In a vain attempt to continue our series of ‘every _____ film in a day’, my flatmate and I decided attempting to watch every Star Wars film in, indeed, a day. Yes we are crazy. That’s two trilogies, totalling about 12 ½ hours. 12 ½ hours of lightsabers, but thankfully, only two hours of Jar Jar Binks. We were going to have to start early. I remarked that we probably couldn’t do it, that our chances were 4,756 to one, but Mickey was having none of it: ‘Never tell me the odds’ he said.

Vampires. These bloodsucking creatures have been the villains and sometimes the heroes, of films from the dawn of cinema; their power to both scare and enthral us remaining to this day.

We all love monsters, vampires, zombies, and so on and they’re fun (if you like to laugh at the improbable) but the truly memorable characters from horror movies, the ones that send a shiver down every viewer’s spines are the humans.

Of all the film scenes throughout history, nothing has ever matched the simplistic chill of Jurassic Park: A single coffee cup, shot up close as it ripples with the heavy footsteps of the approaching T-Rex. Why does this single image continue to instill so much dread in the general public? Because monsters are big. Really big.

So it’s Halloween and you and your flatmates sit down to enjoy a couple of scary movies. But Which do you choose? Well definitely not Land of the Dead with its dull plotline and zombies that appear to have escaped from the local care home; nor Blade with its ridiculous action sequences, and lack of style no matter how hard it tries.

You’re running through a deep, dark wasteland, pursued by an unspeakable terror. You can’t get away fast enough, and for some reason your every move is punctuated by gothic choral music. But then a thought occurs, and you stop. Why are you running?

A lot has been said about the desensitisation of audiences to gore and horror. In the last decade, our preoccupation with our own desensitisation has been escalated, thanks to a series of ‘gorenography’ films; horror flicks that spend most of their time showing us grisly, disgusting deaths, maiming, and quite often some of the most startlingly repulsive images we’re ever likely to see.

Once upon a time, during my first week of life as a fresher, I was introduced to a film that would remain lodged in my memory for the rest of eternity.

Thor – (May) – British, Shakespearean actor and director Kenneth Branagh brings his prowess to comic book territory, with an interesting cast including Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins and Idris Elba (aka Stringer Bell from The Wire).

Henry David Thoreau once said, ‘Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth’. This movie is based on a true story; it follows a man named ‘Christopher McCandless’ in his search for ‘the truth’ and a life with nature.

I hate Shrek. No, really, I hate it. And not in an ‘I hate carrots’ kind of way, but in a full blown, screaming-as-you-pull-your-suitcases-out-the-door, ‘I hate you and your mother and that tattoo of your ex’s face that you have on the inside of your thigh’ way.

It was Cornerhouse’s 25th birthday on 25th September, and to celebrate they held an ‘80s party called ‘It was acceptable in the ‘80s’ (why does everybody keep saying that? What was acceptable in the ‘80s? Invading the Faulklands?). It started off with a choice of classic ‘80s films, and everyone went to see The Goonies except me, a move I quickly regretted. Insignificance seemed more attractive at the time, and was also a movie I hadn’t seen approximately a billion times. It’s about a man who is clearly supposed to be Einstein and a woman who is clearly supposed to be Marilyn Monroe who nearly have sex but don’t. Weird. After the film there was a quiz about the ‘80s and I literally didn’t know a single answer, but everyone was given a donut for taking part. Guiltiest donut I’ve ever eaten. The donut of shame. The party then moved upstairs and it was all free drinks and dancing Ghostbusters. Actually, after the two free drinks it reverted back to mad Cornerhouse prices, so getting battered wasn’t really on the agenda. It would’ve been a little weird anyway to be honest; the crowd at this party were overwhelmingly those who idolised Bill Murray when they were seven, but who are now kind of balding and forlornly picking at their glittery suits over a mug of red wine. The party was a bit lamely decked out and no massive effort had gone into the decoration of the place. There was also the quite fundamental problem that there was no good music in the ‘80s. True story. Verdict: Members of the Breakfast Club might have enjoyed this but as a member of the Pokemon club this didn’t offer a great deal. Noughties Ferris Bueller would’ve truanted the fuck out of this.

The regional premier is on Tuesday 12th April at 7pm in Manchester Odeon Filmworks (in the Printworks in town), and will be followed by a Q&A with Director James Wan, and Writer/Actor Leigh Whannell, the dark minds behind the phenomenally successful SAW franchise.

Donald Duck – The original exhibitionist – I have never seen this dude wearing pants, yet he feels the need to wear half a sailor costume. A Little too kinky for kids if you ask me.

When we think of Paris now, we think of thin women, baguettes and the Eiffel Tower. Rewind several decades to the 1940s and we begin to see it wasn’t all that. From 1946 to 1958, the Fourth Republic of France was in its post-war operation (the Nazis had left and American films were once again allowed to be shown).

Told from the fourth-wall-breaking-inner-voice of a 15 year old boy whose optimism and enthusiasm toward our simple world is contagious, Submarine will have you laughing from the opening.

“I’m not mad on confident people. I can’t imagine myself ever making the Bon Jovi story.”

“in this film you won’t find a cross-dressing Ken doll, or wise-cracking, leery sidekick”

This film wants to be as deep as each and every character we encounter

Using a mix of archive news footage, home movies and Sebastian’s own narration, the film was meant to be a humble and personal portrayal of Columbia’s political history.