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Day: 8 March 2016

Floating Points – A Tale of Two Sets

Like a descending prophet, Floating Points (real name Sam Sheppard) brought the ambient genius of his new LP, Elaenia, to Manchester’s The Ritz last month—one of only a handful of UK dates the universally praised electronic composer offered. As if the people of Manchester weren’t lucky enough, he went and played a 4 hour DJ set at Hidden straight after—a gentle reminder of his masterful talent as producer and mixer. His marathon sessions behind decks have been described as “brainy but banging” whilst Elaenia’s critical acclaim includes a number one spot in Resident Advisor’s album of the year list. It’s fair to say then that both the DJ and live set possessed equal promise. And it had me thinking about a somewhat generational conundrum. Given the growing populism of electronic music and the proliferation of festival culture when it comes to promotion through touring, certain producers have been dragged, kicking and screaming, out of the depths of the basement club and into the neon painted sunlight. The appearance of the name  ‘live’ next to the name of artists who make a great deal of their work sat behind a computer has become extremely common and some have managed to make a better show out of their work than others. So which is better? The somewhat contrived spectacle or the all together less showy and yet more truthful DJ set? After various confusions with multiple people about tickets and timings and that, I ended up with the chance to decide in the case of IDM’s new golden boy Sam Shepard. Here’s how they stacked up:

Set Structure
Despite a reputation for hauling an 11-piece orchestra around, there were only three others on stage with Floating Points when he emerged onstage. You wouldn’t know it though, as heaps of effects accompanying each instrument expanded the sounds way beyond classical capabilities. The band glided and thrashed through the album in its entirety without rest, nailing the soft bits just as well as the hard. Such strict adherence to the dynamics of the record was however, lost on an audience that swallowed up the quieter musical moments in a tide of conversation; which frankly felt a bit embarrassing. Ending on a blistering ‘Peroration Six’, the just-under-an-hour set also fell short of satisfying those who were expecting a night’s worth of entertainment. The same can’t be said for the DJ set however. He stormed through 4 hours of relentless funk house, setting the crowd free whilst trapping them in kick-drums and handclaps. The pulse built brilliantly and although he ended at 3am, the crowd this time seemed happily danced to shit.

Winner: DJ set

Visuals
Several times at The Ritz, I am told—and consequently tell others, too, through small talk—that the technical visuals for Floating Points’ sets are arranged by Sheppard himself. True or not, this is easy to believe. The band performed in front of a shape-shifting display of sizzling green lines, as if one of those festival pricks with the laser pens finally took a degree in fine art. Though the strobes started out at a comfortable level of epilepsy, they did start to feel over-used. This didn’t stop The Ritz feeling like some space-based technicolour orgy in complete sync with the sounds filling it, however. The quality of visuals at The Ritz was a tough act for Hidden to follow and, unfortunately, it became a sort of underwhelming sci-fi sequel, as the lone Sheppard was washed in red and fog whilst everyone else bounced around in mostly darkness. This is not necessarily bad—the music drove the evening suitably without the need of extensive lighting and managed to show everyone the going-ons behind the decks—but nothing can compare to the burning laser tattoo guns at The Ritz.

Winner: Live set

Tunes
If you listen out for a single corner being cut in the live set, you won’t find it. Each musician is clinical enough to be a genius in their own right. ‘Argente’ and ‘Silhouettes (I, II & III)’ in particular stood out for their identifiable melodies and overflowing build-ups, swelling and pressing against each of the four walls and everything within them. This music is a perfectionist’s dream, with a degree of detail that would have Michelangelo in front of crowd, gurning his face off. You could hear the micro-rhythms, the tremors of instruments that weren’t even onstage. You could hear every artist influencing the young man’s incomprehensible music taste. It’s Brahms. It’s Miles Davis. Above all, it’s something that hasn’t come before. This contrasts dramatically with the Hidden soundtrack, pumping the sound of the ’70s down young throats via disco, funk, fast jazz and house. Not a single song was recognised and not a single song went un-danced to; as sole-burning as it was soulful. At times it did feel slightly safe though, whereas the deep end performance of the live set succeeded for its audacity. As hard as the DJ set tried, there is something truly special about the music at the live performance that elevated Floating Points as a composer onto a level above the rest.

Winner: Live set

The Man Himself
This is a tricky one. There is something sweet about Sheppard’s minimal crowd interaction in the live set (he says “thank you” an impressive two times in the whole thing), resembling a school child who’s won a prize for their Year 6 science display; proud yet shy, he doesn’t need to get distracted from his work’s quality by giving us personality. The man at Hidden, however, was something else. Anyone who has seen Floating Points DJ knows how into it he gets, and he pulled as many of the stops out that night as ever. His gyrating ginger head enjoyed itself in a way that it didn’t at the live set: without the nerves of facing a full-capacity audience and no longer limited by his music’s own ambience, Floating Points went as mad as his reserved demeanour would allow. The difference was that the crowd followed suit. Everyone felt how good a time he was having. In the end it went down to who you’d rather have at a party, the mad scientist or the square. At one point I caught full sight of him grinning and squinting as he dropped the filter; from then on, I know who I’d invite.

Winner: DJ set

So, what have you got. The meticulous beauty of Elaenia, transposed without flaw to a live set up, and a roaring session at Hidden that left everyone smiling—even Sheppard himself. But what you really got was an insight into the two sides of the neuroscience Phd student: the live performance—the masterpiece, the grand unveiling of his life’s work—and the DJ stint, which was the fun on the side, the late night experiment of creating a light show using optogenetic brain patterns. It was unclear which one Floating Points himself loves more, but I have a sneaking suspicion that, when he strolled off that stage to the cheers of 1,500 people, he thought: “Get me the fuck on those decks.”

Cameron’s reforms are a distraction from greater issues

Our victorious leader, David Cameron, emerged from the negotiating table, resisting what must have been drooping eyes from the long hours—as emphasised by many of our media outlets. I respect that Mr. Cameron had been pushed into a corner. The EU referendum is the referendum that no Tory ever wanted to hold.

However, in crude terms, the “special status” secured as a result of his “fighting for Britain” pandered to concerns about migrants’ “burden” on the welfare system, and immigration more generally. Yes, the block on further incursions on our sovereignty is good news, but it doesn’t address the current problems. And interestingly, it has quietly protected the City of London from regulation, and even demanded that the EU as a whole take further steps to deregulate its financial markets (see, 2008 crash for more details).

But let’s have some perspective. We aren’t in the Euro-zone and we aren’t in Schengen. We are a peripheral state in the EU. The continent has issues that are far more pressing.

To bust a myth, the Commission is not completely undemocratic. The appointment process of the President of the Executive Branch draws the most criticism, but this was—in theory—changed in 2014. A more accurate description of the EU would be that it has a ‘democratic deficit’. Turnout to EU votes are low, and there is indeed, the risk that current cracks in the organisation’s democratic nature could be exploited in the future. Indeed, some particularly passionate politicians, such as Viviane Reding—then Vice President of the European Commission in 2014—desire an increased degree of political union: a federal United States of Europe.

For now, the concerning elements of the EU are not its internal organisational problems—though they may be attributed to helping to cause other problems. The prime example of EU failure is Greece. The Greek socialist party, Syriza, has been a major force politics since 2011—with increasing prominence in democratic mandate. Both the EU and much of the press have continually ignored the voices and condition of the people of Greece, with the justification of maintaining ‘sensible’ austerity policies.

This ignorance of democracy in Greece highlights the central problem of the European project. The EU and the Eurozone have created a situation where an entire continent is subjected to the mismatch between centralised monetary policies and the attempts to maintain state-led fiscal and political policies. Those such as Yanis Varoufakis describe this as a way of maximising profit for Europe’s most wealthy nations at the expense of the less wealthy.

This may be the central economic issue, but it is not the most newsworthy. When Russia annexed Crimea, western media labelled as an act of Russian tyranny and aggression on the border of Europe. The same was said when Russian forces began to enter into East Ukraine. However, what the commentators failed to note was the contribution of the EU in the situation. It was the EU that acted first in trying to further relations between itself and Ukraine. The crux of this desire to have greater geo-political control came when the USA-EU supported near neo-Nazi party Svoboda, and declared that a ‘democratic’ overthrow had occurred. Of course Russian aggression was partly to blame, but the EU is in blatant denial of this example, of its desires for expansionism.

Another problem is the continuing desire to draw Turkey into the European Union. As Turkey is a US ally, it would no doubt be useful for those interests. It would secure relations that help to regulate pipelines, trade routes, and Russian access to the Mediterranean Sea. In what appears to be a part of a furthering of relations, Turkey is currently being paid by the EU to help keep migrants away from sacred European soil. To give some context, Turkey is still violent against the Kurdish ethnic group, and even the EU itself admits that in the country’s 2015 elections, “principles of democracy were undermined”.

Then, of course, there is TTIP (The Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership). A secretive ‘free-trade’ agreement is being negotiated between the USA and the European commission. It is suggested that when eventually passed the project will have the power of bypassing national laws in favour of corporate interests.

The issues that the EU faces are abstract and hard to summarise, but one thing is clear: whilst the British people will discuss the implications of Brexit and the reforms that Cameron has achieved, there are wider issues that need addressing. Here lies the problem. With the turnouts of European elections being so low, and their use often being that merely of the protest vote—there is little opportunity for the people of Europe to question the European Union directly. Although we are a peripheral state to the issues mentioned above, perhaps Cameron’s reforms show that politicians are unlikely to look beyond their national interests. In that case, the only powerful method for ‘changing’ the EU—for whatever reason— is the gradual fragmentation of the European Union by the independent exits of its member states. That spells a frightening future, unless there is to be a united movement for major change.

Jeremy Corbyn is driving Labour to oblivion

Oh what a wondrous day September the 12th, 2015 seemed. A rebirth of the left! A victory for democracy! A new dawn for Britain’s long-dormant political opposition! In fact, the day after Jeremy Corbyn’s election to the Labour leadership, I (and many thousands of others) went and signed up to be a member of the Labour Party.

Six months later, and it’s like we’ve been living through one never-ending car crash. A car crash that has utterly discredited the left and seemingly extinguished all serious opposition to Tory rule in England.
It would be easy to blame all of this on an admittedly highly biased right wing press that had it out for him from day one (which it did). But really, the blame lies with Corbyn, who has shown himself to be one of the most hopelessly incompetent leaders of any political party in recent history. Which in retrospect, we all should have expected (indeed, many did), from a man who had never led anything larger than the Harringey Planning Committee. And I say this not as a Tory or a Blairite, but as someone firmly on the left, who despises austerity and still believes in many of the policies that Jeremy Corbyn advocates.

It started virtually on day one, with the Shadow Cabinet reshuffle. A commendable overall gender balance, but a deeply disappointing presence of women in the top roles. Were there simply not enough women who were competent to do these jobs? Well, John McDonnell is clearly so competent to be Shadow Chancellor that he signs petitions calling for the abolition of MI5, and then uses “I didn’t read it” as a defence. Yes, let’s trust him with being in charge of economic policy.

Next came the U-turn on the fiscal charter—George Osborne’s rule committing the government to running a budget surplus by 2018. Ignoring the advice of both left wing and right wing economists (and indeed, anyone with any education in economics whatsoever), Corbyn decided to support it—before ultimately seeing sense and dropping it, willingly jumping into a trap that succeeded in its desired goal of making the Labour leadership look like a bunch of clowns.

After this, there came a brief respite, with the victory over tax credits. We hoped this might be a turning point, and now Labour would get it’s act together.

It was not to last, for along came the Paris attacks. It doesn’t matter how much of a pacifist you are, no sane human being goes on television the day after a terrorist attack and says they aren’t prepared to use lethal force against terrorists. This totally moronic act has succeeded in convincing the entire British public—with good reason—that this man, and by association, the left as a whole, can’t be trusted with our security.

A few weeks later, there was the unmitigated disaster that was the free vote on Syria. Instead of granting the free vote everyone knew he would have to give, he dithered over it for weeks, going behind his colleagues’ backs and sowing mistrust and discord in his own ranks. He thus turned a story that should have been about the fate of millions of Syrians into a story about his own failure to lead.

The New Year was opened with another new crisis. Corbyn’s team spent weeks spreading rumours about a supposed upcoming ‘revenge reshuffle’ in which he would conduct a Maoist purge of Shadow Cabinet Opposition. He even began this reshuffle the same day as launching his campaign for a renationalised railway, thus utterly eclipsing what should have been a very popular policy announcement. Oh, and then he completely bottled the reshuffle. Fantastic.

Not long after, Corbyn decided he wanted to impose a power-sharing agreement on the Falkland Islands with Argentina. What better way to draw attention to all the harm being done by the Tory government than to distract everyone with a ridiculous foreign policy announcement that no one in this country even agrees with. It’s insulting to everyone who died in the Falklands War. What’s more, it’s a reflection of his overarching worldview—one that is sadly echoed in many other left-wing parties and organisations—which can be summed up as ‘it’s nobody’s fault but ours’. It’s what leads him to naively suggest that we can ‘negotiate’ with ISIS, or that Putin would be kinder to us if we simply held more dialogue with him. Again, this was another thing we should have expected from his history. We were, to our shame, willing to forgive and perhaps even overlook some of his past associations (such as referring to Hamas as his ‘friends’) when we gave him our support for the leadership. Although in fairness, they were no worse than the ones David Cameron makes on a daily basis—like when he bowed down to homosexual-executing Saudi royals, or dined out with the leaders of the arms trade and Rupert Murdoch.

However, perhaps his greatest personal shortcoming is exposed in the weekly public humiliation that is Prime Minister’s Questions (PMQs). Or as it’s now better known, ‘Everyone Rips Labour Leader For 30 Minutes’. Reading out messages from the public was a nice idea at first, but after a while, you start to feel that he’s deferring his own responsibility to ask questions and confront the Prime Minister, for Corbyn is actually totally averse to dealing with confrontation. It’s one of the reasons tensions within his party go unresolved for so long. This is a fatal characteristic for anyone hoping to lead anything.

Oh, and there have now been two PMQs that coincided with the Junior Doctors’ strikes. And he couldn’t bring himself to bring it up at either one. A total betrayal.

The polling is dire. Really dire. There are elections in May. If Labour fail to make any gains or even stay in the same place, it means they have done worse than Ed Miliband—a man who lost. Badly. Given that the Tories are imploding over Europe, and voters are meant to be repelled by divided parties, any result for Labour other than overwhelming success will essentially be a total failure.

If Corbyn is even half the decent and principled man that I still believe he is deep down, he will not attempt to use Sadiq Khan’s victory in London as a defence, and will (presumably after the referendum) accept that he has failed and step down. If he isn’t, then we best hope that his MPs are brave enough to depose him and that the new members aren’t stupid enough to defend him.

Time is short. Labour, the left, the centre, the voters, the millions of people suffering at the hands of a vicious Tory Government—England deserve better than this. They deserve a real Opposition, one that stands a chance of one day replacing the current government. Corbyn is not remotely up to the job of leading this, and everyone in Labour (including him) needs to wake up to this fact soon and do something about it. If we don’t, we are in effect surrendering the country to the Tories for years to come.

And yes, in case you can’t tell, I’m very disillusioned.

An ode to my winter wardrobe

Winter has never been my favourite time of the year; the temperatures are sub-zero, the gale force winds are ferocious, and the rain never stops falling from the dimly lit sky. Despite this, my winter wardrobe has always been my most treasured, full to the brim with oversized jumpers and blanket-sized scarves. You know what they say—sweater weather is better weather, and I live by this mantra for the first three months of the year.

Now that winter is finally drawing to a close, with March 20th being the official first day of spring, I am left with mixed feelings. On the one hand, summer is but a mere leap, skip, and bound away, meaning beautiful flowery dresses and sunglasses galore. On the other hand, however, I’m not ready to be torn away from my beloved winter wardrobe just yet. I’m not willing to be dressed in spring pastels; I would much rather remain in my constant state of black, with the occasional pop of colour in the shape of my favourite red plaid scarf. As the inevitable will shortly ensue, I will wave off my esteemed attire with a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat, longing for our next hello.

To the fluffy socks that have hugged my feet all winter long and to the black Chelsea boots that have hidden away my fashion faux pas: Thank you for supporting me through all of the atrocious weather that the last three months have thrown at us. To the crimson scarf that has been constantly wrapped around my neck: thank you for being my safety blanket and for shielding me from Manchester’s wind. To the earmuffs that have been permanently attached to my head: Thank you for preventing my ears from sporting a (not so) dashing shade of rosy red. To all of the jumpers that have been hidden beneath layer upon layer: Thank you for keeping me warm and snuggly when forced to remove my coat.

Thank you to the gloves, thank you to the coats, and thank you to the array of beautiful winter colours that have encompassed my wardrobe. As I bid you all farewell, you will be sorely missed. But fret not—we will be reunited soon. Spring may be within sight but, with the constant arctic weather that accompanies living in England, I will always have an excuse to dive back into my cherished winter fashion.

Album: The 1975 – I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware Of It

I can think of no better example of musical self-awareness than The 1975. Regardless of what you think of them, it’s undeniable that they’ve cultivated a striking public image. From the stubbornly black and white nature of their early music videos to the garish neon pink they’ve adopted for their new album, the band have always been plagued by criticism of style over substance whilst simultaneously striding to unprecedented popularity.

And it’s this self-awareness that led Matt Healy to declare that “the world needs” The 1975’s new album, and also influenced their most recent video for ‘The Sound’, which is intercut with critic’s negative comments. The four Manchester lads have always been conscious of their audience, their critics, and their place in the musical landscape, which is admirable but also has its major drawbacks.

If you thought that the word-count ruining title I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it was merely an indication of the album’s bloated runtime, you’d be wrong. Think of it as a demonstration of how deeply self-involved the band are with their image, to the extent that, yes indeed, this is an album of style over substance.

The music is just as glossy and glamorous sounding as before. The same clean guitars stab through a wall of sparkling keyboards, the songs still use such a baffling variety of sounds that it’s impossible to keep up with any new melodic developments, and Matt Healy’s lyrics are still centralized around the idea that if it has enough syllables, it’ll do. There’s genuinely a line on track ‘Change Of Heart’ that goes ‘you look shit and you smell a bit’, and another later on in the album which references Sainsbury’s. Maybe they’ve got a sponsorship deal going? Coming soon: The 1975 branded Pick ’n’ Mix; every sweet is pink and tastes exactly the same, just like their album.

This is not a diverse affair, the songs are repetitive, bleeding into one another to the extent where it’s difficult to pick them apart. This is the aforementioned drawback of being very conscious about your own sound. The 1975 refuse to leave their comfort zone, and whilst there’s nothing wrong with that, it feels as if a sonic blueprint is the full extent of the band’s creativity, because what really lets this album down is its lack of memorability.

The band’s debut had ear-worm hooks, ‘Chocolate’, ‘Girls’, ‘The City’, ‘Heart Out’, ‘Sex’. These tracks were attractive because of their grit, their cheekiness, their underlying uncertainty. ILIWYSFYASBYSUOI (see how ridiculous this is?) has ‘Love Me’, yes, but nothing else on here is as good as their debut, and it doesn’t set itself apart in the same way as that album did.

It’s convenient that there’s a song called ‘UGH!’ on this album, because that’s the exact sentiment I’ll use to sum up my experience of it. This may seem like an obvious and uninspired effort, but then again, if The 1975 can do it, why can’t I?

2/10

Pasha

By some miracle, on a blustery winters evening I found myself transported to a Middle Eastern paradise. Pasha is a delightful little restaurant in Withington, within easy reach of the main student area. Having been only open for nine months, Pasha is ranked as the #10 restaurant on Tripadvisor in Manchester, so I felt it would be foolish not to go and sample what it has to offer when it lies a stone’s throw from my doorstep.

Photos: Pasha

We were greeted by kind and attentive staff on arrival, and ushered to a table laid with some of the prettiest crockery I have ever seen. The room was impeccably decorated with wall hangings, candles and beautiful lampshades; heavenly smells wafted through the room, making us confident that we had come to quite a special place. As we were only two, we only ordered a few bits from the extensive mezze menu. While we eagerly anticipated the arrival of our food, we were brought olives and pickles to whet our appetite. Then came the glorious dishes we had ordered. The houmous was the silkiest one could imagine, dressed with olive oil and spices, and served with flatbreads warm from the oven to scoop it up.

An old friend of mine named halloumi made an appearance, served in fat, salty slices, lightly grilled and delicious as ever. Spinach bourek were beautifully crisp and plump filo cigars filled with spinach and heady with sweet and spicy cardamom—I’m not sure if the spicing was entirely to my taste but the textures were gorgeous. Chicken skewers from the charcoal pit were fat and juicy; flavoursome yet mildly spiced, and given a good kick by the accompanying chilli sauce which really brought them to life. The star of the show was undoubtedly the mousakah, consisting of meaty aubergines cooked in a richly spiced tomatoes, chickpeas and onions which really complimented everything else that we ate.

A wonderful pro of this restaurant is the fact that it is BYOB and doesn’t charge corkage, making it a perfect place to eat out on the cheap with your tipple of choice. My advice would be to come here with a large group of friends and order a wide breadth of items from the menu so that you can sample as much as possible for an even cheaper price. We left stuffed, but were sad to have only tried a small portion of what they had to offer. I would highly recommend this restaurant to anyone. The top class staff serve up some spectacular food, and they thoroughly deserve the high Tripadvisor standing that they have gained.

Price ££

Food 4/5

Drinks 5/5

Service 5/5

Atmosphere 5/5

Value 4/5

 

www.pasha-restaurant.com

 

 

Review: Goodnight Mister Tom

Michelle Magorian’s classic story of wartime England, adapted by playwright David Wood, arrives at The Opera House, Manchester. Having seen its debut on London’s West End in 2013, the Olivier award-winning Chichester Festival Theatre production of Goodnight Mister Tom has arrived to tug at the heart strings of the North as we follow a troubled young evacuee, William Beech, on his journey to the countryside during the build up to World War II. Our young hero finds himself placed in the care of the old local recluse, Tom Oakley; a seemingly harsh man who seeks only the company of his dog, and avoids human contact since the passing of his wife years ago. The audience watched, captivated, as old Tom transformed into Willy’s beloved Mister Tom.

The stripped back production used only the necessities to create an enchanting hold on those lucky enough to be watching. A simple set with minimal props and furniture subtly highlighted the meagre lifestyle of England living through the war. The acappella renditions ;khng talented cast. Puppetry was an ingenious portrayal of Mister Tom’s beloved canine companion, Sammy, with Elisa De Grey mastering his sound and movement to the point where you forgot there was even a puppeteer present, and saw only man’s best friend.

Mister Tom himself is played by British stage and TV regular, David Troughton. Spieling lines is an easy feat for an actor, but to be comfortable in silence is an art. He nailed it. It was like he was born to play Mister Tom. Of course, he has two bright young stars to perform with. Alex Taylor-McDowall as William Beech made the entire audience want a little evacuee to call their own, and Oliver Loades as Zach broke the hearts of every last person in that auditorium. Bright futures ahead for both child actors in this performance.

Goodnight Mister Tom at The Opera House is a must see for anyone who enjoys a touching wartime narrative, a father-son love story, or for anyone who enjoys good theatre. Simple, stunning, superb.

Dispelling the myths of feminism

Whilst the acceptance of feminism is now widespread across every university campus in Britain, you do still come across the occasional misguided individual in the Friendship Inn, convinced that feminists are out to cut their dick off. Here are some common misconceptions about feminism, debunked.

Feminists hate men

The theory here being that because feminists are so invested in fighting for equality for the female sex, that this obviously involves crushing their male counterparts to dust in the process. This is quite clearly not true, since the point of feminism is to have equality for both genders. Feminists in fact don’t hate me, they hate sexism, misogyny and the patriarchy. In Feminism is For Everybody, bell hooks rightly stated: “Masses of people think that feminism is always and only about women seeking to be equal to men. And a huge majority of these folks think feminism is anti-male. Their misunderstanding of feminist politics reflects the reality that most folks learn about feminism from patriarchal mass media.”

Feminists are hysterical

It’s centuries old, but the stereotype of women with a point to prove being hysterical refuses to die. By this logic, feminists are left with no leg to stand on when all of their highly valid points are shot down as overly dramatic. But you quite simply can’t argue with the facts that feminists have to offer. Returning to what bell hooks says: “As all advocates of feminist politics know most people do not understand sexism or if they do they think it is not a problem.” It is a rare passionate feminist who doesn’t have solid evidence to back up her emotional protestations, and facts don’t mean hysteria.

Feminism is only beneficial for women

Feminism helps both men and women as it works to achieve a more realistic version of masculinity for men. There is a strong feminist focus on ending cycles of abuse in the marital home that are thought to stem from supressed male emotions. A study in 1981 called The Unintended Victims of Marital Violence, found that “Male children who witness the abuse of mothers by fathers are more likely to become men who batter in adulthood than those male children from homes free of violence.” By embracing a more equal society, the hyperbolized figure of masculinity is defunct.

While not exhaustive, these are some of the most general misconceptions about feminism. Next time you get irritated at Lena Dunham or Caitlin Moran’s latest tweet and are about to try and take down feminism in one fell swoop, bear these in mind.

South Africa throw a spanner into the works of England’s World T20 preparation

England’s men were humbled by a rampant South African side who whitewashed the tourists in the T20 series 2-0. In the final regular tour Twenty20 International series before the World T20 they displayed the same aggressive style that has been the trademark of Eoin Morgan’s captaincy, but they were simply outplayed by stronger opposition. While elements of bad luck did affect both England matches, South Africa showed more consistency and played out both games superbly. England’s women fared much better, beating the Proteas 2-1 and cementing their place as a firm favourite to regain the title they won at Lord’s in 2009.

The men’s first match was certainly a more encouraging affair for Eoin Morgan’s team, with the game going down to the final ball. Although Reece Topley will certainly look back at his failure to run out Kyle Abbot and wonder what might have been, England as a whole performed well at Newlands in a game that was far from a thrashing. Taking South Africa to the edge of defeat looked like the continuation of a run of good T20 form that had seen Morgan’s men remain undefeated since May 2014.

In contrast, England were trounced at the Wanderers in match number 2 and must be bitterly disappointed that they let a game that was well within their grasp go away from them so quickly. Lancashire’s Jos Buttler showed his superior class in the game by smashing a 40-ball 54 and put England in a strong position to take the game away from the Proteas at 157-4. However, the loss of Morgan soon after wards—in the unluckiest of fashions—precipitated a spectacular batting collapse, and England finished on 171 all out just three overs after Morgan fell. South Africa then proceeded to successfully chase the score set by England in just 14.4 overs and with the loss of just one wicket.

As far as England’s chances of success at the World T20 goes, the men’s team is still strong and there are match winners there. Jos Buttler, Adil Rashid and skipper Eoin Morgan have proved themselves as one day specialists, with Buttler fetching £385,000 in the IPL auction and Rashid the top wicket-taker in the Big Bash League group stages. They have also proved that they can play to the death in big games, beating Australia by 6 runs in Cardiff last year and India by 3 runs the year before.

The coaching pedigree behind the England side is the best in the world, Head Coach Trevor Bayliss has won all the major franchise cricket trophies in the world. Big Bash and Champions League wins with the Sydney Sixers and an IPL with Kolkata Knight Riders—along with a World Cup final with Sri Lanka in 2011—shows the white-ball knowhow guiding the squad through the World T20 is second-to-none and gives this England team a little something extra that could be the difference that wins the title in India.

However, they must bounce back quickly in the warm up matches if they are to have the momentum to win what would be England’s first major championship since the 2010 World T20. Within two days, England have gone from being undefeated in two years to being on the end of a whitewash in the first series of the year, which will be a massive blow to their confidence. The scale of the collapse and the failure to adapt to a sudden change in game situation will be concerning, but it will feel well within the grasp of this squad.

On a more positive note, England’s women will go to India with much more confidence, having comfortably defeated South Africa 2-1. Sarah Taylor impressed with a third consecutive fifty and joined Charlotte Edwards in the exclusive club of women to score 2000 career runs in Twenty20 internationals, and is now behind Edwards in second on the all-time list of run scorers in the format. That meant that England consolidated their second place in the ICC team rankings and go into the tournament as the favourites to topple world number 1 side Australia in India.

Andrew Strauss’s new regime at the ECB will be tested for the first time since the Ashes, and consistency will be key to whether either England side can vindicate his approach of allowing both sides to play expansive and exciting cricket.

England Men start their campaign on March 16th against the West Indies and England Women against Bangladesh on March 17th.

Role Models in sport

The revelations coming out of the Adam Johnson trial have been shocking. The footballer is currently undergoing a trial for four counts of underage sexual activity; he has pleaded guilty to two of these counts. The details coming out of the court room paint a sickening picture. One can only hope that the justice system adequately punishes him for his misconduct.

The crimes committed by Johnson stand as a gross abuse of his esteemed position in society, utilising his fame, and subsequent power, to satisfy his perverted desires. He is the stark opposite of a role model. Despite this, the vast majority of sportspeople live reputable lives, aware of their elevated position. Instances such as Johnson’s are infrequent. However, they continue to crop up.

It is generally accepted that sportspeople should be role models in society; there is a greater emphasis on and a greater requirement of sportspeople to live respectably. This greater emphasis results from the intense scrutiny and attention, as well as the position of power and influence, which comes with being a professional in sport. This principle has been heightened in the social media age, where people’s lives can be monitored even more precisely.

Sportspeople are marvelled for their ability; people want to imitate them. As result, their actions outside of sport can also be open to imitation also. Wrongdoings can appear permissible if enacted by someone who has influence over others. All this puts emphasis on top sportspeople being models of reputable living in society.

There is a tension at the centre of the role model debate. I often feel it is forgotten that sportspeople are still people, and that people make mistakes. Not for a minute am I attempting to rationalise actions such as Johnson’s: they are unlawful and wrong. However, the intense scrutiny that sportspeople live under means that even the slightest misdemeanours are elevated to massive heights. For example, the footballer Raheem Sterling was videoed, and then photographed, using the legal high laughing gas last year. This is an activity that many people of Sterling’s age (now 21) engage in. While it is thought there are dangers in using laughing gas, it is not illegal. Sterling was merely participating in something popular with his age group. However, it was perceived that Sterling was not taking his position as a top sportsperson into account. In using laughing gas, he was promoting it; in doing so, he was deemed a bad role model.

I can sympathise with the intense scrutiny that sportspeople live under. However, this sympathy is finite. The modern-day sportsperson will undoubtedly be aware of the demands of the job. They know they will constantly be under the spotlight; they will know that even the smallest transgression will tarnish the perception of them. However, the intense scrutiny sportspeople are subjected to is constraining. I can understand why certain ‘forbidden fruits’ seem very appealing, especially at the young age that many people turn professional these days.

While the majority of sportspeople respect the esteemed position they hold, stories of transgressions continue to crop up. So, how can sporting role models be encouraged? I will focus on two ways in which I think good actions can be inspired.

Initially, the culture in a specific sport can be improved, where players are models of respect and decency. This would promote better action. Rugby Union is renowned for its respectful culture. In rugby, respect towards the referees is paramount. Any abuse or questioning of a referee is punished with a sin bin, or a sending off in extreme scenarios, and the captains of each team are the only players allowed to have significant conversation with them. Moreover, despite the ferocious nature of the sport, in rugby the players have deep respect for each other; it is traditional for each team to clap the opposition off the pitch after each game. This respectful attitude is heavily encouraged at a grassroots level too, meaning that the culture is embedded right through the spectrum of the sport.

Football, on the other hand, is renowned for disrespectful nature. Premier League games are characterised by players surrounding and questioning referees after the making of a decision. The attitude the players have for each other is improving, the multicultural nature of club football meaning that players of the same nationality will often play against each other. However, poor conduct amongst the players is still present.

The problem is that, at a grassroots level, footballers observe this behaviour and replicate it. Disrespect is engrained as the culture of football. The FA have attempted to address the issue: in amateur football, disrespect towards another player often results in a yellow card, and subsequent fine, for the player in question. However, ultimately the culture within the English football pyramid will not improve until the culture in the Premier League does. Rugby has shown the model for success: make the top league reputable then attempt to improve the rest. Amateur players will be more respectful if their favourite players are.

Another way of inspiring sportspeople to be role models is through direct encouragement. For example, the NFL has a yearly award, known as the Walter Payton Man of the Year award, for volunteer/charity work within a player’s community. Through the means of an award, the League encourages all players to commit to charitable and benevolent action in their communities, and in the process be role models. The use of awards to encourage charitable action is definitely something that should be implemented in other sports. The NFL now has a culture where players are driven to do good things in their communities.

Whether they like it or not, sportspeople have a unique requirement to live reputably. This can be as little as getting on with your job and staying out of trouble. While the influx of money and status can distort the moral compass, there are ways in which better role models can be encouraged.

United In Crisis

After a 2-1 defeat away to Sunderland left them 12 points behind Leicester City, 10 behind Tottenham and Arsenal and 6 behind fourth-placed Manchester City, Louis Van Gaal conceded that Manchester United’s best chance of reaching next season’s Champions League would be by winning the Europa League. That made the 2-1 defeat to Midtjylland, a side who had not played a competitive match for two months beforehand, in the first leg of their last-32 Europa League tie even more abysmal, and Van Gaal’s time as manager even more damning.

To be fair to the Dutchman, he achieved what was expected of him last season, but rather than the improvement anticipated after another large outlay in the summer, United have regressed; there were doubts about United’s style of play last season, but those murmurs of discontent have only grown louder this season.

Despite possessing the joint third-best defensive record in the league, United have scored only 33 goals in 26 Premier League matches, a stark contrast to the attacking brio seen during Alex Ferguson’s reign. Yes there have been significant injury problems – David De Gea’s injury in the warm-up only compounding the misery of that match against Midtjylland – but the players seem stifled and disinterested with Van Gaal’s philosophy.

The problems at United, however, are not just confined to on the field, but off it as well, as they have been since Ferguson and the chief executive, David Gill, left the club. Ferguson was succeeded by David Moyes seemingly based on his recommendation alone, despite the fact that the only trophy Moyes had won up until that point was the Football League Second Division (now League One) title with Preston in the 1999-00 season.

Moyes’ and Ed Woodward’s (Gill’s successor) first transfer window proved presciently shambolic. United pursued Marouane Fellaini throughout the summer, paying £27.5 million for him in a deadline-day deal. But Fellaini’s contract had contained a £23.5 million release clause that had expired during that same transfer window. After comfortably winning the title in Ferguson’s last season in charge, Fellaini was United’s only significant purchase, a tactic which spectacularly backfired, as shown by Chelsea this season.

Since then United have spent lavishly on players in a bid to seriously contend for trophies once again; Woodward, in particular, has been keen to legitimise his appointment. Among others, Angel Di Maria, Juan Mata, Ander Herrera, Luke Shaw, Anthony Martial, Morgan Schneiderlin, Bastian Schweinsteiger, Radamel Falcao and Memphis Depay have all moved to United, but performances and results have not improved drastically with them.

The transfer strategy has lacked a clear plan, with, from the outside, some signings made on the basis of attracting headlines as opposed to strengthening the team. Mata’s best position is central and off the striker, which is where Wayne Rooney likes to play; Herrera was wanted by Moyes, who had been sacked before Herrera joined the club, yet Van Gaal has only started him sporadically. While a traumatic attempted burglary exacerbated Di Maria’s desire to leave Manchester, Van Gaal did not find a way to incorporate him into the first team. Watching Di Maria return to form at PSG this season is particularly galling and an indictment of Van Gaal.

As for Woodward, United continue to gain new sponsors and improved commercial deals, but the running of the football side of United with him in charge has been at times laughable and his transfer record poor. Discounting the Community Shield, United have not won a trophy since Ferguson left, and continued poor performance, even for a club as popular worldwide as United, will affect the club’s ability to attract sponsors. In addition, unlike Moyes, Van Gaal was Woodward’s choice, and it will reflect badly on him should the Dutchman be sacked.

United’s academy is also under scrutiny. The Class of ’92 were highly successful and contained some genuinely world-class players. In the 24 years since then, however, the academy has produced some decent Premier League players, e.g. Danny Welbeck and Wes Brown, at best. Nicky Butt is the new head of the academy, but Brian McClair, Butt’s predecessor, announced he was leaving in February 2015, and vacated his role in May. That indicates the lack of emphasis placed on the academy currently, especially in comparison with the likes of Chelsea, Manchester City and Everton. That negligence has affected results; Paul McGuinness left his position in charge of the under-18s this month, with United eleventh in a twelve-team division.

Should Van Gaal leave before next season, his potential replacements are not without concerns, especially as the next manager will probably have to significantly restructure the squad once again. Rumours about Jose Mourinho replacing Van Gaal have been incessant since Chelsea sacked him. The Portuguese manager has had a trophy-laden managerial career and, in terms of results, will maximise the squad’s potential. But he has rarely developed young players, which is not a criticism that can be labelled at Van Gaal, and has so far left clubs after a few seasons. He is likely to solve United’s on-field issues in the short term, but will he provide long-term stability at a club that desperately needs it?

Ryan Giggs, on the other hand, is unproven as a manager. The fact that he is Van Gaal’s assistant suggests that Giggs has either agreed with LVG’s methods or been unable to convince Van Gaal enough to change his tactics. Either way it suggests that Giggs is not yet ready to take on a job of this magnitude at a world-renowned club in need of a strong and able manager.

Overall, United’s problems both off and on the field since Ferguson left the club are not mutually exclusive. United lack a strong footballing structure (sporting directors etc.) that the likes of Bayern Munich – whose executives shepherd the club through managerial and squad changes, and thus ensure the continued success of the club – possess. This means that when a talismanic figure, such as Ferguson, leaves, United enter a period of uncertainty that affects performances and is difficult to rectify, as has been shown over the past three seasons. For United to remain at the top of world football, strong, decisive leadership is needed at an executive and managerial level.

The Student Survey misses the point

Recently I received a letter in the post, and it doesn’t stop there. I tore it open and read the title heading the first page: ‘The National Student Survey 2016’. Finally, I thought, a chance for me to have my say! I read on and noticed that ‘have your say’ was in the opening line. It was a promising start, but this was somewhat undercut by the fact that they had actually put inverted commas around ‘have your say’. I wondered if perhaps this was the draft version of the letter that had been sent around the office as a joke and then sent to us by accident. It was as though there were so many empty clichés on the first page that some had taken to waving at me to get my attention.

Nevertheless, I was just so excited about having my say, whether it was intertextual or not, that I turned to the survey itself and browsed through the points. Down the page was a list of statements to which you could express a range of nuanced responses, all the way from violent disagreement to ecstatic and partly spiritual concurrence. For those of the participants who were just in it for the experience, you were also offered the response ‘neither agree nor disagree’.

Number 18 caught my eye, as the statement offered read: “I have been able to access specialised equipment, facilities, or rooms when I needed to.” Well, it is true, I have accessed a fair few rooms in my time. Many tell me it is one of my defining features—there goes ol’ Elliott “The Room Accessor” Mills, accessing rooms when he needs to, they say. Don’t even try stopping him from accessing a necessary room, they reiterate in partial italics.

To be fair though, and fairness is key, the statement did get me questioning just how much special equipment I had been offered over my three years of studying English Literature. Not much! In fact I wouldn’t say any of the gear I’ve been given at university was all that special. Someone had to be blamed for this, and it certainly wasn’t going to be me. I crossed the ‘Definitely disagree’ box and with pencil added in “with an undue sense of self-entitlement”, to strengthen my case. Hopefully, in just redress, at least one member of staff would lose their job.

Jobs, I think, are the main concern for the structuring of university, as this survey suggests the future of university experience is more based around the acquisition of qualifications for the benefit of future employment, rather than the enjoyment of an area of study in itself. One of the opening points in the survey asks us whether the “staff have made the subject interesting”. This seems to suggest that it would be strange to find the subject interesting anyway. That notion is compounded by the fact that the largest section in the survey relates to ‘Assessment and feedback’ and wants to know whether the student has been told assessment criteria, been marked fairly, and has received a no-win-no-fee 2.1 guarantee.

The National Student Survey tell us that they are “giving students a powerful collective voice to help shape the future of both their course and their university or college”, but it just so happens that the voice mostly talks about how they’re not interested in their course and how they are only there because they want to earn a qualification for the purposes of future employability. It’s not an evil voice, but it’s not an interesting voice either: It talks over-aggressively at waiters. It says ‘dividend’ quite often. The shape of this future university is already just about in view, predetermined rather than open for moulding. It is as though there is a giraffe-shaped balloon and we are told that we can contribute to its future shape by how much air we would like to blow into it. Similar to a balloon, this survey seems innocuous and is carried by a fair amount of hot air.

I will admit that the imagery and the concepts didn’t quite align there. I’m not sure why the balloon was shaped like a giraffe nor why it then turned into a hot air balloon. I suppose I don’t fully have control over my literary and rhetorical devices because the staff didn’t make the subject interesting enough.

I remember the phrase ‘Homeric simile’ from second year because the lecturer did a joke about The Simpsons. After that joke the topic was no longer interesting. Then The Simpsons didn’t even come up in the exam. I guess that means the lecturer didn’t give me enough academic support. I guess that means they should get rid of that lecturer.

Abuse: It’s time to re-evaluate

As a generation, we like to believe that we are progressive. We look back to the bad things that happened historically with pursed lips and frowning foreheads, comfortable in the knowledge that nowadays, we are firm supporters of tolerance and humanity. But how can we justify that belief when human beings are still being subjected to abuse at the hands of other human beings, getting away with it, every single day? The media has been set alight this week with reports of the legal battle between Kesha and music producer Dr Luke, who is accused of sexual and physical assault against the 29-year-old ‘Tik Tok’ singer. On February 19th 2016, Judge Shirley Kornreich denied Kesha’s request for a preliminary injunction (which would have allowed a temporary break from her contract with the Sony label Kemosabe Records) prompting the young artist to break down into tears in the courtroom. Unsurprisingly, the reaction of the singer and the court’s decision have sparked mass debate amongst Kesha fans and critics alike.

Back in October of 2014, a lawsuit was filed against Lukasz Sebastian Gottwald (Dr Luke) claiming that he subjected Kesha to several instances of sexual, physical, emotional and substance abuse which began back in 2005, when the singer was just 18. Although the producer forcibly denied the accusations, claiming that they are part of a smear campaign to disrepute him, Kesha sought to legally break free of the contract that tethers her to his record label. However, in court Judge Kornreich reportedly stated that she saw no reason to “take the extraordinary measure of granting an injunction” and branded the contract as “typical for the industry”. It was also brought into question that music giant Sony had offered Kesha the opportunity to work with a different producer if she was unhappy, however her lawyers quickly voiced the singer’s concern that her music would not be promoted as heavily if she refused to work with Dr Luke, one of their biggest moneymakers.

Judge Kornreich justified her decision by asserting that “[her] instinct [was] to do the commercially reasonable thing”. But since when did being “commercially reasonable” gain the power to trump basic human rights? Yes, contract law is extremely binding and carries a lot of legal weight, but this obvious dismissal to a young woman’s claim of serious physical assault stands as a prime example of one of the major societal problems of today. We just don’t take abuse seriously. Why on earth are we living in a world where business contracts are given precedent over the right for people to feel safe in their own environment? Nobody deserves to be abused. Nobody has the right to be an abuser, no matter how high up the business ladder they are. What Kesha is going through is a very public example of why 75 per cent of people in the UK (and 68 per cent in the United States) choose to not inform the authorities following an experience of sexual assault. It’s heartbreaking to fully comprehend just how many women (and, of course, men) are out there struggling with the belief that nobody would take them seriously if they tried to report the crimes they had been subjected to. It took 50 separate accusations before Bill Cosby faced any criminal charges, so imagine how it feels to be just one person. In that position, why even consider opening up such emotional wounds when there’s little hope that you will get any justice?

In the days subsequent to the court case, it has become increasingly clear just how deeply these issues have resonated amongst the public, with thousands of people taking to Twitter to show their support for Kesha by retweeting the hashtag #FreeKesha. This included celebrities such as fellow musician Demi Lovato, who tweted that it was “frustrating to see women come forward with their past only to be shot down, not believed and disrespected for their bravery in taking action”. Kesha herself also chose to speak out, tweeting a picture, professing: “HOPE is the only thing stronger than FEAR”, along with a caption expressing a dignified thanks to all of those who had shown their support.

We as women are encouraged to stand up against abuse, but this is a clear illustration of what happens to so many of those who do. OK, so Kesha is a celebrity and chooses to live life in the public eye, and yes, she sometimes wears outlandish outfits and dances provocatively in her music videos. But does that make her any less of a woman? Of a human being? The answer is a definitive no. If one thing has become clear in the midst of this situation it’s that we as a people need to re-evaluate how we deal with cases of abuse, because the way things are at the moment is simply unacceptable. And in the ongoing case of Kesha and Dr Luke? Well, all we can hope for is that the humanity of America’s judicial system isn’t completely dead.

Last Week in Film

A life-sized Oscar statuette created by the street artist Plastic Jesus was placed on Hollywood Boulevard at the section which will be closed at the awards. This does not sound fascinating or newsworthy at first, but the statuette is on all fours snorting two lines of cocaine from the ground. According to the artist, it is an homage to the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman who passed away weeks earlier because of a heroin overdose and a commentary on Hollywood culture. It is supposed to draw attention to Hollywood’s buried problem of drug abuse which is ignored until someone newsworthy dies.

The Vietnamese producer and director Phi Phi Anh Nguyen created the world’s first vertical feature film Arbitrary Fairytales. With a length of 83 minutes, the absurdist film was designed to topple cinematic conventions by shooting entirely with a rotated camera. The plot revolves around a dying teenager who challenges death to help him solve a case of a serial killer. The existentialist murder film shows the progress of the case by using a chaptered recollection of memories. The film is not completed yet and looks for funding on Kickstarter. A link to the campaign and the trailer can be found here.

Game of Thrones does not only break records anymore, but apparently the TV series also boosts the economy in Northern Ireland. According to the film agency Northern Ireland Screen, the HBO fantasy drama had contributed £110 million to the local economy. It is filmed at the at the Titanic Studios in Belfast, and many other locations across Northern Ireland. Those locations have become tourist attractions; especially due to the Game of Thrones tour attracting visitors from all over the world. Due to the economic success of the show, Belfast City Council have approved a plan for a studio thought to be worth up to £14 million.

Jeremy Clarkson finally came to his senses and apologised to the former Top Gear producer Oisin Tymon whom he had infamously punched last March. Oisin Tymon is expected to obtain over £100,000 from the BBC and Jeremy Clarkson after settling his racial discrimination and personal injury claim. He was punched and called a “lazy, Irish c**t” by Clarkson after he told him that he could not order a steak after a long day of filming.

Operation Masturbation

Having been asked to write a piece for feminism week in the Lifestyle section, I found myself in that state dreaded by journalists and authors alike: Writer’s block.

Being blocked is frustrating. You know there’s something you need to do, you know there’s something you can do, but for whatever reason, it just ain’t happening. Why was I blocked? A lack of motivation perhaps, a lack of inspiration, food for thought. Maybe I doubted my ability to produce anything. What I needed to do was to calm down, forget about the end point of finishing the article itself, and take baby steps. Play around with it, slowly undress my ideas onto a blank page without the urgency to come to the climax.

I thought about the deadline, issued on Monday and I had until Thursday. What was the rush? I had loads of time. I could write a little bit every day if I wanted, write it all in one go, or simply let the mood take me away without any kind of plan. The latter was my favourite. Besides, the act of writing wasn’t going to go away, it wasn’t like this was my only chance. As with anything, practice makes perfect. The first time may not be successful, but to succeed we can keep trying and only get better.

There’s nothing embarrassing about feeling pent up; nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to everyone, and some may be more open about it than others. One thing is for sure: We shouldn’t shame those who have something to release, we should encourage and help them to channel their inner spirit out, bring them to life by giving hope, empowerment and sisterly advice. This empowerment is for everyone. Whether you feel like trying is like hitting a brick wall, and you have come to a stage of acceptance and that it’s not for you, or whether you feel that you have no problem with this issue and you don’t need the help—it’s important to be aware that everyone is different and the conversation is worth having between trusted friends.

Make time for yourself, for your personal creativity. Try to connect the ideas of your brain with your fingers. This output is an important part of human nature and a valuable form of meditation. If you find yourself over-thinking whilst trying to remain in the moment, you could always try chanting the acronym of this title: ॐ, or “Om”.

Spirituality is an ancient thing, the body is designed to facilitate its own pleasure through the power of the mind and the fingertips. This past time is as valuable to your happiness and wellbeing as sleeping, eating and keeping clean.

Take it slow, take it easy. Light some candles if you like, have a bath. Let the mind relax and forget about the impending objective of the activity. Do some stretches, loosen up and let your hands do the magic.
Everyone can do it. Everyone can let their creativity rush. Don’t give up, you have it in you. Just release the pressure, take it slow and make the experience an enjoyable one.

Oh look, it’s the end of the article. I made time, I did it, there was no pressure. And oh, does it feel good.