Moving into your new university accommodation is a process fraught with nervous excitement. Each area comes with its own pros and cons, let alone the stereotypes that come associated with it, so working out the reputation of where you’re staying can be a real minefield. To help, and of course to put our own literary twist on it, here’s a list which distils all the crazy accommodations into one book, to give you recommendations based on your University halls.
Oak House: The Catcher in the Rye by J D Salinger
Pretending to be edgy taken to the max. Thinking that everyone else is more posh and fake than you, blinding yourself to the irony that you own at least three Arc’teryx coats. A great book nonetheless, a fun whirlwind romp full of adventures and excitement despite the obvious flaws.
Richmond Park: Moby Dick by Herman Melville
An undervalued and often forgotten book, but still an utterly reliable classic that can still bring a lot of enjoyment. However, for some, it is just a big but ultimately forgettable experience, only remembered when someone starts talking about the ‘most boring’ of something.
Sheavyn: The Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata
A modern classic, and a real dark horse. Really well-crafted content, nicely laid out and very easy and comfortable to read. However, ultimately, crafted to be mediocre in every sense; perfect for anyone who revels in the ordinary every day.
Ashburne: Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
A piece of art in literary form. Created entirely around the lives of rich socialites living their best lives, swanning from beautiful gardens to rooms to libraries – private chefs included and all. However, that lifestyle doesn’t come cheap, and the gorgeous buildings come with the associated price tag.
Uttley House: Guinness World Records
A new, shiny and perfectly organised book. Really fun to dip into now and then to break up the routine and have a bit of easy enjoyment, but would get quite boring if you went from cover to cover. A true halfway house between exciting classics and slow burners.
Woolton Hall: Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Based on communal living, restrictive times for catered meals and events put on in aid of community. It could be seen as either really good or really bad based on your perspective and, ultimately, your need for independence.
Unsworth: American Psycho by Brett Ellis
More famous for its glitzy reputation than the thing itself. A true study of the rich and, as some Unsworth residents behave, the famous. It either becomes your personality to like it, or you never mention you have any association with it. No matter what, you will be judged for living here, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Denmark Road: Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald
The first time you mention it, everybody will roll their eyes and you will be ‘the pretentious one’. Another character study in the upper echelons of the wealth spectrum. However, dig a little deeper and you will find truly amazing content.
Whitworth Park: The Harry Potter series by J K Rowling
A big name; known universally, for good or bad reasons. Super popular, with a truly illustrious cast of characters. Also great for its convenience; could be seen as a nice and comforting gateway into more testing material as you spread your wings.
Victoria Park: On the Road by Jack Kerouac
A book truly about being out in the middle of nowhere and having nothing in particular to do. It may be perfect for some who enjoy the rhythm of a quiet life, but for others could be seen as the epitome of drudgery.
