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Day: 1 March 2013

Should we care who #ManchesterVotes for?

Written by Andrew Williams on . Posted in Features.

Casting a long shadow over Oxford Road, for fifty weeks of the year our Students’ Union stands imposingly but with all the character of a drab Soviet-style monolith. Over the coming fortnight, the Steve Biko Building will be afforded a rare splash of colour as election candidates plaster over the grey façade with hastily-painted bed sheets bearing ‘punbelievable’ slogans.

Planning on sidestepping the election fever? Think again. If the multitude of banners and posters are not enough to permeate your consciousness (and trust me, they will – try going to the toilet on campus over the next two weeks without forcibly staring at some manifesto or other), leaflets will be thrust towards you from every direction, advertising candidates for positions you didn’t even know existed. Leaving the library will become akin to running the gauntlet.

You could, of course, try walking briskly through the mêlée with your gaze fixed firmly on the concrete, but still you will not escape. Each morning, virtually every pavement within striking distance of the University will be covered in scrawled chalk markings, only for the infamous Manchester rain to descend each afternoon and wash away the graffiti. The futility of it all – a metaphor, the cynics would doubtless suggest, for student politics itself.

Yes, it’s that time of year again. 47 candidates are set to do battle over eight coveted positions on next year’s University of Manchester Students’ Union executive, with voting opening on Friday morning. To some extent, the election will be a referendum on the record of the current executive; those standing are likely to have a view on the successes of their predecessors, but will inevitably be keen to position themselves in terms of how they believe they can take things forward.

The Class of 2013/14 should now have all of the tools to do so. Purely in terms of facilities, the Union building itself has been improved exponentially since I arrived in Manchester back in the dark ages of September 2009. The ground floor had long been a decrepit husk, and twelve months ago it lay empty as work began on transforming the space into the sparkling environment we have at our disposal today.

Manchester SU, for so long an area which students shied away from, has been rejuvenated as a result of multi-million pound investment. The area now radiates warmth, encouraging people who never would have set foot in the building previously to pop in for a coffee between lectures. Superficial? Perhaps, but this will undoubtedly lend itself to establishing the Students’ Union as the epicentre of university democracy that we rightly expect.

Nonetheless, it is not always entirely clear what the Union is for – or, for that matter, what the executive are working towards on a day-to-day basis. Alex Peters-Day, outgoing General Secretary of the London School of Economics (LSE) Students’ Union, is unequivocal about how she sees the role of Unions across the country.

“Some people say SU’s shouldn’t be political. Tell that to the students who queued through the night to register with the police due to the UK Border Agency’s draconian visa regulations; to the students who have their living grants cut whilst paying extortionate fees; to liberation officers who transform students’ lives both on and off campus,” she argues.

Ms Peters-Day continues, forcefully: “Student politics genuinely has the power to change the world. Unions are political entities; their sole reason for existence is campaigning for better rights for students.”

In September, a second fresh-faced cohort of undergraduates paying £9,000 per year for the privilege of studying here will land; quite rightly, they will be demanding more for their money. It is a salient fact which will undoubtedly see students lobbying their Union for a higher quality of teaching spread over more contact hours, and that in turn will see expectations of our student officers soar.

With this in mind, it is both hoped and anticipated that there will be a marked improvement on last year’s unspectacular turnout of 7,953 students when the polls close on March 14. If a surge in participation materialises, significant scrutiny will be trained on the manifestos of those who emerge victorious; the next executive will not necessarily inherit the cushy number some of them might be expecting.

“Being in a leadership position comes with many, many negative points,” Ms Peters-Day tells me, confirming my suspicion that the role of student officer is a thankless task on some levels.

“From students who take it upon themselves to declare some sort of personal vendetta against you, to not really having much of a ‘private life’, the whole experience can be a little draining and you end up involved in a lot of trivial rubbish from time to time.”

Nor is it a path to riches, with the bounty for members of the University of Manchester exec set at just £16,600 per year. Some will take a sabbatical from their degree to take up the role; others will postpone the end of their student days for one final year.

Whilst the majority of those involved harbour laudable aims and care passionately about their ‘zones’, student politicians have long had their underlying motives questioned. If, as Henry Kissinger famously put it, “university politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small,” there are bound to be politicians-in-training lurking amongst their more benevolent colleagues.

Shadow Business Secretary Chuka Umunna, who studied Law and French at the University of Manchester just over a decade ago, felt this more keenly than most. He told The Mancunion last year: “I never got majorly involved in the internal Students’ Union politics, because – maybe slightly cynically so – I thought there were too many people involved with it who were career politicians, who were more interested in the arguing amongst each other as opposed to actually acting as a voice and representing the students they purported to speak for.”

It is something which Alex Peters-Day, herself a Students’ Union President, has recognised. “I think there can be some people who see being an SU officer as ‘playing politics’, in that it’s a place where they can practice their lobbying skills or public speaking,” she regrets. “It’s a real shame because in actuality student politicians can be some of the most talented people I’ve ever had the privilege of working with.”

Liam Burns, soon-to-be former NUS President, gave The Mancunion a slightly different take on the issue. “The idea that someone would be President of a Students’ Union purely on the back of career prospects is ridiculous, because the opportunity cost of doing it is massive. You do it because you’re passionate and you want to change things for students. I can assure you I’m paid a shit wage, I work ridiculous hours – as do everyone in this building – and as do sabbatical student officers.”

That said, Burns is honest enough to accept that personal ambition played at least some part in his ascent to the top of NUS. “I think it would be disingenuous to say that you don’t look at these things,” he admits.

As you might expect, Manchester SU has provided a springboard for the careers of several illustrious public figures. Veteran newsreader Anna Ford, who went on to hold the Chancellorship of the University of Manchester, has cited her time as a student officer as a huge fillip for her career. “I was offered jobs by the BBC when I graduated from university in 1966, simply because I’d been President of the Students’ Union,” she told BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs last year. “I was continually being asked down the road in Manchester to their studios to explain what was happening in the student world, so they knew who I was.”

Paul Monaghan, now Head of Sustainable Development at the Co-operative, graduated from campaigning for university campuses to boycott Lloyds and Midland banks in protest at third world debt levels, to find himself at the forefront of the ethical banking sector. Meanwhile Richard Hawkes, Chief Executive of the charity SCOPE, has drawn on his time as President of the SU from 1986-88 in leading the fight against government cuts to disability benefits.

Of course, there are politicians aplenty amongst our SU alumni. Labour MPs Phil Woolas and John Mann both served on the executive, as did the party’s one-time political advisor Derek Draper. More recently, former Cabinet minister Liam Byrne fulfilled the now-defunct role of Communications Officer. It is a touch ironic, given his Students’ Union portfolio, that Byrne is now infamous for a misjudged piece of communication; a note left to his successor as Chief Secretary to the Treasury, which read, ‘Dear Chief Secretary, I’m afraid to tell you there’s no money left. Good luck!’ Tongue-in-cheek, certainly, but ill-timed in the midst of a deep and painful recession.

For all of the career considerations and status calculations – never underestimate the future politician’s desire to be a ‘big name on campus’ – it is the intrinsic value of the role which drives most of those who stand in student elections. Despite misgivings over her years in student politics, Ms Peters-Day tells me: “I love the diversity of the things that I work on. In any given day I might be chairing a meeting, picking out artwork for a campaign, meeting with senior figures in the university and community, supporting our liberation officers and holding a society event briefing. You do such a lot and no day is the same, which is really exciting.”

For full coverage of the elections, keep up to date on www.mancunion.com. You can get involved on Twitter by using the hashtag #ManchesterVotes

BUCS Gatorade Nationals: Report

Written by Mancunion on . Posted in Sport.

BOXING

by Guy Michels

Lukasz Posnik returned from Sheffield’s Don Valley Stadium as the new BUCS 71Kg novice boxing champion. In what was a highly exciting encounter the UoM student overcame Shay McCartney of Sheffield Hallam to claim an unanimous points decision.

The opening round saw both fighters trade punches, with the Hallam boxer looking to take the fight to his Manchester opponent. However, it was Posnik who landed the cleaner shots, and towards the close of the first stanza began to gain the ascendancy through the use of his superior jab and dangerous straight.

The opening minute of the second round continued in a similar pattern with the UoM student repelling his opponent’s advances with flurries of well timed punches. Sensing his growing superiority Posnik upped the ante, and it wasn’t long until a crisp combination forced McCartney to take a standing 8 count. Despite being momentarily shaken the Hallam boxer recovered well and even caught Posnik with a couple of powerful shots before the end of the round.

Following one last debrief from the corner the duo returned to the centre of the ring for the final two minutes of what had been an action packed fight. Both men knew they still had a chance of claiming the victory, but fortunately for Posnik the final round continued in much the same vein of the previous two. The UoM student again landed the more telling blows and kept out of harms way, to the frustration of his tiring opponent.

With the final bell signalling the end of the fight, it was of little surprise to hear all the judges scoring in favour of the UoM student, whose record now stands at 6 wins from 8 outings. After the fight a clearly delighted Posnik was quick to thank everyone from the University, as well as Moss Side Fire Station Boxing Club, for all their support and help over the past three years.

SWIMMING

by Ella Stone

This year has seen yet another successful BUCS long course championship for the University of Manchester swimming team. Not only did we finish in 6th place overall behind the 5 ITCs (intensive training centres), but we were also only 23 points behind Bath University – a notable achievement.

Some stand out swims to mention include Jen Titterington, who had multiple top 10 finishes including the 800 freestyle, 400IM and 200 fly, as did Vicky Garlick in the 200IM, 400 and 200 freestyle, and Daniel Mills in the 1500 and 400 freestyle. Other swimmers that gained those valuable point scoring top 10 finishes include Ella Stone in the 50, 100, and 200 backstroke, Yasmin Bithrey in the 100 fly, and Jess Powell in the 100 breastroke.

Rebecca Guy also produced some impressive individual swims, not only making the final for the 50 breastroke but also winning a silver medal in the 50 freestyle and a bronze in the 100 freestyle, adding to her medal collection from previous BUCS championships. Leni Papadopoulos also won the multidisciplinary 100 fly and 200 IM as well as breaking both the British and European records in the 200 fly in a time of 2.41.41.

Once again our relay teams produced some great results, with both freestyle teams progressing to the A final. The girls (Ella Stone, Rebecca Guy, Vicky Garlick and Yasmin Bithrey) finished 4th missing out on a medal by only a second and the boys (Tom Moss, Justin Craig, James Garland and Danny Mills) finished 9th. Both teams also broke club records in this event, and over the whole weekend six club records were broken, showing how the swimming team is not only keeping up with the competition in the pool but also improving consistently on our own achievements. So, overall the BUCS weekend saw some fantastic swims, and the team looks forward to achieving even higher next year.

TRAMPOLINING

by Andrew Georgeson

The University of Manchester trampoline club, captained by Camren Williams, returned from the 2013 BUCS Open in Sheffield with their first trophy victory for over five years. The competition was split into five categories based on experience and the top twelve from each category would go onto receive a place in Sunday’s final. Should a team get 3 or more competitors through from the top 4 categories competing, they would then form a team which would go on to compete on the Sunday.

The competition was fierce with some categories having nearly 200 competitors in, making Manchester’s achievements all the more impressive. Manchester men’s squad had a brilliant weekend with Matty Burton, Paul Quarton and Chris Wort all progressing through to the final and ultimately coming away national champions in the team event.

Although the women’s team got three competitors through to Sunday’s final in Ruth Shevelan, Dawn Pickavance and Katey Phillps, the difference in categories they performed in unfortunately meant they were not eligible to form a team. First-year student Alice O’Grady had this to say about the weekend. ‘It was a great experience to perform in front of a massive audience, and we were extremely proud as a team to come away with such a brilliant result and get so many competitors through to the finals.’

The team would also like to pass on their thanks to coach Sarah Scott who travelled with the team to Sheffield.

OTHER SPORTS

by Matthew Barber

ATHLETICS
Sport scholars Scott Wong and Jack Andrew were the standout UoM achievers at the EIS, as both made the final of their respective events. Wong finished 4th in the final of the shot putt, while Andrew, a decathlete by trade, came 5th in both the pole vault and 60m hurdles. Having battled through tough heats, this was an excellent achievement by the two athletes.

JUDO
It was a succesful weekend for the Judo team, as Rosana Dutkiewicz and Sigita Zigure won gold medals in each of their individual weight categories and Steven Woltering claimed a bronze.

KARATE
The karate team celebrated a great championship at Sheffield’s Ponds Forge. The women’s team were awarded the bronze in Kumite, whilst individuals Christina Finta, Erica Pericas-Hewitt, Holly Carey and Victoria Ogunseitan secured further bronze medals in their various Kumite categories. Plus, Brian Kayanga went on to secure the gold medal in the Men’s Senior Kumite.

BOWLING
Chris Lam put in a top performance to reclaim his gold medal in the men’s individual ten pin bowling.

FENCING
Fencer Mihai Rascu picked up silver after a fantastic performance in men’s foil event.

BADMINTON
Ben Dolman reached the quarter finals of the men’s individual tournament but was knocked out by Manchester graduate, now Leeds postgraduate, Jamie Bonsels, who finished 2nd overall.

 

Interview: Jack Savoretti

Written by Phoebe Clarke on . Posted in Music.

“You always have to up your game when playing an English crowd – they’re unique” explains Indie breakthrough Jack Savoretti. Lounging in one of the many cafés amid the concrete monster that is Salford’s Media City, he describes his UK experiences touring alongside Jake Bugg as distinctive. “I always find the English tougher because they’re very used to good music, whereas in other parts of the world, they’re not as spoilt for choice.” We’re flattered.

However, with three successful studio albums under his belt as well as world tours supporting Gavin DeGraw and Corinne Bailey Rae, Jack Savoretti is no stranger to recognition, earning comparisons to Simon and Garfunkel and Bob Dylan for his lyrical fluidity. He comments humbly “it’s always flattering to get any comparison like that, granted a little silly. Although Simon & Garfunkel was the first time that I heard music and thought wow, this means something. It stopped me in my tracks – they were the main reason I started song-writing.”

Many of his songs have featured in TV series, including the OC and the Postgrad, “I studied cinematography at university and my dream was always to put music to film. A soundtrack can make or break a movie and it’s definitely something I’d like to explore further in the future. Simon & Garfunkel’s soundtrack to the Graduate made it one of my favourite movies growing up. It blew my mind.”

Albeit ‘silly’ to the Italian stallion, the comparisons to old greats are certainly well-founded. Describing song-writing as make-up that colours lyrical intensity, Savoretti explains how he was never very musical, instead preferring poetry for artistic expression. “I used to scribble a lot of free verses. However, a poem is a very intimate thing to ask someone to read. People have a lot more time for what you want to say if it’s carried by music.”

It is precisely these poetical parallels that give Savoretti’s writing such raw authenticity. He continues “thoughts on a page are freer rather than in a rhyme scheme. Free verse poetry is like complete freedom and I still enjoy it for that but whenever I want to share things I put it into a song! Song-writing is a craft and has been done a lot of times but if it means something to you then it’s likely that it’ll mean something to someone else too.”

This ethos is shown no better than by his newest single ‘Not Worthy’ that embodies a self-deprecating yet personal message. “Not Worthy is about looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking what a prat, how did I end up here? Why have I done these things? It ended up being quite self-reflective. Everyone can be a prick sometimes and these songs are my way of saying sorry. I think that’s the reason why their connecting more than anything else – they’re genuine.” Time has also seen Savoretti develop a more stripped-back sound. “I’ve slowly tried to go more towards the band sound. Every song you hear on Before the Storm is one full take. It’s four or five guys in a room, locking the door and pressing record – it’s real.”

However, with a new album on the horizon produced by Adele’s bass player and musical director Sam Dixon, Savoretti promises to “take it up a notch in terms of sound elegance”, involving some experimental collaborations. “I was in the studio yesterday with DJ Fresh. He’s an old friend and so we did a song together which is going to sound nuts if it’s ever released!” We have high hopes.

The Good, the Bad and the Krunchy

Written by Jay Meros on . Posted in Food & Drink.

STORY THE FIRST – KRUNCHY FRIED CHICKEN – FALLOWFIELD – MEAL OF CHOICE – NUMBER 4 (with a drink)

Fillet burger meal,

Or possibly a snack box,

I would die for you.

 

STORY THE SECOND – SPICE KITCHEN – CURRY MILE – PREFERRED MEAL – £2 DONNER

Whenever I’m drunk,

Two pounds for meat, salad, bread,

Value tastes so good.

 

STORY THE THIRD – DIXY CHICKEN – FALLOWFIELD – PREFERRED MEAL – JUST CHIPS

Chicken can’t compete,

Not awful, but not unique,

Get me to Krunchy.

 

STORY THE FOURTH – TJ’S FAST FOOD – PICCADILLY – PREFERRED MEAL – ANYTHING FROM A BIN

I came to you once,

Watery fish and raw chips,

I’ll never again.

 

STORY THE FINAL – SANGAM’S – CURRY MILE – PREFERRED MEAL – CHEESY CHIPS WITH MANGO SAUCE

The staple of youth,

Better kebabs than Abdul’s,

Cheesy chips, divine.

The best thing/worst thing I’ve ever seen on stage

Written by Hannah Lawrence on . Posted in Theatre.

The Best: Orpheus Descending at Manchester Royal Exchange

 

Its weird, I would have thought it would be hard to decide what the best thing I’ve ever seen on stage is. However, despite having seen some good performances I can confidently say that the Royal Exchange’s production of Orpheus Descending last year was by far the best thing I’ve ever seen on stage. I was sent to review it for this paper and went in knowing absolutely nothing about the play, not knowing what to expect. I ended up seeing it twice and am now writing a dissertation on it. Without the Mancunion I have no idea what state my dissertation would be in, to be quite honest. Set in small town southern America it captures a sense of American mysticism which has always fascinated me. In the central female role, the mentally unstable wife of a local dry goods store owner ‘Lady’, Imogen Stubbs was pretty incredible. I don’t usually believe in one actor/actress being able to make a play but in this case I’m going to let go of that and say that she really did.

 

The Worst: Romeo and Juliet (with Puppets) at the Contact Theatre

 

Okay, so last week Rosie Panter cited the exact same play as the worst thing she’d ever seen on stage, but I don’t want you to think of this as mere copying. This is actually testament to how truly bad the whole performance was. Don’t get me wrong, I could see where they were going and I totally applaud them for it. Its just that it also, totally, didn’t work. The puppets were a confusing mix of figures and the significance of such a diverse array of puppets was never really made significant in any way. There were moments in which I felt it was successful, such as the enactment of Mercutio’s sword fight but in general the whole thing just conjures a feeling of confusion and boredom in my memory of it, not something I rate highly in a good play.

Album: Theme Park – Theme Park

Written by Rachel Bolland on . Posted in Music.

Transgressive Records

8/10

There’s not a huge amount to be said for January and February.  In January, there’s the exam period and the fact that the cold weather is still with us, but without the excitement of Christmas to take the edge off.  And then in February, if you’re single there’s the inevitability of everyone and their mother making you incredibly aware of that fact when Valentine’s Day rolls around.  Therefore, you can be forgiven for looking ahead to the summer, eagerly awaiting festival line-up announcements and dreaming of a time when there might actually be a little bit of warmth in the air.

If it’s warmth you’re after then Theme Park’s eponymous debut album won’t fail you.  From its opener, ‘Big Dream’, the record’s synths and syncopated drums conjure up images of sunshine, cold beer and a life free from the day-to-day drudgery of the winter months.  It’s an undeniably catchy album, full of guitar riffs that will lodge themselves in your head for days.  One of the standout songs, ‘Wax’ is particularly adept at getting stuck in the brain.  It’s arguably more sophisticated than some of the other tracks on the record with the almost irritatingly catchy riff perfectly capturing the youthful hope of the lyrics, with a chorus that begins “We got the love/We got the night”, encapsulating that feeling of summer nights spent behaving badly.

There are times on the record, however, when it feels like this is a band that isn’t one hundred per cent sure what it wants to be.  It is easy to draw parallels from stalwarts of the indie-dance scene such as Friendly Fires, Foals and earlier Maccabees material.  These comparisons are perfectly justified on songs like ‘Blind’ but there are other songs that seem to borrow from the bad side of pop.  For example, some of the backing vocals on new single ‘Tonight’ wouldn’t have sounded out of place on the singles being released by bands on The Big Reunion at the height of their 90s pop stardom.  Thankfully, however, these moments are rare and for the most part the pop element is incorporated with style, as early singles ‘Jamaica’ and ‘Two Hours’ showcase brilliantly.

Theme Park is, by and large, an incredibly strong debut.  It’s a wonderfully optimistic record that sets down some very promising elements for the band’s future.  It’s not going to break any records, but it’s ridiculously fun, and it has made the last few days of February just that little bit more bearable.

Delia Smith: food missionary or business mogul?

Written by Eve Commander on . Posted in News.

Delia’s back from self-imposed TV retirement – and she’s on a mission. Her new free online cooking school teaches her old gospel: for everyone to cook, healthily. However, when she announces this on The Graham Norton Show the muffins, chocolate gateaux and caramel sauces which whirl around on the clip of the first ‘lesson’ suggests she doesn’t practise what she preaches. As if that wasn’t bad enough, when Graham holds Delia’s 1970s book One is Enough up for the camera to tout its re-release, its plain to see Delia’s motives aren’t strictly charitably Christian.

Not that Delia sees it that way. When Graham picks her up on the food porn that’s just graced our screens, she devilishly says she’s tempting us with something indulgent before getting to the nitty-gritty. Even the ever acerbic Graham doesn’t dare challenge her for cynically timing her amazing free cooking school with her far-from-free book. A discussion of all the pretty pictures she’s added to help us now we’re so woeful at cooking has me split between whether I think our adopted Patron Saint of Home Cooking sounds like the witch from Hansel and Gretel or just plain patronising.  Either way, I fear this is set to be of a line of bizarre misjudgements, which has seen her dethroned from cooking queen with the common touch to simply out-of-touch.

Her series in 2008 How to Cheat At Cooking was where she lost a lot of followers. I wasn’t alone in being unconvinced that the ready sliced and pre-cooked onions and bizarre ‘cheat’ ingredients were the golden link that would allow us finish a hectic day of work and rack up a home-cooked dinner. A fact cemented by the disappearance of said items from supermarket shelves quicker than the time it took to gobble the McDonald’s quarter pounder they thought they were saving us from.

However, it was that (non-cooking) halftime incident at Norwich FC which really flagged up her deluded ideas about her relationship with us ‘normal’ folk. Descending from the Chairman Box to pitch-side to screech ‘let’s be having you’ at awestruck Norwich fans, it was as if she’d got some bizarre Messiah complex (which is not such an outrageous accusation when you learn that she has written several religious books.) However, it was less Jesus descending from heaven to the masses, rather a mockney transformation into Peggy Mitchell.

In fact, a look at her website suggests she moved herself from the mortal sphere altogether. Its clinical white lines and her pristine photo almost convince me that I’ve navigated to a page for a dental clinic. When we’re invited to save money with their coupons it seems like she’s reconciled herself to the fact she’s no longer a human being but an industry. What more evidence do we need that she’s left the common cooking touch behind than the fact, despite she’s trying to get us to cook, she chose to re-release a book rather than cook up a couple of new recipes?

I would like to view her re-release not as a cynical money-grabbing scheme, but a kind of prodigal return to those good old days when she supplied us with dense books of ‘no-nonsense’ recipes. There’s a lot to like about the old Delia: leaving school with no qualifications, she’s worked hard to become the UK’s bestselling cookery author. As co-chair of Norwich FC she’s an upstanding female in a male world. Whilst an ethical approach to food seems like an after-thought to Gordon Ramsay’s bombastic Hell’s Kitchen cooking, ever since her first show, Delia has been trying to preach a food gospel.

However, it was Delia the cynical business mogul rather than Delia the misguided food missionary sat on Graham Norton’s sofa. Whilst the cooking school looks like she’s been called back to the public sphere to fulfil a food mission, Delia’s re-release suggests she back for the material gain: she’s merely hedging her bets and cashing in her former glory.

Basque lamb stew

Written by Emily Clark on . Posted in Food & Drink.

The Basque country is a region bordering Spain and France at the west of the Pyrenees mountains. Lamb stews are typical of Basque cuisine, as are dishes that include both tomatoes and sweet red peppers.

Lamb is more expensive than beef, but its flavour is so incredible that it’s really worth paying a little extra – and go to a butcher’s if you want to save a couple of pounds. It’s such an easy recipe, and the key to depth of flavour is allowing it to slow cook for a couple of hours. I cooked this in an induction of my 21st birthday Le Creuset pot – probably my most favourite present ever!

I served the stew with dauphinoise potatoes and peas, and shared out the rest of the bottle of wine. What a good one.

Ingredients

(Serves 4)

About 3lbs lamb shoulder, chopped into 2 inch pieces

4 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil

1 large onion, chopped

4 cloves garlic, chopped

2 tsps sweet or smoked paprika

1 jar roasted red bell peppers, or 2 normal chopped red peppers

3 or 4 tomatoes, chopped

2 tbsps chopped fresh parsley or rosemary

1 bay leaf

1 glass red wine

400ml chicken stock

Salt and pepper

 

Method

Over a medium high heat, brown the lamb in batches with the oil. Salt as you go. Remove meat from the pan and add the onions to the pan. Scrape the sticky brown bits from the bottom of the pot. Cook for 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for another minute.

Add the meat back to the pan, with the paprika, peppers, tomatoes, herb of choice, bay leaf and red wine. Bring to the boil, then turn the heat down and simmer unlidded for 15 minutes. Then add the chicken stock, bring to the boil, reduce the heat to low and cook for 2-3 hours, stirring occasionally. Add seasoning accordingly.

Warrior Poets – poem by student J.J. Goodman

Written by J.J. Goodman on . Posted in Books.

When you fight with a pen or fingers on Keys tapping or clutching scribbling
Your defence of hope or some other inalienable value think of a warrior
Decked in lusting blue tartanned and defiant tattooed in dreams of
Liberty angering Souls forgotten entombed.
Then this sword in my hand Seems less potent righteous or even
Determined, it’s lifeless Lead asking do I care enough to fight or just
Write and escape mystified courageous deeds designed dreamt beautifully imagined.
Is this a reason derived urging a cowardly telling of a
Story braved acts abandoned these warrior poets, sit.
With conjuring Images of gods and demons silhouetted in the sun,
Inspired light calling all men and shining on necessary heroics in blood.
Manned arching steel drops into inferno oppressed and cleft with love tarnished.
The eclipse of these oh’s burned, holes of chasmic sorrow
Gleam like bulleted light seeping, weeping onto the floor.
-The battle turns tears. Uncaused, unknown, unkissed slain echoed
In words resounding hearts thrown back from those holes with anger.
Can you defeat a man stood on the edge of the world
In defiance of tyranny who’s lost in golden valoured altruistic tides
Turning fate’s great gross unshifting flow, can we fight like this?
Do inner twists of soul and words wield black plagued rotted
Tendrils like a Scottish Leo can with bare paws and limbs clad in
Bloodied tartan rip rip ripping with liberties unbluntable claws.
Can a Coer de lion fight harder than a warrior poet?
Am I a coward to craft curves defiant alone splitting heads bloodless?
Words seep and spill into deepened dark sorrowed chasms
Echo, kissing arms eyes crying souls breaking dreams alive forever.

J.J. Goodman
Philosophy student, Creative Writing Society committee member

Horse Boxing

Written by Kate Bullivant on . Posted in Societies.

This week members from the Equestrian Society swapped with members from the Boxing Society. This was a great opportunity for both societies to break certain stereotypes that circulate these two sports which just aren’t true.

The four members of the Equestrian Society who attended the boxing session were Claire Henderson, Sophie Mills-Thomas, Elaine Cel, Lauren James. The session was run by Coach Bobby (former trainer of Ricky Hatton) and Brian Rose who is the current Britain light middle weight champion, so the girls were definitely thrown in at the deep end. I spoke to Claire Henderson who explained how the training session went.

‘I was really worried that the trainers would be big scary men who would really mock our inability to throw a punch, and crack constant jokes about the current horsemeat issues. This was totally not the case, they were all so welcoming. To be honest our riding instructor shouts far more abuse than the boxing coaches, who were all about encouragement and smiles. They did find it amusing to have equestrians in the gym but they wanted to work with us not make us look like fools.

‘The highlight of the session was getting into the ring with Brian Rose, it’s not often you get a chance to throw a punch at a British Boxing champion! The exercise routine was rigorous and we tried to keep up as best we could but the other boxers made it look so easy. The only negative part of the experience was getting out of bed the next morning – my core and shoulders never wanted to move again!

‘Overall we all had a great time, it was a privileged to be taught by Brian Rose and coach Bobby made us feel so welcome. We all enjoyed it so much more than we expected. I was grinning all the way home and bounced around the flat all evening it left me on such a high.’

Score out of ten?

10, it was great fun, really opened my eyes to a totally new sport and would definitely go again.

 

Having put the Equestrian Society under such a gruelling work out, it was the boxers turn to step out of their comfort zones. Another four members from the Boxing Society (Kris Gower, Andy Gale, Tom Smith and Matt Frankum) took part in a half an hour riding lesson. I spoke to Kris Gower about how horse riding exceeded their expectations, being more physically challenging than originally thought and a lot more fun.

‘Initially we all thought it was going to be really easy, we get hit in the face twice a week so how hard can it be to sit on a horse as it jogs around a field? Apparently it is a lot harder than that! When we saw how big the horses we were it was quite nerve wracking, but the instructor and members of the society were great at calming our nerves.

‘Horse riding itself was entertaining, personally I had a very temperamental horse which did whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. But I soon picked it up and was pretty sure I heard someone say I could be the next Frankie Dettori.

‘The most entertaining part of the riding lesson, well entertaining for spectators, was when we had not mastered rising trot. This meant some quite serious pain was experienced with the crown jewels when we were told to start trotting. I haven’t been in pain like that for a long time, and I get punched regularly. Similarly, seeing Tom Smith have the same issue and go just as pale eased my pain.

‘We all had a great time and absolutely loved it. It was a totally different experience to boxing but required just as much dedication and concentration. The members of the Equestrian Society were so welcoming; we even have future plans for joint socials and more swaps.

Score out of ten?

11, I think it will become a new guilty pleasure. We are even bringing Bobby (our coach) and Brian Rose down at some point. I also recommend taking part in society swap because you get so much out of it, doing the same thing over and over can become monotonous so it was a breath of fresh air.

Must See: 4th-11th March

Written by Hannah Lawrence on . Posted in Theatre.

That Face

by Polly Stenham, directed by Amy O’Toole and Thea Paulett

That Face is a darkly comic look at an affluent family in freefall. Mia has been suspended from boarding school. Her brother Henry has dropped out and Martha, their mother, manipulates them all. The drama explores the reality of a modern day dysfunctional family. Stenham’s rich characters create the perfect dynamic for an absorbing production that highlights the intricacies and the extremities of the human condition.

Runs 4th-6th March 7pm at the Council Chambers, Students’ Union. Tickets £5.

 

The Conquest of the South Pole 

by Manfred Karge, directed by George Combe

Four unemployed men transform crushing boredom and desperation into a triumph of the human spirit – namely a re-enactment of Roald Amundsen’s victorious 1911 expedition to the South Pole. They turn a laundry-filled attic into an Antarctic adventure. But can they keep the traumas of real life out long enough to reach the Pole?

Runs 8th-10th March 7pm at the Council Chambers, Students’ Union. Tickets £5.

 

Boy in a Dress

A piece of autobiographical drama which follows La John Joseph, a ‘third-gendered, fallen Catholic’, from his life on the council estates of Merseyside to the strip clubs of New York City. Dubbed ‘incisive, witty, moving and glam’ by Time Out magazine, you’d be a fool to miss it.

Runs 5th-6th March at the Contact Theatre. Tickets £5.

Theatrical hat-trick: football, suffragettes and heroism at the Octagon

Written by Andrew Georgeson on . Posted in Theatre.

I can’t think of a time when I enjoyed any live experience more than Tull.

The blend of the hero’s tale, that of Walter Tull, with the contemporary message of racism, particularly in the modern sporting world, alongside gender equality made for a thoroughly engrossing performance.

The story centre around Walter Tull, performed by Nathan Ives-Moba, for whom football acts as an escapism for what begins as an extremely difficult life. His mother dies of breast cancer early in his life, his father dies soon after than and his aunt puts Walter and his brother in care.

Walter’s brother then get’s adopted and moves to Glasgow, severing their contact with each other for the next 10 years, leaving him by himself with the game he loves.

The beauty of the play is its simplicity. There are no props or costumes, and in fact many of the actors had to perform more than one role, sometimes even extremely conflicting roles. Almost as if it were Epic Theatre, the audience were only able to focus on the story and internal struggles that the characters themselves faced.

Indeed, the times media was used, it was used to wonderful effect. There were several times throughout the production when a football match had to be created. With the movement shown you would think that they had the ball at their feet. The accompanying soundtrack also created cheers of jubilant fans, timed with a strike at goal.

The characters of the play too portrayed the striking message that the performance had to convey. Ives-Moba, playing the lead role, as a young actor making his professional debut carried the perfect mix of youthful exuberance and naivety that a young Tull possessed.

His character was extremely well complimented by Fiona Hampton who played a key founder in the Suffragette movement as well as Tull’s fiancée, Emmeline Pankhurst, who herself has an idealized aspiration of equality and suffered from as much oppression and abuse as Walter did.

These characters were well juxtaposed with the experience of John Branwell, whose most influential role out the many he played was that of Herbert Chapman, regarded as one of the most successful football managers of the twentieth century, as well as being manager of Northampton town when Tull was transferred there from Tottenham Hotspur.

Kieran Hill also playing the role of Rev. Dr. Stephenson, founder of the modern day charity Action for Children, was a guide for Tull throughout his life from his time at the orphanage to his time in the army.

The play discussed a number of contemporary issues, within the context of the frivolous nature of war. The racist language used throughout the play towards Tull delivers the shocking effect that the play intends.

Tull receives racism in every respect of his life, from the racial abuse direct at him at his time at Spurs, blaming his for racial disunity. Then again during his time in the army, despite being noted as an inspiration to his comrades, was nearly refused promotion to 2nd Lieutenant because he was not of ‘pure European descent.’

Similarly in the case of Emmeline who was not only faced with troubles of obtaining votes for women, but was also adamantly against the war which her fiancée went to fight in, deeming it the battle of capitalism fought via the poor proletariat.

Unfortunately, Tull did not survive the war, killed in 1918 at the second battle of the Somme. The last scene of his death is the same scene that opened the play before going back through his life.

However, at the end there is a soliloquy by the manager who tells the story of how a young black boy affected his life, and the dreams of equality in football in the future. Unfortunately, we are not quite there yet.

Five stars out of five

Cheaper than chips: the sausage

Written by Frideswide ONeill on . Posted in News.

The Sausage

One important thing to get to grips with if you want to eat cheaply is that you can do so many different things with one ingredient. Take sausages for example – they are always on offer (3 packs of 6 for £6 in Sainsbury’s and 2 packs of 10 for £7 in Tesco) and are so versatile. No one wants to eat bangers and mash every night, so try these out for a bit of variety.

1. The Classic: Toad in the Hole

Ingredients: 6 sausages, plain flour, eggs, milk

Serves 3

Put your sausages in a roasting tin in the oven at 200°C for 20-30 mins, shaking them about occasionally. Meanwhile, take a medium sized cup and measure out a cup of flour, a cup of eggs and a cup of milk. Whisk these together in a large bowl (for a really airy Yorkshire pudding mix, cheat by adding half a teaspoon of baking powder.) When the sausages have browned, take them out of the oven and shake the fat that has come off them all around your tin to grease it up. Spread the sausages evenly around the pan and pour in the Yorkshire pudding mix. Put the pan back in the oven for 25 mins or until your batter has risen to golden crusted glory!

2. The Hunger Stopper: Man Pasta

This is a simplified version of Jamie Oliver’s ‘Proper blokes’ sausage fusilli’

Ingredients: 6 sausages, pasta, 2 onions, garlic, herbs and spices

Serves 3

First get the pasta water on to boil, then chop your onions. Gently sweat them in olive oil, before adding salt to release water. Crush the garlic and add to the onions. After 10 minutes, turn the heat up slightly and – this is the fun part – squeeze the sausage meat out of their skins and into the frying pan. Once the sausage meat is browned, turn the heat down slightly and add your herbs and spices. Any powdered or dried herbs and spices need to be cooked off for the flavor to really come out whereas fresh herbs like parsley and basil can just be added at the end. Man Pasta calls for big flavors like fennel seeds and cumin. Try adding a chopped chilli for extra spice. All that’s left is to drain the pasta and mixing in the sausage.

The Winter Warmer: Sausage Casserole

Ingredients: 6 sausages, 2 onions, garlic, 2 tins of chopped tomatoes, 2 tins of beans (flageolet, cannellini or butter beans are the best), a stock cube, 1 tbsp brown sugar, herbs and spices

Put some olive oil in a large frying pan and quickly fry your sausages on all sides. Then put these aside. In the same frying pan, sweat the onions and add the crushed garlic, a teaspoon of ground coriander, a teaspoon of paprika and a teaspoon of cumin. When your onions are soft, tip them into a large pan or casserole dish, before adding the tomatoes and beans and simmering gently. Melt a stock cube in 150ml of boiling water and add to the casserole along with the sausages and a tablespoon of brown sugar. The casserole needs a good hour and a half cooking time, so either keep it on the hob at a gentle simmer or put it into the oven at 180°C.

Sexpression

Written by Rachel Heward on . Posted in Societies.

Kate Bullivant spoke to Maeve Bishop and Louise Marlin about Manchester Sexpression, a society which aims to empower young people to make informed choices about their sexual and reproductive health.

The society runs “informal, fun, student-led sex and relationships workshops in schools from Year Seven and upwards. In Manchester we also train our volunteers to conduct chlamydia and gonorrhoea testing in the Students’ Union in conjunction with RUCLEAR Manchester. We are also joining up with the ‘Save the NHS’ campaign to defend local sexual health services from government cuts.”

Manchester Sexpression was set up in 2009 and has been expanding ever since with 89 registered members and many more on their Facebook group (search ‘Sexpression Manchester’).  They believe it is important for young people to talk openly about sex, sexuality, and relationships as it enables them to make more informed and responsible choices and helps them understand they are not alone in any issue they may be having.

“Some people think that sexual health education is wrong for young people but without open conversations, young people are likely to be ignorant of important issues such as contraception and consent. Stigmatising talking about sex and relationships will not stop young people from engaging in these activities. By talking openly about issues, young people become empowered to decide what is best for them and where to get help if they need it, destigmatising potential problems.”

Manchester Sexpression offer training sessions two or three times a week to introduce their volunteers to the teaching methods they use.There are also regional and national weekend conferences that happen once a year. Although it varies weekly, on average they teach about two or three hours a week in different schools, and this gets boosted by events such as World AIDs Day.

Some people may feel uncomfortable with discussing sex but in Sexpression no one is asked to talk about their own sex life. “It is important student volunteers do not discuss their sex lives with pupils they are working with. That said, discussing sexual health and relationships issues in a general sense is very much encouraged and we use games and fun exercises to promote this, emphasising a judgement free atmosphere. Usually we have warm-up games to get everyone comfortable with talking before we begin workshops.”

The society never discusses personal issues, which they deem “inappropriate,” however, they do discuss issues which can affect anyone. These include STDs, puberty, sexuality, contraception, relationship issues, consent, body image, gender, and self esteem. If a pupil raises a personal issue that needs further attention, they pass it on to the relevant authority, in line with child protection training.

There are many issues for young people regarding sexual health and relationships today. A few include lack of compulsory, comprehensive sexual health education, which leaves many people without sufficient knowledge of issues surrounding sex. This means they do not have the tools to make informed decisions, which can be dangerous. Government cuts to the NHS, community projects and sexual health and support services for young people means there is not always somewhere for young people to turn. A lack of education also contributes to damaging prejudices.

Following The Mancunion’s report last week about Manchester coming 23rd out of 24 Russell Group universities for sexual health, it is more important than ever that Sexpression achieves their aims for the future, which include “regular chlamydia testing in the union, campaigns against government cuts to sexual health services and expanding outreach to more Manchester schools and youth projects.”

A spokesperson from Sexpression said  “the staff in the Advice Centre do a great job, however students don’t really know that these services are available to them. We think that there needs to be more promotion of the sexual health services available on campus. The student elections are coming up and we feel that there is a need for a candidate who is passionate about sexual health issues and promotion. Sexpression run student-led workshops on sexual health and relationships in schools around Manchester but we would definitely like to get more involved with the sexual health issues within the university. We ran a trial chlamydia and gonorrhoea walk-in clinic on 25th February for students in the SU and hope to run this every Monday if possible”.

If you would like to join or volunteer for Sexpression then visit their Facebook page or the Student Union website for more information.

 

Review – Isn’t It Pretty To Think So, by Nick Miller

Written by Jasmine Ee Jie Min on . Posted in Books.

You know how the saying goes, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. Or, in this case, when life throws you into the deep end, write a book about it.

Nick Miller’s new book, Isn’t It Pretty To Think So, details the life of a 20-something stuck in something of a quarter-life crisis. It is the signature cry of our millennial generation: wide-eyed and fresh out of college, heads filled with dreams of a glossy future, greeted instead by a terrible recession. Miller’s book takes all that comes with this territory, and gives us Jake Reed – a 20-something young adult stuck with an uninspiring job and as existential a crisis as a bored, privileged graduate can have. Jack is taking some time off to focus on himself.

The story is as simple as this. Young man travels up and down the West Coast of America, hopping from a small beach town to West Hollywood to shiny downtown L.A. – with all of the accompanying vices and hard drugs we might expect from a trip like this. Eventually Jack sobers up when he meets a prostitute named Tatiana and finds himself slowly easing back into his old routines.

At times, Miller’s writing makes you wonder about the hedonistic, hard-partying ways of our post-Gen-X generation, armed with a huge bundle of student loan debt and a vague sense of purpose about The Future. The personal and fictional familiarity of this subject matter turns out to bring with it stabs of annoyance, simply because Miller has painted such an unrealistic picture.

There are a lot of references to Ernest Hemingway in the book – as the title, “isn’t it pretty to think so” is a line from The Sun Also Rises. Miller seems to be taking his cues from Hemingway, along with that other great of the American Novel, John Steinbeck, and a few hints at D.H Lawrence and Marcel Proust.

Isn’t It Pretty dips its toe into the lives of our millennial generation and our inability to reconcile a world of real-life events and an increasingly absorbing digital realm. However, Miller somehow seems to try too hard to glaze his sentences with flowery language and an abundance of overly descriptive words – taking us, in fact, ever further away from a grounded, recognizable reality.

With this minor quibble aside, Miller shows that he might just be a promising new talent in the literary field.
Isn’t It Pretty To Think So, by Nick Miller, Fernando French Publishing, (2012)

The MIFTAs begin with a bang

Written by Ben Marshall on . Posted in Theatre.

Journalists are often seen as criminals nowadays due to the exposure of several newspaper scandals in the last few years. But Piers Black-Hawkins’ newly written play shines the light in a different angle, by having journalists as the actual victims of these outrageous practices. And because of its thoughtful, three-dimensional insight into a world that we all think we understand, Paper Shield is no flimsy piece, but a well cut concept.

The plot centres around budding, young reporter Nick (Richard Southgate), who along with his three colleagues, works as a junior reporter for the fictional tabloid ‘The Shield’. When he finally achieves his ambition of front page news, however, everything changes… and not necessarily for the better. In an unbelievable twist of events, we witness just how this hardworking young man is dragged from his seat of dignity and honesty to a clandestine world of deceit, lies and selfishness.

As far as acting is concerned, this play, which was the opening performance of the 2013 Miftas showcase, definitely delivered. While Esme Bayley-Knaggs inputted an exciting level of cruelty and manipulative superiority into a captivating performance of newspaper editor Cathy, James Warburton was on hand to provide the opposite – the cocky, jack-the-lad persona of junior reporter Terry. A series of hilarious-but-humiliating encounters between himself and pretentious sub-editor Tim (Richard Jones) had the audience howling with laughter on several occasions. On the other side of the coin, hard-working but unappreciated Sally’s (Saoirse Brewer) heart-wrenching monologue on what it means to be happy in life created a solemn, contemplative mood all round, and was really the character whom the audience warmed to the most.

Atmosphere was fantastically created by visual elements as well, which were simple but effective. Intermittent flickering of the strip lights above each reporter’s desk connoted the dull and unpredictable nature of life at the bottom of the newspaper hierarchy, and the repetitive work spaces portrayed the reporters almost as children in a scary classroom, who submit to a fearful figure. Different coloured card props signifying reporters’ rights and privileges further emphasised the control of the newsroom imposed by the editors in their desire for money, and the lack of music or other recorded sound in the play was a sign of repression in this journalistic dictatorship – an interesting paradox, since newspapers are supposed to represent freedom of speech!

Throughout this play, the audience is presented with the conflict of personal gain and desires, against integrity and the greater-good, and how seemingly isolated events can spiral out of control and create terrible consequences for not only Nick, but for everyone he has worked on and with. His lengthy pauses and cold stares into the audience during the final scene, where he is being interviewed on a TV show, really knock these ideas home.

Although an ending is reached that has an element of closure for Nick, many questions are left unanswered, leading to insightful consideration of the play’s events and themes long after leaving the theatre.

And a play which achieves this is worthy of a 4.5/5

How do you choose how to choose your next book?

Written by Mariana Cerqueira on . Posted in Books.

How do you choose your next book? Do you ask friends what they’ve read recently, or perhaps wander aimlessly around a bookshop? Do you want to be surprised? Or do you have specific criteria for your next read? Choosing the next book to read can be challenging, but there are plenty of new online formats to help you along the way.

Whichbook is a new website that allows you to find the perfect book based on some very specific preferences. There are twelve parameters, adjustable according to what you want from the book. For example, would you prefer ‘no sex’ or ‘lots of sex’? Simply move the sliders to either side, depending on what you’re in the mood for, and Whichbook will sort you out. You can also find books according to character – age, sexuality, plot, and setting preferences. You can even choose the specific country the book is set in.

If you’re worried about the quality of the website, it may reassure you to know that every book on the site is read by 70 different books’ connoisseurs before they’re displayed online. All the titles are also fairly recent, published in the last ten years or so. Do not expect Fifty Shades of Grey after searching ‘lots of sex’ though, because bestsellers aren’t featured. Their philosophy is that well-known books are already easy to spot so you don’t need another website telling you to read it.

Online book clubs are also a great way to find new books to read, and in fact motivation to read at all. Goodreads.com is a famous example, but there are lots of small book clubs within this website that can be quite interesting. I recently joined the Rory Gilmore Book Club, in honour of the character from the TV show, Gilmore Girls. Other examples are ‘My Vampire Book Obsession’ and ‘Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: An Advanced Roleplay’. You can even create your own fantasy universe (or, you know, other) book club.

Whichever you choose, these sites are all about helping you find great books that you might miss otherwise. Who doesn’t love a good personalised search? Happy reading!

Breasts: Their wonders uncovered

Written by Molly Allen on . Posted in Lifestyle.

Molly explains why women should stop worrying and start liking their breasts.

Breasts, boobs, tits, knockers, jugs. As Julia Roberts famously said in Notting Hill, “Every second person in the world has them, what’s all the fuss about?” Why do men covet breasts but women despise them? In some serious cases, they have even been considered to be an affliction.

Having attended an all-girls school, boob discussion was a frequent activity. Hours were spent reassuring a particularly flat chested friend that her tiny buds would one day blossom into fabulous double Ds and we were in awe of my best friend’s gigantic (and surprisingly heavy) GGs. However, both of these girls have said that in an ideal world, they would like to change their breasts. Both have uttered those unholy words, “I hate my boobs!”

Women seem to think that the ideal female has long blonde hair, a washboard stomach, miniscule waist and an E cup to boot. Unfortunately the majority of us are not as fortunate to have the naturally beautiful breasts of Scarlett Johansson, but that doesn’t mean we can’t fake it. Ann Summers boasts some fabulous ‘push your tits up so they’re by your chin’ bras, for instance. Increasing focus on the lingerie market means that we’re swamped with various lacy or silky ensembles, all claiming to make our boobs look incredible. However, this obsession with breasts has led to more permanent measures being taken, such as surgery. With botched boob jobs and exploding implants, women are being exposed to serious health risks, all in the name of the perfect pair. The question is, why do women put themselves through this?

I am of the belief that you should embrace ‘the twins’ regardless. Why waste all this time focusing on what you don’t like about yourself when you can think of the positives? Your boobs will be with you your whole life. Admittedly one day they could end up down by your knees, but, until that day comes, enjoy the pertness that comes with youth. So what if one nipple is higher than the other? No matter what their shape, size or pertness, the truth is that your breasts will always be appreciated by someone. Just make sure that, most importantly, you embrace them as well!

What we really think about Hugh

Written by Eve Commander on . Posted in News.

On the surface there’s not a lot to dislike about Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall. He’s affable and champions good stuff like local produce, ‘real food’ and an end to battery chickens. The fact that he was chucked out of the esteemed River Café Kitchen for ‘being messy’ and ‘lacking discipline’ made him endearing. When, on a Thursday evening I watched him foraging in the undergrowth in an attempt to live ‘the good life’ in River Cottage I considered it a vaguely uncool but guilty pleasure. But as I grew wiser, I saw that what I took as boyish charm was really youthful petulance. After all, who calls their TV program after the restaurant they weren’t good enough to work in, saying that the experience helped to shape their career, unless they’re childishly point-scoring?

I had built up a picture of a homely farmer and found him to be an aristocrat.  Educated at Eton, he’d skipped from Oxford to conservation work in Africa; to failed sous chef; to journalism; to TV cook. Talk about having his cake and eating it! But that wasn’t all. Suddenly, he announced he would be doing ‘A whole summer without flesh’; was this the same man who notoriously flambéed and puréed a human placenta to serve as pâté on TV Dinners? How could I respect the words of someone who’d spent hours on our TV screens hunting for rabbits and expounding the virtues of organic chicken and then honestly claim that going veggie was ‘no deprivation’ to his eating experience whatsoever? Where once his Fish Fight and Chicken Out! campaigns seemed well-meaning, now they felt sanctimonious; the £240 a head to dine at River Cottage now seemed cynical. Instead of the nickname Hugh ‘Eatsitall’ that he earned in the early series of River Cottage by gamely cooking up road-kill, Hugh ‘Haveitall’ seems more appropriate. Whilst we’re hoodwinked, this man takes the biscuit.

Ploughman’s loaf

Written by Joanne Procter on . Posted in Food & Drink.

Warm, cheesy, pickly bread. Definitely the cure for the winter blues.

Ingredients:

500g strong white flour
7g dried fast action yeast
Pinch of salt
400ml lukewarm water
2 tbsp pickle
50g cheese, grated

Method:

1) Put the flour in a mixing bowl, and add the yeast on one side of the bowl, and the salt on the other (every Paul Hollywood recipe I’ve ever seen says that you have to keep the salt and yeast separate at this stage or the salt will kill the yeast. And who am I to argue with Paul Hollywood?)

2) Pour 300ml of the water into the flour mixture and mix it in – you’ll probably need to put  a little more in, but just keep mixing it and adding water until you have a soft, but not sticky, dough mixture.

3) Tip the mixture out onto a lightly floured surface and knead it for 5-10 minutes until it’s nice and stretchy. Then lightly oil the mixing bowl and put the bread back in, and cover with cling film or a damp tea towel. Leave it in a warm place for 1 hour, or until doubled in size (if you’re in a cold, cold student house it’s always a good idea to time your breadmaking to coincide with when the heating will be on, then you can leave your bread near the radiator.)

4) Once it’s doubled in size, put it back onto the lightly floured surface and knock it back (basically punch all the air out of it). Then add the grated cheese: knead it in well. Now add the pickle: things will get a bit messy at this point so make sure you have a bit of extra flour to hand if it gets too sticky. Then put it back in the mixing bowl, cover, and leave to rise for another hour in a warm place.

5) Grease and line a baking tray. Gently flatten the bread  mixture out on a floured surface, then roll it back up and put it on the baking tray. Using scissors or a bread knife, cut lines across the top of the loaf for that bakery effect.Put the baking tray in a plastic bag, and leave it in a warm place for another half hour. Meanwhile, heat your oven to 200°C.

6) Put the bread in the oven for 25-30 minutes or until it’s golden brown and sounds hollow when tapped on the bottom. I left mine in for 30 minutes and it was a bit over-done, so to be on the safe side check it at 20 minutes to avoid going over.