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Month: March 2016

Watch the Tapes: Are Cassettes Making a Comeback?

You’re unlikely to read any thinkpiece on the music industry without being reminded of the startling resurgence in vinyl sales over the last five years. Sales last year reached levels last seen in the 1990s, challenging conventional wisdom about music consumption that has declared the death of physical formats on an almost monthly basis. And now, a curious development suggests we might need to shelve that obituary for a good while yet: Are cassette tapes really set for a comeback?

The National Audio Company, one of the last remaining cassette manufacturers, announced it had produced 10 million units last year, with sales up 30 per cent. That’s nothing compared to digital album sales, or even CD sales. But few formats seem to attract as much derision as the cassette tape; when asking friends and family for their thoughts on this purported renaissance, I didn’t receive a single positive response and most were incredulous that anybody could feel affection for them. “The hissing…”, my Dad sighed—he certainly didn’t sound wistful. A New York Times editorial claimed, “The cassette is the embodiment of planned obsolescence… each time you play one it degrades. Bad sound gets worse. Casings crack in winter, melt in summer. Inescapably, a cassette tape unspools: It’s only destiny.” Even in The Mancunion Music section, of all places, I don’t know a single Walkman-owner.

So what, then, explains this revival of interest in a product many consider to be rightly dead and buried? Esther Ford, owner of Withington’s Deco Records, believes nostalgia is central to why her shop’s cassettes have sold so quickly. Having bought her first albums on cassette, Esther is well-placed to discuss their appeal. As music consumption becomes increasingly digitised, she says, many are drawn to the artwork and detailed liner notes offered by physical formats. This has been highlighted as a factor in vinyl sales, but seems particularly appropriate to cassettes; as she shows me boxes of intricately hand-decorated mixtapes and speaks of hours spent taping and splicing tracks, the sentimental appeal is evident. Numerous online services boast of their targeted playlists and recommendations, but are unable to match the mixtape’s personality.

In the current musical climate, a fondness for something truly one’s own is understandable. As increasing numbers of people use Spotify, Apple Music, and Tidal to stream music (okay, I’m joking about Tidal), music ceases to be ours as we rent it rather than own it—even mp3s can be copied and burned to disc. That’s why Kanye West is at liberty to pull online-only The Life of Pablo from all official outlets on a whim—his control and ownership is absolute. Contrast this with the lyrics to Bow Wow Wow’s ‘C·30 C·60 C·90 Go’, the world’s first ever cassette single, which boasted “I don’t buy records in your shop, now I tape them all on Top of the Pops”, and you might see the tactile, portable cassette’s appeal for those concerned about the implications of renting music.

This isn’t to say cassettes will take the world by storm soon or ever. Sales remain comparatively low and are only rising from a lower starting point. As such, an industry has yet to form around cassettes as it did around vinyl; while the latter’s profitability is fuelled by the premium price tag attached to new releases, cassettes have attracted minimal commercial activity. Most cassettes sold are second-hand or independently-released: Esther tells me about local independent artists, reacting against polished production techniques, recording straight to tape for its warm, warped effect. There is some evidence this could change—Justin Bieber is now available on tape—but for the time being, the format’s staunchly alternative market seems unlikely to propel the cassette industry towards commercial viability.

All in all, it is difficult to proclaim a ‘cassette renaissance’ when the format overwhelmingly attracts a small market of independent-minded musicians and consumers nostalgic for a cheap, unpolished medium they don’t remember: The cassette tape’s profitability and reach remain limited. What use is Cassette Store Day when, as Esther reminds me, there aren’t any cassette stores? On these grounds, it’s hard to see cassettes becoming the commercial juggernaut they once were. Then again, in a world where I can play Justin Bieber on a Walkman, I think I’ll decline to make any predictions.

Government restrict living cost support for EU students in the UK

The government has announced plans to make it harder for EU students in the UK to access to financial support with living costs.

Currently, EU nationals studying in the UK are entitled to apply for support for their living costs if they have lived here for more than three years. But this looks as if it will change as the government have increased the years of residency to five years as a new requirement. Given that most degree programmes are three years long, the government are essentially removing the accessibility of financial support from EU national students.

The National Union of Students have spoken out against the government stating the changes will have an “enormous impact” on those who cannot afford to study without extra financial support for their living costs. They reported that these students “will be shut out of the education system and forced to put their lives on hold.”

The student campaigners say it is difficult to tell exactly how many students will be affected by the latest announcement but previous statistics show that “about 35,000 students from the EU applied for support for the 2014/2015 academic year, but a proportion of them will have been in the UK for five years or more.”

University minister Jo Johnson justifies the announcement by comparing the UK to other EU countries such as France and Germany, “who generally require five years’ residency in the home country before students become eligible for living cost support.”  Mr. Johnson adds: “The higher education student support budget is under pressure from increasing numbers of applicants from the EU, and the government is taking steps to manage the burden on the taxpayer.”

Johnson states that the government “recognise this will have a deterrent effect as EU nationals may not meet the proposed new residency requirement.” He adds: “It is not the intention to deny access to higher education in England.”

Responding directly to this is NUS International Students’ Officer, Mostafa Rajaai: “This is yet another attack on the rights of migrants in the UK. The government doesn’t miss a chance to vilify migrants for not contributing enough to society, yet it keeps putting up barriers to prevent them from attending college and university.”

The change will impact students beginning their courses 2016/17, who will have to demonstrate five years residency. It will not affect EU students already studying in the UK, who will be entitled to the existing requirements of only demonstrating three years residency.

The bodies nobody cares about

Women have been used, objectified, and sexualised in the media since the media became a thing.

We’ve been used to sell beer, motorcycles, and even cheeseburgers—whilst ironically being told that all these things are not for us. So when it comes to a debate about women’s body image, we all know the drill: Barbies are evil, everything’s Photoshopped, and Victoria’s Secret is bulimia; I know it, your grandfather knows it, and, if you don’t know it by now, then how is that cave you have been living in for the past ten years? Is it rough during the winter months? I bet it is.

But in more recent years, men have been getting in on the body shame game too, with six-packs on Abercrombie & Fitch bags, the Calvin Klein bulge, and G.I. Joe’s shrinking waist and growing shoulders, it begs the question: When it comes to men’s body image—should we care?

I asked around about what peoples’ thoughts and experiences with the issue. The responses I got were broadly of three types.

The first: “…”

It turns out an awful lot people have actually never thought about it. The whole concept of men having issues with body image, eating disorders, or dysmorphia, is talked about so little that the gears don’t start turning nearly as quickly as when you mention women’s body image.

The second type of response was a “Yes… and no…”

People told me that they felt men have their problems, sure, but they are not as common as those faced by women, and they have not been an issue for nearly as long. They seem to think that with all that women go through, it seems almost petty to ask the world to turn its attention to men.

Finally, the third type: Near outrage. “Of course it’s an issue! Men have bodies don’t they? Your mental and physical health shouldn’t matter any more or less because of your gender.”

These responses were pretty evenly split between men and women, but as I was not specifically gathering data here, I won’t attempt to present any trend. What I will say is, they all make sense.

When you look to the media, the stereotypical image of eating disorders is a fragile young woman, preferably in black and white, throwing up on the regular and wincing at the sight of food. Meanwhile, the image of body positivity is a middle aged, size 16 lady, who just doesn’t care what you think, dammit! So, having it never cross your mind that men can even experience these issues is understandable.

It’s also undeniable that the media puts more pressure on women to try and get them to feel bad about themselves. There’s a whole industry dedicated to it, in fact. Have you ever seen a man star in a dieting ad? Me neither.

But when it boils down to it, in my search for opinions, I have talked to men who starve themselves to be skinny, men who do not feel that it is fair that they are forced to erase any hint of femininity from their image when masculinity in women is so celebrated, and I have talked to men who just plain have a hard time looking at their bodies in the mirror. The more you notice it, the more it starts to become apparent that this problem of mental health in relation to body is not as rare in men as its level of representation would have you think.

But what to do the professionals say?

I talked to counselling psychologist Dr Heather Sacco to find out what her thoughts were on the issue.

According to Dr Sacco, dysmorphia and eating disorders in men and boys is “on the rise”. As usual, it seems the media has a definitive role to play, as she notes that the increase in numbers correlates with the rise in male objectification in the media.

She also notes how much easier it is for the problem to be missed in men; partly because some men with Body Dysmorphia Disorder (BDD) are more geared towards gaining muscle rather than losing weight, otherwise known as muscle dysmorphia (or ‘Bigorexia’ for those of you who follow the tabloids). However, it is mainly because men, are on the whole, less likely to actually recognise the problem, as are their friends and family.

(As a side note, the fact that we have given a disorder that involves over-exercising, being ashamed of one’s appearance, obsessing over diet and looks, and—especially when steroids are involved—poses serious health risks, and is usually accompanied by depressive moods and suicidal tendencies, a name as silly as ‘Bigorexia’, is further proof that we are not taking men’s mental health seriously enough; but I digress.)

This is also common for problems that are seen as ‘women’s issues’, and a similar phenomenon is seen in cases of domestic abuse and rape. The fact that body issues are so regularly viewed as being ‘women’s issues’ means that men who do recognise they have a problem are less forthcoming in seeking help for fear of stigma. We need to bear in mind that people with mental health issues such as anorexia or muscle dysmorphia are hyper-aware, to the extent of paranoia, about how they are viewed by others, so this stigma would be a prominent fear in their minds.

In the end, dysmorphia is a mental illness and it is always very hard to convince the sufferer they have it, adding in our twisted ideals of who should and should not need help and the problem can only grow.

So. Back to the big question. Should we care?

Yes. Yes we should.

It is true that these issues affect women more, but simply because a problem affects one group more than another does not give us a pass to ignore issues in the latter completely. The idea that a boy or a man can brush off an illness with the throwaway statement, “But I’m a guy,” (yes that is a real life example) and everyone around him can nod and move on, is not okay. He will get worse. And then what?

As we slowly (so… very… slowly…) work our way towards gender equality we are going to have to drop our rigid stereotypes. We are going to have to stop viewing women as weak, and characterising asking for help as feminine and therefore weak by association. We are going to have to stop telling men to “man up” and ignore their problems until they are catastrophes; and then ignore them some more.

We need to be vocal and to help people realise that when it comes to mental health, everyone can be affected, and that everyone who is needs and deserves help. We need to care.

DIY beauty recipes

Let’s be honest; as a student, it’s not always easy to find the right beauty products, especially with a lack of money and time. Luckily for you, I’ve found easy methods to create your own beauty products for a tenth of the price. They can be used either as a replacement, or in a situation when you’ve just run out of certain products. So let’s get started! And remember, a lot of it is trial and error, but it’s a very gratifying and fun experience to use products that you have created yourself.

First of all, you’ll need to invest in four staple products which can be combined to make useful, cheap, and cruelty-free versions of overpriced shelf products. You’ll have to buy them in bigger amounts than needed, but they all last for at least a year and can also be used for other purposes. Try to test them inside your elbow to make sure that you don’t have any allergic reactions.

The four products are arrowroot powder, virgin coconut oil, unsweetened cocoa powder, and baking soda. Each of the products can be found for around £3 in bigger supermarkets or online. Cinnamon, beetroot powder, mica powder, activated charcoal, and essential oils are optional and a bit more pricey.

Mineral or Compact Facial Powder

Only arrowroot powder and cocoa powder are needed for this product. Arrowroot powder gives the skin an HD finish after applying as it immediately minimises the appearance of pores and smooths out small wrinkles with its fine texture. Combined with the wonderfully smelling cocoa powder, a colour closer to your skin tone can be achieved.

Start with one tablespoon of arrowroot powder and mix it with half of a teaspoon of cocoa powder. A chopstick or the end of a teaspoon are adequate mixing tools. Experiment a bit and try it out on the back of your hand to find the colour that fits your skin tone best. Afterwards, fill the powder into an old mineral foundation container or into a small resealable box and use it as any other mineral powder with a soft facial brush. If you add a small amount of alcohol (Vodka from last night, anyone?), the powder can be pressed into an empty compact powder container with a kitchen towel and used after the alcohol evaporates.

The powder colour can be adjusted by adding more cocoa powder. Photo: Nicole Tamer

Bronzer and Blush

In order to create a bronzer, simply follow the same steps for the mineral powder and add a bit more of the cocoa powder into the mixture to make it darker. If a rosy colour is preferred, you could add beetroot powder which can be bought very cheaply online and, if you have any cinnamon left in the kitchen, the bronzer can be made even darker to contour the face better.

From left to right: Swatches of facial powder in skin colour, bronzer with more cocoa powder added, and a dark blush colour achieved by adding cinnamon. Photo: Nicole Tamer

Eyeshadow, Eye Liner, and Mascara (Advanced, requires more products)

Arrowroot powder creates a smooth eye shadow base and, mixed with cocoa powder or mica powder, brown or colourful eyeshadow can be created.

Half of a teaspoon of activated charcoal or cocoa powder mixed with 4 teaspoons of aloe vera gel and 2 teaspoons of coconut oil makes wonderful black or brown eyeliner. Just fill it into an airtight container, dip a slim eyeliner brush into the creamy texture, and apply it closely to the lash line. A cleaned mascara brush can also do the trick if you need a quick mascara fix. Store the liquid eye products in the refrigerator and don’t use them for longer than three months.

Mascara dipped into the eye line mixture. Photo: Nicole Tamer

Eye and Facial Makeup Remover

Simply dip a cotton pad into the Coconut oil, press it onto your closed eyes for a few seconds and wipe all the eye makeup away. It can also be used to remove makeup from the rest of your face, but coconut oil is quite greasy and lighter oils such as almond or jojoba oil might be better for sensitive skin.

Dry Shampoo

Spray dry shampoo is quite pricey and the white leftover is often difficult to massage into the scalp. Arrowroot powder is a lot cheaper and can simply be massaged into blonde hair similar to spray shampoo. If your hair is darker, mix cocoa powder into it as needed. Cinnamon or beetroot powder can be mixed with the arrowroot powder for ginger or strawberry blonde hair.

Deodorant

If you’re in a rush and just can’t find your deodorant, or it just ran out before the important job interview or date, you could either use baking soda or lemon juice, which both have antibacterial properties preventing any bad smells for a few hours. If you want to create a reusable longer-lasting deodorant, mix 6 tablespoons of coconut oil, 4 tablespoons of Baking Soda, and 4 tablespoons of arrowroot powder together and fill it into an empty stick deodorant container or a small glass or plastic container. After leaving it in the refrigerator for half an hour, the hardened mixture is ready to use. Baking soda and coconut oil have antibacterial properties, and the latter acts a base while moisturising your skin. You could add your favourite scents to the mixture in the form of essential oils. A few drops of citrus oils are especially nice in spring.

Homemade deodorant. Photo: Nicole Tamer

Toothpaste

Baking soda itself can be used as toothpaste and its soft abrasiveness can even whiten the teeth. Simply sprinkle a bit of the powder on the wet toothbrush and brush your teeth as usual. If you want to create a proper ‘paste’, mix any needed amount of baking soda and coconut oil in a 1:1 ratio and fill it into an airtight jar. The mixture can be blended to make it extra smooth. The toothbrush can be dipped into the mixture and used as a toothpaste that whitens the teeth and contains antibacterial properties fighting plaque naturally.

Coconut toothpaste with baking soda. Photo: Nicole Tamer

Have fun trying out the recipes and remember; they all should be stored in airtight containers and kept in dark and cool places to ensure the longevity of the products. If anything smells off or funny, dispose of it to stay on the safe side. I have tested all of the products beforehand and they have worked great for me, but everyone’s skin and hair is different so don’t expect results or the same scents as high street products.

I Am Sam’s Smiling Face

Both in society and culture things are tiered, there exists a gap between what is considered high and low brow. It is apparent in the restaurant scene like anywhere else. The division between fine dining and fast food is seemingly obvious but, in my opinion, the most important part of any dining experience is what I eat. Therefore, it makes no difference what kind of establishment it is; if the food is good, then I would consider it high cuisine.

Siam Smiles is a Thai restaurant on George Street in China Town. You enter through small double doors and descend tiled steps into what is half restaurant and half supermarket. You take your drinks from the supermarket section, take a seat, and order off a laminated menu.

I chose my dining companion for this meal with some care; I wanted an individual who had actually been to Thailand, so I could then use them as a point of reference for authenticity. As Miss Duncan descended the tiled steps through the small double doors, she instantly raised her head, “the smell,” she said, reminded her straight away of restaurants in Thai and Vietnamese towns.

After we ordered we had a look around the aisles. Megan’s face kept lighting up with the glow of nostalgia as she grabbed various items exclaiming, “oh my God, when me and so-and-so were on this coach from Koh Tao to that secret island in The Beach, all we ate were these pea snacks,’ and so it went on. It was a sweet image, you rarely see someone enjoying themselves that much just by picking up items in a supermarket that they have no intention of buying. It was also reassuring, if the ingredients in the supermarket are authentic, then so too must be the kitchen.

Siam Smiles offers Thai street food in three basic formats: noodle, rice, and salad dishes. We started with one of each. For me it was basically food roulette, having never eaten anything on the menu before, I was going on the little descriptions in English along with Miss Duncan’s sage words of advice. Our salad was som tam pla ra, baby crab with green papaya, fresh raw cabbage served e-san style. It literally had a baby crab in it, about the size of walnut, and actually really tasty. The salad as a whole though wasn’t quite to either of our palates, but had we known what it was we may have ordered something else.

For the rice dish I played it safe with the pork belly (£8.50), which erred on the side of average. It did come with a ‘homemade sauce’ that had some serious flavour. Our noodle dish was pad sii eew (£8.50), stir fried flat noodles with soybean paste, chicken and Thai broccoli. The broccoli was like a skinnier tender stem, and was indeed tender, but still had that crunch.

We had a little room left and had both been keen to try a noodle soup, not least because this was that random Friday in March when it was snowing. For some reason the door of the restaurant was left half open and you could see your breath in front of your face. We chose kiew goong moo dang (£8.00), prawn & pork won ton soup with rice noodles, choi-sum (pak choi) and tom-yam seasoning. It was the best thing we ate, the right amount of spice and the dumplings were wonderful.

London food critics rarely grace Manchester with their presence and when they do it is not often with kind words. The Guardian reviewed Siam Smiles in 2014 and sung its praises. For me, it has one of the highest no-frills to food quality ratios I’ve ever experienced. It was really cold, the brickwork was exposed and I’m pretty sure there was a shower in the bathroom, but none of that mattered because the food was so strong. Margot Henderson, of The Rochelle Canteen and wife of Fergus Henderson, owner of the acclaimed St John, gave a brilliant statement about no-frills cooking: “If God had intended us to eat carrots in tiny cubes, he would have made them grow that way.”

Price ££
Food 5/5
Drinks 2/5
Service 3/5
Atmosphere 1/5
Value 2/5

Top 5: Directors DiCaprio should work with next

5) J. J. Abrams

DiCaprio has successfully evaded many pitfalls by avoiding superhero films and generic blockbusters. But there is one director who has proven to be attuned to making films with a golden Hollywood sheen —akin to the days of 80s Spielberg, Abrams has successfully reinvigorated the Star Trek and Star Wars franchises—and whatever project he takes on next, having DiCaprio in the lead could lead to movie magic.

 

4) Paul Greengrass

There are a lot of great action directors out there (George Miller, Kathryn Bigelow and Michael Mann to name a few). But Greengrass has proven with the Bourne movies, that he is the most skilful at juggling frenetic fight scenes with a gripping thriller heartbeat. DiCaprio proclaimed in his Oscar acceptance speech that we need to take care of our planet. He is the perfect man to save the world on screen.

 

3) David Fincher

Fincher on paper would be the perfect fit to DiCaprio’s brand of acting. His dark, complex stories such as Se7en and Gone Girl provide a platform for sociopaths and serial killers. DiCaprio has played the villain before with great success in Django Unchained, but that was very much a supporting role. Place DiCaprio front and centre as an unhinged psychopath and the next iconic screen villain could be born.

 

2) The Coen Brothers

The Coen brothers have worked with everyone—Clooney, Pitt, Damon, so it comes as some surprise that DiCaprio hasn’t joined the party. The Coen Brothers are most effective when telling stories that incorporate their zany brand of humour with a character dealing with real pathos. The Wolf of Wall Street demonstrated DiCaprio’s comedic timing—and with the Coen’s at the helm, DiCaprio could stretch his acting range in ways audiences have yet to see.

 

1) Paul Thomas Anderson

And if DiCaprio just wants to win another Oscar, he should work with Paul Thomas Anderson.

Record Reappraisal: Arthur Russell – World of Echo

Released 1986 via Upside Records

I’ve been pretty much obsessed with Arthur Russell for around two weeks now and as a person he’s still an almost total mystery to me, as he was to most of the people that knew him. A musical force unto himself hailing from the corn fields of Iowa, he went through multiple musical mutations and contortions throughout his career, never settling or conforming to any one in particular. Flitting from minimalist swirling compositions birthed in the New York avant-garde performance space The Kitchen during the early 70s, to strange unsettled disco tracks seemingly dreamt up on some far away planet, his songs always have a truly lovely draw to them as if they’re something not quite of this world. In short, there’s something utterly different about Arthur Russell.

Russell was an infamous perfectionist: never being quite satisfied with what he’d produced, constantly tweaking it, altering it. Some of his friends believed he found more satisfaction in the immediate act of creating music rather than actually finishing it, and indeed this quality led to many of his collaborations ending in disaster. Despite recording reels and reels of music during his lifetime, Russell only ever released one album, World of Echo, which came out in 1986, six years before he lost his life to AIDS.

Composed largely on the cello, World of Echo is an incredible piece of work. I’m not sure what genre you could place it in other than ‘experimental’, but that seems like both a cop out and a misleading description. While it could not be described as dance music, it bears the marks of his complex musical past with disco and proto-house. Indeed alternate versions of many of the songs on this album (such as ‘Wax the Van’ and ‘Let’s Go Swimming’) can be found on posthumous releases, replete with synth drenched beats. In a way a few of the tracks, such as the opening ‘Tone Bone Kone’ or penultimate ‘Canvas Home’, sound like disembodied dance tracks tracing a rhythm not quite heard but implied, while strange electronic rim shots have a tendency to ricochet out of the belly of a song quite unexpectedly.

No song on World of Echo is straightforward. ‘Answers Me’ is the closest you’ll get to a conventional piece of music. It’s a slow burning song about time wasted, the auditory equivalent of a flickering candle, and incidentally is the song through which I discovered Russell after it was sampled on Kanye’s ‘30 Hours’ (love him or hate him, he’s definitely good for something). However, most of the album floats past you with Russell’s cello guiding its path: mostly gentle but sometimes displaying flashes of intensity, while over the top loom the soft haunting sounds of Russell’s Nick Drake-esque vocals. His lyrics are simple, repetitive and occasionally indecipherable, drenched in echo (as the album’s title implies) but offering a definite poetry.

It is true that many of the songs in this section of Russell’s catalogue may not necessarily command the listener’s attention, but most of them deserve it. The second track on the album, ‘Soon-To-Be Innocent Fun/Let’s See’, is one the most beautiful pieces of music I’ve heard in a long time. The gentle ebb and flow of Russell’s strings pull at you as he plucks out a holy rhythm over the bottom and lilts a strange lullaby in hushed tones which emerges through the various melodies which tumble from the piece before drifting away. It’s a song indicative of the album as a whole, constantly shifting focus and form but somehow offering cohesion, like a wisp of smoke.

The album ends on the heart wrenchingly sweet ‘Our Last Night Together’, a joyfully melancholic tune about strained love, and the difficulty of saying goodbye. However, as is the way with all of Arthur Russell’s music, while the album ends, you feel it never quite finishes. That’s not to say this unfinished work is anything close to unsatisfying.  In fact it is quite a comfort to imagine this alien record continuing its interdimensional orbit of style and genre among the stars unheard.

Pokémon Red/Blue & Yellow – Retro Review

A few weeks ago we had what was collectively known across the internet as ‘Pokémon Day’. This celebration happened on February 27th, 2016, 20 years to the day after the release of the very first Pokémon games in Japan. Its amazing to see where Pokemon has come since then and this day was just one of the many planned events that Nintendo and the Pokémon company have laid out to celebrate the 20th anniversary of their beloved franchise. To go along with these celebrations, Nintendo decided to tap into the ever-fruitful nostalgia pipes by re-releasing the very first Pokémon games on the Nintendo 3DS eshop as a Virtual Console title. For us in the United Kingdom, this means getting to relive the original two Game Boy titles, Pokémon Red & Blue, as well as the third version of the game released for Game Boy Color: Pokémon Yellow. This is a game that many of us will have grown up with, regardless of whether we called ourselves a gamer or not, but after 20 years do these games still hold up? The short answer is just about, but for the long answer you are going to have to keep on reading.

The first thing to do when reviewing any Pokémon game is to specify why there are multiple versions of the game. As stated above the game has three different versions, all named after a colour, and these three different games are for the most part the same experience. The reason for having two versions initially was to emphasize the idea of trading Pokémon. The series slogan was ‘Gotta Catch ‘Em All’ but with just one version of the game this was actually an impossible feat. See, out of the 151 Pokémon included in the first generation of games there was 12 Pokémon missing in each version, 11 of which can be obtained by finding someone with version of the game you did not own and trading with them (while the last Pokémon was Mew who could only be obtained via a special event or through glitches).

Photo: Nintendo Co., Inc., Pokémon Company, Game Freak Inc

Trading was a major part of the Pokémon franchise and its appeal and in these 3DS re-releases trading has been made even easier. You now no longer require a long cable to connect your Game Boys together as the 3DS can trade over wireless with one another. This with the promised addition of Pokémon Bank support in the future means that trading has never been easier. Pokémon Yellow also has its share of Pokémon that are unobtainable but the appeal of this third game was different. Pokémon Yellow not only had the addition of colour and slightly better looking graphics for the monsters but it allowed you to follow the story of Ash, the Anime’s protagonist. You are forced to start with a Pikachu, just like him, and certain Pokémon locations have been moved around to match how it was in the show. Apart from all these specified differences the games play exactly the same so when picking which version you wish to play you only need to take this paragraph into consideration.

If the gameplay of Pokémon  is not already ingrained into your body, right next to how to ride a bike and the proper way to hold your cutlery, then allow me to enlighten you. In Pokémon you play as a young boy who sets off from his home in Pallet Town to become a Pokémon master by travelling around the region of Kanto, capturing various different Pokémon, defeating the eight gym leaders and working your way up to battle the Elite 4. In order to do all this though you need a Pokémon and you need to train it up through battles. Everyone remembers their first ever Pokémon and in this game you get the choice of Bulbasaur, Charmander or Squirtle (or you get a Pikachu forced on you when playing the Yellow version). Each of these Pokémon have a special type being Grass, Fire and Water respectively, and this helps to show new players the type mechanic in a rock-paper-scissors style of gameplay. Grass beats water which beats fire, which beats grass. Taking advantage of these types and knowing which type your opponent has is the way you are going to win all the battles that come your way. Battles play the same as they always have done with your options being to attack, run, use an item or swap out a Pokémon. However, due to this game being the first in the series the battle system is very simplistic. This game does not follow the same rules as future installments and it has less types to consider. This is something that Pokémon veterans should keep in mind, but for brand new players it makes these games a great starting point as there is less to consider.

Photo: Nintendo Co., Inc., Pokémon Company, Game Freak Inc

A big part of this game is its simplicity and while this makes it good for new players in some aspects, it also makes it a chore in others. While all the menus are simple and obvious in their layout there are some obvious missing features that are caused by this game launching when it did. There are not any quick-button options available and a lot of the benefits found in future games like the ability to run and not losing certain items after one use are completely absent in this game. For veteran players this will make this game seem like more of a chore than it needs to be and for newer players it may come off as just too out-of-touch for a modern audience. With all that said it does not ruin the game and I myself, as someone who has been following Pokémon for the last 20 years, did not find these issues as deal-breaking as some others might have.

My view could possibly be blocked by nostalgia but that is not necessarily a bad thing. Everything from the graphics and music in this game makes me think back to my childhood and the fun I had playing these games and it made me want to continue. This is certainly a good thing and I found myself enjoying the game immensely as I worked through it. If you are a big fan of Pokémon and had fond memories of it growing up then I almost certainly recommend re-buying these games, especially if you no longer have your old carts or if the battery died in them (an issue that you don’t have to worry about here). If you’ve never played a Pokemon game before then I also recommend using this game as an entry point. If you can stomach a few ageing gameplay mechanics then you will find a very enjoyable monster-hunting RPG. The game is simple enough that you will not feel overwhelmed by picking it up and may end up becoming a fan of the series yourself. However, if you are already a Pokémon fan and had no memories of the old games because you started later on then it really comes down to your motivation. If you are curious about where the series first began then definitely give this game a go, however if that is not your goal then you might be better off sticking to the more recent titles. A lot has changed in the last 20 years and the current games are certainly more user-friendly in some regards.

With the release of these games, Pokémon’s 20th anniversary is off to a great start and with Pokken Tournament and Pokémon Sun & Moon on the way, this is certainly looking to be a good year for everyone’s favourite collectible monsters.

Where’s My Mommy? – Review

Going through the list of new releases and looking for something to review can be a tedious task; the choices being I go into my overdraft buying the latest triple-A game, or I find some artsy piece regarding flowers with few redeeming features other than being short so it’s less painful. Occasionally, however, you will find a game that not only intrigues you, but speaks to you on a personal level. A game that really resonates with player and is an experience that everyone can relate to, regardless of age, gender, or creed.

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to the video game version of ‘Everybody Poops’.

‘Where’s My Mommy?’ is a continuous running game where you, a small nugget of feces called Poopy, are cruelly separated from your mother by an ‘Earthquake’. You chase after your mother through the dark catacombs that you call your home. But be careful! No one has ever come back from ‘the other side of the dark tunnel’. Between you and your mother lie obstacles to make your journey all the more perilous. The only tricks at your disposal are the ability to change to a hard form, which allows you to break through objects in your way, or a soft form, which allows you to flow through permeable things. If this sounds about as subtle as a starting pistol in writing, then imagine how in your face the final product is.

If I had to describe this game in one word, it would not be ‘highbrow’. In game, you are treated to the finest in sophisticated humour. As you traverse the depths of an unnamed digestive tract, you encounter tea strainers, small animals, and bags of white powder that turn the screen psychedelic colours when they burst. It’s funny, because those things shouldn’t be up there! It’s hilarious! The first time you see it at least, then the one tune this game has turns boring and you are left wondering what ‘Where’s My Mommy?’ has left to offer. The answer is not much, unfortunately. If you are a fan of internet memes last seen in 2009 however, then you won’t be disappointed. Troll faces and Legolas jokes are strewn across the landscape in a desperate attempt to be seen as funny and ‘with it’. Like your father taking an interest in your favourite band, it comes across as contrived and forced.

Photo: Exquisite Games

This could all be forgiven, however, if the game itself was solid. In fact, I may have praised it for not being yet another pseudo minimalistic affair attempting to be Canabalt and trying something at least a little bit ‘out there’. Instead you feel as though you have no control whatsoever as you are being forcefully shoved through the small intestine and thrown at various obstacles. While this may be accurate for the human digestive system, it does not make for good gameplay.

One weird quirk of this game is as you transfer between soft and hard states to move through different obstacles, there is no conservation of momentum whatsoever. Changing between soft and hard states alters your speed very quickly, killing any flow or rhythm you may have had. This gets infuriating as the levels become harder and instead of feeling like you are gracefully gliding through the game, you have about as much control as being dragged through a hedge. The procedurally generated levels feel unforgiving at best and flat out impossible at worst, spitting out some combinations that seem to be impassible barring divine intervention. ‘Where’s My Mommy?’ is playable, but I would not call it fun.

After the cult hit that was ‘Goat Simulator’, one trend that seems to be creeping into some smaller games recently is treating bugs and glitches as if they were intended features and trying to reward them as such. ‘Where’s My Mommy?’ does this by having steam achievements awarding players for getting stuck on the terrain of a procedurally generated endless runner game, something that I did not think possible before this game. There are also achievements available for glitching out certain obstacles. If these occurrences were very rare, then it could be a nice easter egg; even the best games sometimes act weirdly. But it’s not very rare, it’s annoyingly frequent.

As you sit stuck in an intestinal wall, waiting for the game to realise that you cannot move, you wonder why you even bothered. When the game does realise you are stuck, you get greeted with a slap to the face in the form of a ‘LOL you got stuck’ comment on the game over screen. In ‘Where’s My Mommy?’ it seemed to be easier to patch a frequent problem with an achievement as opposed to fixing it. By fixing the spelling errors I make when writing a review and not calling it a ‘typo treasure hunt’, I am already putting more effort into quality assurance than Exquisite Games did.

The only saving grace to be found is the soundtrack. Not made entirely out of fart noises as one would expect, it is a chiptune affair that is actually very well produced. Made by American composer Inverse Phase on a Sega Mega Drive, it is a homage to the games that inspired him and is certainly worth a listen if you like chiptune music. It really feels like that he threw audio pearls to video game swine here. A gem in a pile of manure, if you will.

About as funny as staring at a toilet bowl before flushing, ‘Where’s My Mommy?’ may look intriguing from the outset, but when you get into the bowels of the game it falls down upon closer dissection. The endless runner genre is already large and varied. With many better games available that are asking for much less than the £4.79 that ‘Where’s My Mommy?’ asks for, it really is hard to recommend this for anything other than an expensive gag gift. Good if you need something to laugh at, not with.

Jaipur Palace

From its appearance, Jaipur Palace is not the sort of place that you’d think one would find a good meal. Opposite the Shell garage on the Wilmslow Road, the tacky bright lights of this vegetarian curry house are attached to a small hotel reminiscent of the Bates Motel made famous in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. Hesitantly, we stepped through the door and were pleasantly surprised to find a smart and clean looking restaurant, albeit rather empty, with mauve walls and intimate booths.

Photo: Jaipur Palace

Oddly there was no drinks menus on the table. The waiter asked if we would perhaps like a Cobra or a Kingfisher, but only after we had asked if they had any beers. I was hugely excited to see batata pav on the food menu—fried spicy balls of mashed potato which were favourites of mine on train platforms in India many moons ago.

They were smooth with potato, chunky with peas and given a good whack of spice that kicked off the meal to a good start. The cubes of tikka paneer were exactly as they should be, ruby red with edges blackened in the tandoor and filled with squeaky white cheesy goodness.

We ordered the daal makhani as the menu claimed it was one of their specials; it was almost gravy-like in taste, dark and rich and creamy but not at all similar to the kind of mild, garlicky tarka daal that I usually so love. Malai koftes in a creamy cashew sauce and the aloo palak (potatoes and spinach in a vegetable gravy) were also tasty, but sadly the taste of all three dishes were indistinguishable from one another. This was possibly down to our menu choices, so I will not hold it against the establishment; but the daal, the koftes, and the potato dish all had the same oily, gravy-like taste to them, meaning that we did not have the variety of spice combinations and heats on the table that make eating at Indian restaurants so fun and special. Having said this, everything tasted really good when mopped up with a good hunk of buttery naan.

The service was good apart from one detail which really niggled. The waiter continually only addressed my male companion—“How is the food, sir?”, “Would you like another drink, sir?”, “Shall I clear the table, sir?” I barked replies to these questions despite them clearly not being aimed at me. He was a very attentive and a 10/10 waiter for my boyfriend, but in 2016 this refusal to acknowledge the woman at the table seemed deeply sexist and offensive. As I was the one who ordered the food and paid, it was a very odd decision on the part of the waiter, and sadly left a sour taste in my mouth after quite a pleasant meal.

Photo: Jaipur Palace

I don’t want to scare people away from this restaurant. Poor ordering and Victorian waiters aside, the food was quite flavoursome. It definitely wasn’t outstanding, but it was decent food at decent prices and in a location so convenient that it adds to its appeal. I would say it’s a good spot for a larger group of friends to come for a meal where they can opt for a wider selection of the menu to make sure that they get the maximum flavour combinations, and for ladies to make a stand against everyday sexism!

Price ££

Food 3.5/5

Drinks 4/5

Service 2/5

Atmosphere 3/5

Value 3.5/5

DIY Fashion

The continually feared moment by university students, occurring about three times a year and expected with bated breath, has once again clawed its way back into our calendars; we knew it was coming, we watched it silently approach and denied its existence for as long as possible. But lo and behold, the moment has come. The second instalment of our loan has run out, our overdraft near to maxing out, and even our savings have taken a rather painful hit.

We now count down the days until Easter arrives when we can vegetate on a sofa, basking in the knowledge that the fridge has been filled without lifting a finger or a contactless debit card. So how do we sufferers of OCSD. (Obsessive Compulsive Shopping Disorder) navigate around such a difficult time?

Carrie Bradshaw’s advice during financially challenging times isn’t always the most practical to be obeyed, such as, “when I first moved to New York and I was totally broke, sometimes I bought Vogue instead of dinner. I just felt it fed me more.”

Whilst an interesting testimony to cultural nourishment, simply skipping one meal sadly won’t fully heal the hole in our bank accounts. However one of Carrie’s statements that determinedly resonates would be, “I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.”

But how is this possible on a strict budget and with slightly more realistic life difficulties than those of a fictional columnist who dines out every night, rents her own apartment in New York and spends less time behind a computer screen across six seasons than any dissertation student in the space of two months?

Whilst I spend the majority of my time in Oxfam or Affleck’s rather than Dior or even Topshop, a recent epiphany (which any fashion design student, or even recreational knitter, will despair at) was to simply make my own clothes.

This seemed like a groundbreaking and revolutionary idea, until I remembered I have no fabric, abilities, or patience. I can tell you what a sewing machine looks like, but in terms of working one, I am at a loose end as soon as a thread comes undone.

Here presents another challenge: moulding my current, limited abilities of yielding a needle and thread to my extravagant notion of designing, sewing, and filling a wardrobe overnight.

Upon contemplating and accepting this reality check, I set my sights on a small task: chokers. Four velvet ribbons, four large buttons, a metre of elastic and 40 minutes later (I’m a slow stitcher—don’t judge), I had four new necklaces and an insatiable desire growing within me to go bigger and better. The success went to my head, partially aided by the third choker being slightly too tight and occasionally cutting off the blood supply to my brain.

Photo: The Mancunion Photo: The Mancunion

An opportunity soon presented itself for further creativity: my boyfriend surprised me with tickets to LFW, resulting in a response of pure elation, excitement and utter panic. How do I dress to impress with next to no money? Motivated by sheer dread at wearing my charity shop rip offs in front of designers, models, and journalists alike, I trusted in my own creative flair (often a dangerous thing, but by some miracle I think I pulled it off) and headed to the shops.

Two hours, four meltdowns and a near death experience involving two trams later, my ideas were there and the fabrication of a new pair of trousers was soon to be attempted. Despite an agonising evening spent attaching a dismembered Topshop fur scarf to my H&M trouser cuffs, almost losing a couple of fingers and my sanity in the process, I travelled to London for Fashion Week with a unique pair of trousers and a smug grin glued to my face.

Photo: The Mancunion

Whilst the DIY wardrobe isn’t for everyone, even the most limited of sewing abilities can be turned towards creating a cheaper, unique wardrobe. Even better still, the more you do it, the better you become and the riskier your creations may be. In spite of its time-consuming and, in my case, often injury-inducing nature, the incredibly rewarding feelings towards the end result are undeniable—and a smug smile is for once justified.

Lost skills in fashion: Knitting

The evolution of woolly clothes has gone from geek to chic and it seems that knitting still has to catch up. With this skill slowly becoming endangered, is it any surprise that knitting seems to be a lost fashion skill? We should celebrate knitting and bring it back into fashion! After all, you can make anything from scarves to socks without breaking the bank!

We caught up with Zoe, a knitting advocate, who recently finished a gorgeous cardigan.

What got you into knitting?

Well I found this book lying around the house, and in our house we make our own little Christmas gifts. So I decided to make these little woolly monsters, they were so cute and they came out really well.  After this I bought my own knitting needles and some wool and decided to make myself a cardigan.

How did it go?

Well it was a bit tricky at first, but with the help of this book and lots of practise I learnt new patterns and designs and got to work. A cardigan is a pretty big thing to start with, so it might be worth starting with something small, so you can practise patterns. It took me about 200 hours to complete this cardigan, but it was my first try and I kept coming back to it. With more practise I could feel myself getting speedier and before I knew it I had finished!

Photo: The Mancunion Photo: The Mancunion

What would you recommend to people who want to start knitting?

Well set yourself a project that isn’t too tricky. If you start with something that won’t take up too much time and that you’ll actually wear, it’ll be really worthwhile. Once you’ve done a couple of small things, you can move onto something bigger and you get to wear it! There are two basic stitches that can pretty much make everything up and then you can take it from there. By using forums and Google, you can knit whatever you want.

What do you love about knitting?

I love the fact then when you finish working on your piece, it’s yours and there is no other replica of it because you designed it. When you get the knack of it, you can make small little gifts and great pieces of clothing for yourself for half the price than at the retailers. It might start off a bit fiddly, but once you get the hang of it you will have learnt a new skill that is useful and rare. I feel so great now that I’ve finished this cardigan and I can’t wait to start on my next piece of work. Step by step instructions are available all over the internet, so more people should get into it.

So why not try out a new hobby and bring back knitting! If you need some supplies to get you started, I recommend Abakhan Fabrics in Manchester’s Northern Quarter.

Get creative, get knitting!

Album – Kendrick Lamar: Untitled Unmastered

What a time to be alive—in February alone, Hip Hop fans were listening to the likes of Future’s EVOL, Khalifa, and Kanye’s long-awaited The Life of Pablo, none of which failed to capture our hearts.

And now, within the first week of March, we find ourselves with a Kendrick project being dropped out of nowhere. Its minimalist, shady cover rather fits with the little we heard about it, its title: ‘Untitled Unmastered’. We were only graced with the five Grammy award-winning To Pimp a Butterfly in March last year, so it’s safe to say that rumours of another Kendrick drop were few and far between.

‘Untitled Unmastered’ consists of eight tracks, each simply numbered and dated. And if you liked TPAB, you’ll surely love the free jazz vibes that Kendrick has made his own on this album, too. ‘Untitled 01’ opens the album, defined by its vibrant double bass and untempo drums, along with the now unmistakeable flow of Mr Lamar.

This album truly makes you appreciate not only the unique lyrical styles of Kendrick Lamar but also the talent of the mainly acoustic instrumentalists who accompany him. Anna Wise’s accompanying vocals on ‘Untitled 05’ place the listener in a dark, jazz club environment, complemented by Punch and Jay Rock’s relaxed bars and a heavy combination of bass drum, snare, and crash cymbal.

Kendrick then takes it to the next level on ‘Untitled 06’, making himself (along with a featured Cee-Lo Green) surely one of the only rappers in this day and age to effectively spit over a bossa-nova style beat, forcing his audience to lean back and enjoy his verses, with lyrics narrating his encounters with a “goddess of the eye”.

Finally, ‘Untitled 08’ sees a return of a more traditional hip-hop beat, with a slight funk influence, reminding the listener of Kendrick’s west coast roots. Its chilled synthesizer and consistent beat will leave you replaying and playlisting, ready for what more he has to offer.

The release, in a similar fashion to To Pimp a Butterfly, showcases the skill and diversity of Kendrick, and, of course, references to his home city of Compton do not go amiss. It includes instrumentals of genres ranging from cool jazz to mild trap, and only adds more impetus to the argument of those who label Kendrick as one of the best ever. On his current form, it’s very hard to disagree.

Only Kendrick could release an album with no name, all tracks unnamed, without telling anyone, and STILL have one of, if not THE best album of 2016 so far.

Feeding the streets for a fiver

Having lived and walked in Manchester for three years now, it has been impossible to ignore the presence of the many rough sleepers paving the streets from Oxford Road to Piccadilly Gardens. It’s a problem that seems to be only getting worse, with the anarchist street-squat known as ‘the Ark’ closed off as commissioned by MMU.

Life by chocolate. Photo: The Mancunion

Dwellers were physically forced off the area by use of large metal fences. The Ark opened not as a protest, but as a display of the homeless taking control of a situation that wasn’t being responsibly handled. Things were desperate, and due to the lack of adequate care and support, the people of Manchester’s streets—quite admirably—took matters into their own hands.

The response was ignorant. The makeshift home to many was barricaded with little offer of an alternative solution. It was simply closed down.

The Ark was actually very valuable, an example of suffering people taking responsibility for their own lives. The animalistic caging of these people demonstrates the lack of the ability for those in power to empathise with those in poverty as fellow human beings.

Everyone should have a right to basic food, shelter and water. These are the essentials of life. It feels wrong that the homeless are leaning against the solution: empty buildings. A friend and I discussed how aliens would look down on our city from an aerial view and laugh in astonishment at the ridiculousness of the problem. We are in a dystopic state run by power systems that can’t see further than the boundaries set up by ‘rules’, ‘systems’ and governmental ‘structures’. People are suffering in the cold when the materials for the solution are empty and unoccupied.

Many of the characters are ex-cons or perceived as criminals. However, this shouldn’t mean that they don’t have a fair chance at life. The solution to crime is not punishment, but education. Many of these people have come from difficult and abusive backgrounds, have problems with disability, and have struggled with discrimination or lack of help.

A new veggie convert. Photo: The Mancunion

But as well as this, some of the people on the street are there as simply a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s all down to unfortunate circumstances.

Understandably, living on the street can lead to more issues, which makes the problem worse and worse with the vision of recovery fading further away. Sleeping in cold, damp conditions with little access to hot food, shelter and hygiene facilities can often lead those who arrive to the streets in relative health to quickly deteriorate, and often resort to drug and alcohol abuse.

While it is a myth that all homeless people have problems with drug and alcohol abuse, the problem is still very real and apparent, which is why the act of giving money and walking on feels like a disposable, and even detrimental, form of help.

It’s difficult to know where to begin when taking action on a personal level but something that can be done directly is to help out with Student Action outreach projects that run every night of the week. Volunteers prepare and hand out food to those in Manchester without a bed to sleep in, walking down Oxford Road up to Piccadilly until supplies run out. Offering help and advice is the main priority, but handing over food is a gateway to that conversation.

Depression, bitterness and feelings of hatred also feature, with reason, in the minds of many. However, it must be said that 99 per cent of the people Student Action speak to are wholeheartedly grateful for the help that we provide, and many have said that our help is the reason they keep on going. We need to promote equality and teach people that life can be lived in a positive way, and give everybody reasons to be grateful for it and respect it. If money doesn’t work, kindness definitely does.

To make things as ethical as possible, I came up with two variations on a vegan sandwich. Food may be fuel but with keeping humanisation and levelling in mind, I would prefer to feed someone else the same quality of food that I’d hope to nourish myself with.

1. 

Peanut butter £1.30

Fairtrade bananas £1.00

Seeded bread £1.25

Dark chocolate £1.00
In a bowl, melt ½ a tub of peanut butter with a few squares of dark chocolate, microwaving in intermittent bursts of 20 seconds until runny and spoonable. Half the sliced loaf into two adjacent stacks and spread one pile with the chocolate PB on one side. Slice bananas and place atop the nutty goodness. Finish with the remaining bread and marvel that you have made a cheap, healthy, ethical, nutritious and delicious sandwich.


Info: seeded bread is a slow carbohydrate, taking longer to burn energy and thus keeping the body going for longer, the natural sugar in banana also creates a healthy energy spurt and is a good source of potassium, nuts are a great source of fat which helps to balance the meal and dark chocolate releases endorphins and serotonin, making this the perfect food-energy boost.

2.
Seeded bread £1.25

Hummus £1

Mango chutney £1

Carrots £0.39

Mixed leaves £1
Spread one side of one half of the loaf generously with hummus, and the other side of the other half with mango chutney. Grate the carrots into a large pile and top the hummus bread. Finish with a gathering of mixed leaves and squash down. Variations on this include sliced mixed peppers, sundried tomatoes or smashed whole chickpeas with some oil and spices.
Info: good bread again, hummus good protein source from chickpeas, carrots 1 of 5 a day, mango for umami flavour enhancing goodness. Which is definitely healthy and VITAL.
So if you got anything from this article, whether it be an alternative perspective on the homeless in Manchester, or a surprising revelation on the inexpense of vegan life, please think twice about the personal choices you make that contribute to a wider social expanse.

 

 

Preview: Manchester City vs. Dynamo Kiev

It’s back! Europe’s most illustrious football competition is back tomorrow, as Manchester City host Dynamo Kiev. This is the furthest that City have gone in the tournament, and they look set to go to the quarter finals! As it looks unlikely that Arsenal will beat Barcelona by more than two goals in the second leg of their tie, Manchester City are flying the flag for England in UEFA’s premier competition, despite the problems they may be facing domestically.

Last Time…

The First Leg: Dynamo Kiev 1-3 City

City ran out comfortable winners in February’s first leg at the NSC Olimpiyskiy stadium. With goals from the old guard Sergio Aguero, David Silva and Yaya Toure, City stepped up after a 5-1 defeat to Chelsea three days prior to the game; whilst Raheem Sterling, Vincent Kompany and Nicholas Otamendi also put in big performances. Hopefully the big guns can bring it again. City look comfortable going in, but Manuel Pellegrini insisted that the team will be starting the game at 0-0 and looking to win it.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Injuries:

·         Samir Nasri: should return after the international break.

·         Kevin de Bruyne: should return after the international break.

·         Fabian Delph: should return some time after the international break.

Manuel Pellegrini, in his pre-match press conference on Friday, stated that de Bruyne and Nasri will aim to play two games with the under-21s during the international break, in order to be ready for the games when the rest of the team return. He hopes Fabian Delph can be part of that too.

Quote of the presser:

“If I knew that, you know, obviously we’d have had it sorted by now” – Joe Hart on why City haven’t won back to back games since October.

The Story so Far: Champions League

2011/12

Even though City managed to get 10 points in the group stages, they still somehow didn’t do enough to make it through to the knock out stages. It’s hard to blame the Blues for this though, as this is unheard of!

Photo: Villarreal Away @Wikiedia Commons

2012/13

Three losses and three draws was a poor showing from City in the group stages as they exited the Champions League early on.

2013/14

With only one loss in the group stages at the hands of Bayern Munich in Manchester, City coasted through the group stages. A thumping victory in Germany returned the favour to the German side, when City came from 2-0 down to win during the group stages. Barcelona were waiting in the last 16, however, and City couldn’t get past them.

2014/15

City are never blessed with a nice Champions League group, but with just two wins in the group they still managed to see themselves get through to the next round. A 3-2 comeback against Bayern Munich easily being the highlight of the group stages, as Aguero ran riot in Manchester. However, City went out at the hands of Barcelona in the next round…again.

2015/16

Despite a very difficult group, City came out as group winners during the first stages of the European competition, seeing off Champions League finalists of last season Juventus, Europa League winners Sevilla and German powerhouse Borussia Monchengladbach. Now, Dynamo Kiev await.

Progress

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

No, not the name of Take That’s reunion album (I feel ashamed of myself for knowing that) but progress is what City have shown in the Champions League! This is the furthest the club have been in the competition, and they are in the best position possible to go through to the next round. Three away goals in the bag, a two goal lead, and playing at home—the odds are in City’s favour. Manuel Pellegrini noticed the improvement in his pre-match press conference: “I think that we [have] improved in the competition. We [qualified for the round of sixteen] twice in last two years. I think that this year we improve a little bit more because we won the group.”

Bounce-back

Norwich 0-0 Manchester City

Prior to City’s 0-0 draw with Norwich City on Saturday, Manuel Pellegrini stated that he would try to bridge the gap with Leicester in the next four games, and then see how City can kick on and win the league from there. Unfortunately, this draw looked more like two points dropped than one point gained. City basically dominated the match, but did not fashion very many chances despite their possession. City will feel reassured defensively, however, as Vincent Kompany and Nicholas Otamendi were yet again on form to keep the Canaries at bay. Pellegrini had been quoted saying that City would have to win nine of their last ten games in order to win the league—with one already out of the window, that now means City have to win all nine, according to Pellegrini. One thing is for sure: it is definitely a very interesting title race this year.

The Champions League this season has offered the reverse of what it has done in the past for City—it has acted as a distraction from the Premier League, as City keep on performing. Two standout performances this season being the away game against Sevilla, and the first leg of this round against Dynamo Kiev, highlight how City seem to be flourishing in the competition. A strong performance mid-week would give them the boost they need, which they would welcome with Manchester United being their next opponents in the Premier League.

Hart and Soul

Photo: Harry Newton

Joe Hart has been with City since 2006 after signing for £100,000 from Shrewsbury Town. He is City’s longest serving player and now the only player to still be with the club that wasn’t signed after the 2008 takeover. Where other players failed to improve and make the cut, Hart stepped up his game and is now City’s and England’s number one. He joined Pellegrini in the pre-match press conference before the Dynamo Kiev game.

Hart on his good performances: “I’m trying to repay the faith for being played the majority of the time… I need to be at that level if I want to be playing these sorts of games.”

Hart on the pressures of the Champions League: “You could look at it as pressure, but it’s something really exciting…It’s really exciting to be in this position.”

Hart on the Premier League title: “I’m never going to concede anything while it’s still up for grabs, and the Premier League is still up for grabs.”

Dynamo Kiev

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Hart was quick to highlight how tough a side Kiev will be in this game. When City last played them, they had been on a winter break and were still recovering, Hart described this as “either well-rested or slightly undercooked” in the conference. However, now they are playing again and have won both their games since the comeback to domestic football for the Ukrainians. Any Champions League team at this stage are there for a reason, and they will be tough opponents for the Blues. Hart noted how they were a dangerous side on the attack due to their two good wingers and the runners from deep areas, but you’d like to think that City will be a match for them.

Prediction

With City feeling so comfortable in the first leg, I cannot see it being incredibly difficult for the Blues at home in the second leg. Kiev will not go down without a fight, of course.

Manchester City 2-1 Dynamo Kiev.

The Labour Party and racism

The Mancunion recently brought attention to Young Labour’s alleged racism towards Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic (BAME) students. This follows the resignation of Alex Chalmers, chair of Oxford University Labour Club, over the organization (and Oxford’s student left) having “some kind of problem with Jews.” Despite Labour’s righteous attitude, these occurrences are not anecdotal.

In the 1950s, despite its links to Labour, the Movement for Colonial Freedom (MCF) similarly raised issues of racial discrimination within the party. The Labour Party’s cultivation of prejudice was not direct and perhaps that’s what made it so insidious as to continue today. As a socialist party they did little for de-colonization policies, seeing themselves responsible for the indigenous. This is evident in The Labour Party’s Post-War Policy for the African and Pacific Colonies, which in 1943 stated: “For a considerable time to come these peoples will not be ready for self-government, and European peoples and States must be responsible for the administration of their territories.” White man’s burden extended into the 1950s when disputes over Britain granting freedom to her colonial possessions split the party into “Liquidationists” and “Ameliorationists.”

Immigration from colonies into the UK started to increase a couple years before India and Pakistan gained independence. But an inflow of minorities wasn’t favorable among the Labour government either. In June of 1950, a review was established to consider ’the extent of the problems presented by the immigration into this country of colored people from British Colonial Territories’. Proposals for restricting the entry of Commonwealth workers included: applying aliens control on British subjects from overseas, legislation to deport British subjects, and confining stowaways (the 1950s version of an illegal immigrant). They were clearly sympathetic to the Irish though, as justifying these methods would be difficult if they were to pick and choose. The Review specifies that, “the use of any powers taken to restrict the free entry of British subjects to this country would—be more or less confined to coloured persons”. Indians, Pakistanis, and Blacks (the Cabinet document does not specify) were major targets for restrictions.

The only reason stricter rules weren’t implemented was because they didn’t feel the timing was appropriate. Keep in mind that this review board suggested a concealed color test to deem whether someone was worthy of coming into the country. It should be emphasised that these ideas weren’t rejected, just put aside until politically opportune.

What it did manage to produce was a difficult environment for non-white immigrant workers. There was no progressive, anti-racist framework that allowed the working class to properly respond to the growing minority presence. Racism was viewed as an accompaniment to colonial affairs, something exterior to the mainstream labour movement, not relevant to the cause and outside the concerns of Labour. The party had no incentives to enact policies that could alleviate negative portrayals when they were in office and when the Conservatives took over. Because, motivations aside, prejudiced responses were coming from them.

Toleration of discriminatory tendencies becomes perpetuations of racism. Presently, it is being manifested in Jeremy Corbyn’s associations with Holocaust denier Paul Eisen and references to Hamas and Hezbollah as friends. Like the 1950s, intolerance spreads from the top to the bottom. Resulting in occurrences like those involving Young Labour and OULC. But because political correctness must be maintained, intense prejudices are hidden behind claims of being anti-Zionist. This is not to say that anti-Zionists are racist but that incidents where members use that label to conceal themselves are becoming more common and less of an anathema within the Party.

Cutting ties with previously radical members is impractical. But promotions and endorsements could be limited to people who best represent the values of the party. It certainly is not the case now, being that Labour put a former British National Party (BNP) member to represent them on the Darwen council recently. I would be remiss to realise that BNP and Labour have strong ideological ties.

If ethnic voting patterns are any indication though, there is a chance that Labour might start to shift and maybe even stand up from its comfortable chair of inaction. A vote they could once count on, 2015 saw a decline of Labour to 52% and the Conservatives’ doubling of votes to 33%. Hindus, Sikhs, and Asians are all becoming more likely to vote blue, possibly giving Labour the political motivation to modify its passivity towards the problems of minorities.

There is no comparison being done here. The Labour Party could improve regardless of the Conservatives. Though its core beliefs are admirable, it stands in dichotomy with the conducts of the modern Party. The sanctimonious air that Labour students convey is hypocritical and fails to acknowledge their politicization of a higher moral ground.

Give me ale, reasonable food and quick service or give me death

The Union has long been the hallowed ground of uni students everywhere to escape after a hard day’s lectures or a particularly tiring seminar for which you might not necessarily have done all the required reading. All you want at the end of your day is a nice cold pint, or as I prefer, a glass of the sweet elixir that is Doom Bar. Now, I am not saying Doom Bar is the be all and end all of beverages. Other ales are of course available. But it is by far the best. However, the SU bar does not come close to living up to the standards that we should expect from a student bar. It is not great. It’s not THE place for uni students to go. It is merely, very ‘meh’.

My criticism of the mediocrity of another part of the SU may lead some of you to think that I have some colossal problem with anything containing the word union in it. You would be wrong. The Union of England and Scotland is one of my favourite kinds of union; and the Union of Great Britain and Ireland is something I would like to see return as soon as possible.

I only ask for decent services to be provided for a decent price. The SU bar seems to defy the laws of economics. It provides bad food and a poor selection of drinks for wholly unreasonable prices, something that were it operating as a private business in the real world lead to its closure thanks to a slew of bad reviews from Tripadvisor. I was in there just last Monday that and it took them longer to produce a bowl of Denver fries than it has taken me to write this article. The food is quite frankly sub-par at best.

The SU seems to be under the delusion that they should be competing with the likes of Kro Bar across the street or some gastro pub that has decided to stock one too many types of cider. Upon seeing the unnecessary volume of cider, I think even a resident of the West Country would blush. Might I make a helpful suggestion to the SU bar operators? Try diversifying to ale.

Some of you might think it peculiar to harp on about this specific drink but I think it is a cause worth championing. The Campaign for Real Ale will probably be defined as one of this century’s greatest campaigns. As a great man named Marcus Buist once said “It is the historic and inalienable right of every Englishman to have real ale, and it must be preserved.” They currently stock a measly amount of ale to the point that when this writer makes it into the bar around 8 or 9 o’clock, the taps are dry and yours truly is quite disappointed.

There is no Doom. No Trooper. Why is this you ask? Well the bar seems ignore the needs of those who like to partake in the quaffing of this drink on a regular basis. They might say that it would be too expensive and that no one would drink it. Well, it certainly seems to sell well at the Ford Madox Brown, and at not too extortionate a price. It is one of the most popular drinks in the country. It is a drink of kings and commoners alike. Where is the Bishops Finger, Spitfire, Help for Heroes, Hob Goblin, Black Sheep, Pedigree or anything from the Ringwood Brewery or Sharps?

The selection is as endless as a wait for a pizza in the Union. Do they think that we should prefer the sickly sweet sensation of a Kopparberg or the terrible piss water that is Blue Moon. I say to them, give it a trial. Have a broad selection on tap for just a week or two and watch it fly off the shelves. I expect demand is as high for ale in the union as the demand is for Ketamine at Antwerp Mansion.

The bar needs serious reform and we all know this. The food is crap, selection of beer is terrible and the prices are high enough to the point that Marie Antoinette would wince at the expense. Why do we not ask for more? Why do we tolerate such unbelievably dire service? Were it a bar in London, it would have gone out of business long ago and been replaced by a Cereal Café or some other hipster type bar. Let’s have a union we can be proud of; one which serves ale and can get your food to you in less than half an hour.

This will be my last article of the year. I know, my readers, that you will be sad. Possibly even borderline inconsolable. But I say do not fear. Feel free and prepared to dissent from all aspects of the Union and hold these people to account for their copious failings.  Follow your spirit, and upon this charge cry god for ale, good food and reasonable pricing.

The case for a Men’s Officer

As another year’s Students’ Union Executive Team elections come and go, it appears that yet again an opportunity has been missed for the creation of an officer whose role it is to represent men and men’s issues in the Students’ Union. This is something that needs to be created in order for men’s issues to be truly represented on the Executive Team.

From the outset, I would like to point out that I am not denying the need for a Women’s Officer. I am simply saying that there also needs to be a Men’s Officer. It is not fair or even equitable in the slightest that men’s issues are left floating in the ether in the hope that some other Exec Officer will actually care about them. This must stop, we need true representation for both men and women on our executive team.

Whilst researching this for this piece I came across an article written in opposition to a Men’s Officer by Helen Stevenson in 2013 in this same publication, and I would like to deal with a point she raises in her article.

Helen notes that men are vastly overrepresented. This is true, to some extent. I—in fact, no one—could deny that men are represented more than women in most areas of society. However, this does not ring true with our previous executive team, out of the eight roles available, only two were occupied by men. If we exclude the role of Women’s Officer, which it would be extremely difficult for a man to hold, this means that around 29% of the executive team, who are supposed to represent the entire student population, are women. To put this into perspective, 44% of the university population are male. Now, I do not plan on claiming that there is a need for a 50/50 gender split on the Executive Team, nor that women are incapable of representing men. I imagine that myriad factors mean that men are less inclined to run for Executive Team positions. However, I am firmly of the view that the inclusion of Men’s Officer would go a long way to rebalance the gender parity on the Executive Team.

In spite of this, the representation issue is not my main reason for a Men’s Officer. It appears that one of the main duties of the Women’s Officer is to raise awareness of the issues facing women. These are very wide ranging and for the purposes of this article I have put them into two categories: crime and welfare.

Firstly, crime issues; our previous Women’s Officer did some great work to raise awareness of women’s issues within the University through her ‘Reclaim The Night’ march. It is true that women are the overwhelming majority of victims of sexual offences; the statistics make for sad reading as women are around five times more likely to be the victim of a sexual assault than a man. However, let us not forget the 0.4% of men that are victims. These people are currently unrepresented in Students’ Unions across the country. A Men’s Officer could raise awareness of these issues and go some way to get rid of the stigma that men face when complaining of a sexual offence. This is a real issue; I imagine that the true number of men sexually assaulted might be much higher, but men are less inclined to come forward for feeling emasculated. There has been a lot of effort put into encouraging female victims to come forward, now we need to make a start on encouraging men too.

Moreover, the ‘Reclaim the Night’ march should have been extended. Why only focus on sexual offences? Why not extend the ambit of the march to cover all forms of violence which happen on the streets of Manchester at night? If we work this purely off a statistical basis, men are more likely to be the victims of violence than women, yet there is no mention of this in anything connected with the ‘Reclaim the Night’ march. Perhaps if we had a Men’s Officer on the Executive Team then the march might not have only focused on sexual violence perpetrated against women.

Secondly, welfare issues. There has been a relatively large amount of press and several campaigns which directly target the issues of men’s mental health. In order to try to raise awareness of the alarming gender disparity I would like to draw people’s attention to one statistic I find particularly alarming: Men are three and a half times more likely to commit suicide than women. A Men’s Officer could go some way to bringing more attention to these issues within the student community. It is important to get rid of the stigma attached to mental health for all genders. However, at present, there are two people who are tasked with this job—the Wellbeing and Women’s Officers. These people, who happened to both be women in the last year, therefore do not go very far to help reduce the stigma attached to men’s mental health.

Our Students’ Union needs a Men’s Officer to ensure men’s issues are truly represented. I know that this one article will probably not change the minds of many people. They will tell me to check my privilege, insult me, or tell me to ‘man up’. These are the sort of perceptions we need to change. I am not saying that women do not need representation, but that men also need it. Men have issues which bear a resemblance to those which women face. There must be something done to help change the perceptions that society holds. I fervently believe the only way to make a real inroad into bringing down these perceptions is through the creation of the position of a Men’s Officer.

UCL comes under fire after threatening student journalist with expulsion

University College London has been met with allegations of bullying after threatening to expel Rebecca Pinnington, the 21-year-old president of Pi Media, UCL’s official student media outlet.

University executives, led by Rex Knight, endeavoured to censor the student news magazine after one if its publications had been found to contain classified university finance forecasts. These documents, according to the UCL, Cut the Rent Campaign (UCL-CTR) prove that the university had been lying to the student body and the public about its rent cutting plans.

The report included information which detailed that the university would generate a considerably high profit from student accommodation fees alone next year. This stands in direct contrast to UCL management’s previous statements that “We make every effort at UCL to keep rents as low as possible.”

This news is directly linked to the ongoing rent strike in which over 500 students are said to be withholding over £1 million in accommodation fees. In their press release, the campaigners said: “The UCL Cut the Rent campaign – who have organised the ongoing rent strike – condemns this repression of legitimate dissent as the actions of a beleaguered and anti-democratic administration that must be held to account.”

Students working for Pi Media gained access to the documents after they were accidentally left open on a Microsoft Outlook Online calendar by one of the university executives. Furthermore, an internal university report was left accessible to students and staff only last month which also included information on the university’s financial projections.

When Pinnington published an article containing details of the university’s classified report, she was approached by UCL executives who have allegedly threatened her with disciplinary action, potential expulsion and legal action.

Although Pinnington did not include any official figures from the document, she was told by UCL executives that publishing confidential information would result in negative consequences for her. Pinnington told The Independent: “I felt intimidated, anxious and scared.

“As a student journalist I felt sad because this was information that was interesting and integral to student life, but it was made very clear that if I were to publish anything more I could lose my degree.”

Following the publication, Pinnington was allegedly approached by UCL Vice-Provost Rex Knight who ordered her to “immediately deliver up or destroy all copies of the UCL Confidential Information.”

UCL denies charges which accuse management of threatening Pinnington with expulsion. Campaigners for UCL-CTR, however, claim that they are in “possession of a letter clearly threatening journalists with expulsion, personally signed by Rex Knight – a UCL Vice-Provost.”

One of the rent strikers, Sarah Benemar, expressed her solidarity with Pinnington: ‘We rent strikers support Rebecca and admire her courage for speaking out about UCL’s repressive/aggressive actions.”

“This situation highlights what the strikers have long denounced as a culture of secrecy on the part of UCL management in their attempt to hide the exploitation of students in their undisclosed rent setting policy.”

The UCL-CTR campaign believes this is yet another example of UCL management abusing its power. Only last week the university proceeded with plans to evict rent strikers from their halls of residences. The campaigner further state that the university’s threats directed against Rebecca Pinnington are a “serious attack on press freedom” and prove that “UCL management’s response to student concerns has been to lie, bullying and threaten, with a total disregard for student welfare.”

The campaigners have announced plans to conduct a mass demonstration on Thursday, 17th at 6pm on the UCL quad.

Vix Nowak, a fellow rent striker, told The Independent: “UCL management’s repeated attempts to bully and threaten students are indefensible and we will make our outrage clear at the demonstration at UCL on Thursday. The rent strike will not be intimidated.”

The Mancunion will continue to update this story as it unfolds.

h/t The Independent.

University to ‘cut catering staff and lower wages’

An email leaked to The Mancunion appears to reveal how University of Manchester Conferences Limited (UMC) plans to make 43 staff redundant and lower wages paid to other staff.

This comes after last month’s implementation by UMC of the living wage for all staff of all ages, following years of campaigning by staff and students.

UMC is a private, wholly-owned subsidiary company of the university that provides catering services across campus and in the University’s Halls of Residence. UMC runs the Chancellors Hotel, The Chancellors Collection, FoodOnCampus, FoodInResidence, and BarsInResidence on behalf of the University.

In the leaked email received by The Mancunion, it was claimed that 60 out of UMC’s 283 staff have been told that their jobs are at risk. The email goes on to say that if less than 43 of these 60 do not accept voluntary severance, then UMC have announced that they plan to go ahead with compulsory redundancies.

Alongside this, UMC are allegedly planning to impose inferior contracts on the remaining staff, cutting salaries by up to a third.

Staff and students campaigned for several years for the living wage to be implemented across UMC and, as of the 1st of February 2016, it was announced that all UMC staff would be paid at least the living wage as set by the Living Wage Foundation, which currently stands at £8.25.

The company had said that the pay increase was just one of their planned actions within catering services, aiming to develop and improve “their financial performance and service quality.”

The new rate is £1.05 per hour more than the government’s National Living Wage, which comes into force in April. The National Living Wage is also only to be paid to people over the age of 25, whereas UMC announced they planned to pay £8.25 regardless of the age of their staff.

At the time of this announcement the University of Manchester’s Students’ Union Living Wage Campaign told The Mancunion that it was “a massive win for fair pay in the work place here at the University of Manchester, as over 300 members of staff will benefit from the change.”

According to our source, the company turned a loss of £114,554 in 2013/14 into a profit of £164,362 in 2014/15. The source suggested that this was why the company decided to join the student and trade union campaign for the living wage.

These claims of redundancies within UMC comes on the back of redundancies and further threats of redundancies to 38 employees and 68 IT staff last year, alongside 28 other staff this year.

Our source expressed concern with the direction the university is taking, especially expressing concern over the treatment of lower paid staff in contrast with those who earn the most at the university.

The Mancunion recently reported that the 103 staff are paid over £100,000 which, according to data obtained by the Taxpayers Alliance, this stands at almost one per cent of the University’s total employees.

The University of Manchester had the 23rd highest number of staff paid above £100,000 in the country.

These concerns are all to be raised with senior management at the university within the coming days. There will also be a meeting organised by the University of Manchester’s Students’ Union to begin a campaign against these job losses on Tuesday the 15th of March at 5.30pm in Room 4 of the Students’ Union.

A University of Manchester spokesperson has confirmed these claims and told The Mancunion that “following a review of catering services the University has opened a voluntary severance scheme for FoodOnCampus and FoodInResidence staff. Consultations have been arranged and support and advice is being made available to all affected staff”.