Agony Aunt Angela: Love triangle gone wrong
By Erin Botten
Welcome to The Mancunion’s Agony Aunt collum! Here is a safe space to vent and spill your woes. Is your boyfriend shit in bed? Friendship group getting bitchy? Questioning your life choices? Well, as your new agony aunt Angela, my words of wisdom will guide you to the right path. You are so welcome.
She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not…
“Hahaha girl, what have I done! I don’t want to have a relationship but I’ve somehow ended up in a love triangle. I slept with a guy on my course who very quickly ‘fell in love’ with me so I took the L. He’s still very much into me but I really like just hanging with him as pals (and low key the attention I get from him being obsessed with me). HOWEVER, I’ve started seeing another guy on my course casually who I actually do fancy. He’s a bit boring, but I do like him…But because he’s boring I find myself messaging the other guy when I’m drunk. Long story short, the other night I was hammered and stayed at the obsessed guy’s house and made out all night. This reignited his ‘love’ after I managed to chill him out last month. I can’t hurt his feelings by I also can’t fathom the idea of this getting out on my course. What do I DO!!!?”
Starting things off messy, love that. I had the same situation as you with the ‘Boring Guy’. Hot, but very boring – a tragedy. Luckily, if you’re seeing him casually and don’t want a relationship then he shouldn’t be offended that you’re texting other guys. If you’re finding him boring already it’s probably an indicator that you’re not the best fit.
The same goes for ‘Obsessed Guy’: you know you’re not romantically attracted to him. Sexually? Probably, but I think really you’re looking for a stable relationship where someone is attracted to you beyond your appearance (regardless of if it’s exclusive). This is what ‘Obsessed Guy’ is giving you unlike ‘Boring Guy’, hence why you keep comparing the two. One you like platonically, the other you like romantically, and both you like sexually.
Ultimately I think you’re going to have to be firm with ‘Obsessed Guy’. The best thing to do is apologise for the mixed messages, but also make sure he understands that his gushing and ‘love’ is overwhelming and borderline inappropriate. Encourage him to see other people and make sure he doesn’t confuse your friendship as something else. If he’s still obsessive in a few weeks, distance yourself from him over the summer break.
If this does get out as gossip onto your course, deny, deny, deny. Loads of people have found themselves in this situation, and it could easily be someone else. That, or brush it off as something funny and a bit messy. Either way, who you get off with is your business only. Good luck!
Kisses! Aunt Angela x