-positive Ashley makes this film one you won’t easily forget.

Aadel’s top ten young football players

Young players emerging within the football industry is definitely not a new phenomenon, as all extraordinary players have to start somewhere to make their dream a reality. Nevertheless, there are only a handful of young players who have been deemed to possess the right to be placed among the highest pedestals of this wonderful career, as their past performances have yielded high success rates.

Here are my picks for the top ten football players who are under the age of twenty-one, including a tricksy wildcard choice:

1. Gianluigi Donnarumma

Italian; 25 February 1999 (age 18); AC Milan; Goalkeeper

2. Marcus Rashford

English; 31 October 1997 (age 19); Manchester United; Centre-forward (left wing)

3. Renato Sanches

Portuguese; 18 August 1997 (age 19); Bayern München; Central midfield (attacking midfield, defensive midfield)

4. Ousmane Dembélé

French; 15 May 1997 (age 19); Borussia Dortmund; Left wing (right wing, attacking midfield)

5. Gabriel Jesus

Brazilian; 3 April 1997 (age 19); Manchester City; Centre-forward (left wing, right wing)

6. Kelechi Iheanacho

Nigerian; 3 October 1996 (age 20); Manchester City; Centre-forward (secondary striker)

7. Alen Halilović

Croatian; 18 June 1996 (age 20); Las Palmas (on loan from Hamburger SV); Attacking midfield (right wing, left wing)

8. Kingsley Coman

French; 13 June 1996 (age 20); Bayern München (on loan from Juventus); Right wing (secondary striker, left wing)

9. Dele Alli

English; 11 April 1996 (age 20); Tottenham Hotspur; Central midfield (attacking midfield, left midfield)

10. Breel Embolo (WILDCARD)

Swiss (born in Cameroon); 14 February 1997 (age 20); Schalke 04; Centre-forward (right wing)

Embolo, who plays for the Swiss national team, has been declared the wildcard of the list primarily due to his presence seemingly being odd among the line-up of the aforementioned young titans; he has boundless potential and it is believed that he is at the forefront of making it as one of the finest youths of the beautiful game.

Nonetheless, he has been off the radar for some time due to crucial injury, which definitely hindered his blooming progress towards the top. Yet, his hopefully speedy recovery will once again allow him to prove his worth among the elites.

It is fundamental for football teams to proactively seek hot prospects early, as this risk will probably be proven to be deservedly well-taken. The ability to discover and snatch young talent is absolutely priceless.

This sustainable objective will probably prove to have been worthwhile for the (purchasing) club, mainly in terms of future performance contributions, financial gains and international fame. Talented young athletes are indeed a gem in any sporting industry.

Prepping for the poolside

As we are well into spring and summer is fast approaching, it is nearing that time of year when we bare all in our bikinis. However recent trends suggest that, to our great relief, it needn’t be a two-piece we pack in our suitcases this time around.

Vogue puts the current popularity of the one-piece down to the return of 80s styles in high street stores. This year also sees the release of the new Baywatch movie, in which we see bronzed actresses running elegantly across the beach in low-backed, high legged swimsuits. It is a classic style we see splashed across the Instagram accounts and magazine pages, capturing the likes of Beyoncé and Kylie Jenner.

The ‘frong’ style is an increasingly popular revived 80s feature, seen in both swimsuits and bikinis according to Bikini.com — and the higher the leg the better! It seems designers are currently experimenting with stylistic options for the bottom half as well as the top. Examples of this are the Brazilian; a ruche running down the centre of the back of bikini bottoms that accentuates the natural shape or the ever more daring thong style bikini — useful for avoiding large unattractive tan lines!

Off the shoulder styles are big this year. This is normally a clothing feature but can also be transferred into swimwear, creating an ultra-flattering, Bardot look. As well as the typically feminine look, we will also see a lot of sporty style bikinis. For example the Calvin Klein range, often high-neck, racer-back, crop-top style — perfect if you prefer to opt for practicality.

In addition to the differing cuts and shapes of swimwear, there is a lot of attention to detail with the patterns and fabrics used. Crochet is all the rage, as well as many of boho-chic style decorations including bright colours, tie die patterns, pom poms and, of course, embroidery. We’ve seen it on blouses, denims, dresses, skirts — and now swimwear. Floral reds, pinks, and greens against a black fabric background seem to be most prominent.

So this summer take your pick from the vast assortment of swimwear designs at your disposal. Check out Seafolly, Australia’s leading swimwear company for the ultimate beachy vibe, as well ASOS, H&M and many more if you’re on more of a budget over the holidays this year.

Student Poet Interview: Ryan Norman

“War poetry was the first hit for me”, begins Ryan Norman, recounting his earliest experiences with poetry that would lead him to write — and have published — his own poems. “The way Owen uses the ‘s’ sound in “merciless iced east winds that knife us” to reflect the wind in the trenches is unreal.

“There’s a great poem about an old-fashioned road bike out there somewhere whose poet I can’t remember, but he says that the bike ‘noses tangled coils of air/ cut with your pure/ purposeful geometry’. Like, you would never think of describing a bike like that, but how accurate is it? Brilliant.”

Ryan goes on to explain that he first got into poetry at the age of 17, and wrote his own pieces in an attempt to emulate the enjoyment he got out of reading it. Despite being published in The Cadaverine, and having just spent a weekend participating in the Mixed Borders residency scheme in London, Ryan still views his current writing as practice.

“I don’t think I’m at a place where I can do justice to the deeper feelings that everyone struggles to articulate”, he explains, and so he writes about absolutely anything.

“I have a pair of poems about an alligator and a ladybird that use a couple of the same phrases to explore the kind of similarities you wouldn’t necessarily notice, one about a pub, one about the racecourse I walk my dog around, one about a trip I made to Snowdonia with my friends over summer — it’s just a case of writing about all sorts, and finding ways of presenting the familiar in those poems in a new and interesting way, inventive sounds and images and the like.”

Expression is key to writing for Ryan, and he feels that poetry is not explored enough as a creative outlet in schools: “Even if it’s just trying to see the world in a new and inventive way, rather than profound philosophical exploration, it definitely expands the minds of young people.”

Ryan also tends to write on paper, and then edit on Word later. He likens writing the old-fashioned way to “that refreshing sense you get after reading a book”.

Ryan is currently based in Manchester, but feels that the scene is “mainly in London, but does leak up to Manchester with the Centre for New Writing”. He suggests that aspiring poets take to Twitter to find circles of those with similar interests, and make as many submissions to magazines as possible.

“Even just on Twitter, it’s easy to discover the poetry circle of who follows who, once you’re in on that you start to get the feel of what’s going on in poetry in 2017 and how you can go about getting involved.”

“To tip my hat to Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society”, he says, “if you want to make it happen, you can — just put yourself out there”.

Review: Creedmoria

Greatness in the coming-of-age genre is rare. Far too often the same story gets simply repackaged with a different cast. That’s why the best films stand out, as they have unique qualities that set them apart from the crowd. In the case of Creedmoria, that quality is unconventionality.

The only comparable aspect it possesses to other films of the genre is its incomparability. For that reason alone it was hardly surprising that Alicia Slimmer won the Best Director award at this year’s Manchester Film Festival.

Set in the fictional city of Creedmoria, named after the local institution for the mentally ill Creedmoor, we follow one of the most dysfunctional families seen on the big screen through the eyes of 17-year-old Candy (Stef Dawson, Hunger Games).

Each family member has one key personality trait that is exaggerated to the nth degree to create this fantastical world. Her mother is wholly self-centred and emotionally devoid, using her children as pawns to progress her own social status. She also has two brothers. One, a drug and alcohol addict who never ceases to find ways to embarrass his mother, and the other is a closeted gay that seems to be the last person to find out about his sexuality.

The family is rounded off by their ironically named dog Cuddles. Although the entire family’s problems are amplified beyond that of anything in real life, they coalesce to form a charming family dynamic more realistic than most found within the genre.

The world Slimmer creates is similarly overemphasised, taking each stereotype of the late 70’s early 80’s era and magnifying it to an parodical level. Candy’s boyfriend Billy for example, who is terrifyingly jealous, appears to have modelled his complete physical appearance on Danny Zuko from Grease. They met at the drive in burger joint she works at, where she is relentlessly belittled by the aptly-credited ‘dickhead manager’.

Away from the people, several other elements of the film demand the viewers attention. The soundtrack is an eclectic compilation of songs with each used perfectly to either represent a particular character or scene. This eclectic theme continues in the fashion and decoration with Slimmer stating, perhaps not so unsurprisingly, that Wes Anderson has been a direct influence on her work.

As the film progresses through its story arc there are a few moments where it lurches slightly. This occurs in the form of shifts between the many individual stories and in tone, with the climax of the film being a prime instance. Whilst this can be partially forgiven due to the independent nature of the picture and the problems this triggers, most notably in the painfully low budget, it is a shame given the high quality of everything preceding it.

Creedmoria’s message is about rising above the unpleasant events that take place in your life and maintaining a resilient positive attitude regardless. Alicia Slimmer deserves high praise for her impressive debut feature. After ten years of hard work to get the film to screen, every award won is a well-deserved triumph. For me personally it was the most entertaining film at this year’s festival.

Album: Laura Marling – Semper Femina

Released 10th March via More Alarming Records

9/10

Largely written on the road, Semper Femina explores the inner complexes of feminine identity from Laura Marling’s perspective as a creative artist. It is an open, deeply emotional journey of self-discovery displaying conflicted ideas about love as the singer-songwriter becomes much more aware and cynical about its nature, yet still sees it as key player in shaping people’s identities.

Much shorter than her previous albums at just nine tracks long, Marling has filled Semper Femina with to the brim with emotion and her typical lyrical genius, as well as exploring some new instrumental sounds. As much as this record is just as passionate, it also has a calmer, more considered feel to it than some of her earlier work, particularly the agitated Short Movie and dark A Creature I Don’t Know.

In creating this record, Marling chose to collaborate with Blake Mills, a different producer to most of her past work. She herself has praised his positive influence upon her guitar-playing, challenging her to improve, and this is certainly evident in her variation in guitar technique amongst different songs, and stylistic lean towards some features of soul music.

Prominent bass guitar rings through many tracks, including the bold ‘Soothing’. This opening track was the first single of the album, accompanied by a video directed by Marling herself. It is seductive in every way, inviting the listener to sit down, listen and learn of what the songwriter has to say in an intimate setting: “Your private door to my room”.

Similarly, shuddering drums announce second single ‘Wild Fire’, juxtaposed by Marling’s breathy, deep vocals and a soul-style hook emphasising the focus of the song, “you can stop playing that shit out on me, me-e-eee”.

It is interesting to note that almost every lyrical pronoun is female on this record — a deliberate move by Marling to focus upon herself and fellow female literary/actual inspirations to inform her exploration of feminine experience. This theme is particularly evident in ‘Nouel’, as Marling sings “fickle and changeable, semper femina”, referencing the title of the album which roughly translates to “always a woman”. Accompanied by only guitar and seemingly recorded in one take, Marling’s vocals shine on this track.

Playing along with the “fickle and changeable” sentiment underlying the album, Marling is frustrated and cynical about the concept of love, yet can’t seem to get it out of her mind. “Perhaps she’s had too much of love/can be a sickly thing,” she sings in the ethereal ‘The Valley’, accompanied by rich strings and guitar.

Marling is doing more than simply describing issues of patriarchal power upon the feminine: she is advocating change. ‘Don’t Pass Me By’ can be seen as a referencing challenges to the typical image of the soft, passive female role in history, demanding to know “can you love me if I put up a fight?”.  Furthering this, ‘Wild Once’ displays the stirring lyrics of “it’s hard if you can’t change it/it’s worse if don’t try”, perhaps demonstrating the value Marling is ascribing to this project.

The album concludes with the not very conclusive ‘Nothing Not Nearly’, in a manner as if Marling has gained much insight into what she was searching for in this album, yet is not sure that she is finished in her journey. This track stands out like a painful reminder of the trials and tribulations of love. Emphasising the cynicism throughout this album, Marling croons “we’ve not got long, you know/to bask in the afterglow”. She appears to decide that it is a very real emotion, and a fickle one at that, but dwelling on it is the crux of musicians’ pessimism, as “once it’s gone, it’s gone/love waits for no one”. Not even super successful British folk musicans.

A captivating, intellectual record of vast emotional depth, Semper Femina is a defiant move for Marling into exploring the feminine experience, yet she does not pretend to know all of the answers to the questions it raises. It is inconclusive, but not indecisive, and displays some of her most thought-provoking work yet.

Running around the clock for CRY

The almighty challenge of a 24 hour run was taken on this month by the University of Manchester Athletics and Cross Country Club (UMACCC), all in the name of charity.

The event proved a resounding success as an impressive £452.77 was raised to fund the lifechanging work of CRY (Cardiac Risk in the Young). With a devastating figure of 12 young people per week dying of undiagnosed but preventable sudden cardiac death in the UK, CRY are dedicated to developing heart screening programmes to identify those at risk, and funding research into understanding the causes of these tragic deaths.

As young athletes are particularly at risk due to the potential for exercise to act as a trigger in individuals with an underlying cardiac abnormality, UMACCC felt this commendable cause was very relevant to the club.

The original plan was for club volunteers to run consecutively for 30 minute time slots on a treadmill located outside the SU. With this plan requiring a last minute change, as a result of being supplied with a very basic and hazardous treadmill, the treadmill run was replaced with numerous, more scenic laps of the Alan Gilbert Learning Commons and the library.

Helped by one unusual visitor — the sun — spirits were high as the running got underway and members engaged with the public, informing them of the transformative work of CRY, whilst collecting kind donations from passers-by.

Despite several speaker mishaps experienced throughout the day, the enthusiasm and dedication of our volunteers retained attraction to the stand. This was confirmed by the generous continual flow of pennies and pounds making their way into the collection buckets, which was very much appreciated.

With the anchor leg of the run commencing at 9.30pm on the 1st March, club members gathered in the SU bar to support our final runner, who displayed a mammoth effort in bringing the event to a close. This preceded heading back to our home turf of Fallowfield to celebrate a successful 24 hours with yet another fabulous AU social, accompanied by some well-deserved 2-4-1 cocktails at Revs.

A massive thank you to everyone who donated to this worthy cause. Our Just Giving page is still open for donations, so if you can, please help us to further smash our original £100 target.

Finally, thank you to all of our members for their combined efforts in organising and taking part in the run, despite some very unsociable time slots. Next on the agenda is the Great Manchester 10k, where UMACCC hope to continue this success in raising money to fund the admirable work of CRY.

If you are interested in screening for cardiac complications, CRY holds free screening clinics for young people between the ages of 14 and 35 at a number of locations around the UK. The test is painless and non-invasive, and involves having an Electrocardiogram (ECG) to study the electrical conduction pathways in the heart, and identify any potential cardiac abnormalities.

CRY urge anyone within the age range to be screened, with elite athletes being particularly encouraged.

You can sign up to these events online here, or alternatively if places are fully booked, a screening interest form can be completed to allow you to be notified by email when a screening in your area becomes available.

Live: The Pigeon Detectives

11th March at Gorilla

8.5/10

Ah, The Pigeon Detectives. A band from a long-gone age of jangly, upbeat, early 2000s indie rock. Back when bands were allowed to smile onstage, back when music reflected the stark optimism of the post-20th century fade, back when all you needed was a spot in an episode of The Inbetweeners to be a teenage icon.

And yet, ten years into their career, The Pigeon Detectives prove that the old school still kicks ass, bringing us a proper, unrelenting rock and roll show, packed with crowd surfing, cussing, sing-a-longs, and enough chucked water to make members of WaterAid hyperventilate into a paper bag.

The band respect their audience, and this is their greatest strength. They opened the show with new track ‘Enemy Lines’, which incidentally, is one of the biggest deviations in sound the band have ever made, and for all the right reasons. But there was no holding back on the hits, and no pretense that they were ever going to be absent, so in came the all-conquering ‘This Is An Emergency’, followed by ‘I Found Out’, and lo and behold, in one fell swoop, the night was won.

Pretty much every track the band dropped from there on in had the same reaction: screaming, moshing, jumping, and then more screaming, moshing and jumping. ‘Done In Secret’, ‘Animal’, ‘Everybody Wants Me’, ‘I’m Not Sorry’; tracks from across their discography, and every one of them a belter.

How the band has managed to keep up the consistency of their material over the course of the years is beyond astonishing, and their show was just as consistently exciting, especially frontman Matt Bowman, who presumably draws his energy from some combination of drugs, enthusiasm and the occasional occult animal sacrifice.

The Pigeon Detectives have, with every album, punched out at least one absolute banger, so far without fail. No, there isn’t a lot of variety in the subject matter or instrumentation, but frankly the songs are so joyous, and so bombastically channeled live that you can’t help but enjoy yourself.

And although in a live setting the band rely strongly on their throwback value (Bowman even said at the start of the set, “we know you guys want the hits, we’re not thick”) the band are self-aware enough to play to their strengths, and do so with such utter conviction and tenacity that you cannot help but beam, jump and howl your way through their brilliant, blistering shows.

TPD’s set at Gorilla was no exception, but it was exceptional.

Manchester Cathedral’s Radical History

As part of the International Women’s Festival, Manchester Cathedral currently has an installation by Chinese artist Mei Yuk Wong.

‘What the Feminist Theologians say…’ consists of a black cloth which has been embroidered with gold thread depicting quotations from feminist theologians from around the world, and will be on display until March 26th.

The artwork is draped over a table beneath the beautiful stained glass windows in the Tower space and invites visitors to get in close with quotations on all sides of the hanging cloth. One visitor commented on the striking materials used saying: “Love the black block with gold – bit like Mecca.”

Mei Yuk studied Theology in Hong Kong and Feminism in Holland and highlights “justice, spirituality and women’s issues” as particular interests of hers. She wrote in her artist’s statement: “Though we are living in the 21st century, women’s voices are still missing on many levels. To me it’s important to make women more visible. Often they are hidden by society and world history.”

In relation to this particular piece she wrote: “[The] quotations can ignite thought-provoking discussions on social, political and theological issues”, and that she was “keen to show the work in the Tower space because the walls are covered with the names of mainly prominent male figures. The new work therefore exists in striking contrast to this context.”

Andrew Hardman is a Heritage Researcher at the Manchester Cathedral and an alumnus of the University of Manchester where he completed a PHD in Art History.

Hardman talked to The Mancunion about the cathedral’s history of social engagement: “We have a centuries-long tradition of radical thought at the cathedral despite what people might imagine about how cathedrals operate. [For example] in the 19th century we were in the world’s first industrial city and the clergy here were really involved in alleviating poverty…[also, the Very Reverend] Alfred Jowett, was the first Chairman for the Campaign for Homosexual Equality in the 1960s.

“At the moment, we have our Dean who is heavily involved in ‘Challenging Hate’ which is a program in the city… around hate crime and alleviating hate crime.”

In addition, William Temple, who was Bishop of Manchester in the 1920s, went on to help form the welfare state. The Cathedral frequently works with different artists and organisations and as well as the IWF artwork, currently have an exhibit on political prisoners.

When it comes to engaging with the public, Hardman added that “We’ve got this whole heritage of radical thought which people don’t expect. We like to surprise people with it.”

Debunking sex myths

“Boys think about sex every seven seconds…”

If the stats are correct, men would be thinking about sex roughly 7,200 times every waking day. This may be true for some, but certainly not all. There is little evidence to support these statistics, and, as argued by Tom Stafford from the BBC, conducting the research itself if problematic.

In his article ‘How often do men really think about sex?’ he refers to the ‘white bear problem’ interfering with research; like asking a child to not think about a white bear, asking participants to record when they think about sex, will only make them think about it more.

Rather than every seven seconds some men claim thinking about sex comes in certain phases and can be prompted by being within certain environments. Women too are believed to think about sex multiple times during the day. However, believing claims regarding exactly how much either gender thinks about sex is not advised. Tom Chivers, for The Telegraph, argues these statistics only serve to feed stereotypes of men suffering from “carnal obsession and emotional autism” and women as hospitable, nurturing and sexless.

“Girls don’t think about sex that often…”

Again, the research is varied and many believe unreliable, with some sources claiming women think about sex nearly 60 times a day and others just ten. The relevance of the data is also questionable. How often one thinks about a subject does not necessarily pair with desire, or how highly that subject is ranked by an individual. If women do think about sex less than men, it does not mean they do not desire or enjoy it any less.

“It is impossible for boys to urinate with an erection…”

It’s definitely difficult but it isn’t impossible. According to Healthline, “men’s bodies have a natural mechanism that prevents urination when they have an erection.” However, conversations across web forums, including The StudentRoom, reveal this is not always the case. The main issue cited, was poor aim, rather than it being impossible to urinate at all.

“Fifty Shades or Plain Jane…”

With sex toys being frequently used by both individuals and couples, what was once perhaps deemed as ‘kinky sex’ is now the norm. Though, not everybody feels comfortable using toys, accessories or engaging in role play, participating in this kind of sex is not refined to the supposed wild and sex-crazed few.

The Huffington Post reported on Sex Toy Sales Per Capita in 2012, claiming that American’s spend $15 billion on sex toys annually, 44 per cent of women 18–60 have used one, and 78 per cent of those women were in a relationship when they did.”

“It won’t happen to me…”

When it comes to pregnancy, it can happen to anyone. One-offs do not mean anything, your health and whether unprotected sex is worth the risk must always be considered.

LeFou or LeWho?

It’s a tale as old as time, true as they can be, a Disney movie premières and spams our Facebook news-feed. Unless you’ve not been online in the last few weeks you will probably have heard that the new Beauty and the Beast film is out in cinemas.

Although the mass of Facebook Odeon check-ins featuring ‘feeling excited’ emoticons can be easily brushed aside as Disney-lover excessiveness, there are, actually, some bestial debates that you shouldn’t be too hasty to overlook. Like the matter of LeFou and his sexuality. Is it a much ado about nothing or a much ado about something?

In case you have yet to see the film(s), LeFou is Gaston’s sidekick…and Gaston is the antagonist. Oh, and LeFou is apparently gay. “Apparently” is the keyword here, because although it has been confirmed by Disney Studios, and the director himself, to be true, it is a fact that is only alluded to in the film itself.

In fact, this ‘exclusively gay’ moment that has warranted both a banning in Alabama and a postponing in Malaysia, is one that lasts all of two seconds and, quite frankly, one you wouldn’t have noticed unless someone had whispered, “hey, this is a gay bit”.

In the final moments of the film, LeFou is dancing with a woman before being stopped by another man. This is a man that, in a previous scene, had rather enjoyed wearing a dress. The two men begin to dance and the film quickly pans to all the other heterosexual couples looking happy and content.

That’s it. That’s the scene. So, erm, why has it become such a big deal? Well, because it’s 2017 and this ‘gay’ scene is weak at best. This is not to say that anyone was expecting a scene from Brokeback Mountain, but to say that if Disney are to boast about finally having a gay character, shouldn’t it be more…obvious? Some say not. Which leads to some riveting arguments from both sides of the love-it, hate-it divide.

The main argument for against is that although Disney have now acknowledged the existence of the LGBTQ community, it’s all made redundant by its lack of significance and its pantomime-like execution. Indeed, for much of the film LeFou spends his time prancing and sassing around like the true gay stereotype that he is.

It’s hardly original and it’s hardly representative. Given the fact that this film was a guaranteed money-maker and the increased media coverage it received due to its first gay character, it’s not unreasonable to assume that said gay character should leave an impression. If they were going to talk the talk, they should have walked the walk and committed to major changes. Not least because the story revolves around a zoophilia romance. Anything is kid-friendly after that, right?

This being said, the film isn’t about LeFou. It’s about Belle and her weird curiosities. Although the ‘exclusively gay’ moment was, undoubtedly, understated, LeFou is not an integral character. He is a character that serves to support Gaston, hence the room to cast him as gay in the first place.

There are complaints reading, “of course the gay character is a villain” but, pray tell us, which character would have allowed for such a development? Disney are behind, that’s for sure. One only needs to watch Shrek 2 to see this, but surely we should be rejoicing that this leading film company now has the integrity to say, “he’s gay and we won’t recut for anyone.”

Although Disney were merely testing the waters, this doesn’t mean they won’t be bolder next time around. The scene wasn’t extraordinary, but this debatably represents same-sex relationships as, as ordinary, and as unnoticeable, as any other.

This scene was not ground-breaking but it was ground-breaking for Disney, and it paves a promising future. One that involves both magical and cinematic worlds reflecting the one we live in.

So, progress away Disney! Be our guest. Be our guest and put our speculations to the test.

Album: Spoon – Hot Thoughts

Released 17th March via Matador

9/10

Let’s get straight to the point — Spoon’s new album is fucking exceptional. Not that you should ever expect anything less from them, arguably the most consistently brilliant indie rock band ever.

Their latest effort is yet another hit in a string of fantastic records stretching all the way back to 1997’s Soft Effects, with not a single dud in twenty years; even Transference, the band’s least critically acclaimed release, is a glorious scratchy mess of wonder.

Hot Thoughts initially seems to be something of a departure for the band. There are walls of synth and ambience, and seemingly no acoustic guitars whatsoever.

On first listen, it sounds like their first mistake in my lifetime. However, a couple more listens later it all clicks — as with every Spoon album, it takes a while, then you wonder what you were ever worried about.

Eight of the album’s ten tracks are absolutely massive, swaggering clouds of groove and poise. Jim Eno’s drums are more hip-hop inspired than his usual tick-tock perfect timekeeping — ultra-processed to the point where you can’t tell if they’re man or machine, they’re just percussive slabs, coupled on most songs with super-slick bass that sounds like it’s been dragged out of a tar pit.

‘Can I Sit Next to You’ is a great example of this, a hyper-tight funk masterpiece that’s always focused on the beat, even when it bursts into manipulated strings and ambience.

The guitars are now just as carefully considered as everything else — deployed only when strictly necessary. In ‘whisperi’lllistentohearit’, a standout in an album of standouts, they spend the first half muted, building tension behind the wall of keys, bursting out only in the peaks of the second half, snapping out a wiry and brilliant riff over Britt Daniel’s repeated demands to “come on and give me some spirit”.

The new focus, then, is a deep dive into synths to explore more textural sounds. ‘I Ain’t the One’ is built around a slowly repeated Rhodes pattern and washes of echoes, finally ending in a sudden blast of static. The experimentation is best on the two more ambient tracks, which are genuinely different to anything Spoon have ever done before.

‘Pink Up’ is a patient, slowly swelling track that moves through vibraphones, enormous reverberated fills and a final wash of soft piano and backwards manipulated vocals similar to Radiohead’s ‘Daydreaming’. But ‘Us’ is the real masterpiece — a steady series of mournful saxophones, ominous waves of noise and long spaces of near silence that sounds straight off the second half of Low, Heroes or Dirty Beaches’ Love is the Devil. It’s shockingly beautiful.

Instead of a sea change though, Hot Thoughts is really a continuation of what came before — the mastery of albums like Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga and They Want My Soul came in the little moments of weirdness — screwed up samples or tape hiss bursting out for just a moment.

Hot Thoughts just brings these weirder moments to the fore, whilst diving into their biggest influences’ most essential and experimental records. The overall effect is a record that sounds like a cross between Prince, Bowie and Kid A, whilst still remaining quintessentially Spoon, with all their strutting majesty.

Is it as good as that sounds? Not quite — that would be the greatest album ever made, but it’s amazing just how close Spoon get. It’s only March, but it’s going to be hard for anything else this year to come even remotely close to this astonishing record.