“Hey, Agony Aunt! I’m feeling a bit down today and need some girl chat. I know this sounds so dumb, but sometimes when I go on TikTok/Instagram, all I can see is how some of the girls are so flawless and perfect and it makes me feel so low confidence-wise.
I feel bloated all the time; my skin is so gross, and my clothes don’t look right. I don’t know what I want to wear to feel confident. Any advice?”
It’s easy to feel like this sometimes, even without being consciously aware of it. But the fact you’ve spotted this negative mindset and know that it’s from social media is great and really healthy. Rather than obsessing or consuming yourself over your insecurities, you’re saying, ‘Hang on, this isn’t normal. Something’s not right!
We all know social media has a huge effect on our self-esteem and how we compare ourselves to others. However, the discussion on focuses on teenagers instead of adults. Adults are just as susceptible to the pressures and beauty stereotyping of social media if anything putting them more at risk.
We have the funds to ‘fix’ our insecurities without a parent stepping in. Just think of how many reality stars you see burning their money on plastic surgery or designer goods just for social media acceptance. Botched and Snapchat’s Hooked on the Look is full of adults trying to find happiness through digital beauty standards.
With the rise of social media, terms like ‘bloating’ have become regularly used. It’s almost given us a new dialogue and mindset in which to view ourselves, and it’s an extremely critical and unhealthy one.
My advice is that if you want to feel more confident in yourself, purge your TikTok and Instagram. Unfollow everyone that makes you feel like shit. Over time, this will alter your ‘For You’ page so you see fewer influencers and teenagers prancing around on your screen trying to sell themselves as ‘authentic’.
You see, social media is one big lie. It’s the human Pinterest when people pose themselves in the most flatteringly aesthetic way possible. It’s a reinforcement to oneself that they’re doing okay/ ‘living their best life’. I mean, if social media fraud was a crime, a lot of LA valley girls would be in jail.
If your skin and clothes still bother you after this, there are some things you can do. For skin, I recommend going to Boots for a free consultation. These are informal, and the shop assistants listen to your budget and skin needs. I’ve found them really beneficial in the past.
Clothing wise, look at your wardrobe and pick out the items you hate, that may make you feel frumpy. Then, think of what you want instead. Use the internet to your advantage to find out what your body type is and what works well with it. You can use that info to buy a few staple pieces that will transform your old outfits and make you feel confident. For example, I have small breasts so I always go for a low v-neck bra or bikini because I know it’ll flatter my chest rather than hide it.
Overall, the most important thing to do is something you’ve already done: express how you feel. Don’t bury your insecurities. Tell friends and family how you feel and I can guarantee they’ll happily hype you up.
You go Glen Coco!
Kisses, Aunt Angela x
Need some advice? Send in your mishaps and worries here!