It’s a Goodwin for everybody
By Ben Green
As has been prominently reported by every single news outlet in the country, Sir Fred Goodwin is now simply Mr Fred. He was stripped of his knighthood for his role in the collapse of RBS and the £45 million he has cost the taxpayer through his epic mishandling of the bank. Whilst this move has been loudly trumpeted by Cameron, Clegg and the body who did it, the Forfeiture Committee, Mr Goodwin has been strangely quiet about the whole affair.
Who can blame him really, the poor man’s probably in shock. OK so he might have managed to bring about financial Armageddon, and admittedly he suffered no legal consequences for it whatsoever, but taking his knighthood away? That ought to show the bastard. Obviously it would just be unsporting to think about touching his massive piles of money, or his £16.9 million pension for that matter, I mean talk about kicking a man when he’s down. I feel sure I’m not alone in feeling that losing the right to be called ‘Sir’ is an entirely proportionate punishment for one of the worst cases of fiscal mismanagement this country has ever seen. Here’s how that conversation probably went:
“Sir Goodwin, the press are still saying some awfully nasty things about you,”
“I know, they’re always having a go, they just can’t seem to forget about the whole thing like the City chaps have.”
“Well I’m afraid we’re going to take your knighthood away.”
“You think they’ll leave me alone now they’ve had their revenge?”
“Probably,”
“Do I get to keep my obscene pension?”
“Absolutely,”
“Oh, alright then.”
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