It can be quite scary buying your first sex toy, with many people feeling ashamed or embarrassed about using one. The patriarchal society we live in and the female stereotype of being submissive and ‘pure’ enforces a sense of shame for women when wanting to embrace their sexuality and take control of their sexual pleasure. It is even more difficult to come to terms with this as male pleasure has traditionally been the main focus of heterosexual sex. However, sexual expression and pleasure for non-white cis men is being increasingly supported throughout the media, so this article fits perfectly with the ‘Reclaim the Night’ feature – to reclaim female sexual pleasure, with a focus on the use of sex toys.
The orgasm gap is the disproportionate amount of orgasms women have compared to men. Many women have never experienced an orgasm despite being sexually active. It is the orgasm gap that allows male pleasure to dominate the communication surrounding heterosexual sex. This causes heterosexual women to experience the least sexual pleasure compared to heterosexual men and LGBTQ+ people (Pubmed.gov). Fortunately, the numerous sex toys available to buy nowadays mean that more people are having enjoyable sexual experiences. Thus helping people to ‘reclaim’ their bodies through sexual pleasure which they have been previously taught to dismiss. Although the world of sex toys can be very daunting, with many different colours, shape, and sizes to choose from, hopefully this article will be a good starting point.
Self-pleasure has many physical and mental positives to it that a lot of people overlook. Owning a sex toy is a huge stress reliever and helps fight insomnia. Self-pleasure and exploring your body will also make you more confident in the bedroom. Although it can feel inappropriate or awkward to encourage your partner to use a sex toy, toys should enhance sexual pleasure, and exploring them with your partner can enrich your sex life and relationship with them.
Buying sex toys online/in person: Buying sex toys in person can be a great experience if you’re new to using them, with people on-hand to offer you advice when looking for what you want to get from a sex toy – waterproof? Silent? Etc. However, lots of people prefer buying sex toys online to ensure more privacy – with lots of independent websites offering discreet packaging, this is also a popular way of buying sex toys. Love Honey is always a great go-to, especially for different budgets.
As previously stated, they come in a huge range of sizes, purposes, and colours, so it can be difficult to know which one is right for you. Ranging from love eggs, dildos, vibrators, strap-ons etc. I’ve included a fun quiz to help you find the one for you (supposedly): The Sex Toy That’s Right For You quiz
Although, generally it’s good to experiment with sex toys – no one knows your body as you do! With so many to choose from, I have selected a few that might appeal to you:
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