Have you wondered why so many relationships begin in October? I did — especially after my own October love affair came crashing down in spring.
Autumn is more than falling leaves and spookiness; it’s also the start of ‘cuffing season’. As October rolls in, many of us feel that sudden urge to settle down with someone. Don’t worry, it’s not just you.
With a change in weather to colder and shorter days, we look for some comfort, fun, or maybe even someone to call ours through the cold, gloomy days that stand ahead. The thought of winter usually paints a vivid picture of couples making their way through Christmas markets, sharing a cup of hot chocolate with someone, and finally ending the year with a New Year’s kiss.
This overbearing expectation, added to your socials filled with couples proclaiming their love for each other, often leads you to seek a relationship.
This season, starting from October and ending in March has been named by many as ‘cuffing season’. The phrase first emerged in the 2010s and was supposedly first coined by student newspapers. Even Vogue discussed the concept in a 2015 article, explaining how the cold months are often marked with a deep desire for human connection and comfort.
We all crave that one person to understand us, like us, and really see us. Heading towards the end of the year, we often try to find that sacred connection and jump into a relationship to fulfil our emotional need to be held, especially in today’s world filled with ‘situationships‘ and ‘flirtationships‘.
This short-term relationship, in most cases, eventually comes to an end as spring begins. The new year often forces us to start afresh, set new goals and cut ties with anything holding us back. As the year progresses, spring brings the bright sun and often some clarity that highlights any broken foundations in the relationship.
Personally, my own October love affair followed the same pattern. It began in mid-October and broke down in late spring. It was a long-distance relationship with different time zones and tangled schedules. Despite the 5,000 miles between us, there was a lot of love. Long distance can be extremely hard, especially for students juggling submission deadlines and lectures. However, I’ve realised that distance doesn’t ruin anything whole, it only exposes what’s already cracked.
Our relationship thrived particularly in December — the season of lights, polaroids, and shared warmth. We were grateful to have found each other and to have someone to end the year with. At that time, love felt simple, enough, and like home. We even proudly claimed that finding each other was the highlight of the year. We entered the new year still wrapped in the same comfort, believing that what we had could outlast the cold.
But spring, as it often does, brought change. The world began to bloom, and so did our perspective. The problems in our relationship began to show in slower replies and fading excitement until one of us quietly began to drift. When it finally ended, it was messy, but it was also human. I learned that endings don’t make love less real. That season taught me how to love deeply, and just as importantly, how to let go gracefully.
You may think ‘cuffing season’ is something bad, but maybe it’s just part of growing. Though these relationships are often short, it doesn’t mean they aren’t real. They are real, but when push comes to shove, you will know when it’s not going to work out.
It might feel like the end of the world but trust me, good things take time and will definitely feel right. People come and people go, but those who matter most will definitely stay. I hope you enjoy this ‘cuffing season’, and even if you get your heart broken, hold your head high and live life by your rules.
