Five Songs in the Field of… Guilty Pleasures

1) Slipknot – Surfacing

Just fucking YES. You know what I’m talking about here. Six minutes of sheer rage, with THE GREAT BIG MOUTH, Corey Taylor, spewing bile over guitars that screech with siren-esque urgency. If I ever pluck up the courage to attend one of their gigs, expect me to crack many heads when they drop this. Just don’t believe Taylor’s frequent, mid-song proclamations that “you’re all going home in a body bag” – the systematic, nightly massacre of your fans would be a surefire way to sink your record sales, and we all know he’s not that daft.

2) Starsailor – In the Crossfire

One of the least-fashionable bands in recorded history dropped off the radar after Phil Spector selfishly ruined the recording sessions for their second album, Silence Is Easy, by murdering somebody. I’d estimate that around seventeen people heard On the Outside, but its opener, whilst hardly original, is an absolute stormer.

3) Norah Jones – Carnival Town

Big Norah Jones fan, me. It was upsetting when she turned up in the mind-numbingly shit Ted as the butt of a cheap sexual gag. Her newest record, Little Broken Hearts, is a genuinely interesting, Danger Mouse-produced slice of indie pop, but I dig her older, more formulaic stuff too, particularly this mellow cut from Feels Like Home.

4) Gunther – Ding Dong Song

Surely the most erotic piece of music of all time, it’s difficult to believe that self-described ‘former sexy nightclub owner’ Gunther dropped this international smash nearly ten years ago. Timeless, provocative and achingly beautiful, ‘Ding Dong Song’ is a musical microcosm of Gunther’s mantra – ‘champagne, glamour, sex, respect.’ Oh, you touch my tra la la?

5) Gary Glitter – Leader of the Gang (I Am)

Who could have guessed that ‘the man who put the bang in gang’ would turn out to be a dangerous sexual predator? Pretty much anybody, really. This track is an absolute riot, though, and should be remembered as such – good clean family fun. COME ON COME ON! COME ON COME ON!