Rebecca Lucy Taylor, the woman behind Self Esteem, is widely known as a critics’ darling after her second album Prioritise Pleasure received five-star reviews across the board, in addition to a nomination for the 2022 Mercury Prize.
Taylor battled online scrutiny that led her to think of “giving up” entirely; for the 7,500 fans who gathered across her three sold-out dates at Manchester Academy, however, it’s a good thing she didn’t. The fully-fledged pop star put on a highly emotional, ever-empowering live show which proved just how deserving she is of the praise that comes her way.
As the final notes of George Michael’s ‘Faith’ rang out from the stage speakers, an all-female choir filed onto the stage, dressed in robes recalling The Handmaid’s Tale. ‘I Do and I Don’t Care’ was chosen to open the show, proving to be even more powerful live than on record with its haunting but hopeful resilience. Taylor stepped onto the stage to deliver the song’s monologue, and all that could be heard for the first moments were the screams of her devoted fans. ‘Mother’ saw a quick change in tone, with Self Esteem’s choir revealing themselves as backing dancers, displaying jolting movements and remaining flawlessly in sync while giving the appearance of spontaneity.
Taylor’s vocal prowess was exhibited during ‘Lies’, her collaboration with jazz-rock maestro Nadine Shah. The song flowed seamlessly into the sexually explicit single ‘69’, which is both humorous and empowering, seeing Taylor tell listeners what she likes and dislikes in the bedroom with no holds barred. On stage, she recreated the positions described with members of her choir, before de-robing to reveal a ‘69’ jersey which is sold as part of her official tour merchandise. As the track drew to a close, Taylor asked “You alright Manchester? Is this anyone’s first time tonight?”, gaining laughs from her audience.
‘You Forever’ followed, professing determination in a relationship in contrast to ‘Logic, Bitch!’, a track which features a contribution from Life Without Buildings‘ Sue Tompkins. Despite this song’s exclamative title, it is highly touching and emotionally resonant, seeing Taylor mourn the end of a romantic partnership while insisting she’ll “Let the love evolve, together but alone”. Onstage, Taylor began the song accompanied by nothing but a microphone stand and a singular light, before being joined by a trumpeter who delivered a tear-jerking solo as Taylor peeled and ate a perfectly ripe banana.
Spirits picked up again with ‘Prioritise Pleasure’, before Self Esteem’s magnum opus ‘Fucking Wizardry’ appeared. Bold in its instrumentation and defiant but vulnerable in its lyricism, the track represents everything Self Esteem stands for: as Taylor identifies the problems in her life and relations, she reaches an empowering conclusion that “I ignored the warnings, but from that I’m learning”.
Similar can be said of ‘The Curse’, which Taylor introduced by pulling out an acoustic guitar and joking “This one’s called ‘Wonderwall’”. The conclusion that Taylor finds within ‘The Curse’ is “If I’m sober or drunk, it’s still me in the middle of the problem”, recognising her complicated relationship with alcohol yet understanding that the first step towards healing is acceptance and self-observation.
‘In Plain Sight’ is perhaps the most beautiful four minutes of Taylor’s recent album A Complicated Woman, featuring plucked guitar notes and a thought-provoking contribution from Moonchild Sanelly. Sanelly was absent this time around, but Self Esteem and her choir paid tribute by facing away from the crowd as her verse played through the venue’s speakers.
‘What Now’ and ‘The 345’ followed, with the latter proving a celebration as embraces were shared by the various performers within Taylor’s troupe. Throughout the song, all remained entirely immersed in their craft, but also in the power of the music they were creating: raw emotion showed in every face on stage.
A disco ball and inflatable sky-dancers were utilised during ‘Cheers To Me’, a song that validates the BBC’s claim that Self Esteem’s “Melodies were made for stadiums”. ‘If Not Now, It’s Soon’ affirms this further, featuring striking violin elements and stirring choral components.
Before closing the main portion of her set, Taylor paused to inform the crowd that her tour was raising money for Choose Love, a charity who provide humanitarian aid where it is needed most, and Schools Consent Project, who educate children on the importance of appropriate sexual conduct.
‘The Deep Blue Okay’ brought Self Esteem’s set full circle, as the bulk of her performance began with the opener of A Complicated Woman, and ended with its emotive closer. Swiftly returning to the stage, Taylor exclaimed “Oh my God, I came back on! I didn’t do that the last two nights, so you guys are really lucky”, before confessing that “I didn’t love me much this year, even though I stand here and say all this shit”. When addressing her audience, Taylor demonstrated the same mixture of honesty and humour that can be found within her music: at one point, she stated “I don’t work with anyone who’s a dickhead or anyone who’s unattractive”.
Lauding the crowd, Taylor insisted “This is the happiest I’ve been in a very long time, this has absolutely been the best three days we’ve done, thank you”, before opening her encore with ‘I Do This All The Time’, a song which offers advice such as “Getting married isn’t the biggest day of your life, all the days that you get to have are big, be wary of the favours they do for you”. ‘Focus Is Power’ then brought an apt end to the night with its declaration that “I deserve to be here”, highlighting Taylor’s own worthiness while also justifying the presence of each and every attendee.
The beauty and genius of Self Esteem’s music lies in the emotions it can evoke, discernible in both her own performance and the response of her adoring crowd. Throughout her set, it was illuminating to witness Taylor’s fans and the different experiences they were having, but the one thing that united them was the pure passion they shared. Tears streamed throughout the night, of both joy and sorrow, and it remains to be said that only someone as important as Self Esteem can inspire that kind of reaction.
Rebecca Lucy Taylor is a force to be reckoned with, and her final Manchester Academy show cemented her as one of the most significant voices in modern music.
