Skip to main content

Month: November 2016

In Defence of Paul Pogba

Written by Magnus Henderson on . Posted in Sport.

The explosive growth of football in the past two decades has had huge effects on the way the media and fans view the game. Two of the biggest impacts have been money and patience.

You used to be able to pick up ‘world class’ talent for the snip of £30 odd million (see Wayne Rooney). That same amount of money was spent by Tottenham Hotspurs over the summer to pick up Moussa Sissoko. Now, while Sissoko is without doubt a capable footballer, he is not regarded as a ‘cream of the crop’ type player.

Paul Pogba, on the other hand, is. He cost Manchester United a world record £89.25 million, and there seems to be very little patience going around for the young Frenchman.

A key criticism focussed at Pogba has been his price tag and the failure to live up to it. The thing is, nowadays, in buying a footballer you are not just buying what the player is going to give you on the pitch, you are buying a brand.

Manchester United is the most commercial football club in the world, most recently signing off a partnership with Milly, who will now be the club’s global “mattress and pillow partner”. Ridiculous, right? Well, not really.

United have successfully expanded as a corporation in the last three years to ‘world domination’ levels, which is ironic as the football being played at Old Trafford has gone through its worst stint in two decades. United are expected to overtake Real Madrid as the world’s richest football club in this financial year. If United are still growing in such a negative football climate, surely they are doing something right in terms of marketability? Suddenly the deal with Milly does not look so silly.

Anyway, without getting too side-tracked, United were not just buying Pogba’s ability for £89 million, they were also buying a marketable icon who can push the club into a new economic stratosphere. In the first three weeks after the transfer was made official, United’s “Pogba 6” shirt sales made almost £200 million.

While obviously most of that money went to Adidas and not United, that kind of marketability makes the club look very attractive for sponsorship; it is no wonder that Adidas’s kit deal with United is the most expensive in history.

There is also Pogba’s personality which is expensive. The confident, outgoing and humorous Frenchman knows how to run his self-image on social media and is one of the most influential footballers, in that aspect, in England.

His mocking videos with Zlatan Ibrahimović and Jessie Lingard draw particular attention from youthful fans and, again, increase his and United’s market value.

Mino Raiola also had a very important role in the transfer price, as you would expect from one of the most infamous football agents.

In a recent interview with the Financial Times, Raiola hinted at receiving a fee in relation to third-party ownership (which was banned in 2015) of Pogba. According to the Mail Online, this fee could have been up to £20 million, although it is not certain if this was paid by United or Juventus.

Buying a player in the modern football environment is not simple. Therefore, when your classic football cynic turns around after Pogba misplaces a pass and mumbles, “well that was not worth £89 million”, you can look at him in dismay, shake your head and list the above reasons. Alternatively, if you want to keep your social life, you can growl at the TV and shake your fist at the absurdity of modern football.

Investment in footballers, like in a car or a fancy jacket, is about long-term quality.

If your car decided to disintegrate after a quick trip to the shops, or your jacket caught fire after wearing it to the pub once, you would not be a happy bunny. The same can be said for footballers. Juan Mata cost Manchester United £38 million in the January of 2014. If you had asked a United fan if he had been worth it six months later, the simple answer would probably be ‘no’.

However, fast forward to present time and Mata has sufficiently paid off his debt to the club: two beautiful goals against Liverpool in Steven Gerrard’s last ever game against United (famously known as “Juanfield”), an equaliser against Crystal Palace in the FA Cup Final which the Reds went on to win and, most recently, a goal to knock City out of the EPL Cup add up to more than enough goodwill to justify his fee.

Pogba, likewise, if assessed now, is not worth what United have paid for him. Only time will tell if the Frenchman was worth the record transfer and so patience must be preserved if a logical judgement is to be made.

The fee United paid for Pogba’s on-the-pitch-footballing value is probably closer to the £50 million mark. With that, if you compare Pogba’s stats for the season so far to those who have been praised for being in good form (in this case, I chose Eden Hazard, Philippe Coutinho, Mesut Ozil and Kevin De Bruyne), you will find that the Frenchman is not too far behind the best creators in the league.

Per game, Pogba is fourth (out of the five) in key passes and chances created and third for successful take ons. The Frenchman has also played the most accurate through balls in the entire league. What makes those stats even more impressive is the fact that Pogba starts much deeper in midfield than any of the comparative players. Because of this deeper position, Pogba also has to produce a defensive display, and he comfortably beats Hazard, Coutinho, Ozil and De Bruyne in interceptions, tackles and clearances.

Now, if you think those defensive comparisons are unfair because that is not the comparative players’ roles, let us parallel Pogba with N’Golo Kanté, Jordan Henderson, Francis Coquelin and Fernandinho.

Per game, the United player is last when it comes to interceptions but has won the fourth most tackles and the most aerial duels by a distance.

These comparative players, like the attackers, have all been individually praised for their good form this season. It seems baffling, therefore, to slate Pogba for ‘not being up to the task’ when he is doing two players’ jobs in one, and still keeping up stats with some of the best in the league.

Enough of the stats. Pogba’s performances against Manchester City and Burnley at the end of October alone should be enough to illustrate how good a player he is. Only a fantastic Willy Caballero save could stop the Frenchman from scoring against the ‘noisy neighbours’ and Pogba should have had at least three assists from the Burnley game, if it were not for Ibrahimović’s woeful finishing.

Pogba’s two goals against Fenerbahçe at Old Trafford were written off because they were in the Europa League but the second, in particular was, a strike fitting of Cristiano Ronaldo or Gareth Bale.

Pogba has the talent, and at the tender age of 23, the Frenchman is only going to get better in the next five years. If anything, it is United who are doing their world record transfer a disservice, rather than the other way around.

Live: George the Poet

Written by Calum Pinder on . Posted in Music.

23rd October at Band on the Wall

8/10

As we walk into Band on the Wall the atmosphere is relaxed, people mill about with their drinks and there’s no great feeling of anticipation of the act to come. This isn’t surprising. The London born rapper-poet performing tonight has only one EP and a number of singles available to listen to. And, given the variety of style and subject of his available music, it’s safe to say the punters here tonight don’t know what to expect from George the Poet.

The lights dim and the crowd turns its attention to the stage. Accompanying band, The Composers, take their place in front of drums, keys, and bass and begin to play a building jazzy backing. George Mpanga’s voice comes through from offstage, setting the scene for the show. As the music builds he walks onstage smart and smiling and the night begins. Opening with brand new track ‘Wake Up’ George the Poet’s careful and considered delivery is enthralling. He appears to speak directly to the crowd and it is hard to turn away for a moment.

Despite playing some previously released tracks, the show focused on following a narrative rather than performing hits. The result of using this format was an interesting and engaging spectacle. George confidently weaved between songs and poems tackling different issues from Brexit, through unplanned pregnancy to climate change, directing his listeners to take action through a variety of social activism organisations. The gaps between songs were hardly identifiable as Mpanga talked to the audience with such flow and rhyme that it could have been meticulously rehearsed.

Musically, The Composers and George the Poet complimented each other well, each giving the other space to exhibit their respective huge amounts of talent. The instrumental hip-hop and jazz was the perfect backdrop for Mpanga’s casual but melodic spoken word. As George the Poet jumped from topic to topic, transitioning between them with ease and charm, it’s not hard to see why he’s being billed as one of the best upcoming political spoken word artists around.

How to get published in literary journals

Written by Elizabeth Gibson on . Posted in Books.

Submitting your work to a literary magazine can be daunting — I certainly felt out of my depth when I began a few years ago. However, through sending my work out, being an editor at a magazine, and finally starting my own, I’ve learnt a huge amount about the process, and in this last year my acceptance rate has skyrocketed. Hopefully my advice will help you find success, too.

The first thing to do is pick the magazine and the work you’re going to send them. Check if there is a theme and stick to it. If the issue you’re aiming for has the theme ‘Love’, don’t call your poem ‘Love’ – in fact, try to avoid having the word in the title at all. They will likely have a large number of submissions that do this and they don’t want their contents page to be too repetitive.

Secondly, format your work correctly. Unless the magazine’s website says otherwise, single-space poems and double-space fiction, with fiction give a word-count. Do everything in Times New Roman, size twelve. Insert a page break between each new piece by clicking “Insert” then “Page Break” on Word; don’t just keep pressing Enter, as this can screw up the formatting in the long run.

Next, onto the actual submission. Most magazines operate online these days, so you’ll probably be either emailing your work or uploading it to a submission manager (usually Submittable). Emailing is usually pretty simple. Do try and find out the editor’s name, rather than just saying, ‘Sir or Madam’. Try to sound friendly but professional and don’t gush too much about how much you like the magazine; just say it would be great or an honour to see your work there. With Submittable, follow the guidelines carefully, as they vary from magazine to magazine. Sometimes they’ll want your submission to be anonymous, so make sure you remove your name from both the document itself, and the file name.

They’ll often ask for a third-person biography. If no word limit is give, I’d keep it around eighty words. Only go ‘quirky’ if the magazine looks like the sort to want that — otherwise just calmly list the places you’ve been published and any other relevant information, for example any work or volunteering you’ve done in the arts sector.

Then you wait. Maybe you’ll get an acceptance, which is wonderful. Maybe you’ll get a rejection, but then at least that poem or story is free to send elsewhere. Stay positive and always work on honing your craft. I hope this advice was useful — my magazine, if you are interested, is Foxglove Journal. I would love to hear from you!

Review: Eimear McBride at The Manchester Literature Festival

Written by Beth Woods on . Posted in Books.

On Thursday the 20th October The Centre for New Writing, in partnership with Manchester Literature Festival, hosted Eimear McBride in conversation with John McAuliffe. McBride is one of today’s most captivating authors; her debut novel A Girl is a Half-Formed Thing won the 2014 Baileys Women’s Prize for Fiction and her latest publication, The Lesser Bohemians, has been shortlisted for The Goldsmiths Prize 2016. Following questions from McAuliffe and the audience, McBride spoke compellingly on a range of topics from memory and masculinity to modernism.

McBride’s passion for the power of story-telling was clear in her answers; her discussion of The Lesser Bohemians as addressing the ‘forgotten history’ of many Irish immigrants who came to England and settled happily, reminded audience members of the importance of continually retelling and rewriting the past. The Lesser Bohemians, McBride explained, achieves this through a narrative in which the characters “find ways in which they can live with their own vulnerability”and become at peace with their identities.

McBride described how, as a drama school graduate, she uses her knowledge of acting techniques to create true to life characters, a process that works in tandem with her stream of consciousness style. Commenting that she aims to “make language do what the actor’s body does”, McBride provided a fascinating insight into her method of presenting our complex, messy and fragmented interior worlds on the page.

This formal experimentation has often led to comparisons with modernist literary giants such as Joyce, most notably by Jacqueline Rose but also by audience members at the event. McBride’s response was intriguing as she problematized how critics have difficulty in finding ways to talk about her work without referencing Joyce, despite many differences between them. She expressed a profound desire for her writing to stand on its own, outside this critical culture of comparison and categorisation, prompting thought on the language used to discuss new and experimental writing.

McBride discussed further frustrations in the reception of her work, particularly the trouble she faced getting her first novel published, suggesting “that big commercial publishers still operate with a very limited sense of what is appropriate and saleable as ‘women’s fiction'”, to use Dr Kaye Mitchell’s words, Senior Lecturer in Contemporary Literature and Co-Director of the Centre for New Writing. The large turn out and warm reception of McBride at events, like Manchester Literature Festival, demonstrates that readers do not share this limited perspective, and are excited by innovative and experimental fiction.

As Mitchell notes: “McBride’s work is a vibrant example of the novel’s continuing capacity for reinvention and innovation” and thus it is of vital importance that the Centre for New Writing and Manchester Literature Festival continue to provide a space for readers to connect with and celebrate writers at the cutting edge of their trade. It is clear that McBride’s work reveals the importance of retelling and rewriting stories for both the characters in her novels and her enthralled readership.

The lessons learnt from Jailbreak

Written by Isidora Cortes-Monroy on . Posted in Lifestyle.

“You’re travelling 30 hours as far as you can from Manchester without spending any money? Are you crazy?”: My mum asked. Truth be told, at this point I was beginning to believe I was. My partner and I were sitting at Edinburgh airport with tickets to Palma de Mallorca, when a mere twelve hours ago we had been roaming disheartened through Manchester. We had been convinced we would not leave the UK, perhaps not even Manchester. And now we were in Scotland, about to go to Spain. The whole thing was surreal.

If I were to describe Jailbreak in one word it would be “rollercoaster”. Never in my life had I passed through all of life’s most extreme emotions in such a short space of time. There were moments of intense despair, discouragement, frustration, and anger when things did not turn out how you expected them to. However, there were also moments of explosive excitement, happiness, relief, and hopefulness. We had travelled through 3 countries in 30 hours. We had talked to hundreds of strangers, explaining our situation. We were dizzy from the fast pace of events. It almost felt impossible to keep up.

But you had to keep up. When you remembered that you were not simply doing this as an insane personal challenge, but as a challenge to fundraise, you pushed forward. And the more you pushed, the further you went, the more you strove to fundraise. Every time a stranger told you what you were doing was amazing and for a good cause, you felt a new wave of motivation to continue. Every time a stranger rejected you, sometimes even, “not buying it” (this actually did happen), you kept on, determined to prove them wrong. Fundraising is never easy, but when you witness first-hand the universal kindness of strangers you don’t mind putting yourself through it. What’s more, when it’s done with organisations such as RAG, it’s not only rewarding, but fun. The experience gained is invaluably unique.

When people asked why I had signed up for this I told them that if not now, when? When else would I have the chance to spontaneously travel whilst simultaneously fundraising for Francis House Children’s Hospice? I’ve never been one to use the expression ‘YOLO’, but in this case, it seemed to fit perfectly.

Becoming a vegan, part two: leading a more globally conscious diet

Written by Katie Bell on . Posted in Lifestyle.

Cutting down on meat and dairy can really help the environment, but there are many obstacles that seem to face the new vegan.

A big issue surrounding the vegan diet is the level of nutrition obtained from food. However the key is to follow a balanced, healthy diet catered to your personal needs. Advice from a nutritionist is recommended for someone looking to drastically change his or her diet. Supplements, readily available on the high street and endorsed by doctors, are a popular option, for example. However, it’s not as hard as it may seem. Here are some essential tips for someone looking to cut down on their meat intake:

Get high levels of protein from soybeans, lentils and garbanzo beans. A surprise candidate for protein, containing around six times the amount of protein than brown rice, is oats. It’s not a shock then that porridge is the saving grace for a low-budget, protein-packed student diet. Spinach, cheaper and easier to keep when frozen, is rich in protein. Or if you miss the meat-sensation, try out tofu, which can be found cheaply in Chinatown, and seitan, often used in restaurants to add a sense of wholeness to a meal.

Get your iron from whole grains and legumes, not red meat. Enhance iron absorption with sources of vitamin C, like citrus fruits, strawberries, broccoli, peppers, cauliflower and leafy greens.

Opt for slow carbohydrates like sweet potato, barley and brown rice to avoid fluctuating sugar levels. And if you have the time, boil dried beans for a few hours, or leave overnight, for even better benefits than tinned beans.

The vegan diet is usually considered boring and inaccessible but being vegan doesn’t mean sacrifice or suffering, it could open your mind up to new ways of cooking. There are now plenty of great sources of recipes online. Baking without butter, eggs and milk has never been so exciting. Check out some household vegan names; Minimalist Baker and Vegan Richa for their ideas on how to impress even the Mary Berry traditionalists.

Leading a lifestyle of the 1% doesn’t have to isolate you nor carry with it a hefty price tag. Our very own Withington, south of Fallowfield, boasts an array of restaurants to suit all cravings. You can get a tasty curry from Sanskruti near Ladybarn Park, delicious tofu or even crispy ‘duck’ pancakes from Lotus, and Fuel offers the best fry-up for those lazy Sunday mornings. If you’re in town, a heart-warming meal out in the Northern Quarter is also affordable at Soup Kitchen, which offer lunches between £4 and £8.

An important concept to take on board is eat local and don’t waste. Carting over vegetables from South America, importing almonds from California and extracting quinoa from Bolivia also have their negative impacts on the environment. Britain has a lot of great produce too so eating our own seasonal vegetables, choosing local, organic farmers and buying British is very important.

What’s most shocking is that if waste were considered a country, it would be the third biggest emitter of greenhouse gases behind the US and China. So investing in a tub for leftovers, sharing your meals with flatmates or more simply cooking the right amount of food can help too.

We don’t all need to go on a meat and dairy detox, but why not get creative in the kitchen or try out some alternative food spots in Manchester? It’s never been so easy to make a difference.

Perfume: necessity or luxurious extravagance?

Written by Sophie Soar on . Posted in Fashion & Beauty.

Marilyn Monroe, the beautiful bombshell and world-famous actress, knew how to work the press. She drove them wild with tantalising titbits that screamed every bit the sex-goddess reputation Monroe possessed. In a 1960 recording, only released in 2013, Monroe discussed the demands of the press: “You know, they ask me questions. Just an example: What do you wear to bed?” And she did not disappoint: “so I said ‘Chanel No. 5,’ because it’s the truth!”

Whilst Chanel’s brand manager probably wept for joy over the find of such a recording, it raises another question: just how necessary is the perfume in our make-up bags?

The recording of Monroe exudes her startled innocence. She saw no extravagance in her choice of nightwear; it was simply a statement of fact. Many women swear by their scent of choice, seen as just another element to their daily make-up routine. It is as much a staple as a slick of red lipstick.

In reality, however, it’s a relatively bizarre notion: you are tailoring your scent; sharing an artificial aroma; impressing upon people a fragrance shared by many others across the world. To think we personally spend hundreds of pounds on these elixir bottles of scented liquid seems mad, especially when propelled to buy these scents from their advertising campaigns. Do we really subconsciously believe we will embody Keira Knightley’s confidence whilst straddling a motorbike in a beige leather jumpsuit or Charlize Theron’s sexual allure whilst ripping off pearls, simply by sharing their perfume?

When also confronted with a limited student budget, our luxuries are the first to take the financially imposed hit. A Superdrug find replaced my Mac bronzer too soon into my first year at university and when purchasing mascara, the lowest price always prevails, despite my fear of my eyelashes falling out. My perfume also took the hit but rather than give it up completely, I only spritz on special occasions and hold out for the annual Christmas present for a new bottle of my favourite perfume.

From a young age we learn to love sensuous fragrances, playing through our mother’s perfume collections or buying our first body mist from Claire’s Accessories at the age of 12. The search for our favourite scent starts early. I for one follow not only in my mother’s footsteps but Monroe’s too, opting for the classic scent of Chanel No. 5.

Despite its age, the perfume remains loved 95 years after its first release. It is the epitome of a timeless classic, as is consistent with the entirety of Chanel’s work. Launched by Coco Chanel herself, the brand insists the scent remains extremely true to its original form from the 1920s. It is historical.

Whilst Chanel’s advertising campaigns may have us believe we share our scent with women of today, from Gisele to Nicole Kidman, we share our choice of perfume with hundreds of thousands of women over the last century, including the designer herself. The perfume may be a luxury, but one imbued with memories.

Designer Jean Paul Gautier once said “perfume is the most intense form of memory.” Whether referring to the lasting impression you leave when meeting someone new, or perhaps a memory of your mother’s perfume, maybe even the memories of women throughout history sharing the enjoyment of one scent, his point is that of a fragrance’s personal significance.

Whilst perfume may technically be unnecessary, it is a luxury we often struggle to sacrifice. Our chosen scent, selected over years of abusing testers in shopping centres and purchased by scraping funds together, is an extension of us. And besides, apparently it’s a solid way to make an impression. However, as Monroe teaches us, that may solely be dependent on how you wear it.

We should stop using the word “race”

Written by Lioui Benhamou on . Posted in Opinion.

When you first registered for the University of Manchester, you all gave some important information to the University, and your ethinic group. I realise that this seems normal for people from the UK.

Personally, this was a first. In France, where I am from, the state isn’t allowed to ask you this information, and surveys on it are forbidden. Thus, I didn’t even knew what to choose. As far as I know, I’m white but my father is from Morocco so if I let my beard grow a little, perhaps most people would differ in opinion on my ethnicity. More importantly, I don’t know because I don’t care. I opted for ‘white’ because I’m French and in Manchester I won’t tan that much. I know I’m not the only one bothered by this.

Even worse than asking for this information (which shouldn’t be relevant to the University, anyway) is the use of the word ‘race’. The idea of race, as we socially construct it, is not only about small differences but about superiority. The idea of a hierarchy is implicit in the word ‘race’. Moreover, it forces you to identify yourself with some kind of group. However, since this is a widely accepted term to use in the UK, it would be wrong to accuse someone of using the term ‘race’ as being a racist.

But you might ask the following question: if there are genetic differences between humans and these differences are structured geographically, why would talking about race be an issue for concern? There are differences among populations. For example, if you are northern European you are more likely to be lactose tolerant than someone from Polynesia.

We need to acknowledge these biological differences because otherwise we could expose ourselves to practical errors. For instance, some medicines are not recommended if you are from a certain region, because people indigenous to a region may typically not be adapted to certain drugs.

But then, why use the word ‘race’ when we have the words ‘population’ and ‘ethnicity’? It is a bit odd to keep this word. I’m not a strong advocate for political correctness, but the word ‘race’ is not about politics — it’s about a biologically-unfounded division of humanity. And this false division can spill over into questions of ethnicity. To put it one way, why does the university need to know my ethnicity and not about my lactose tolerance? This is a characteristic I inherited from my parents and that differentiates me from other people of different geography and genetics. If they need my race because they need to be able to identify me, then they could ask me about others things.

The problem is this: if we consider race to truly exist within humanity, we give support to racist behaviour. When we argue that there are differences among people, and that those differences are sufficient to create groups, some people (falsely) conclude that racial superiority exists. They do this by adding value to one of the differentiating factors of that group, and by making the confusion between ethnicity and race that I have previously mentioned. If we want to eradicate racism, we need to stop using the word ‘race’ first.

Sadly, the University of Manchester frequently uses the word ‘race’ in official documents, such as in its Equality and Diversity Policy, and on its website. Indeed, many institutions are still using it in the UK to some extent when the word ethnicity is instead required.

Now, I know it is not the goal of the University to divide us in any way — on the contrary, even. We all saw that new video that quotes the poem We Belong by David Gennard. The first lines are:

“I belong in a place where they are wise,
Where I matter, not because of who I am,
Here, where the educated learnt to rise.”

This is a good message. But if this message is truly the direction that the University associates itself with, why do they ask for my ethnicity upon registration?

If we let the word race abound, we let racism abound too. There is, of course, a difference between using the word ‘race’ and being racist. But if we stop using the word, we stop giving a justification to the actions of racists. We can differentiate people genetically and acknowledge that certain characteristics are more present in one population than in another one. But ask any biologist, this is due to natural selection and its creation of populations that suit their environments well. Those differences are not enough to use the word race when talking about humans. And none of these differences imply superiority — they are just present because your ancestors needed them.

Many wars have been waged and genocides committed because of this idea of race. Erasing this word whilst acknowledging our genetic differences and natural abilities is a good idea. But if we understand the term as a social construction, then we can see that this is not an attempt to censor, as there is nothing to censor in the first place.

Black Mirror Series Three

Written by Eliza Slawther on . Posted in Film.

The long-anticipated third series of Black Mirror was released on Netflix in October 2016, and reactions have been as divided as expected.

One of the main criticisms that Black Mirror has faced since its release in 2011 is that it can, at times, come across as a heavy-handed attempt to warn against technological advancements, social media and the true evil that lies within human beings. Perhaps I’m simply far too cynical of the show, but I feel that this criticism is more than fair. Brooker is always keen to emphasise that the show’s intention is not to simply finger-wag at technology, and yet this is exactly how the new series feels as a whole. The show speaks for itself, no matter how much the production and publicity team try to convince us that we’re watching and understanding it wrong. The main problem with the show is that it is so incredibly obvious in its message. Black Mirror is a little bit like Orwell’s 1984 — poignant and impressive when you first read it aged 16 — but much less insightful as time goes on.

Black Mirror at its best is interesting, subversive television which makes worthwhile viewing even for its harshest critics. Black Mirror at its worst is cringe-inducing, with poor dialogue and a complete lack of faith in humanity and technology — an attitude that is never going to endear itself to the younger audience. For me, the pilot episode of series three, ‘Nosedive’, was the worst possible way to introduce a new series. The problem with parodying social media, Instagram,  and the narcissism and falseness involved in all of these is that they already parody themselves in the real world. Any semi-intelligent person can look at the Instagram of someone whose life appears to be perfect and know that it isn’t real life. Nobody really, truly bases their entire self-worth off these apps, because in general humans are self-aware enough to know that yes, social media is a huge part of day-to-day life, but no— it is not the be all and end all. It is this sort of attitude that makes Black Mirror appear clumsy and unrealistic. The ideas and critiques feel dated at times, and at other times remind me of the sort of warning videos that I was shown in school about protecting myself online. “Cover your laptop camera!”, “don’t cyber-bully people!”. We’ve all heard it all before.

Another problem with the latest Black Mirror series is that it is also blazingly clear how much money Netflix has pumped into the show. This has had a detrimental effect on the quality of writing and given the show a false, all-American glaze. The exact glaze that it intends to critique, some may interpret this as further adding to the authenticity of the dream-like dystopia projected, but in my opinion it is overbearing. As observed by a friend of mine, Black Mirror was at its best when it was a distinctly British show. Now it comes across as far too glossed, too Hollywood, and it has (for the most part) lost the ability to connect with the viewer through the premise that the same terrible situation or event or misunderstanding could happen to them. Netflix may as well make some spinoffs of The Truman Show while they’re at it.

This being said, there were some excellent moments in Black Mirror. If you can forgive the clumsiness of drone bees, (did anybody hear, the bees are going extinct? Well, now you know!) refugees made to appear un-human and a desire to eradicate undesirable genetics then the series does have its moments of greatness. ‘Playtest’, episode 2, is genuinely quite terrifying. The genuine humanity in episodes 3 and 4— ‘Shut Up and Dance’ and ‘San Junipero’ respectively— certainly had the desired emotional impact that other episodes failed to induce. Yet these episodes were still somewhat predictable, and all too easily forgotten.

Black Mirror has had its day, and I think that with each series the heavy-handed predictability of each episode has only increased further. Black Mirror was once a sickeningly honest glance to the future, to the moral deterioration of society that could one day become a reality, but it is now a parody of itself that is going nowhere fast. Somewhere deep down, I was hoping for Black Mirror to be as striking, emotive and original as it once was, yet I am not surprised that the third series did not fulfil these hopes.

Overall rating for the series: 2.5/5

Netball’s unbeaten Wednesday

Written by Elizabeth Payne on . Posted in Sport.

A textbook BUCS Wednesday for UMWNC saw an incredible six wins from six, with five teams progressing to the next round of their respective cups and all the squads being collectively awarded the ‘Club of the Week’ accolade by the AU for the second week running.

After a couple of league losses this season, the fourth team began their cup campaign in some style against Liverpool John Moores 3s. A flying start saw the girls in purple surge into an early 8-2 lead and their performance only continued to improve as the match went on. Despite playing away from home, Manchester were the better team throughout, thanks to the accuracy of their shooters and good fluidity through the centre court. This — combined with excellent play from the defensive unit — put their opposition under huge pressure, creating multiple interceptions and turnovers. The final score ended 39-22 in Manchester’s favour and a special mention goes to players of the match, Kate Lynch and Ella Marshall.

Taking on Huddersfield 2s, the sixth team, yet to lose a match this season, also began strongly. A competitive match, Manchester had to play their best to ensure victory and they did exactly this, with the defence working well to force errors in the circle and on their opposition’s centre pass. In the second half Huddersfield began to tire and Manchester capitalised on their superior fitness levels to earn a 34-22 victory. Fay Hully was awarded player of the match for her superb shooting.

Also unbeaten in their three games so far, the fifth team took on Bradford 2s at the Armitage Centre, subsequently stamping their authority on the Northern Conference Plate competition. It was a result that was never in doubt; an excellent start only helping to secure an inevitable victory. Manchester’s strong defence conceded only ten goals and player of the match, Anna Staton, played well at both C and WA, effectively controlling the movement of the ball through court. All three of the team’s shooters helped score a huge eighty-six goals, contributing to an incredible score-line which earnt them the ‘team of the week’ accolade from club captain, Alice Brown.

The third team made a long journey to Sunderland worthwhile, securing a 45-30 cup win against the latter’s first team. It was a similar story to many of the other teams’ victories this week and a match in which all the regular training and early morning fitness sessions seemed to pay off. As the game wore on, Sunderland’s fitness levels dropped dramatically and their play became scrappy allowing Manchester to increase their lead, thanks in part to the copious amount of interceptions and tips from player of the match, Kate Fifield.

After a loss away from home last week, it was a return to the Armitage for Manchester’s first team, who took on newly promoted Worcester in the Premier North League. Not knowing what to expect from their opponents, the girls in purple made a steady start to head into the break up by six goals. They continued to extend their lead throughout the rest of the first half but a sloppy third quarter saw Worcester reduce the deficit back to twelve with fifteen minutes remaining. Although victory was almost guaranteed, Manchester saved their best quarter until last with the defensive duo of captain, Claudia Payne and player of the match, Honor de Winton, creating plenty of turnovers which the centre court and attacking players converted. It was a solid team performance, with all nine players in the squad taking to court to record a 61-39 victory.

Last, but by no means least, the pressure was on for the second team to complete an unbeaten netball Wednesday. Travelling to Bangor to take on their first team, it was once again a case of a dominant defensive performance from Manchester. Despite struggling to maintain momentum for the duration of the match, Megan Woodworth made a real impact in the centre of the court and player of the match, Jojo Madden, combined well with the shooters to create an impressive lead, which Bangor never threatened. A 57-37 cup victory rounded off an incredibly successful day and one which the club will be hoping to emulate many more times this season!

Live: HONNE

Written by Tara Bharadia on . Posted in Music.

26th October at Gorilla

7/10

For those of you who aren’t fluent in Japanese, HONNE means a person’s ‘true sound’ in terms of their deepest desire. What better name for a band with a niche in definite baby-making music?

The London-based duo have just finished their US shows and popped back to the UK for a few gigs before the final stretch of their tour in Asia. Fans who have seen HONNE before will be amazed by how far they have come. From small gigs in obscure venues to sell-out shows in staple cities, with full lighting, sets and band, the pair have definitely found their place on the stage.

James and Andy have come a long way since their first stellar EPs which came out back in 2014, and unsurprisingly some of these tracks made their way onto their debut album, released last July. They have found a way to mix soul and electro with some punchy guitar riffs to introduce classical love ballads into the 21st century.

Of all the gigs in their UK tour, Manchester was definitely the one to go to: the crowd knew every word, and you could tell the band were touched as they humbly stated how so far Manchester was ‘the best gig on the tour’. A serenade-style start to ‘The Night’, which was then quickly brought to life with bass, was certainly a highlight of the show but the quality of the riff in the closing number of ‘All in Value’ was up there too.

Older tracks off earlier EPs such as ‘Top To Toe’ and ‘Loves The Jobs You Hate’ were played to an audience who couldn’t get enough of HONNE, and their music which warms the soul.

However, there is no doubt that ‘Woman’, released for International Women’s Day 2016, was the track of the night. The audience were encouraged to put arms around each other as the stage cleared, leaving just the duo in a clean and touching tribute to women everywhere.

Not only was their performance enchanting but it was taken further by their angelically-voiced female backing-singer, Naomi, who took over parts in ‘Someone That Loves You’ and ‘No Place Like Home’. It’s hard to watch a HONNE performance and not fall in love. This winter, they’ll be the cosy gloves to your frozen fingers and there’s no denying that, whatever the weather, HONNE will definitely keep you ‘Warm On A Cold Night’.

Review: Doctor Strange

Written by Cameron Broome on . Posted in Film.

A classic American superhero film produced by Marvel Studios, Doctor Strange can be enjoyed by an audience of all ages. Starring Benedict Cumberbatch as fictional superhero Doctor Stephen Vincent Strange, the film really does offer something for everyone.

The fourteenth film of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel-obsessives will find themselves frothing at the mouth. But the great thing about Doctor Strange is that the audience can watch it is a stand-alone film and still understand the plot in all its complexity.

Doctor Strange is an arrogant neurosurgeon who loses the use of his hands in a car accident. After weeks of unsuccessful self-experimentation on his hands, Strange hears about a man named Jonathan Pangborn: a paraplegic who was able to walk again, mysteriously defying the laws of modern science. Intrigued by his remarkable story, Strange meets Pangborn (Benjamin Bratt) who directs him to a secret compound in Kathmandu, Nepal known as Kamar-Taj. Sceptically, Strange travels to Kamar-Taj and meets a sorcerer, “the Ancient One” (Tilda Swinton), who teaches mystic arts and confirms she had taught Pangborn. Desperate to heal his hands, Strange begs to be taught by the sorcerer. Reluctantly, the Ancient One agrees and so Strange’s mystical arts tutelage begins.

At the heart of the film is a concept known as the Astra Plane. Popularised by neo-Rosicrucianism and Theosophy during the late 19th and early 20th century, the Astra Plane is an intermediate plane of existence between earth and heaven. In Doctor Strange, the Astra Plane specifically refers to the realm of minds, which individuals can access by projecting their minds onto this realm. Moreover, the film seeks to destabilise Cartesian subjectivity.

“I think therefore I am” are the famous words of 17th-century French philosopher René Descartes, alluding to the idea the mind and the body are separate. The film, however, suggests that the body and the mind are intrinsically linked. The film also makes constant reference to a “multiverse”, questioning the notion of a singular universe but instead suggesting infinite possible universes exist.

The most powerful scene in the film is the scene in which the Ancient One is dying. As she is dying, the Ancient One’s Astral projection (basically her “spirit”) floats off to talk to Strange, also in Astral form. With time seemingly frozen, the two characters look out over the skyline of New York. In contrast to the fast-paced, heart-racing and action-packed scenes that dominate the bulk of the film, this scene is somewhat more sombre. Strange is keen to help the Ancient One survive but the Ancient One is resistant. Instead, she turns to Strange and says (to paraphrase) “death is what gives life meaning… knowing your days are number”.

The main villain in the film is Kaecilius (Mads Mikkelsen) is obsessed with the idea of immortality, describing time as prison within which we are all trapped. But the film reminds us that life is precious and it is this fragility that makes special moments all the more special. Although this message may be slightly cheesy, it’s a nice thought.

Critics have pointed out that Doctor Strange has the classics flaws of an MCU film. The story is generic. The villain is arguably underutilised. There is also a love story between Strange and former-lover now co-worker at the Hospital Christine Palmer (Rachel McAdams) which isn’t fully developed. But Doctor Strange’s cinematography is excellent, especially during the final scenes shot in Hong Kong which successfully encapsulate the vibrancy, dynamism and ambience of the city. Benedict Cumberbatch’s performance is as slick and flawless as you would expect. Overall, Doctor Strange is great MCU production starring a great cast with a heart-racing plot, cloaked in some interesting philosophical themes.

Review: The Walking Dead SE07E1

Written by William Green on . Posted in Film.

Quite simply, this is by far the most shocking hour of television I have ever watched.

The much anticipated season premiere was filled with twists and turns from start to finish, not allowing you to even draw breath before the next game changing moment had taken place. From the outset we knew this was going to be an episode intended to tug on the heartstrings. The tense ending to Season 6 had already set this up where one member of the group was brutally murdered by the newest antagonist Negan (portrayed exquisitely by The Good Wife alum Jeffrey Dean Morgan), along with his companion Lucille, the barbed-wire bat. The question on everyone’s mind though, who?

This question is comprehensively answered half way through the episode as Abraham savagely gets beaten to a pulp in what has to be one of the most brutal death scenes known to TV. No harrowing music, no slow motion montage, just the sound of brains on bat accompanied by uncontrollable crying. It was at this point I thought to myself, have they gone to far? Then after what happened next I knew they had. In what was another shocking twist in the story, Negan picked a shock second victim, the beloved Glenn. Seeing the character that we’ve come to know and love be diminished to a literal and clearly visible pile of mush on the floor was where this has surpassed the category of drama or suspense, perhaps being closer to becoming unnecessary psychological torture for the audience.

Whilst The Walking Dead has always been proud of pushing the boundaries of violence on TV, something I appreciate adds to their unique aesthetic, this was a completely different level. It was simply distressing for the viewer, but both in a positive and negative way. In terms of storytelling it was shrewd, you were always gripped and sutured into the narrative, never given a minutes rest and your attention was held to the end. However, this made it seem like the constant barrage of deplorable acts was merely there to keep the viewer present and spark controversy by leaving the audience with their jaws on the floor. It left Rick and the group of survivors so completely devoid of hope that you almost don’t want to tune in next week as you sense more of the same barbaric torture.

Nevertheless, despite some of these more controversial events from the season premiere there’s still hope that next week brings some much needed order and structure to the chaotic proceedings. So, yes, I will continue to watch and love the show, even if the thought of Glenn’s stammering caved-in face keeps me up at night.

 

3/5

Review: What We Do in the Shadows

Written by William Green on . Posted in Film.

Directors Taiki Waititi and Flight of the Conchords alum Jemaine Clement continue to rejuvenate the New Zealand film scene with this comedy-horror collaboration that tells the tale of four vampires living in a shared house in Wellington, New Zealand as they prepare for the annual  “Unholy Masquerade”.

The genius of this mockumentary is how the absurdity and complete illogicality of the situation is still so relatable to most people. Living in a shared house where not everyone gets along is something most people will have encountered at some stage of their lives. It just so happens that these housemates are up to 8,000 years old and consume human flesh.

The three vampires Viago, Deacon and Vladislav (real life friends Waititi, Jonathan Brugh and Clement) have tremendous chemistry together as their distinct personalities bounce off and compliment each other very well. The fourth, Petyr (Ben Fransham) a Count Orlok lookalike who is the eldest and creepiest of the house, adds a wildcard element of unexpectedness to the story that produces some of the most laugh out loud moments of the film. A cameo from Rhys Darby as the leader of a gang of rival werewolves (“not swearwolves”) only enhances the film. It leads to some of the most hilarious improvised back-and-forths that I have seen from a modern comedy in a while, even adding a layer of nostalgia for Conchords fans longing for that reunion. The film also manages to live up to the horror element of this genre mix, something that is often forgotten. This is probably most vivid when the vampires feast upon the innocent folk of Wellington’s mundane nightlife scene, the detail in which it is shown both comedic and gruesome with burst arteries galore.

What really impresses with this film is Waititi and Clement’s blending of British and American humour in what can best be described as The Office meets The Munsters. The dry whit of all characters (human or otherwise) is highly reminiscent of the Merchant-Gervais rapport and even the subtlest layer of satire has the potential to leave you gasping for air. The Americanised over the top physical humour is also effective and taken to the upmost extreme, with housemates literally flying across the room at one another over who will wash the dishes, or a fleshed out bat fight across Wellington between the vampires.

The only real criticism of this film is that it may have worked better as a 30-minute sitcom pilot. This is purely from a selfish standpoint though — I was craving more and felt like there was so much more they could have told. It is testament to the power of Waititi and Clement’s storytelling that I could’ve happily binge-watched 100 episodes of these delightfully dark and diverse creatures.

Overall, “Shadows” still has more than enough compelling content to keep any comedy fan laughing for the majority of the 85-minute run time and can certainly cement itself as a cult favourite for years to come, if not a standout comedy.

 

5/5

Black Mirror S3E04 — San Junipero: Review

Written by Georgia Welch on . Posted in Film.

The latest season of Black Mirror, Charlie Brooker’s satirical sci-fi anthology series, boasts a diverse range of brand new and, at times, unexpected concepts; all equally terrifying in their alarmingly plausible examination of our collective technological fixation.

San Junipero, the season’s fourth episode, is no exception to this, as where the other episodes tend to present a moral ‘take home’ message, often sending viewers into a state of cynical unrest, this episode instead opts to focus on raising what are perhaps more ambitious questions than any previous episode.

The thematic existentialism, beautiful visual style and grandiose ideas of this particular instalment felt particularly interesting to discuss, especially as it marks a step away from the usual grim satire which laces Brooker’s writing. I advise against reading any further if you want to avoid plot spoilers.

We first meet our protagonists in the throes of the relentless party atmosphere of the titular ‘San Junipero’ in 1987, immediately recognisable from the expert 1980s costume and set design which colours the vibrant and atmospheric backdrop of the episode.

The story centres around an unexpected connection between the shy and sexually inexperienced Yorkie, and seasoned San Junipero ‘tourist’ Kelly, and the nature of their initial meeting, the town itself, as well as their respective backstories.

Much like the characters themselves, we are kept in the dark for much of the episode as to the existence of San Junipero and the presence of its inhabitants. It quickly becomes apparent that Yorkie (Mackenzie Davis) and Kelly (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) only visit San Junipero on a weekly basis as part of an augmented reality scenario they have signed up for in their real lives. The majority of the episode is left vague in terms of how this augmented reality fits into the overall narrative and why it exists, with Brooker’s writing intelligently hinting at different possibilities and allowing viewers to speculate throughout the course of the episode. It is only later that we discover San Junipero is in fact an artificially-created reality in which those seeking nostalgia or respite are allowed to be mentally transported to for a limited amount of time each week.

With this premise, the audience is never quite sure of the characters’ intentions or why they find themselves in San Junipero, with Brooker building towards conclusions in an unpredictable, yet calculated way.

The subtle 80s synth score aids the strange and beguiling atmosphere of the location wonderfully, which combined with the soft pastel colour palette only adds to the magnetic, dream-like allure of this alternate reality as a place of reminiscence and escapism for those whose current situation leaves a lot to be desired.

Brooker also pointed out the significance of the same-sex couple featuring in a 1980s setting, which of course wouldn’t have been deemed as acceptable as in the present day, which enhances the idealistic feel of Yorkie and Kelly’s alternate life even further.

The unprecedented popularity of San Junipero with fans of the show is hugely interesting, with some viewers even suggesting the possibility of a standalone series stemming from this new universe, pointing out the multitude of doorways and curiosities within the fabric of the episode.

On a surface level, this episode offers a seemingly more positive outlook than is typically expected from Black Mirror, yet upon looking beneath its exterior, it is clear to see that Brooker and episode director Owen Harris have created something truly multi-faceted, offering two richly developed characters, each with their own personal tragedies, and questioning the glossy ideal of eternal life.

In true Black Mirror fashion, however, the potential cracks and disadvantages to this technology are never too far away. Is immortality really such an ideal? Does the beauty of life live in its ephemeral nature?

This, of course, is for each individual to decide, and perhaps the biggest success of what is one of the most inventive episodes of the show to date.

Top 5: Film Podcasts and Shows

Written by Alasdair Bayman on . Posted in Film.

As busy students, tuning into live radio can sometimes be problematic with all the ‘hard studying’ we do. Yet, whether it is in the morning whilst eating your Weetabix, or in the evening winding down after a busy day, these film podcasts are the perfect antidote to boredom and stress. From the likes of Mark Kermode to Kirsty Young, the array of vernacular articulation on offer is too splendid to bypass. Listen, enjoy, and remember: Hello to Jason Isaacs.

 

5.

The HOME Film Podcast:

With HOME’s senior visiting curator, Andy Willis and their Artistic Director, Jason Wood, each month the two deliver an in-depth look into the calendar of films ahead in the coming month. What makes this podcast a necessity is the shows academic edge. Both presenters constantly show an encyclopedic knowledge of film and a deep understanding of the preferences of HOME’s audience. Whether it is a feature debut, an auteurs latest release, or a piece of film from world cinema, their picks are always reflective of a constant change in the cinematic landscape. With honesty and sound filmic articulation, the podcast is short, sweet, and looks confidently ahead to arthouses must see films.

 

4.

Sight and Sound’s The Mixing Room: Conversations about Cinema:

As well as being a magazine, the nation’s best film magazine also verbalises itself in podcast form. Similar in academic style to the formerly mentioned HOME Podcast, Sight and Sound’s The Mixing Room is a round-table discussion between the S&S film critics, who explore new films and trends in the industry. Like the magazine itself, what is produced by the discussions is thoughtful and at the pinnacle of film analysis and discussion.

 

3.

Desert Island Discs:

Although not specifically a film podcast, the BBC’s Desert Island Discs comes in on this list. If you are like myself and can only spare a few hours a week to listen to shows, then the shorter podcast version is for you. With previous guests such as Tom Hanks, Mark Rylance, Steve McQueen, and Dustin Hoffman, the show makes guests discuss eight songs which they would take to a hypothetical desert island. Varying from on the bone intimate discussions on the person’s life, or recalling their childhood, Kirsty Young constantly pushes the envelope of what it is to be a radio presenter. Regardless of prestige, the show is authentic in its discussion of life, stardom, and the artist in society.

 

 

2:

The Next Picture Show:

Drawing away from the shores of the UK, one finds the American The Next Picture Show to be well worth your time. As a biweekly discussion from the former editorial team of The Dissolve, they inspect how classical films have influenced and shaped modern releases. Scheduled into an hourly discussion on one classic text to a follow up show in a compare and contrast episode, the selection of films is impeccable. With previously discussed films like The Neon Demon and Suspiria, L.A Confidential and The Nice Guys, and also Barton Fink and Hail, Caesar! one simply cannot criticise their spectacular selections.

 

1.

Kermode and Mayo’ Film Review:

The daddy, the godfather — the pièce de résistance as some would call it — Kermode and Mayo’s 5 Live show, aka Wittertainment, simply cannot be beaten. Aside from its detailed reviews, the cultist aurora that orientates the show places it in a league of its own. With its own Wikipedia in Witterpedia and even its own app, iWittr, there is something magical about the show’s appeal. With extra discussions bookended in the podcast, Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo ramblings on music, film, and life itself are a welcomed sound on long commutes or during essay writing season. How do you listen to the show? You just listen to it.

Live: Banco de Gaia and Dr Trippy

Written by Oscar Talbot on . Posted in Music.

21st October at Band on the Wall

6/10

Banco de Gaia are an ambient trance band that are well known for their samples of Indian raga music and Arabic instrumentals. By and large, their songs are fairly long and create a layering effect, with a hypnotic combination of unusual samples expertly paired with reggae-influenced dance music. This has great potential to become somewhat staid and soporific, but the expert arrangement and energetic performance mostly manages to avoid this. However, some of their less dance-influenced songs did leave me wishing that they could move on a bit. Sometimes they descended into yoga levels of relaxation and rather than playing to their minimalism, it instead became a shade liturgical as 70-odd 40 year olds rediscovered recreational substance abuse.

While Banco de Gaia chose to accompany their music to a background of what looked like Windows Media player visualizer effects, Dr Trippy chose to unleash the full power of memes. Clearly a veteran 4channer, Dr Trippy employed the full gamut from Mr Skeletal to the Oogachaka Baby, mixed with bizarre fractals and gifs of a dancing Cristo Redentor. All of this accompanied by a man who looked like John Peel dressed as the Mighty Boosh’s Hitcher, and your mate Steve who lives in Afflecks and is obsessed with steam punk.

Dr Trippy’s music was highly dub influenced, but easily danceable which built up to regular peaks. It was quite similar to Banco de Gaia, but with a more pronounced Massive Attack influence. Maybe I’m not sufficiently involved in the trance scene, but I found Dr Trippy somewhat more enjoyable, partly because it was much easier to dance to, although while Banco de Gaia sometimes were guilty of lacking variety, Dr Trippy was guilty of spreading himself too thinly between disparate genres, meaning he sometimes lacked coherence.

A final shout out to Dr Trippy, and his wife, Mrs Trippy who were lovely, and to Lee who bought me a CD. I’ll be sure to pass on the karma.

In possession of/possessed by the smoothie blender

Written by Elena Gibbs on . Posted in News.

Nutribullet. Liquidizer. Morphy Richards. Jug blender.

All are names of popular machines that have become of unprecedented prestigious value in our homes.

I’ve been around enough people to now notice the distinct trend of possessive nature that comes as a guarantee with purchase of this kitchen equipment.

It was in my first halls that I first felt the grip of ownership take hold of me regarding my old Phillips blitz-it-all2000. A flatmate had wanted to borrow it repeatedly and I found such negative thoughts seep into my mind:

“I hope she doesn’t break it”

“It’s my smoothie maker”

“Why doesn’t she get her own?”

I’m ashamed to say it, I hid the machine in my room when I went away. My brain couldn’t handle the thought of the precious plastic jug and holder being used in lack of my presence. Later in life, karma came around to bite me; another housemate refused to let me use her bottle-blender when my machine broke. Then a person I lived with the following year also did not like me using her nutribullet, and insisted I get my own.

This may all seem trivial, but what’s with the distinct trend? People don’t get possessive over kettles, microwaves, toasters, etc.. so let’s psychoanalyse the situation: why does this grip of possession come over the blender owner? There are some possible reasons:

1) The owner is subconsciously fearful of the user not handling/washing/using the blender properly

2) They think that with more uses, its lifespan is reduced

3) If it breaks in other person’s control, it’s fixing or replacement will still fall on the owner

4) Wanting to use it at the same time

5) Flavour residue

6) The owner becomes possessed by the blender

Let’s explore reason 6. Whilst 1-5 are legitimate, if not reasonable, they fail to explain the severe worry, distrustfulness, and secretive behaviour that is associated with blender ownership.

Number 6 explains it all.

A newfangled marketing technique introduced to ensure maximum purchases of product: the possessing device. As the blades spin round, the owner’s eyes widen in hypnosis as they become energetically magnetised to the kitchenware object. One is overwhelmed with a sense of attachment and is compelled to protect the life of the appliance at all costs. This ensures that no one else can use the appliance, and makes subsequent sales more likely as friends and family will be enraptured by the owner’s genuine love and obsession for the product; wanting to experience that feeling for themselves.

Six sharp pieces of advice

Written by Felix Sanders on . Posted in News.

Whether you’re whipping up a quick dinner for one or throwing a dinner party for 15, here are some simple kitchen tips that will make your life easier.

1)   When cooking with cream, you must always season it very well. Then season it some more. And some more. Cream neutralizes flavours so the key to a delicious cream sauce is plenty of seasoning. (I should stress this doesn’t count for when making puddings..!)

2)   When cooking with a non-stick pan don’t plunge it straight into cold water, although that loud sizzling sound might make you feel like a pro (it’s so satisfying), it actually takes off the ‘non-stick’ from the pan and ruins it.

3)   All eggs must be cooked low and slow. Yes it will make the process slower, but this is necessary for the eggs to cook through without some of them burning.

4)   DO NOT PUT SHARP KNIVES IN THE DISHWASHER. Even my mum gets this one wrong. This is such an important one for me because it will blunt your sharp knives and cooking without sufficient equipment makes everything so much more time consuming and harder.  I know it’s quicker to just throw them in the dishwasher but taking care of your equipment is crucial for a smooth time in the kitchen.

5)   If you leave cream to come to room temperature it will whip up by hand within 20-30 seconds. This is a particularly useful tip if you’re hosting a dinner party and you don’t have time to pre-whip the cream.
6)   Lastly, putting bananas in a fruit bowl will cause the other fruit in the bowl to ripen faster. So if you have some stubborn plums that are refusing to ripen put them in a bag with bananas and that should quicken the process. Otherwise, I would suggest storing your bananas in a separate bowl.

 

Editor’s note, when not at University Sarah works as a Private chef in Scotland.

Make me up as me not you

Written by Qiarna Bondswell on . Posted in Fashion & Beauty.

Our faces have changed. The drag trends of modern day makeup have officially won; women who enjoy makeup are now wearing matte foundation, matte lipsticks, contour, highlight, winged eyeliner, mink eyelashes, and not for their night out — but as their daily mask; I believe the blame lies right in the hands of Instagram and YouTube.

Now before you switch off thinking this is an article about shaming women who wear makeup — this is not the intention of this piece at all, I, too, wear makeup every day. What I want to address is how everyday makeup has become progressively heavy. Whilst you may simply like wearing Kylie Jenner inspired makeup, perhaps we all need to question how flattering this regime is for our faces on an everyday basis. I’m sure many of you will recognise at least one of these figures; Amrezy, Nikkitutorials, Shaaanxo, Tammy Hembrow, Carli Bybel, Desi Perkins, the Instagram and Youtube ‘It’ girls of our generation. I’m sure many of us turn to them once in a while to learn a few makeup looks. But oh my, their social media beauty looks have seriously been influential and seeped into the mainstream and this is seriously tainting individual beauty.

Walking through Manchester city centre I notice so many young girls covered in heavy foundation, overdrawn lips, and matte lipstick the problem is that many these makeup trends taken from Instagram and YouTube are tailored for photography and HD video and thereby in person it frankly looks ridiculous and over the top. However, more frustrating is how these trends are making everyone look like each other and subsequently morph into a similar face.

Maybe you don’t care how heavy your daytime makeup is, maybe you even see your heavy make up as empowering, and that’s your prerogative. I personally would like to see women embrace makeup trends that enhance their personal features and not just take on trends that are en vogue. For instance, if you have a very round or oval face, why try to carve in cheekbones that are not there? Makeup is our aid to enhance beauty not create something that does not exist. Remember contour was born out of drag queens trying to MAKE a female face, not enhance their own natural beauty. Furthermore, if you suffer from dry skin, it is a dewy foundation and creamy lip cream which will brighten up your face, giving you that glow dry skin naturally struggles with. So why reach for that matte lip kit and matte foundation that although will give you the current look ultimately you know it’s not the most flattering for you?

We see images of these flawless makeup looks on Instagram, we then learn how to recreate the steps to these looks through Youtube, and finally we emulate them in real life. However the issue is that we forget a fundamental part — these looks were created for photographing and are suitable for nights out but not for walking around campus. My aim is to simply point out that the ‘InstaTube’ influence is morphing our faces, and this is starting to get out of hand. The message isn’t to be all natural and take off all your makeup; I understand how great makeup can make you feel. Instead try to adopt trends that suit your face on an individual basis and bring out your own distinctive beauty.