A survival guide to the Ali G

So you’ve survived the plague that is freshers’ flu, you’ve managed to make it to one 9am lecture and still have at least £10 to your name. But before you think you have university all figured out here is a survival guide to help you survive one of our university’s most challenging environments, the Alan Gilbert Learning Commons—or, as it’s commonly known, the Ali G. It has become notorious for its many unwritten rules, so here are 4 do’s and don’ts to help you successfully conquer it.

1. Do get there early. Timing for the Ali G is key. Seats go fast, so strolling in at 1pm means you most likely won’t find somewhere and you’ll probably end up opting for the library after awkwardly searching for a space on every floor.

2. Do keep your socks on. While this may seem like common sense some have been spotted with bare feet, even on desks. So as beautiful as your feet may be, please keep them covered at all times.

3. Don’t use your laptop in front of a computer space. For University of Manchester students this is one of the worst things you can ever do.

4. Don’t “reserve” a computer by putting all your stuff on the desk and leaving for hours on end. While the Ali G is a dog-eat-dog world, this is just plain selfish.

Abide by these rules and you’ll survive.