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Month: April 2012

Interview: Rival Sons

Supporting Black Stone Cherry, Los Angeles’ classic rockers Rival Sons are gaining great exposure to legions of rock fans, young and old. With much excitement surrounding their debut album, Pressure and Time, I caught up with bassist Robin Everhart to discuss the album and life on the road.

Gaining a lot of comparisons to Led Zeppelin, although a massive compliment, can be a bit frustrating for new bands trying to achieve that classic sound. I asked Robin if he thought people will take Rival Sons for themselves: “I think people will take it as something unique. People need to categorise things – it’d be a lot cooler if they didn’t but we are flattered of course”.

Taking just 20 days to record and mix their debut record, I wondered if this was an intentional choice, and if so, why? “It’s off the cuff, not over thought out. That’s always the death of a lot of albums. They just take way too long and putting us under that time constraint really forced us to go with the gut. We came in right off a tour and only had a month to record before another tour.” Robin continues about current approaches to recording: “It’s like bedroom music now – everyone can make records in their bedroom today and take as long as they want. But when you want to mix it up on the road, how does that relate? We like to keep it exciting”.

With such honed musicians I wondered if there was ever a temptation to indulge in those Zep style solos? “It was a conscious decision to keep the songs bitesize and with our live shows we can do whatever we want. We probably will experiment with the next record. The next one holds a lot of different stuff”.

Touring with Black Stone Cherry till June, I thoroughly recommend turning up to catch these guys. If I’m completely honest, I thought they outplayed their tour buddies. Rival Sons could well be the future of classic Rock n Roll – hardly fresh but they are refreshingly vintage.

Rival Sons – Pressure and Time

Live: The Resurrection of Warehouse Project

Jamie Jones, Carl Craig, Julio Bashmore, Maya Jane Coles and Scuba
8th April
5 stars

Unless you’re a devout Catholic, it’s quite a rare occurrence to find yourself more excited by the prospect of Easter Sunday than Christmas Day.  And, Jesus Christ, I’m very sorry but the title of this year’s ‘Most Anticipated Resurrection’ must go to the revival of Warehouse Project. Following its hiatus from the start of January, Warehouse has evolved, becoming bigger and louder in the process. The rooms are huge, there’s a shitload more people and they do manage to recreate the lovely seedy ambience of Store Street.
Unfortunately, the intimate feeling of the car park under Piccadilly Station will take time to develop in the new venue. It looks like some kind of urban farm arena, complete with familiar bricks, familiar scaffolding, familiar arches and familiar cattle. And a lot more mud.

Given the sheer volume of artists, I’ll start with Julio Bashmore. He was on fairly early but his blend of stompy beats and simple melodies proved to be the perfect entrance music for the gathering mass of people. ‘Around’ went down well, and the only reason I left his set early was to catch Maya Jane Coles in one of the other rooms. I’d say that she took the cake in terms of flawless mixing, every drop was calculated to perfection and when the breakdown of ‘Little One’ kicked in, it felt like Warehouse had never been away at all. Scuba went with the usual mix of deep techno which served well to reinforce the murky atmosphere as the night moved into its early hours. Carl Craig and Jamie Jones capped off the night with some relentlessly hummable grooves and infectious bass. One of them dropped FCL’s ‘Let’s Go’ which is what I was humming all the way in the taxi home.

Overall, Warehouse Project has made a transition to the next level. A few more trips may be required in order to build up the same affection for the new venue, but that’s not a real issue as it’s now the biggest and loudest place in Manchester for fans of any type of electronic music. Easter marked the return of an institution and nobody can doubt the excitement for festivity involving this particular resurrection. Jesus who?

University of Manchester slump to varsity defeat

Two goals from Fionnuala Andrews inspired Manchester Metropolitan University to a memorable varsity win over a disappointing University of Manchester side.

After the last-ditch cancellation of the varsity fixtures set to take place at Moss Lane, the universities ladies teams decided to play their game in the familiar surroundings of the Armitage site, where the Manchester ladies have won four of their five home games during their successful league season. Despite the late relocation, both sides enjoyed a sizeable level of support, with around large crowds spanning either touchline, the Man Met contingent being outnumbered by the vociferous home support.

The home side started brightly and dominated the early proceedings, the central trio of Francesca Self, Sarah Baker and captain Olivia Thackray linking promisingly without really threatening the visitor’s goal. However, for all their early dominance, it was Man Met who created the first real opportunity of the game. Captain Rachel Dunlop, collecting the ball under pressure in her own half, played a fabulous reverse ball to release Sandra Belsmand, but the advancing left-back was hesitant in releasing the unmarked Andrews and the chance was squandered.

Around 20 minutes in, the game began to settle into a familiar pattern, with Manchester passing the ball around nicely and showing patience in the build-up, while the visitors remained happy just to stand off and allow them to play in front of the back four. The game was livened somewhat, however, when, on 25 minutes, a marauding surge from Natalie Robinson earned the home side a corner over on the far side. The resulting delivery was only half-cleared to the feet of Sarah Baker, who was allowed all the time in the world to square the ball to Chloe Tomlinson, who completed a simple finish.

With the first goal of the game against them, and the increasingly boisterous home fans continuing to make their presence felt, Man Met may have been forgiven for showing a lack of adventure in the latter stages of the first half. However, as the home team again toiled in possession, it was the visitors who began to force the issue. First, Amy Pipe beat right-back Nicola Cooper and saw her teasing cross cleared off the line, before goalkeeper Beth Evans showed good awareness to intercept an incisive through ball from Vicky Frisby.

Then, just moments later, another hopeful through ball pierced the two centre-halves to find Andrews on the edge of the area. Beating three chasing defenders to the ball, she flicked it beyond Evans and into the area, the goalkeeper clattering into the Man Met forward and leaving her sprawled out on the edge of the area. Whether Evans managed to get a slight touch on the ball is unclear, but the referee certainly thought so, as play was waved on with the keeper fortunate to escape punishment.

Any injustice was immediately forgotten, however, as the visitors finally got their breakthrough on the stroke of half-time. Manchester centre-half Laura Gilroy threw herself bravely in the path of a thunderous drive from Frisby, but, from the resulting corner, the hosts failed to clear and Andrews was there at the back post to slot the ball home.

After a much-needed half time interval, the home side returned a rejuvenated force, with Thackray beginning to dominate in the congested midfield area. The enforced substitution of forward Jess Casey, meanwhile, had brought Chloe Mapp into play, and, having been anonymous in the first half, she began to exert her influence in the second, providing a much needed link between midfield and attack as Manchester started to make inroads into the Man Met defence.

In terms of chances however, Man Met still had the edge. Central defensive pairing of Jess Burns and Delcie Thankachar meanwhile maintained good discipline in preventing the likes of Thackray and Mapp from exerting their influence in behind the away team’s back four.

At the other end, meanwhile, Cooper and Southern were still struggling to contend with Pipe, whose persistence on the left flank finally paid off midway through the second half. After breaking free from the attentions of Southern, she crossed neatly into the feet of Summerleigh Watson, who, with back to goal, laid the ball out towards the edge of the area. There, once again, was Andrews, who displayed her potency once more as she curled the ball beautifully into the top corner.

Still, the Manchester girls remained true to their, patient, passing game, but within a matter of minutes the result was sealed for good measure. The latest in a series of corners found the irrepressible Andrews yet again, although this time the final touch appeared to come off a rather unfortunate home defender, who stumbled backwards over the line while trying to shield the ball from the Man Met forward.

With the best part of twenty minutes remaining, Manchester continued to push forward, and they were almost rewarded for their efforts when Sophie Grace-Girdle drew a superb fingertip stop from keeper Sophie Grimmet. However, the Man Met defence remained firm, and when the referee finally blew for full time, pandemonium duly ensued amongst both players and supporters, many of whom rushed onto the pitch as they celebrated getting one over the ‘redbricks’ at last.

Club Profile – UMWCC

We certainly haven’t been bowled over by the depressing April showers; however the end of this drizzly month brings excitement with the opening of the long anticipated cricket season. Manchester Women have been preparing since September under the guidance of head coaches Derek Morgan and Rick Halkon. With a balance of experienced players and exciting new talent from their intake of freshers, the girls are hoping to better last year which saw them clinch the top spot in the BUCS Northern 1B league and finish an impressive 8th in the National Knockouts.
UMWCC are currently battling it out in the nets as they prepare for their opening home game against bitter rivals York on the 25th April. The Mancunion watched the team in their penultimate coaching session to find out more. Performance levels were extremely high most notably in the fielding drills, with emphasis being placed on players backing one another up on the rare occasions of missed balls. Dynamic Captain Carrie Ellwood urged her team on throughout practice and after commented; “I’m really pleased with how the team is shaping up. With the York game so close we are looking specifically at game scenarios and so catching and run-outs are crucial. I’m confident in the team’s ability and if we perform like we do regularly in training then we will be tough to beat.”
Highly detectable from the training was the fantastic team spirit which will no doubt help them in their matches. This has been helped this year with the enthusiastic committee and in particular the appointment of Cicely Dudley as social secretary for the club whose motto is “work hard, play hard.” Dudley stresses the importance of doing well but for her it is more than just a sport. “Anyone is welcomed into the club, no- matter what their ability is! Everybody has room to improve no matter how ‘good’ they are. I think we have the balance just right at the club, hard work at training but also fantastic social nights out.”
So hopefully the season will hold more thrills and fewer spills for the women’s cricket team, and it certainly looks that way with their balance of talent and team work. Tough fixtures lie ahead with York, Sheffield and Leeds to play but it looks like Manchester are the team to beat!

Where are they now? – David Ginola

David Ginola graced the Premier League between 1995 and 2002, turning out for Newcastle, Spurs, Villa and Everton. Renowned for his magical touch and flamboyant style, the silky Frenchman captured the imagination of football fans across the country and he remains one of the most popular foreign imports in Premier League history. His ability was a catalyst for Newcastle’s oh-so-close title challenge under Kevin Keegan and Spurs’ League Cup win in 1999. Ginola was no stranger to controversy, a spat with former France manager Gerard Houllier, after failure to qualify for World Cup 1994, saw him branded a ‘bastard’ by Houllier, ostracised by his native supporters and limited to just seventeen national caps.

Since retirement in 2002, Ginola has explored several new pursuits. Famous for his L’Oreal adverts of the mid 90’s that made him a nationwide pin-up, Ginola has extended his television career. Akin to fellow Frenchman Eric Cantona, Ginola attended the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art (RADA) classes. His first film – Rosbeef, in which he stars as Didier la Flore the butcher – premiered in the prestigious Cannes Film Festival in May 2004 and he has since featured in several other productions. Ginola allegedly turned down a role in BBC soap opera Holby City, but has most recently been on English screens with a cameo appearance on ‘Coach Trip’ as a tour guide for the French town Saint-Maxime.

Away from acting, Ginola received a silver medal at the International Wine Challenge for a rosé wine produced at his vineyard in Provence. Also, reports claim his latest project is setting up an exclusive A-lister retreat at a secret location in Wiltshire. Designed for celebrities looking to unwind, The Centre bears the slogan “Be well, be safe, believe”.

In March Ginola was involved in a skiing accident in which he broke three ribs and suffered ‘severe trauma’ to his throat. Though he is recovering well, the injury has temporarily put on hold his varying charity and endorsing work and his appearance on the French version of ‘Dancing With The Stars’. Ginola lives near St Tropez with fashion model wife Coraline and the couple have a son and a daughter.

Addicks in ecstasy as Powell inspires Promotion

Carl Jenkinson has not set the world alight since joining Arsenal last June. The young right back, eligible for both England and Finland, has featured in just eight league games and is yet to score. However, he deserves a great deal of credit for powering one club to an almost perfect season.
Jenkinson’s former employers, Charlton Athletic, invested the £1m received from the Gunners for the defender to completely overhaul the squad and secure an impressive automatic promotion. Eighteen new – albeit mostly free – players arrived at the Valley in the summer, with the ranks swelled by another ten loanees over the course of the season. Competing against more wealthy sides such as Huddersfield Town, Bournemouth and the two Sheffield clubs, manager Chris Powell has galvanised a mix of lower-league journeymen and academy products into a record-breaking outfit. Promotion was secured at Carlisle with an astonishing fifteenth away win of the season, surpassing anything in the South London club’s history.
Powell, a figure already popular amongst the fans from his playing days, has enhanced his reputation even further, despite a shaky start to his managerial career. After taking over from Phil Parkinson last January, Powell presided over four successive wins followed by an eleven match winless streak, leaving the Addicks mired in mid-table. However, the recently-appointed chairman Michael Slater saw fit to give the former England left-back chance to build his own squad, and the board’s faith has been repaid.
Perhaps the most important factor in Charlton’s promotion is the club’s shrewd moves in the summer transfer window. High earners such as Jose Semedo, Miguel Angel Llera and Therry Racon were offloaded and replaced by young, hungry talent. Ben Hamer, signed on a free transfer from Reading, has been a revelation in goal while centre back Michael Morrisson has recovered his best form after an indifferent spell at Sheffield Wednesday. Danny Green, meanwhile, has added guile on the right wing after being plucked from the relative obscurity of Dagenham and Redbridge.
Perhaps the most surprising success story, however, is that of French forward Yann Kermorgant. An expensive flop under Nigel Pearson at Leicester City, Powell clearly saw enough from the 28-year-old during his spell as a coach at the King Power Stadium to offer the out-of-contract striker a new club. Ten league goals and a complementary partnership with the pacy Bradley Wright-Phillips have followed, and Kermorgant’s career has been resuscitated.
These additions have been supplemented by a number of effective loanees, with Hogan Ephraim and Dany N’Guessan both offering an injection of pace on the wings. Those players retained from Parkinson’s squad, meanwhile, have been rejuvenated under Powell. Johnnie Jackson, promoted to captain, has blossomed into an accomplished box-to-box midfielder, chipping in with thirteen league goals, including a decisive free-kick against Sheffield United. Up front, Wright-Phillips has shaken off his persistent injury problems to top the scoring charts with 22 goals.
Despite a slight slump in March, the Addicks achieved promotion from League One after three long seasons with three games to spare. The obligatory pitch invasion occurred, with Powell and his squad embraced by travelling fans on the Brunton Park turf. So the next time Carl Jenkinson reluctantly cheers on Bacary Sagna from his heated seat on the Arsenal substitutes’ bench, he might find comfort in knowing he played a major part in a team in red and white’s recent triumph.

Resurgent Ulster ready for final shot

It has been a long thirteen years for Ulster since they beat French side Colomiers to clinch the Heineken Cup. That 21-6 victory at Lansdowne Road in 1999 saw them become the first Irish side to claim the trophy, but since then Ireland’s Northernmost rugby province has had to watch southern neighbours Leinster and Munster surpass them in both domestic and European competition. This year, however, is a different story as the Ulstermen find themselves heading to Dublin to face Edinburgh in this year’s semi-final. Fans of Brian McLaughlin’s team are delighted with the chance of setting up a final showdown with either reigning champions Leinster or French heavy weights Clermont Auvergne.
A resurgent Ulster have had an excellent tournament, with their stunning display to defeat Munster at the fortress of Thomond Park in the quarter finals a particular highlight. It is the culmination of a steady rebuilding process for the team over the past few seasons. Like most of Europe’s top sides a substantial foreign contingent has aided their progress. South African players provide the nucleus of this with Ruan Pienaar, who joined the club in 2010 proving particularly effective at scrum half and also with the boot. Fellow countryman and skipper Johan Muller meanwhile is a strong presence in the pack alongside another Springbok in Pedrie Wannenberg. Sadly Ulster will be without New Zealand’s World Cup winning prop John Afoa, after he was cited for a dangerous tackle in the win over Munster and suspended for the semi-final.
It is not all about foreign imports, however, with Ireland and Lions star Stephen Ferris being instrumental alongside the ferocious Chris Henry in the back row. The backs meanwhile are a constant threat, with Andrew Trimble recovering well from injury to join young Craig Gilroy, a player who looks to have a bright future for both club and country. Indeed, Mclaughlin has been pleased with his home grown players alongside the clubs formidable foreign contingent. He was openly disappointed earlier this season that the likes of flanker Henry and second row Dan Tuohy were not given more of an opportunity for Ireland during the Six Nations, and opinion that was vindicated as Ireland’s ageing squad struggled to replicate their performances of recent years.
They will not have an easy path to the final, however, as they must face an Edinburgh side buoyant after defeating Toulouse in front of a Scottish club record crowd of 37,000 at Murrayfield earlier this month. The Gunners lie 11th in the Euro Pro 12 but have upped their game in European competition, proving to be a shining light in what has been a grim year for Scottish rugby after a winless Six Nations Championship. David Denton has continued his fine international form in the pack while Greig Laidlaw has been excellent at stand-off. Dutch flyer Tim Visser has also been a real asset on the wing and is looking to make his international debut for Scotland this summer when he will qualify on residency grounds.
Ulster will have to be at the top of their game to overcome Edinburgh in what promises to be a mouth-watering encounter.

‘Stand up, if you hate Melbourne’

Australia, as a country, is undoubtedly a sporting giant.
Decades of Pommy-bashing – including the Shane Warne-inspired jinx held over the English cricket team for over a decade – have helped forge a rivalry of great quality, enjoyment and more often than not, torment.
But when it comes to football, Australian influence in Britain is comparatively negligible. Granted, there was Craig Johnston – the mid-80s Liverpool winger who designed the Adidas Predator – and Tim Cahill’s sporadic corner flag abuse provoked fleeting amusement. Mark Schwarzer, meanwhile, has proved a capable goalkeeper at both Middlesbrough and Fulham. Aside from this, a sprinkling of distinctly average footballers – think Brett Emerton, Lucas Neill or Vince Grella – is pretty much all Australia have had to offer.
Heading down-under, it was this dearth of flair that made it difficult to be excited about the prospect of the Hyundai A-League providing my fix of live football. The A-League is largely devoid of the stardust the likes of Thierry Henry, and of course David Beckham, have sprinkled over America’s Major League Soccer. Average yearly league attendances only just creep above the 10,000 mark, and the football is largely considered to be absolute dross.
Still, I couldn’t resist dipping my toe in the water and heading to a game – Emerton’s laser-blue clad Sydney FC against the Newcastle Jets – a local derby and a match pivotal to both sides’ play-off chances.
The standard of football was, as expected, very poor. The sluggish pace made Emerton look like Zinedine Zidane and suggested even the Jets’ bench-warmer and perma-crock Francis Jeffers wouldn’t have been out of his depth.
Yet the football aside, my A-League debut was an impressive and enjoyable experience. We stood on ‘The Cove’ – Sydney’s answer to the Stretford End – where the influence of European, and particularly British chanting, on Australian fan culture was clear. Alongside the swathes of banners and flags, the crowd of 15,000 sang songs normally heard on terraces across England at 3pm on a Saturday. Indeed, the crowd were soon enjoying a chorus of ‘‘they’re Sydney, they’re barmy, they’re off their fucking heads’’.
As the game heated up, so too did the atmosphere. Whereas it’s a heinous crime to be seen with alcohol on an English terrace, it seems tantamount to heresy to be seen without it in Australia. Stewards were also incredibly lenient with any persistent standing, and barely lifted an eye when a missile was launched at the away team’s goalkeeper after Sydney’s winning third goal – although thankfully it was only a tennis ball.
It isn’t just the football that appears to have been ‘Anglicised’ either.
Watching my adopted local Rugby League team – the South Sydney Rabbitohs – was again reminiscent of watching football at home, as the Bunnies’ fans raised their beers to ‘‘Drink a drink, to Sutton the king’’. They even had one ditty set to the irritatingly overused ‘Sloop John B’.
The parallels between English and Australian fan culture are clear. However, given that the A-League was only established in 2004 and that the Premier League has such a pervasive global influence, this is hardly surprising.
It appears that for once, the Aussies are willing to take a lead from their great Pommy rivals.

The next best student job: phone sex?

Have Channel 4 given us the golden solution to our financial troubles?

After the airing of Channel 4’s most recently discussed documentary, My Phone Sex Secrets, last month it seems the outlandish idea of phone sex appears to be a simple way to turn filth into wads of quick cash.

According to Channel 4, “phone sex is one industry booming in the face of the recession” and a job in the business can be the answer to your financial turmoil. By following the life of student Rosa, struggling to balance her loan and her life at university, and now financially self-efficient Marnie, throughout the course of the show, it isn’t difficult to see why. These girls are making serious money by whispering not-so-sweet sentiments in order to please their aroused anonymous callers. Easy money.

But, all things considered, who is the oddest in this situation – the man who rings the sex line or the female picking the phone up? The show sheds light on an unusual mode of work which has helped considerably in funding the young girls’ lives, however it also poses the question: is this sex centred career such a good idea?

Let’s think about the possible daily issues – you’re enjoying a pleasant day out one minute, then discussing whips and chains in the next; you get a call from a man, then the next from your Nan! Dream job or cringe career?

Although, 56 year old Jenny from the show loves her life as a sex symbol (well, in terms of her husky tones anyway) however, she’s pretty much single and living alone. But what about new recruit Rosa? She’s at university and loving her new found success as a call-er girl! But she turned to sex line luxuries after a childhood of military schooling. (Let’s not even get started on the yoga doing vegan who talks of becoming human toilet paper for her dodgy diallers.) Budding photographer, Marnie changed her whole opinion on the male sex completely after being exposed to all their (similar) secret fantasies.

On the brighter side, the job does have its entertaining factors, who says it has to be you who answers the phone? Many ladies enjoy creating crazy characters – how about ‘Jan’ with a food fetish from Fulham? And some people just enjoy a good old chat. No matter how you feel on the hot topic, this documentary was nothing other than entertaining; although it seems that the industry can make you rich, in the end, is it at your own expense?

Missed the show? Catch it on www.channel4.com/4od

“He made his fortune in Africa, back in the twenty-tens…”

Africa has the resources to do so. Indeed it is the richest continent in terms of natural resources, owning a sizeable chunk of the entire world’s stock of gold, 90 percent of Cobalt and 40 percent of the world’s potential hydroelectric power. Its potential labour force, of which the majority is unskilled, stands at one billion and is growing at an astonishing rate, 3,000 arrive just in Lagos each day.

It is also a place where the prosperous entrepreneur is unlikely to meet the excessive regulation he/she may encounter elsewhere. African governments are aware of the positive by-products entrepreneurship can offer their country: jobs, technology and internal growth. This is not to be confused with corruption, where government leaders see an opportunity of investment for themselves rather than for the nation.

Its prospects seem hopeful. David Cameron, in a recent visit to Nigeria, asked “Which continent has six of the ten fastest growing economies in the world? Africa is transforming in a way no one thought possible 20 years ago… and suddenly a whole new future seems within reach.”

It is quite clear the continent has the potential to define the decade, but perhaps the more important question is in what way?

The growth in Internet-based markets is the most exciting route. With a population of over one billion, largely unconnected to the Internet, growth in Internet industries is likely to flourish, reminiscent of the dot-com bubble of the late 1990s. Take broadband, for example: entire networks are waiting to be laid. E-commerce: 500m African mobile phone users are able to purchase online goods just using their basic phones. Other industries such as Mobile Money and business directories are already seeing exciting growth.

From these industries, a lot of wealth will be generated. David Rowan, editor of Wired magazine claims: “If you want to become extremely wealthy over the next five years, and you have a rudimentary grasp of technology, here’s a no-brainer: move to Africa. Seriously.”

So it seems likely that “He made his fortune in Africa, back in the twenty-tens…” will be a familiar phrase of the future.

 

Football is good entertainment but bad business

There are certain trends in modern football that we have been accustomed to, with administration being the latest.  Questions about football club finances are being raised after Port Vale, Portsmouth and Rangers have all gone into administration during the past four weeks.

Rangers have an unpaid tax bill of over £9m, whilst Portsmouth went into administration for the second time in two seasons over an unpaid tax bill of £1.6bn.  Whilst in administration, these clubs can be perceived to be in a safe haven; their debts are frozen and are temporarily protected from creditors looking to recoup their funds from the club.  Business advisory firm PKF have been appointed by Portsmouth as the administrators to run the club, making them responsible for preserving the value of the business and reaching a compromise with creditors.  As expected, this is a process that is never straightforward.

One of the main reasons why payment to creditors becomes a heated affair is due to the football creditors’ rule of the English league governing body, which states that all players and clubs that are owed money by the insolvent club are to be paid in full.  The implementation of this rule creates a hostile feeling by ‘ordinary’ creditors towards the football community.  Tax authorities, local businesses and other non-football bodies are only paid a fraction of their bills whilst football clubs are reimbursed in full.

HMRC have spoken out against this rule, labelling it as unfair and unlawful.  However, the Premier league and football league have defended the rule, arguing that it is important in preventing a domino effect that would see multiple clubs enter administration.  Whilst this argument holds, other creditors have their own debts to pay and will struggle to do so they are crossing assets owed to them by administered outfits off their own balance sheet.  The domino effect is simply being taken out of football and installed into other industries.

After the fire sale of their assets during their first spell in administration, Portsmouth does not have many assets left to rely on to improve their liquidity. This left Portsmouth facing the risk of being the first English club to go out of business since Aldershot in 1992, but the Football League has stepped in and given the championship club a £200,000 cash injection.  Although it is on a much smaller scale, the football industry is beginning to mirror the Northern Rock crisis in 2008.

HMRC used to let football clubs off the hook for this sort of behaviour because of their importance to local communities, but now that some clubs do not have the funds to pay back their communities they may be doing more harm than good. Football governing bodies need to work towards making football clubs stop adopting risky business models and teach them to be less reckless spenders.

Interview: Tommy Fish – Next year’s Activities and Development Officer

The university campus was yet again blanketed in banners before Easter, with brave candidates proclaiming the arrival of the Student Elections and vying for your votes. Whether or not you noticed the bedazzled bed sheets strung up outside the library or the ubiquitous chalkings decorating the pavement; whether or not you exercised your right to representation via student portal; votes were cast and victors were proclaimed. From the fraught results night emerged a shiny new Executive Committee, ready and willing to sell their souls to the union to make your student experience the best it can be. Or something like that.

I caught up with Tommy Fish, the university’s new Activities and Development Officer, to find out about his priorities for societies and his plans to resurrect Tupac and the Notorious B.I.G.

 

Which societies have you been most involved with while you’ve been at university?

I’m not going to try and deceive you. I haven’t been heavily involved in any societies. I’ve been fully focused on getting a 2:1, running events to pay my bills and playing football for the university. Before I came I thought I’d be heavily involved in societies but alas, it wasn’t to be. Training twice a week with a game or two a week takes it out of you, and with the events I organised I barely had to time for my Spanish degree which is why I’m here!

 

What do you think are the biggest issues facing society organisers, and how are you planning on making things easier for them?

I think their reach (or lack of) is a big problem. The Freshers fair is overcrowded, daunting and pretty hot! I get hot and bothered at the best of times, so I always bounced in and out of there like a yo-yo, and then it was as if there was no further opportunity to get involved. I will help societies put on some wicked events beyond Welcome Week and make them more appealing to both the people that think they’re too cool for them and the other students that got too intimidated in that inferno. On top of that I’ll ensure that they gain maximum exposure through social media such as Facebook and Twitter.

Due to my lack of experience with societies, my main role over the initial weeks will be to arrange individual meetings with each and every society chair so they can air their concerns to me, put across their requests, or indeed vent their spleens. That way I can do what they really want and I can go back to the drawing board to try and make it happen.

 

What experience do you have to bring to the role to make you a fantastic activities and development officer?

I’ve got a wealth experience in events and activities and I put my heart and soul into them. I set up and run Take The Whole Cake with my irreplaceable partners. We’ve run 4,000-person capacity events, work with a number of festivals and we’ve got some of the most eclectic lineups in the UK. On top of this we build innovative lighting constructions and transform venues with imaginative décor, which I can apply in a much bigger way to Pangaea. I’m going to go all out!

Beyond events, I have had two stints of 3 months and 8 months volunteering in Costa Rica as an English and PE teacher and football coach so I’m well aware of the need to for cultural sensibilities and care for the community at the grass roots level. I will be working closely with Student Action and RAG to branch out into the Manchester community and burst the Oxford Road bubble, and I’m going to set up some big charitable initiatives.

 

What would you say is the worst thing about our students union at the moment?

The sheer lack of appeal to the wider student community, and the building itself is not the prettiest…

 

And what’s the best thing about the union?

The broad range of societies it offers, the fact it runs a festival on university grounds amidst pressure from the police licensing unit, and the fact it will fight tooth and nail for students that turn it.

 

People are generally split on the idea of more Union club nights. Some are for it, citing the success of club nights at other university Unions but others say there’s enough on offer already in Manchester. What’s your position?

I think the union could do with one more Pangaea in Freshers week to balance it out, one in each term! More club-nights in the union may devalue Pangaea, and would be hard to implement in an already ridiculously saturated market where pretty much every angle is covered by the Manchester clubs. Regarding other unions, such as Leeds, they may have successful club nights throughout the year in their union, but that’s because they have the layout for it and they don’t have their own festival. It’s one or the other I’m afraid. However, I do think we could fuse the club night idea with some charity events.

 

In your manifesto you highlighted the importance of alcohol free events – what sorts of non-alcohol events would you plan on running, and how would you help societies deal with the issue of exclusion of non-drinkers at their events?

For the more relaxed of you we can do anything from chess tournaments to a trip to the Lowry museum or even visiting some of Manchester’s best parks such as Dunham Massey. For the thrill seekers we can do anything from rock climbing to blasting paintballs at each other. Fear not, I will provide a range of activities to choose from wider than the Andes.

Societies will naturally have certain events more suited to drinkers, but I will work tirelessly to ensure that there are plenty of alcohol free events and fun to be had without drinking.

 

A question from Manchester Labour Students – What role do you think party political societies should play in the wider Union/University dynamic?

I think it’s great that political parties play a role in the University dynamic. Many students feel unrepresented by this country’s less than diverse parties, so the greater the interaction the better. I would like to invite the Greens to come and help us address our profligacy with energy. However, I for one am very disillusioned by the current state of politics in this country, and I am quite frankly more likely to abstain or vote for a farce like the Monster Raving Loonies or Tempa T in the next election.

 

The Activities Officer role now includes ‘development’, which is all about leading projects that enhance student employability. What have you got in mind to get students on track to employment?

Definitely bigger student job fairs. The new General Secretary, Nick Pringle, had in his manifesto the idea of a part time jobs fair, which is an excellent idea. Relevant experience is currently just as important, if not more so, than a degree. I will be forging links with lots of employers over the summer months to facilitate this. And if all else fails there are always oilrigs or the mines in Australia. £50-£100k per year I hear, and great holidays too!

 

What are your plans for Pangaea? Any hints at what themes you’re planning?

Pimps and hoes, obviously. What better way to endear myself to female student population?

 

I’m sure Tabz (Women’s Officer) might have something to say about that…

Only kidding. On a serious note, there is absolutely no way I’m going to divulge the theme before I’ve even sat on my swivelly chair. I can assure you it will be universally accessible and trust me you will not be disappointed. Entering each room will be like transcending into a different world.

There will be entertainment far beyond the music itself and the lineup will be off the hook. It will be the first event of its kind in the city, and by far the most visually stimulating! Whether you drink or not, it will blow your senses into the next millennium.

By the way, I want to put together a dedicated creative team to help me make this happen so I will welcome any budding artists, Visual Jockeys, DJ’s, musicians to the office and we’ll set up our own workshop/gallery as our base for masterminding both festivals.

 

Who would be your dream booking for Pangaea?

Tupac and B.I.G : Back From The Dead Tour!

 

And finally… sum up your plan/aim for next year in less than 10 words

I will definitely make it a year to remember.

Creepy Children’s Books

One rainy April morn I plucked from some dim corridor of my mind memories of books I read as a wee bairn. Munching sweets and quaffing coke as I undoubtedly did while reading them, some of the more disturbing aspects didn’t quite manage to penetrate the mighty wall of sugar that spewed forth from my eyeballs. As a 21 year old bairn, they irk me somewhat.

Stig of the Dump

‘Fucking sweet as’, I thought as an eight year old: ‘a fucking caveman’. It sounded great: makin’ fire, catchin’ burglars, improvin’ dens, all with a new caveman friend. Never did it occur to me why there was a caveman in Barney’s dump. Never, in fact, does it occur to Barney. Had Stig travelled through time? Is Stig even real, or a figment of his imagination? The answer is either a screwed up kid or physics far too advanced for this age group. Eery.

Tom’s Midnight Garden

In Narnia-esque fashion, Tom is sent to a country house where he discovers a realm of unparalleled fantasy. In non-Narnia-esque fashion, it’s not utter shite. His loneliness is rectified when the clock strikes twelve and a magical garden materialises behind the house, a place where he regularly returns to meet the same girl at varying ages. As dark as it is nonchalant in its weaving of the tale of a ghost girl’s psychologically projected magical garden, it’s a disconcerting, ambiguous mystery, and one that’ll have you shifting in your seat. A really beautiful book, but unnerving.

A Dog So Small

How this is for kids baffles me. It is traumatising in no smaller degree than it is sad. An autistic boy desperately, desperately wants a dog, but it is disallowed because of his disability. He so wants a dog; he would really, really love a dog; it’s all he wants in the whole world. It’s the only thing that would make him happy. The punchline to this book: he doesn’t get a dog. It’s heartbreaking!

5 Children and It

It seems like there should be a morally-edifying-cautionary-tale aspect to this book, but it’s not entirely clear what it is. Released in 1902 this is to all extents and purposes Victorian, and they didn’t screw around. If they weren’t sending kids up chimneys they were drawing terrifying gargoyle creatures that give spookily clad children ‘wishes’. Again, it’s the lack of information that’s unsettling about this. What the hell is a ‘Psammead’, the ‘it’ of the title, and where did it come from? Creepy devil monsters prattling on about the Stone Age and almost getting kids scalped isn’t a line of narrative that would fly for the children’s publishers of 2012.

Watership Down

Containing Nazi allusions, warren destruction and a few shoulder-shrug rabbit deaths, this one never sat well with me. For anyone who read String Lug the Fox, it’s written with that same air of threat all the way through. Rabbits are vulnerable little things, and you can’t be certain they’re all going to be happy little hoppers by the end. It’s always possible they’ll happily hop their way under the wheels of truck or hippity-skip in front of the barrel of a shotgun. The blatant TV rip-off, The Animals of Farthing Wood, was equally harrowing.

Review: The Flame Alphabet by Ben Marcus

In Ben Marcus’s first novel in a decade, language becomes toxic. The poison spreads slowly; at first it’s only children’s speech that causes mild symptoms of nausea, but soon all forms of writing, music, code, and sign language produce lethal effects. Even telling facial expressions can induce fits. With society crumbling, only children under the age of eighteen are left immune, corralled into city quarantines and guarded by the last few emaciated guards left alive.

It’s a bleak and thought-provoking set-up. It’s also deeply philosophical; it’s only once you realise that the toxicity is derived from the comprehension, not the existence, of language that the true scope of the author’s ambitions are revealed: how could humanity survive in a world where communication has become impossible? Is there anything besides language?

Unfortunately, this ambition also proves to be Marcus’s undoing. Instead of being a fluid vehicle for his ideas, Marcus treats his narrative as an annoyance that might just go away if he ignores it. Whole chapters are encumbered, plodding, obvious set pieces for the author to awkwardly hoist his grandiose linguistic insights on. Glaring plot holes, we assume, can be explained away as the insanely sane narrator’s fractured take on the disintegration of society. Without a proper in-world rationale however – and an absence of likeable characters – what results is a kind of humourless nihilism that the shaky plot does little to make up for. A laziness surrounds the many loose ends that is incongruous with the richness of themes on offer.

Kafka looms large over the novel, but Marcus’s gift for metaphor is infinitely more muddied. Allusions are either patronisingly transparent; as in the guilt represented by the narrator’s wife, or infuriatingly opaque; as in the Jewish element to the sickness. Middle ground, where forward momentum is married to clarifying representation, is painfully lacking. Later, when Marcus begins to borrow more liberally from Vonnegut, minus the charm, this literary form of self-harm comes across as puerile.

By the final chapters it’s clear that despite its brilliant premise, The Flame Alphabet is less than the sum of its influences. The resulting sickly hobble to the finish line offers neither closure, nor raises enough of the right questions to warrant much yearning for it. In the end, it becomes a mystery you find yourself wishing would just end, rather than be explained. And that, thankfully, the book can do.

Saturday night, Sunday morning

3 stars

Despite what Hollywood’s version of history would have us believe, James Dean did not invent the angst-ridden rebel without a cause. Saturday Night, Sunday Morning, the play based on the 1958 novel, aptly demonstrates this. Set during post-war Britain, the plot revolves around Arthur Seaton, a carefree young factory worker whose sexual appetite is never satisfied and often lands him into trouble. Though it doesn’t quite live up to the iconic film adaptation, director Matthew Dunster’s effort is nonetheless an impressive show.

Portrayed by This Is England star Perry Fitzpatrick, Seaton spends his wages getting drunk, buying expensive suits and womanizing. His love interest is the married Brenda and it appears as toxic as it is genuine – as genuine as Seaton can be that is.

Fitzpatrick’s performance is a mixed bag. At times it’s captivating, matching the larger-than-life character he plays. But he’s instantly dislikable, and all too often crosses the line of the guy you love to hate to the guy you just plain hate. Anti-heroes like Seaton only work if they have some kind likability about them. Instead, his boorish manor exposes little human compassion, and the audience is left staggered and irritated as to how he attracts so many women, rather than impressed.

The most iconic moment – the home abortion scene – is perhaps a little drawn out, but it is well-executed and delivers the harrowing subject in a delicate manor.

Despite its flaws, the theme of a disillusioned youth, staring at a bleak future in the Cold War setting whilst witnessing Britain’s international decline, holds the story together well. The soundtrack, the teddy boy outfits, and the casual sexism all come together to bring the 1950s to life. The small, adaptive stage is superbly utilised too, ensuring a display that is visually engaging throughout.

This is a slick piece of theatre that captures the product of the emerging affluent working-class youth of the time well. All that’s lacking – and it is a serious omission – is the heart of the story. Unfortunately, this does put it some way behind both the novel and the film adaptation.

Live: 2:54 @ Deaf Institute

2:54
The Deaf Institute
4th April
4 stars

The moment London-based 2:54 appear on stage there is a change in the wind; a sudden tension in the air. A low mumble of chatter turns to silence as guitar comes fast, dark and moody. This is melancholy lo-fi pop. A killer combination.

Sisters Collette and Hannah Thurlow make up one half of the band whilst drummer Alex Robbins and bassist Joel Porter form the other, keeping things gender neutral. Guitarist Hannah is every bit a rock’n’roll dream in black leather while lead singer Collette is equally as enthralling; with lips painted crimson and clothed in a long white silk dress. It is a struggle to take my eyes off of her, but somehow I manage it, and with a sweeping glance to the audience it is clear that I am not the only one transfixed. Ladies and gents alike are drawn to both her wavering voice and dramatic, beautifully hostile, singing style.

A perfect complement to the haunting vocals is the unrelenting guitar: distorted, serious and at its most unsettling on ‘Creeping’. Familiar songs seem to take on a new life, becoming close to unrecognisable at times, lifted by the atmosphere of it all. It isn’t until the chorus of ‘Cold Front’ that I realise I’ve even heard the song before. If they can capture the same sentiment on record, they’ll be on to a good thing.

In keeping with the bands brooding image, conversation is kept to a minimum. The atmosphere is only broken when necessary by singer Collette, to whisper the name of a song or to thank the crowd in soft London tones. Although some people prefer their live music with a side of comedy, this is a band that certainly doesn’t need to be funny.

2:54 – You’re Early

Live: Cast @ HMV Ritz

Cast
HMV Ritz
4th April
4 stars

Upon mentioning to a friend about my attendance at the Cast gig in Manchester’s impressive HMV Ritz venue, “Cast who?” was their immediate response. Cast were a 1990s Liverpool brit-pop band who spent much of their time flying under the radar of the bigger bands of the era, such as Oasis and Blur. Yet with the ubiquitous Noel Gallagher once describing watching this band’s live performance as a “religious experience”, Cast are one of those bands with more hits than you realize. Recently reforming has produced the new album Troubled Times, which is no departure from their set formula of 60s-tinged guitar pop – a blueprint attributed to many other bands originating from the shores of the Mersey.

The gig began with support band Cold Shoulder who undoubtedly gained to their growing fan base. The three-piece’s quiet-loud rock contrast transfers well to the anticipatory audience.

Cast begin with three new songs, a bold move which ultimately results in a slow start. Older hits such as ‘Finetime’ and the irresistibly catchy ‘Guiding Star’ follow shortly though, gaining a more vociferous crowd response. A mid set lull consisting of the mid-tempo newer songs is broken up with the melancholic ‘Walkaway,’ as the distinctive tight-harmonies of the band shine through.

However, arguably the band’s biggest hit ‘Alright’ is saved for the encore. This is the highlight of the set, as the sheer energy and positivity of the song earns the biggest cheers of the night. Testament to the experienced live performance of Cast is how well newer songs such as ‘See That Girl’ sound in a live setting, emerging with a much fuller sound than is heard on record. An impressive instrumental showpiece closes the show, as each member departs the stage consecutively, climaxing with an epic three minute drum solo. Cast’s guitar-pop sound may be nothing new, but the musicianship and energy in their live performance makes for a thoroughly enjoyable night.

Cast – Time Bomb

Live: Wale @ Club Academy

29th March 2012

Club Academy

6/10

In my own experience, live U.S. hip hop and reliability haven’t exactly gone hand-in-hand. Last summer, Wu-Tang Clan took to the Academy 1 stage an hour late whilst Kid Cudi gave just twenty-four hours notice, and no explanation, when he cancelled a hotly-anticipated Club Academy appearance in 2010.

As a result, the most striking feature of tonight’s show is Wale’s consummate professionalism. Arriving a mere ten minutes after his scheduled stage time, he and his hype man launch straight into ‘The Problem’, the opening track from last year’s More About Nothing mixtape. It’s an appropriate choice, especially given Wale’s career to date can be summed up in the lyric “I made my mistakes, you see life’s lemons often come in abundance”. He’d easily be excused for thinking he’d used up his career supply of lemons already; after the Seinfeld-inspired Mixtape About Nothing promised to put the Washington D.C. rap scene on the map and mark out Wale as one of the next great rap superstars, he saw his major-label debut, Attention Deficit, flop commercially despite a warm critical reception. His reinvention since has been impressive. After signing to Maybach Music Group alongside Rick Ross, Wale’s sophomore LP Ambition dominates the setlist tonight, with ‘90210’, ‘Miami Nights’ and ‘Chain Music’ meeting with a fervent response, whilst mellower, phones-in-the-air moments are provided by the title track as well as lead single ‘Lotus Flower Bomb’.

There is no doubting Wale’s talent and his ability to translate it into a live environment. Lyrically astute and with impressive flow, the hype is certainly justified as far as ability is concerned. It’s a shame, then, that Wale engages in minimal crowd interaction despite the venue’s intimacy, and plays for little over an hour before disappearing with scant acknowledgement for the fans. Wale has extensive live experience, having toured with Mark Ronson and Jay-Z; if only he drew on it, he could be providing one of the slickest live hip hop experiences on the circuit.

Wale – Lotus Flower Bomb

Palestinians should be the first to support the Syrians

Over the last several decades, Palestine has been in the world’s spotlight with Arab states paying especially close attention.  Even while under oppressive Arab regimes, Arab people have remained faithful to Palestine. This loyalty has shown itself as the Arab people have begun to take to the streets, in order to demand their rights.  The Palestinian flag and the call for Palestinian freedom were featured in the demonstrations in Tunisia, Libya, Egypt, Yemen, and Syria. But, in light of this support, what have Palestinian citizens and more specifically the Palestinian government given in return, especially in the case of the ongoing struggle in Syria?

 

The Palestinian government has not officially expressed its stance on the situation in Syria. Even when the Arab League met to make decisions on the Syrian situation, Palestine did not contribute.  The official position of Palestine as a nation, both in the West Bank and Gaza, simply does not exist. Leaders in the West Bank (led by Fatah) sustain a good relationship with Arab regimes and therefore prioritize those ties over the opinions of the Palestinian people, while the leadership in Gaza (led by Hamas) fears losing the bold support of the Syrian government for Hamas, and so has continued its loyalty through silence.

 

Despite the concerns and interests of the political parties here, the support of the Palestinian people generally lies with the anti-government movement in Syria, as we cannot help but empathize with the people of Syria given our own struggle.  However, when it comes to vocalizing this support, we hear very little.

 

During the Second Intifada, a Palestinian resistance movement, and the years directly following (2000-2010), 6,422 people were killed by the Israeli military, including women, children, medical personnel, journalists, and internationals.  The number of Palestinians injured during this period totals 17,783.  In addition to injuries and fatalities, arrests were also frequent with over 50,000 Palestinians having been arrested since the beginning of the Second Intifada.  During this time, as Palestinians, we were astounded at the lack of response from the global community in the face of such violence.

 

Beginning in March 2011, Syrian people began to resist an unjust government by taking to the streets and demanding freedom and the resignation of the Syrian president, Bashar al-Assad.  The Syrian regime, like the Israeli military during the Second Intifada, has responded violently against demonstrators and besieged cities such as, Dira’a, Hama, and Homs.  It is difficult to receive accurate information from Syria due to the escalating levels of violence, yet the numbers of casualties that have been confirmed are shocking, with UN official Lynn Pascoe reporting that casualties are “certainly well over 7,500″ with the death toll exceeding 100 a day as of February 28, 2012.  Many websites have reported sources on the ground in Syria claiming that in fact more than 9,000 people are dead with 35,000 people reportedly having been injured.

 

At the beginning of the Second Intifada, there were six or seven people killed on average every day; we complained of the world’s silence and this is only a small fraction of the approximately 100 people killed daily in Syria.  And yet the suffering of the people at the hands of a military assault against entire cities is the same in both cases.  While the occupation of Palestine is ugly, the tyranny of the Syrian regime is no less ugly.

 

Even with these striking similarities between the two events, the Palestinian governments do not have a clear position on Syria.  As it is not a recognized state, the Palestinian government cannot give much aid to the Syrian people but the one thing that it can and should give is our support.  While it can be difficult for Palestinians to look beyond the occupation, as it is more personal than outside issues, in order to be heard you must also listen.  How can the people of Palestine and the Palestinian government expect others to stand up with us, if we are unwilling to do the same?

 

 

Three’s a Crowd at the top of the Championship

With only six games to go in the npower Championship the conundrum of three into two is becoming more and more apparent, as the race at the top of the table reaches its tumultuous conclusion. Behind the runaway triumvirate had sat a congestion of four teams all on 63 points, and a substantial number more within striking distance of the remaining playoff places, but Birmingham’s victory last night has seen them pull three points away from rest of the chasing pack.

Having been hotly-tipped in the pre-season, two of the early favourites fell afoul of the traditional managerial merry-go-round which saw Sven-Goran Eriksson replaced by the returning Nigel Pearson at the helm of Leicester City in November. The move didn’t prove a huge inspiration to either the Foxes or Hull City, who have nosedived of late, winning only one of their last ten. Middlesbrough’s early promise evaporated and their inability to source goals from anyone other than Marvin Emnes has been the major reason behind their stagnation. Ollie’s Tangerine Army have endured a topsy-turvy campaign, starting slowly, but now right in the mix, having swept aside Southampton in the BBC’s late kick-off last Saturday.

Talking of Southampton, that result aside, the Saints have proved the shock of the season. Their combination of fluid, passing football, the limitless stream of goals from the boot of Rickie Lambert, and the much unheralded tutelage of Nigel Adkins have seen the south-coast club sit two points clear at the top of the table, on the verge of successive promotions. Lambert himself recently applauded the work of his the left wing accomplice, Adam Lallana, after receiving the award for the Football League player of the season. A solid central defensive partnership of Jos Hooiveld and José Fonte, with the artistry of Jack Cork sat just in front of them have provided the prefect base for the bludgeoning ability of Lambert, guile of Lallana, and the occasionally mercurial talents of the enigmatic Guly Do Prado.

Indeed Southampton have been this year’s surprise package but Reading, on the other hand, have trodden this path before. Perennially there or thereabouts come the business end of the season, the recent acquisition of Premiership stalwart Jason Roberts has proven to be as shrewd as they come. The Grenadan international has not only added much needed goals, but become the all-important target man able to hold the ball up and bring flair players such as Jimmy Kébé and Jobi McAnuff to the fore; even if he has recently received a ribbing for his penalty-taking prowess. One may have thought that with the decline in interest of chairman John Madejski, coinciding with the sales of last seasons’ imperious club captain Matt Mills, and top-scorer Shane Long would bring a period of mediocrity, but Brian McDermott’s side are made of stronger stuff. Previous unsung heroes Noel Hunt, Jem Karacan, and Ian Harte, amongst others, have come together to form the nucleus of a squad rid of demonstrative egos; their togetherness displayed by the club’s recent ascent up the table, winning eight of their last ten games.

The same, however, cannot be said for the galacticos of West Ham United, whose seemingly endless run of draws was brought to an end last week with victory at Peterborough, only for the Hammers to lose ground on their close rivals once more, with a crushing home defeat at the hands of the Royals, via some less than assured work from Robert Green. Whilst so many clubs in English football’s second tier scrimp and save in prayerful hope of ‘doing a Blackpool’, the Upton Park faithful are faltering whilst having an abundance of quality to choose from. The club possess an unheralded wealth of gifted strikers in the mould of former England international Carlton Cole, proven Championship performer Nicky Maynard, young talent Sam Baldock, and the volatile but skilful Ricardo Vaz Té, with whom Allardyce has experience from his days at Bolton. That firepower alone should have been more than enough to see the club sitting pretty with six games to go.

But what of Big Sam’s budget breakers? The ubiquitous high-earner John Carew has proved less than effective, netting only twice, and more than living up to his reputation of being a regular inhabitant of the club Jacuzzi, and little else. Kevin Nolan, no longer combined with his partners in crime, messrs Carroll and Barton, but back under the wing of his old custodian, has found life in the second tier slightly tougher than his first experience, two seasons ago. Never mind Freddie Sears, Frank Nouble, and the man who had provided the goals which nearly retained the club’s premiership status last season – Frederic Piquionne – who now finds himself ostracised on loan at relegation-threatened Doncaster Rovers. This combination of West Ham’s style of play, players, and most of all, Big Sam’s inability to muster even a flicker of a smile have meant the Claret and Blues have not endeared themselves to the rest of the division. Nevertheless the burly manager is still within striking distance of an automatic promotion spot, and with Southampton and Reading due to play each other on April 13th, the old warhorse and his big-money men may yet be able to scrape through.

Neutrals may argue that the standard has not been as good this year, with no pull-away teams in the mould of Newcastle in 2009/10, but this season has been more competitive than ever. Big sides packed with stars have failed to mount a serious charge, whilst a number of the less affluent clubs are still there or thereabouts, with the race almost run, displayed by the fact that Burnley, down in 16th, are still mathematically harbouring hopes of playoff qualification. One thing’s for certain, there’s still plenty of twists and turns to come.