Top 5…

Right now, all across the country, thousands of first years are arriving at halls, putting up their Che posters and asking themselves if they’ll ever be able to live in the same flat as the Man U fans across the hall. We can’t (contrary to popular opinion) be drunk all the time, so to break the ice we have to be creative. Movies are a great idea, but you might just have to pick them carefully…

   –   Das Boot   –

Some of you will think that the best way to get to know your new housemates is by watching Wolfgang Petersen’s art-house masterpiece about some German guys stuck in a U-Boat. It’s not.

   –   Oldboy   –

This is a tricky one. Great film show to friends, true. But then, at this early stage, when nicknames are just being forged, you really don’t want to leave yourself open to ‘psycho hammer boy/girl’ (at least try testing the water first with Battle Royale).

   –   Marley and Me   –

Your housemates will hate you. No, wait, everyone will hate you.

   –   In fact, anything with Jennifer Aniston   –

Jennifer Aniston movies are like a strain of the fresher’s flu virus. Someone in the flat is going to expose you all to one at some point, but no-one’s ever going to thank them for it.

   –   Rosemary’s Baby   –

There’s nothing wrong with watching a horror film. But if you put on Polanski’s terrifying classic, you’ll probably end up disturbing your new housemates so badly that they’ll all just go home again