I’ve just started university, I’ve got to make loads of new friends, and I’m worried that everyone is cooler than me. How can I fit in?
Whether they’re showing off their misspelt Sanskrit tattoos from their gap yah or enlightening others to the enigmatic joys of “deep house” music, chances are most of your fellow students are indeed cooler than you. Fear not, however, as there are plenty of ways you can be quirky and individual just like everybody else. Generally, a good starting point is to grow an embryo of a beard and/or dip-dye your hair a fetching shade of fuchsia. Finally, boycott Tesco then steal your flatmate’s food.
I’m moving into halls soon. Everyone I’ve ever met on the internet says Fallowfield is the place to be but I only got into Victoria Park. Will I be missing out?
This is a highly reasonable anxiety because Fallowfield is literally the only place in Manchester where you can buy both Jägerbombs and cheesy chips. You’ll just have to befriend as many Owens Park residents as possible and find a comfortable piece of their floor to call home, otherwise you will seriously have absolutely no fun at all.
My first social for my course is coming up, causing a severe wardrobe crisis! What can I wear to make a great first impression?
It is always better to be overdressed than underdressed for such affairs. I recall my very first social for English Literature, which had an innovative “Shakespeare” dress code. Consequently, I arrived at Jabezz Clegg sporting a homemade nun costume of the S&M variety (I was Isabella from Measure for Measure, obviously); it was a great excuse to whip out my novelty red fluffy handcuffs and wear a tea towel on my head. Upon arrival, I found that I was the only one in full costume with the exception of a male friend, whose fairy queen attire in the name of Titania was quite exquisite. Needless to say, our names were not quickly forgotten.
