There’s something romantic about the idea of a solo date—sipping coffee in a quiet café, wandering through an art gallery with no one dictating your pace, or treating yourself to a cinema trip without the need for whispered commentary. Yet, for many, the thought of doing these things alone still carries an unnecessary stigma. Why is it that we celebrate independence in so many areas of life, but hesitate when it comes to simply enjoying our own company?
Part of it comes from the fear of being judged. We assume people will look at us, pity us, or wonder why we’re alone. But the truth is, no one cares. Everyone is too caught up in their own lives to notice that you’re reading a book in a café without company or buying a cinema ticket for one. And even if they did notice—so what? The ability to enjoy your own company is a sign of self-assurance, not social failure. Once you realise that being alone doesn’t mean being lonely, solo dates start to feel less intimidating and more empowering.
Spending time alone also has a surprising effect on your confidence. The first time you take yourself out on a date, it might feel a bit awkward. You might fiddle with your phone a lot, be hyper-aware of your surroundings, and worry that you look out of place. But the more you do it, the less you care. You start to feel comfortable occupying space on your own, and soon you’ll wonder why you ever hesitated in the first place. Psychologist Dr Natalie V Bailey, agrees that spending quality time alone can be a valuable tool in our mental health kit, stating that “Solo dating is all about self-love, self-discovery, growth and empowerment,”.
Spending time alone isn’t just an act of self-care; it’s a reminder that your own presence is enough. A solo date lets you move at your own rhythm—whether that’s lingering over a book in a coffee shop, aimlessly exploring a new part of town, or indulging in a meal at your favourite restaurant – without the small talk. Instead of worrying about entertaining someone else, you can be fully present, noticing the details you might otherwise overlook.
It’s also a great way to slow down and be present. Without conversation or distraction, you’re forced to sit with your own thoughts and actually engage with your surroundings. You’ll notice things you usually miss—the background music in a café, the details in a painting, the feeling of the sun on your face during a solo walk. It’s in these moments of solitude that you often feel most connected to yourself.
The key to truly enjoying solo dates is to romanticise them. Turn small, everyday moments into something special. Buy yourself fresh flowers, dress up for your coffee run, or plan a day where you do nothing but visit places that bring you joy. Treat yourself how you’d treat a friend you adore—because that’s exactly who you are. Society often frames being alone as something to be fixed. But there’s nothing broken about solitude. Learning to enjoy your own company is one of the most powerful things you can do for your confidence, independence, and overall happiness
Of course, there’s a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. The more you embrace solo experiences, the more you realise that solitude can be a gift rather than something to escape from. Confidence grows when you learn to enjoy your own company, and that self-assurance follows you into friendships, relationships, and every other aspect of life.
So, if you’ve ever hesitated to take yourself on a date, consider this your sign to do it. Order that coffee, stroll through that museum, or book that table for one. The best company you can have is your own—so why not enjoy it?
