Are student stereotypes fact or fiction?

The words “student” and “university” welcome a tidal wave of imagery: botched dinners, murderous hangovers, all-nighters for procrastinated essays, the confining walls of Oak House, eye bags, empty vodka bottles, and even emptier bank accounts. 

These connotations are not a universal assumption and inexplicably depend on the individual experience. They are, however, labels that have been cemented to the student name since the beginning of time – regardless of how true they may be.  

I’m on the case to break this down. I’m no Sherlock Holmes – I have watched the series if that gives me any credibility – and as he says, it is elementary. Using the powers of my mind palace, observation, and gossip, I have collated a mental scrapbook of experiences from me and the people I know to judge how accurate student stereotypes are. 

Depictions of the average student day go something like this: 

1. Stumble in at 4am and pass out on bed, still in jeans
2. Prise your eyes open
3. Throw up your guts and the post-clubbing McDonald’s Big Mac – usually midday onwards
4. Miss all your lectures
5. Eat your first meal of the day (Pot Noodle) at 8pm and pray that you keep it down
6. Vow to never drink again
7. Do it all again the next night

I would like to claim I have never done this… and I will, because I am a liar. But people I know definitely have… irresponsible. 

Evidently, stereotypes are a heinous generalisation that omits any diverse and individual experience from the tale. They exaggerate to the point of satire and ridicule. But these clichés weren’t plucked from mid-air… 

Rowdy, irresponsible, and a little unhinged, being a student means knowing your limits and saluting them on your way past. So I think it is fair to say the stereotypes have a leg to stand on. 

Attendance, hangovers, or both?

Coming in hot for the first one with a typical assumption about students; attendance is poor because we’re too hungover to go in. Almost everyone has been guilty of this at some point (don’t lie), and if a student claims they missed their 9am, you’d assume it’s because they were hungover. In some cases, you might assume that they are still drunk. And nine times out of ten you’d be right. 

When you’re in your late teens or early twenties and receiving a student loan every 4 months – which is basically free money as far as I’m concerned – spending it on going out is normal. Rational, even. 

So if a 9am must be sacrificed for this noble pursuit? So be it.

Going out all the time?

Manchester is renowned for its nightlife, and rightly so. I did not realise how lucky I am to be a student here until I visited my friend in Exeter. We hit up one of the five clubs they have on a Saturday night and found… an empty room. Seriously, there were about 20 people. There were proverbial dustballs sweeping across the place. It was so desolate I had the space and lack of eyes on me to do the worm on the floor, badly. 

I will never take the Manchester clubbing scene for granted again. Many students here take advantage of it – in fact, many come here for that reason.  

However, I got old quickly, as did clubbing. With every year you see more light leave people’s eyes when someone suggests going to Factory. Now, I am in my granny era. My friend suggested bingo the other day. I said yes.

Going clubbing occasionally is still great fun – I am not a complete hermit yet – but so is watching movies with a cup of tea, wrapped burrito-style in a blanket with Harry Styles’ face on it. 

I would also like to avoid the necessity for a liver transplant until I am at least a few decades older.

Idiot Sandwich

Look, I know we’re on a tight budget and there is a cost-of-living crisis, but some meals I have witnessed being concocted really do need Hell’s Kitchen to intervene.

Students’ skill levels in the kitchen range from Remy from Ratatouille to that-looks-and-probably-tastes-like-a-rat’s-backside. I have seen some abominations. I will admit, I have also made some abominations. 

With the rise in consciousness about healthy eating for wellbeing, gym culture, and veganism, not all student meals are train wreck disasters. There is, undoubtedly, an eclectic range of culinary aptitude amongst the student population, but the cliché that students cannot cook like functioning adults is upstanding. My friend almost exclusively consumes microwaved mashed potato for dinner every night. 

It’s a mess.

Student houses are truly the height of luxury. I just adore how every appliance works without fault, sanitation levels rival those of hospital wards, landlords are efficient and compassionate, and the buildings are structurally sound. 

So structurally sound that the bathtub in my house nearly came through the kitchen ceiling. 

Students are not the most hygienic creatures and the dwellings we inhabit prove as much. The fact that they are usually shared with a plethora of other unwanted animals doesn’t help. 

No living conditions are exactly penthouses, but even the sanitary ones are chaos. I am eternally grateful for the cleanliness of my seven-girl household and our little domestic adventures. There is no one I would rather put out a pan-fire or report knotweed to the council with.

Since these student clichés ring with truth, I prefer to think of them as a well-earned reputation rather than stereotypes. As students, we’re merely relishing our time to have fun before we relinquish ourselves to the shackles of capitalism and the creeping dread of a nine-to-five. May my student days be forevermore.