In the latest Tory Party conference, it was announced on Twitter that Prime Minister Liz Truss would deliver her speech “to a 90s classic“.
Signalling it was their time, dozens of middle-aged men flocked to their keyboards, ironically guessing what the tune could be. Pulp’s ‘Common People’ ultimately triumphed. With the song highlighting the privileged ignorance of middle-class students, contrasting the realities between them and “common people”, it accurately depicts the political climate England currently faces.
In the end, Truss came out to M People’s ‘Moving On Up’, with the band itself describing it as “a soundtrack to lies.”
As Liz Truss blunders our economy (with the pound sinking further in value during her 25-minute speech) and fails to alleviate the cost of living crisis, it got me thinking… What other ‘classics’ could Truss come out to? Well, as the PM herself put it, “In these tough times, we need to step up. I’m determined to get Britain moving”.
Stepped up I have indeed. If Liz ever needs some bangers to come out to, fear not, for The Mancunion has her back! Here are songs Liz Truss can make a grand Tory entrance to at her next public engagement. I’m sure this will certainly “get Britain moving”!
ABBA: ‘The Winner Takes It All’
“I figured it made sense/ Building me a fence/ Building me a home/ Thinking I’d be strong there/ But I was a fool/ Playing by the rules”
Although this original ABBA classic is about coming to terms with an ex moving on, a lot of links can be made to Tory policies, both past and present, that have left us where we are today.
A large reason Brexit passed was down to a significant chunk of the electorate, largely located in “left behind” areas and being white, working class, and male, wanting to ‘protect their jobs’ from ‘immigrants’. As a result, borders have been tightened over the past few years, with the excuse of putting Britain first and addressing social welfare pressures.
Just this week, Home Secretary Suella Braverman announced her “aspiration” to significantly reduce migration. In her first speech as Home Secretary, Braverman outlined a new policy that “will impose a blanket ban on anyone deemed entering the UK illegally from seeking refuge.” See this as a ‘fence’ if you will.
As for homes, thanks to our Chancellor of the Exchequer Kwasi Kwarteng’s ‘mini-budget’, mortgage rates and rents are soaring. I guess the winner (and banks) really does take it all.
Paramore: ‘Ain’t It Fun’
“Ain’t it fun?/ Living in the real world/ Ain’t it good?/ Being all alone”
Covid-19 caused an initial slump in university uptake in 2020. This year, thousands more students have fled the comfort of their homes, leading to a shortage in accommodation. The University of Manchester itself decided to house fresher’s in Preston and Liverpool – both respectively a two-hour commute each way. That will certainly kill the loneliness of being a fresher – right?
If that wasn’t enough, the cost of living crisis has driven up prices for everyday basics. I remember when Lidl milk was a bargain, and now it’s the same price as Sainsbury’s. Small things like that quickly add up, and without the bank of mum and dad, it leaves students with increasingly empty pockets.
Queen: Killer Queen
“Then momentarily out of action/ Temporarily out of gas /To absolutely drive (drive you wild, wild)/ She’s out to get you”
With the Russia-Ukraine war still underway, gas has become Russia’s secret weapon. Not only have gas prices increased 41% (compared to winter 2021/22) but the UK may be facing three-hour power cuts this winter.
Liz Truss’ solution? Fracking of course!
I can understand her thinking. It’s likely her hopes are that sourcing our own gas will lower energy prices and stimulate the economy. After all, her plan is pretty simple: “Growth, growth, growth!”
However, with people becoming more climate-conscious in recent years, this has received tons of backlash. It was found that only 17% of Britons supported fracking in 2021. Not only does it line the pockets of wealthy energy companies, but risks the health of those living near fracking sights. Obviously, this neither affects nor concerns Liz, and therefore isn’t an issue!
Plus, the Queen did die two days after meeting Truss…conspiracy theory: Trussicide?
Destiny’s Child: ‘Bills Bills Bills’
“Can you pay my bills?/ Can you pay my telephone bills?/ Do you pay my automo’ bills?/ If you did then maybe we could chill”
The main reason people dislike Truss (Tory or not)? Bills. Need I say more?
Oh wait, yes I can! In response to the cost of living crisis, the PM is considering making welfare cuts. With inflation rising by 3.9% in September, The Guardian reported: “The PM is likely to face another rebellion if she drops pledge to raise benefits in line with inflation.”
Did someone say ‘I Predict a Riot’?
Lily Allen: ‘The Fear’
“Life’s about film stars/ And less about mothers/ It’s all about fast cars/ And cussing each other/ But it doesn’t matter/ ‘Cause I’m packing plastic/ And that’s what makes my life so f*****g fantastic/ And I am a weapon of massive consumption/And it’s not my fault/ It’s how I’m programmed to function”
I’ll give you a quick rundown: Brad Pitt is being counter-sued by Angelina Jolie, the childcare crisis is getting worse, Kanye West is having another Instagram rampage (someone change this man’s password), the 45p tax rate, cosmetic surgery is continuing to grow in popularity, and Putin is eyeing up nuclear weapons. Quite a lot to take in, isn’t it?
The 1975: ‘People’
“It’s Monday morning and we’ve only got a thousand of them left/ Well I know it feels pointless and you don’t have/ Any money but we’re all just gonna try our f*****g best/ The economy’s a goner/ Republic’s a banana”
Despite being released two years ago, it’s scary how accurate ‘People’ has become. In her Tory conference speech, Truss was intercepted by Greenpeace protestors. As the speech went on, Truss chose to attack every non-tory she could in a single sentence: “I will not allow the anti-growth coalition to hold us back.
Labour, the Lib Dems and the SNP.”
But, what about the Green Party? Clearly, Truss doesn’t think much of them or climate policy. Secretary of State Jacob Rees-Mogg feels the same evidently, doubting the urgency of climate change instead favouring business pursuits. That’s when he’s not taking naps in Parliament.
Frank Sinatra: That’s Life
“I said that’s life (That’s life)/ And as funny as it may seem/ Some people get their kicks/ Stomping on a dream”
Finally, to round our playlist off, we have ‘That’s Life’. Why this isn’t a Tory anthem I do not know. It is traditional, a true classic, and deflects responsibility.
It relates to Truss particularly as her own party starts to turn on her, crushing her political dreams. If you need an exit playlist Liz, you know where to find me!
Get the full In Liz We Truss playlist here:
