Review: Dita Von Teese: The Art of the Teese

Dita Von Teese’s latest show, The Art of the Teese, played at Manchester’s O2 Apollo, following three sold-out nights at the London Palladium. Von Teese is the undisputed Queen of Burlesque, and at 46 years old, she has no plans of giving up her seat on her (glistening) Iron Throne.

The show took the format of a traditional burlesque revue, with a compère and several burlesque acts. The compère was the hilarious, Jonny McGovern; McGovern, whose character name is ‘The Gay Pimp’, is a stand-up comedian, musician and podcaster. He is also a cast member of ‘The Big Gay Sketch Show’. Govern was rude, crude, and a lover of the nude, and his hand fans were nothing short of fabulous.

Following Dita, the next performer of the evening was Ginger Valentine, a classic striptease artist whose award-winning acts have earned her the tagline: ‘The Professional Tease’. She gave birth to sex and love inside a giant heart frame, and she certainly kept the audience’s hearts beating the entire time. Up next was Zelia Rose, an illustrious talent who won ‘Best Debut’ at the reputable Burlesque Hall of Fame in Las Vegas to a standing ovation. She definitely drove the audience bananas with the bananas dangling from her waist, her dancing, and fiery energy oozing empowerment.

After the interval, we were greeted by Jett Adore, the ‘Most Innovative’ performer in burlesque (Las Vegas Burlesque Hall of Fame) and “the LeBron James of Burlesque” (Playgirl Magazine). With a flamboyant cape flowing from his broad shoulders and diamond studs covering his nipples, he wafted his shimmering sword through the air.

The final solo performer, before Dita returned for her final act, was Dirty Martini. Dirty drove the audience wild with her crazy curves and big personality, so much so that McGovern ordered an encore.

But the reason everyone went to see the show was of course to appreciate the Goddess that is Dita Von Teese. Accompanied by ‘The Vontourage,’ two fiery men with killer moves, Dita, “the girl in the glass,” opened the show with her renowned ‘Champagne Glass’ act. She soaked the stage in a matter of minutes, and the audience were drunk in love. Her next performance was the glamorous ‘Lazy,’ in which she took us back in time and made us feel nostalgic for a time we never knew. Lazy never looked so good. Her penultimate act was ‘Swan Lake,’ a brand-new performance. It was definitely a ballet striptease fantasy that had the audience longing to take a swim in that lake and never wake up from Dita’s “fetishistic ballet dream”. Dita closed the show with ‘Rhinestone Cowgirl,’ in which she stripped and danced on a pink mechanical bull.

The revue showcased the crème de la crème of burlesque and solidified Dita’s reign as the invincible Queen of Burlesque.