Flare, there, everywhere

Flick through Vogue first thing in the morning and you’d be forgiven for thinking you’d been transported back to 1973 à la Life on Mars. And in a fashion sense, you have! Wander into Topshop and prepare to be hit by a tidal wave of suede skirts, peasant tops and chunky platforms jostling for space among ethnic pendants and wide brimmed hats. “But we’ve seen these guys before,” you say, “they’re old friends.” Well now there’s something more notable on the fashion radar. That’s right, love ‘em or hate ‘em, flares are back in town.

Personally, I’m delighted! I have been waiting for this day for a years, suppressing my love of flares whilst the fashion police deemed them criminally unstylish and banished them to the depths of 1999. The thing about flares is that they are just so flattering, no matter what your shape, be it apple, pear or string bean, a pair of flares will give you an enviably slim yet curvy silhouette. What other style could do that for you? Skinny jeans are notoriously unforgiving, peg-legs belong behind a desk, boyfriend jeans can be  a little too butch, mom jeans are just an abomination and even the flare’s little sister, the bootcut, is still stuck in the early noughties, covered in embroidery and diamantes.

But sadly even flares have their downfall—they’re not the most practical or versatile of styles. Whilst skinnies can be teamed with any footwear, flares can only ever be worn with heels unless you wish to look footless or get end up with soggy, frayed hems covered in Manchester’s speciality mud. I’d also recommend keeping the rest of your outfit fairly modern; stay away from patterned shirts, matching jackets and sweater-vests unless Donny Osmond is your style idol. If he is, it’s time to take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror and think about what you’ve done.