Skip to main content

Month: September 2011

The Calvin and Hobbes collections you need

Written by Stephen Jones on . Posted in Books.

Calvin and Hobbes ran in newspapers from 1985 – 1995 and in that time Bill Watterson churned out no small amount of strips, both singular jokes and lengthy stories. Here are the main collections in order of their release. If you see other books called ‘The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes’ or ‘The Essential Calvin and Hobbes’ or something, I wouldn’t bother – they’re just compilations of these originals.

Calvin and Hobbes (1987)

Probably the weakest one, Watterson hadn’t quite found his feet at this point and some of the strips are clearly failed pilots for ideas. Still bloody good by normal standards though.

Something Under the Bed is Drooling (1988)

The drawings still look a bit ill-defined here but the jokes are much sharper and more satirical.

Yukon Ho! (1989)

My personal fave, the story of Calvin’s seceding from his family to the Yukon is side-splitting.

Weirdos from Another Planet (1990)

Features the only ever appearance of Uncle Max, and he’s badly missed after this.

The Revenge of the Baby-Sat (1991)

The first to make a big deal of Calvin’s hated baby-sitter Rosalyn, and the opinion poll jokes come hard and fast too.

Scientific Progress Goes “Boink” (1991)

One of the funniest, this one doesn’t put a foot wrong.

Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons (1992)

According to Calvin, what’s the moral of this book? ‘Snow goons are bad news.’ That should be applicable in other areas of life then.

The Days Are Just Packed (1993)

The first ‘big’ book, colour rains gloriously down upon these strips for the first time.

Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat (1994)

Probably has the best cover of the lot.

There’s Treasure Everywhere (1995)

Watterson really got on the ball with Calvin’s imaginary alter-egos in this one. Brilliant stuff.

It’s a Magical World (1995)

A sparkling ending to the series, with a final panel that really tugs at the ol’ heartstrings.

Profile: Bill Watterson

Written by Stephen Jones on . Posted in Books.

There’s a pretty good chance you haven’t heard of Calvin and Hobbes, despite its boasts as one of the most popular comic strips of all time. That’s down to the strong-willed character of the creator, Bill Watterson, who refused to sell any of the rights to merchandising. You will never see a legal t-shirt, mug, poster, bed-sheet, figurine, key-ring, sticker, nodding doll, chess set, video game or anything else like that at any gurning merchant’s novelty trading post you might happen to find yourself in. Watterson realised that this would cheapen his carefully crafted characters, and heroically turned down wads and wads of cash to preserve their purity. What a guy.

Watterson spent a lot of his cartoon scribbling days battling with newspapers to get comic strips the space, respect and recognition they deserved. Editors would fob him off with three equally sized panels if he was lucky, but Watterson knew that the most potent, challenging, and concisely intellectual points could be made through the medium of the comic, if only he was allowed more freedom in his drawing. He attacked the idea that comics were a vacuous and shallow art form, and questioned who had the right to define the line between ‘high’ and ‘low’ art. This notion is frequently satirized in Calvin and Hobbes (see the example below).

It’s notoriously difficult to get an interview with Watterson. He refuses to see any journalists and has moved house on several occasions after the locations had been revealed. He is a positively elusive creature but you can learn a lot about him just by reading Calvin and Hobbes, which he has said is, character-wise anyway, semi-autobiographical.

Undergraduates second most vulnerable to meningitis

Written by Joe Sandler Clarke on . Posted in News.

Health experts are warning British students that their lifestyle makes them more susceptible to contracting meningitis, in a bid to raise awareness about the infection.

The government’s Health Protection Agency (HPA) has warned that the typical student lifestyle makes undergraduates the second most vulnerable group in society, after children under five in terms of contracting the infection.

Dr Mary Ramsay, head of the HPA’s immunisation department, said, “University bars and campuses where lots of students are in close proximity is an ideal place for bacteria and viruses to spread which is why we may see more outbreaks of these infections in this environment.”

The HPA will publish a leaflet describing the symptoms of the illness and offering advice about how to reduce the risk of catching it. The leaflet warns students of signs including fever, severe headaches, neck stiffness, seizures, vomiting and a dislike of bright lights. “Early treatment of meningitis is essential to save lives,” the leaflet reads.

The Students’ Union (UMSU) Welfare Officer, Hannah Paterson, encouraged students to look out for friends and house mates to check for signs of the infection. She said that people should be aware that many of the symptoms of meningitis are similar to being hungover.

She said, “Anyone who is worried that they may have contracted meningitis can visit their GP or call NHS direct. More information about the infection, including details of the symptoms, can be found in the Students’ Union.”

Businessman arrested after killing suspected intruder

Written by Mancunion on . Posted in News.

A businessman has been arrested for killing a suspected intruder in his Stockport home.

Vincent Cooke, 39, stabbed alleged intruder Raymond Jacob on the premises of his £500,000 house in Bramhall, an affluent area of Greater Manchester.

A second man, aged 33, has been arrested on suspicion of aggravated burglary after fleeing from the property.

Police arrived at the house, where Mr Cooke’s family have lived for six years, at 8pm on Saturday 17th September. They found Mr Jacob with knife wounds.

Greater Manchester Police said, “He was given first aid by paramedics and responding officers but died a short time afterwards.”

This is the third incident of its kind in Greater Manchester since June, raising questions over Tory-led plans to relax laws on self-defense in the home.

In June this year, Peter Flanagan, 59 avoided charges when he stabbed an intruder to death in Salford. And last week The Mancunion reported that Cecil Coley, 72, was freed without charge after stabbing a burglar in his Old Trafford shop.

Mr Cooke was relaxing when he heard a knock at the door. He met Mr Jacob at the threshold and a struggle took place.

Mr Jacob fell to the ground and was fatally injured. The second intruder fled and moments later, Mr Cooke’s wife Karen, 35 and their 12-year-old son arrived to the sight of a man lying fatally wounded outside their home.

The prime minister David Cameron has recently promised a new justice bill, which, he says, will “put beyond doubt that home owners and small shopkeepers who use reasonable force to defend themselves or their properties will not be prosecuted.”

The justice secretary Ken Clarke, speaking after the government announced plans to change the law on self-defence in the home, said, “It’s quite obvious that people are entitled to use whatever force is necessary to protect themselves and their homes.

“We will make it quite clear you can hit the burglar with the poker if he’s in the house and you have a perfect defence when you do so.”

Greater Manchester police have said they will examine whether the two men were known to Mr Cooke.

Sources close to him said last weekend that he is an “upstanding family man who was protecting his property and fearful for his family’s safety”.

Friends and relatives of Mr Jacobs laid flowers outside the house the day after his death. A tribute from his mother read, “To my baby boy who will always be my baby boy. I will miss you, but never stop loving you. Mum.”

A post on Mr Jacob’s Facebook page reads, “When God took you he took a star so shine bright up there Ray. You’ll never be forgotten.”

Mr Cooke is on bail until October 17.

What could possibly go wrong?

Written by Richard Crook on . Posted in Features.

If you’re feeling a bit nervous right now, there is really no need to be. In fact, you should be feeling pretty smug. You’re at a fantastic University, you’ve moved to a vibrant and exciting city and, unlike the year behind you, your entire financial life won’t be forever undermined by the monstrous £9,000 annual debt. You will love the time you spend here, rain or shine. Mostly rain admittedly.

But for those of you still a little anxious about the coming days, weeks and months, I’m going to try and ease those nerves with some advice drawn from my own calamitous experiences. The point is: whatever could go wrong is never as bad as it seems at the time.

To start this, let me take you back a year with one embarrassing story of mine that took place during Freshe- sorry, ‘Welcome Week’.

On my second day at Manchester, having noted down the wrong room for an induction, I attended a post-grad sociology seminar. I managed to arrive at this wrong seminar late. So, the tutor had already started when I sat down and I slowly realised my mistake. But with my stupidity matched only by pride, I just sat frozen, unable to leave and beginning to feel like Mr. Bean.

I desperately looked around for a way out- a fire exit or an open window maybe. Time passed and all rationality left me. It was the worst thing that had happened to anyone ever. My now frantic eyes caught those of the tutor. Shit. She asked me, in front of everyone, to rate the supervisor I’d been allocated the previous year. What could I do? She had seen me nodding along to what she was saying. I was in too deep. I cleared my throat and pondered over the performance of my imaginary supervisor. I gave him a 4 out of 5.

But she wasn’t done. Then she asked what it was about him that impressed me. “Organised and approachable” I blurted out. Well, you can’t argue with that. There aren’t many jobs that prefer disorganisation and hostility. Ok, so I blagged that. But then the tutor split us into groups to collect ideas. It had finally gone to far. 15 minutes too late, with three smiling sociologists staring wide-eyed and waiting for my thoughts on their discussion, I stood up and simply walked out with my head held high. Ok, it may have been a brisk walk. With a hint of a short run. And I don’t even do sociology.

There is a point to that humiliating story. While this edition of The Mancunion will be filled with some great advice on how to make the most of everything, I don’t feel I am any expert on getting it right. So my initial concept, to tell you about cool places to go and the importance of being yourself etc. etc. is now being thrown away in favour of a “it really doesn’t matter if you screw things up” theme inspired by some of my own mistakes.

Control the purse strings

Avoid rash purchases. When I got all that cash suddenly in my student account, I spent £80 on a pair of Adidas limited edition Chewbacca trainers, complete with wookie fur… Ok that’s a bad example for a rash purchase; everyone knows those things are an obvious babe magnet.

For most of us though, the student loan will be the first time you will have access to that much free (sort of…) money in one go. But student loans do have to go a long way. Save money pre-drinking. Make your own lunch instead of going for the ever-enticing £5 Dominos deal. Or share stuff with your flatmates. And by ‘share’ I mean mooch off. You won’t need 6 sets of pots and pans, so see what you can get away with using. And I know it’s tempting, with all that money now available, to go straight to ASOS.com and convince yourself that, because its been reduced from £150 to £100, you are actually up £50. But you’re not. Believe me, you’re not. Overdrafts can only be extended so much.

Keep it all organised

Make sure your stuff is well coordinated and safe. I thought I didn’t need a keychain, which was just plain stupid.  I quickly lost it at a club and spent £40 replacing it the next day. Of course being a massive idiot, I decided I still didn’t need a keychain and went to Squirrels bar that night, where I lost it for a second time in 2 days. With the one available replacement gone, I spent the week with an unlocked room, where my flatmates hilariously turned every single thing upside down. An unlocked room seems translate into “group space to play FIFA and Call of Duty”, where you come home to find your Kettle chips raided (not a sustainable choice of crisps on a student loan even without theft) by a man with a seemingly endless appetite. This advice goes for your notes too. I can tell you from experience, losing all your lecture notes two weeks before an exam makes revision a complete bitch.

Life and soul of the party, not live entertainment.

Get completely ‘MC hammered’ by all means but just try not to be the worst, or unshakable nicknames may be bestowed upon you. Residents in my halls were quick to do this last year with one exceptionally drunk girl, resulting in her being given an almost mythical status for drinking. Show signs of losing self-control before everyone else and you will be targeted during drinking games. Stand back a bit until others are beyond the point of return and you won’t end up having to explain, like a peckish friend of mine did, why you’re buttering a folded tea towel for a post-nightout sandwich.  But, if you are one of the ‘usual suspects’ back home: relax, most people will make idiots of themselves and as such, no one is judged. Just mocked profusely.

Ignore your old reservations

For example, I’ve always been a fan of the football game Pro Evolution Soccer. But in university halls, everyone seems to play FIFA. People assume Pro Evo players are a socially odd breed who skype their cats. I guess everyone just tired of playing Merseyside Blue Vs Teesside and playing Roberto Larcos at the back for Brazil. I took the plunge, moved to FIFA and never looked back. Put aside misgivings and be open to anything. You may be raising your eyebrows to that inane example, but jumping ship was a painful decision.

Other bits of info

Ok, the advice I’ve dished out is probably a bit of a given to more sensible, organised folk. But there are some other small ways in which you will find yourself re-thinking a few assumptions, finding a few new habits and taking a fresh approach.

For instance, when it comes to clubs this week try and buy your tickets in advance and get to the desired venue by 11 at the absolute latest to avoid ‘one-in-one-out’ queuing.

Also, check out the city early on by having a wander, it makes it seem far less daunting once you get to know the place. Stagecoach bus passes are worth investing in, too. Anyone that tells you, “I’m just going to walk, it’s better for you” has obviously never lived in Manchester in January and God will reward their healthy smugness accordingly.

Finally, lecturers will tell you time and time again this week that Wikipedia is the root of all evil, the web-spawn of Satan. It isn’t. While I would never reference it in an essay, Wikipedia can usually give you a decent overview and often gives some good links to other, more respected sources. Lets be honest, Wikipedia has taken us all this far. Don’t let lecturers panic you into thinking you’re now on your own.

Hopefully, you can see that if a buffoon who pretends to be a sociology post-grad can get used to the overwhelming surroundings and tricky essays, then you will have no problem. The important thing to remember when reading this is that, despite feeling like I was making endless calamities, I’m still here. You’re unlikely to make or break lifelong friendships or ruin your degree in week one.

On second thoughts, the only real way of avoiding a shallow and lonely university experience is to come and write with me for the features section. Best unbiased piece of advice I can give you. So get in touch.

Reshaping Manchester

Written by Andrew Campbell on . Posted in Opinion.

The Boundary Commission’s report considering the government’s controversial proposal to reduce the number of parliamentary seats in the UK has suggested significant changes to the way in which Manchester is represented in Parliament – and raises fundamental questions of local identity.

Under the proposals, which are due to come into effect in 2015, the number of MPs in the House of Commons will be reduced from 650 to 600, with the North West losing seven MPs. The report has been criticised for ignoring the boundaries of local communities in Manchester, with new constituencies cutting across areas with different needs and distinctive identities.

In the north of Manchester, a considerable part of what presently falls into the constituency of Salford (a seat currently held by former Labour Cabinet Minister Hazel Blears) would become part of a re-jigged Manchester Central constituency. The Salford Quays and MediaCity area, an iconic symbol of Salford’s regeneration, as well as Salford Cathedral and University of Salford, would all be subsumed into the new constituency. The remainder of the current Salford constituency would become part of a new Swinton constituency. Salford is a city with a proud identity and a rich political heritage; these proposals show absolutely no regard for this salient fact.

Meanwhile, in the south, the marginal seat of Manchester Withington will move northwards to take in parts of Manchester Gorton, including Fallowfield, losing the two Didsbury wards to Wythenshawe. The current Withington constituency includes several of Manchester’s most affluent areas, such as The Didsburys, Chorlton and Withington Village. Under the report’s proposals, though, both Withington and Wythenshawe will have a more mixed demographic – but surely the needs of constituents are going to be different depending on their divergent circumstances?

Having constituencies with broadly similar demographics has clear advantages, such as enabling elected representatives to provide effective representation tailored according to the needs and levels of support that their constituents require. The Boundary Commission’s proposals clearly do not take this into account, either.

The report, commissioned by the government under the pretext of cost cutting, has understandably attracted accusations of gerrymandering. It is certainly true that the government commissioned the report in the knowledge that equalising the size of parliamentary constituencies would almost certainly lead to an advantage for the Conservatives.

The Guardian’s analysis of the report suggested that the Conservatives would only have lost six of the seats they currently hold in England had the last general election been held with the proposed boundaries – with Labour and the Liberal Democrats losing 14 and 10 respectively. When these proposals come before Parliament, will Lib Dem MPs really vote to set themselves at such a disadvantage going into what is already set to be a decidedly tough general election for their party? It would be act of gross masochism if they did.

But if the government proceeds with these proposals it will not only encounter anger from Liberal Democrats. It will also have to face the wrath of voters over the way in which their communities are being redrawn without their consent.

Green party is too white, says Lucas

Written by Mancunion on . Posted in News.

Listen to excerpts from The Mancunion’s interview with Caroline Lucas here

The Green party is too white and must target voters and activists in ethnic communities, its leader, Caroline Lucas, has said.

Speaking to The Mancunion at the Green party conference last weekend, Lucas said, “I absolutely do acknowledge that we need to reach out to ethnic communities. Looking around you can see that this party, as is the case with most political parties [in Britain], is still predominately white, and that is something that we’re very serious about tackling.”

She admitted that the party needs to broaden its appeal to different sections of society but said there is a stereotype that Green party supporters are all “middle class muesli eaters”.

“We often do much better in poorer areas, it’s not the case that we only get our votes in leafy green areas, so I think there’s a bit of a myth out there,” she said.

“Increasingly we’re working with the unions and they are seeing that when it comes to standing up for public services it is actually the Greens that are doing most on that, not Labour and certainly not the Lib Dems.

“One of the very first things the Greens did in Brighton when they got control of the council four months ago was to introduce the living wage for some of the lowest paid workers in the council. I think those policies give the lie to the idea that we are only appealing to a narrow section of society.”

In recent years, the party has made more of an effort to promote its policies on social justice as members have become frustrated with the stereotype that they “only care about trees”.

Lucas also said that the Greens were “very mindful” of the young vote and that the student vote made a “big difference” in helping her to become the first ever Green party MP.

She said a strategic decision has been made to put more resources into the Young Greens, a group which works alongside environmental activists on university campuses to promote the party. Student activism in the party is “crucial and growing” she said.

The Liberal Democrats’ broken manifesto promise on tuition fees has given the Greens a boost by attracting young supporters, she believes.

Last weekend’s conference was held at Sheffield Hallam University, a clear signal that Lucas sees political gains to be made from ailing Lib Dem support.

The David Lynch Foundation

Written by Mancunion on . Posted in Film.

David Lynch is of course most well known for his surrealist films – The Elephant Man, Eraserhead and Mulholland Drive – but many may be unfamiliar with one of his greatest works; his charity, the David Lynch Foundation. It was established in 2005, created by Lynch himself from his belief that “every child should have one class period a day to dive within himself and experience the field of silence.” In an age where celebrities often use charities to save the current, trendiest animal it is refreshing to see Lynch tackle something so unspoken about.

Perhaps it would be accurate to describe his as a surrealist charity, and certainly its awareness video at Bestival (the David Lynch Foundation was Bestival’s ‘charity of choice’) was as surreal as it gets. Meditation may not be on the top of people’s lists when there are pandas to save and cancers to beat, but nonetheless this is a worthwhile cause: seventy percent of students with a mental health issue go untreated and suicide is the number three cause of teenage deaths. The aim of Lynch’s charity is to deal with these staggering statistics by offering meditation as a solution. The concept of the charity, which relies on students volunteering for Transcendental Meditation, is almost as bizarre as the concepts for his films, but it can be quite effective. So, take some time to yourself and relax… it’s what Dave would want.

Broadband: 5000 times faster

Written by Mancunion on . Posted in News, Science & Tech.

The “wonder material” graphene, already the strongest and thinnest known material, could now be used to massively increase the speeds of internet connections.

The first connection using graphene based sensors was developed in 2010 and it transmitted data at 10Gb/s (for comparison, this is 5000 times faster than a typical 2Mb/s home internet connection). As a comparison, with a 2Mb/s connection, you could download a standard DVD in about five hours. You could download the same DVD in only four seconds using a graphene based optical cable. Not bad for something that was only discovered in 2004 using a pencil and some sticky tape.

Fibre optic internet connections send data as light. We then require sensors to detect that light and create electrical signals so the data can be understood by a computer. Basing these sensors on graphene made them quicker to react to the light. They were found to be up to one thousand times faster than traditional sensors. Developing optical cables that use these sensors could increase the amount of data carried to twenty times that of a typical fibre optic connection.

In trials, graphene based sensors received data without error. However, they still had a problem; they were very inefficient. Now, in recent research from a collaboration between the Universities of Manchester and Cambridge, this problem has been overcome.

The previous graphene based light sensors only absorbed a tiny fraction of the light shone on them, so they did not produce strong enough electrical signals. Scientists increased this by attaching very small, metallic structures to the graphene which acted to guide and concentrate the light, resulting in up to a 20-fold increase in the efficiency of the sensors. Researchers believe this could be improved upon with further research.

Faster internet connections are not the only application scientists identified. The light sensors they developed work in much the same way a solar cell would. Graphene based solar cells might generate more power than even the best of current generation solar cells.

Pulsar in the sky with diamonds

Written by Mancunion on . Posted in News, Science & Tech.

Anyone who thought the Hope Diamond was a large gem may have another thing coming. Scientists think they may have found a diamond planet in our galaxy. The discovery of the companion star was made by a team led by Professor Matthew Bailes of Swinburne University of Technology, Australia. The discovery was then followed up by the Lovell radio telescope at Jodrell Bank Observatory, Cheshire. It was due to the observations made at Jodrell Bank that the companion planet was found.A pulsar is an extremely dense, fast spinning body with a strong magnetic field. It emits a beam of radiation which creates a light house effect. The pulse of light emitted from these dead stars has a constant period which gives the star its name. The pulsar orbited by this small planet rotates 10,000 per minute.

From observing the planet, named PSR J1719-1438, researchers were led to believe the star had a small companion planet. Around 70% of pulsars are in a binary system- a system with two bodies orbiting each other- with most companions being a dying, low mass star: a white dwarf. The size of the object orbiting PSR J1719-1438 makes it significant because it is smaller than a white dwarf.

The planet is thought to orbit the pulsar in 130 minutes at a distance of 600,000km. This is similar to the radius of our own sun. With a diameter one fifth the diameter of Earth but a mass greater than Jupiter, the new planet is extremely dense. The distance between the pulsar and planet indicate the body must once have been a white dwarf with most of its matter eaten by the pulsar. It must therefore be composed mostly of carbon and oxygen. Scientists think that the high density of the planet means these elements must be in crystalline form. Crystallised carbon popularly known as diamond.

Before we consider heading over there to mine what could be truly conflict free diamonds, we should remember that it is 4000 light years away. If NASA’s New Horizons spacecraft will reach Pluto in just under 10 years travelling at a speed of 16km/s, it will reach PSR J1719-1438 in 74 million years if travelling at the same speed. Synthetic diamonds suddenly look a lot more attractive.

In the meantime, researchers looking into this unusual binary system are hoping to use the Hubble Space Telescope to get a closer view of the planet and to see whether it really does sparkle like a diamond.

White coats at Downing Street: One year later

Written by Mancunion on . Posted in News, Science & Tech.

Men and women in white coats presented 33,804 signatures to Downing Street a year ago. One year on, has the government listened to what they had to say? With the threat of cuts coming from the coalition government, science had to sit up and take action before the rumoured 35% cuts to science funding were implemented.Last year, the Science is Vital campaign gathered signatures as part of a petition to protect science funding in the UK. Sick of putting up with government cuts to science, Dr. Jennifer Rohn of University College London decided to make her voice- and the voices of scientists, engineers and interested people in the UK- heard. She became the founder and Chair of the Science is Vital campaign.One year on, you would be forgiven for thinking that the campaign was over but this is far from the truth. After someone dared to whisper that science funding might be cut by over a third, there was a general feeling of relief once the budget was released. Whilst a freeze in science funding for the next four years is better than was feared, this still has implications for science in the UK. Once inflation is taken into account, this amounts to a real terms funding cut of 10%. A far cry from the pessimistic predictions of 35%, but hardly beneficial to science.

People at the Science is Vital campaign plan to monitor threats to science in the short term whilst looking towards the General Election to see what they can do to protect science in the UK when the next budget is set.

Interestingly, the campaign looks to have an informal method of campaigning because they believe getting as many working scientists involved is much more powerful. Dr. Rohn calls this the “grassroots” approach.

The campaign is currently working on science careers in the country which started after a meeting with the Rt Hon David Willetts MP, the Minister of State for Universities and Science. This prompted a currently ongoing investigation into the structure of science careers. After over 400 responses in under 24 hours, the opinions of scientists in the UK became obvious. According to Dr. Rohn, “the underlying message is clear: the scientific career structure is not fit for purpose and there is a real case to be made for examining how we can make it fairer and more supportive.”

A cut to science funding has the immediate effect of putting pressure on career prospects, availability of permanent positions and the salary of people in the science industry. In the long term, it can affect the reputation of universities.

Outside universities, there must be confidence in science industries to attract investors. A funding cut can undermine this confidence. Considering 30% of our GDP comes from areas heavily involved in science, protecting science funding is in the country’s best interest.

Science is Vital is determined to persevere in the campaign to protect science funding in the UK. With the 2013 spending review coming up, the campaign will continue to pressure the government to protect the interests of this country by maintaining investment in science.

2011 Winter preview

Written by Mancunion on . Posted in Film.

After a summer of the usual action blockbuster variety, here’s a brief look at four more eye catching titles coming out in the next few months:

 

Paranormal Activity 3 (21st October)

Guess what? It’s a prequel! (Why is the third film always a prequel?) We’re taken back to the childhood of the protagonists from the second movie, so expect lots of irritating kids shitting their pants when a light bulb starts ‘terrifyingly’ switching on and off.

 

Anonymous (28th October)

A film about Shakespeare in which it turns out our pre-eminent playwright was actually a mere actor, used as cover by a mysterious aristo (Rhys Ifans) who wants to keep his name out of the limelight. ‘Sacrilege!’ I hear you cry…well perhaps, but the cast is wonderful and Roland Emmerich has a decent track record for enjoyable (and brainless) flicks like The Day After Tomorrow and Independence Day.

 

Hugo (2nd December)

A new film by perhaps America’s greatest living director: Martin Scorsese. I know what you’re thinking, ‘It’s about guns, or Mafioso or death.’ Well you’re wrong. Turns out this is a family movie about an orphan in 1930s Paris. Interesting.

 

The Iron Lady (January 12th)

Politics students and raving Thatcherites rejoice!  Finally a biopic about the forever controversial and divisive PM. Time will tell what stance this film will take politically, if any at all. Meryl Streep plays Thatcher, and judging by the trailer, she seems to have nailed the accent and mannerisms superbly.

Preview: Tintin: Secret of the Unicorn

Written by Mancunion on . Posted in Film.

When you were a kid, did you ever wonder if the toys you played with or the books you read would one day become multi-million dollar blockbusters? Like every other 6 year old, I was certain of it. But after sitting on my bed, munching popcorn and laughing at Michael Bay for his atrocious Transformers films, I was amazed to see a Tintin trailer which looked absolutely bloody marvellous.

It’s based on three of the books which ran a direct story: The Crab with the Golden Claws, The Secret of the Unicorn and Red Rackham’s Treasure. Joyfully, these are probably the best books in the whole set, bar perhaps Tintin in Tibet. After Tintin buys a model boat at a market, he discovers within it a map to hidden treasure. He sets off with that old blisterin’ barnacle, Captain Haddock (who has quite reasonably been made Scottish for the film) and his faithful dog Snowy to find it. But they’re not the only ones looking…

A lot of exciting things happened in Tintin and there were some nasty moments (the villains being dragged to Hell at the end of Tintin and the Broken Ear did nothing for my sleeping pattern as a young’un) but I don’t remember it ever being as crazily riotous as this looks! Planes no-one can fly, quad-bikes with rocket launchers, jumping out of windows onto moving vehicles, lighting fires in a boat. They don’t even care! I’m ecstatic Spielberg got his mits on this.

Racism in the living room

Written by Mancunion on . Posted in Opinion.

It’s a sensible assumption that many who read this have shared the experience of occasionally being obliged to hang out with mid-level wankers, whether here in Manchester, or nearer to home, wherever that may be. Some of you will also be (like me) of mixed-race descent but without any blatant marker of that fact.

The two in combination can sometimes land you in somewhat awkward situations; situations which might be avoided by those with more prominently non-white features. The most that can be said for such events is that they provide a little unwelcome insight into the racist mind (and not a very valuable one, as Mein Kampf is readily available on the internet), and that they occasionally, if you’re lucky, give you the opportunity to change someone’s nasty views.

I was in the home of a friend of mine. Also present was the father of my friend’s niece, we’ll call him Mr. Bloggs. The (Indian) Commonwealth Games were on TV.

Mr Bloggs: “F**king P**is, I just don’t like them”.

Silence.

My friend: “Err, Paul’s, like, half Indian”.

This is not technically true. But for the purposes of somebody suggesting that I, or half of my family, or a good proportion of the world’s population, are inferior to someone who gives the impression of a fuckwitted chimpanzee on the basis of race, I’ll let it slide – for the record, in my farraginous mix of genetic material, probably something like a quarter originates from the Indian subcontinent. Also, Pakistanis are not Indian, but I somehow doubt this guy knows or cares.

More silence. Mr Bloggs: “Well. What can you say?”

Indeed. At least he had the decency to look slightly embarrassed.

I haven’t got the time or energy for engaging every racist I encounter in earnest argument using things like facts and philosophy, mostly for the reason that those things don’t work once somebody reaches the age of twelve and still holds racist views. Don’t believe me? Find a racist and try to initiate a rational debate. Very rarely is it possible to get anywhere but back where you started. (Although the effort, though often doomed, is valuable, and I don’t wish to devalue anyone’s efforts in that direction.)

This, instead, is how I decided to respond:

“That’s all right – F**king P**is; coming over here and fucking our mums”.

I think the irony was lost on him, but everybody else was laughing.

Here’s the thing: although I’d rather not be, I’m used to racists; I’m sure I’m not alone in that.  I find it hard to be incredibly angry at fundamentally (mostly) decent people, and don’t hurt anyone for this kind of low-level racism. This brand of racism is just the consequence of willful ignorance and an almost scary level of dumb stupidity – chuck in a little bit of ‘what my dad told me once’ and ‘what all the boys in the pub say’ and the desperate desire to have your thinking (such as it is) left unquestioned – and there you have it; the typical ‘light’ racist. Never mind this guy’s twisted justification that he “used to live next to an Indian restaurant and it was well dirty” – maybe it was, but if we’re going to judge a whole race on the basis of the actions of a few then I can regard white people as ignorant bigots without the ability to conduct basic reason or even keep their foolish prejudices to themselves.

Despite what I’ve said about this guy I can’t really bring myself to hate him. There’s a bittersweet pleasure in righteous offense, but all I can genuinely muster is pity and a sense of resignation – maybe not the most moral reaction but still the most genuine one I can relate. Perhaps I’m not Indian enough, or haven’t been on the receiving end of enough serious racism, to be really offended. Nevertheless, silencing someone temporarily with argument doesn’t achieve much if they just go back to the same kind of talk when you leave. It’s my maybe foolishly optimistic hope that by using humour, and not getting overly offended, I made just a little impact on this guy’s mind; if such a thing can be said to exist. And, in my opinion, that’s the best you can hope to achieve.

Five favourite watering holes

Written by Mancunion on . Posted in Food & Drink.

Hula Tiki

Head to almost any bar in the Northern Quarter if you want a damn good cocktail, but do try to catch the last moments of summer at Hula Tiki, the Hawaiian themed bar. With hula hoops (not the crisps), a wealth of rum, cocktails set on fire and lamps made of puffer fish, what more could you want? It’s worth forking out the dollar to see what Manchester has to offer.

Font (Fallowfield and Oxford Road)

If you ever owe your mates a round, go to Font, with over 20 cocktails from as little as £2. Sip on a Sailor Jerry Mojito or a cream-topped Mudslide, a Tiger Beer (2 for 1!) or an admirable array of other lagers and bitters. The food deserves a nod of the head, the sofas are comfy. I’ve even heard that you can even play Pro-Evo for free in the Oxford Road branch.

Kyoto Lounge

To experience the geeky brilliance of a gaming bar, head to Kyoto Lounge. Their extensive range of games includes COD, Street Fighter, Gran Turismo, Fifa, Guitar Hero – you name it. Your inner child will never complain again, especially seeing as there’s a create-your-own milkshake bar too.

Ram and Shackle

With its rugged charm and dingy wall decor, Ram and Shackle is a personal favourite. It’s tucked away at the southern end of Fallowfield, with cheap drinks, lots of rooms to explore and places to hide. They host live bands, a weekly open mic and play many a good tune. Treat yourself to an Irish coffee in the winter.

Trof (Northern Quarter, Deaf Institute on Oxford Road, Fallowfield)

Trof serves some of the best food in town, particularly their scrumptious Sunday lunch. The vibe is always charming and it helps that they do a fine cocktail and have bounteous supplies of baked goods. Deaf’s genre-spanning club nights are a hit with the kids.

 

The saga begins

Written by Mancunion on . Posted in Opinion.

Welcome to university on rails. A simple story of how clichéd your experience will be, three years full to the brim with stereotypical student escapades of self-experimentation and free-thinking.

The First Year

A goodbye will mark the beginning of your entrapment in higher education. Mum will sobbingly close your new bedroom’s door as Dad puts on the stern grimace that says “don’t fuck this up, you aren’t living with us once you graduate”. Left alone for the first time in your life, you will do what any intelligently designed being would – get pissed on cheap booze and blitheringly try to invite people to your flat for a party.

Lectures will start and you will be confronted with the choice of either choosing to study for the degree that a year ago you thought “looked sort of interesting” or to sod that and enjoy the seemingly non-stop party lifestyle filled with wonders such as “the ring of fire”.

You will probably meet some amazing people, or at least people who profess how amazing they are. The tales of their life experiences will be enviable, although probably mostly fabricated. To look intelligent you will say you’ve heard of books by authors with vowel-less names, desperately maintaining your lies by reading the synopsis on wikipedia. When having a ‘cotch sesh’ with your new friends, your music collection will come under scrutiny, to which you will be betray any individuality you may have and inform the critics that “yeah, I never listen to that shit any more”.

There is even a chance that you may meet someone who, through some possible distortion of reality, finds you attractive. It will be just like those drearily rose-tinted films based in universities: you’ll be slightly cautious and naive, but then they’ll open your mind to experimentation and reveal you to yourself. Or, you’ll occasionally spot each other at the kebab shop and then go back and shag.

Then the whole of your year as a fresher will be gone quicker than you can make a pot noodle. What awaits you next is the dark middle chapter.

Second Year

“I’m going to get involved in everything”, is the general tone of second year. You are now familiar with how this university thing works and are prepared to explore as much as what’s on offer as possible. Of course, you will do none of this.

The first thing to hamper your idyllic reinvention is your new house. This is most likely the first property you’ve ever selected for renting and perhaps you hadn’t got the eye for detail yet. The initial deal clencher that was the basement now turns out to be a dark, damp mess filled with what appears to be the remnants of some form of cult activities; and the rest of the house stinks like soggy flannels and dog biscuits.

Nevertheless, you endeavour to throw a party! It’s going to be like skins and american pie got together a spewed out a bastard child of narcotics, beer kegs and people dancing in their underwear. However, what you most likely to end up with instead is a room full of DJs and a hallway of people queuing for the loo.

Third Year

If there was ever a time where you were going to have to work, this would be it. You have now decided that you’ve had enough of trying to relive the freshers year magic. Your liver is now a black lump of compost and you will find yourself sweaty, tired and entirely non-functional the morning after just two pints at the pub.

You can barely look at a fresher without pondering your own wasted existed. You are over the hill and your time here is almost up. All those things you said you would do at university are distant memories and you just want to get your degree and get out of here. Maybe you’ll finally get to go on that journey around the world, see chant with some monks and spend a season teaching to kids with chicken pox to ski.

Most likely though will be you turning up back home (to your parents delight) and spend a few fruitless years trying to find a dream job before realising your real place in society and settling for a beige office and a life of admin.

***

The Queen of Hearts has finally abdicated and been replaced by an inspired collection of numbers. ‘256’ is the new dive hole for Fallowfield residents and is sure to succeed just by being closer to Owens Park than vodka revs.

They appeared to have been doing lots of renovation work over the summer, but have remarkably been able to recreate it almost exactly how it was before. Of course the old furniture has gone and been replaced with brand new, gleaming white tables and chairs – ready to for a finishing coat of sticky vodbull.

I was fortunate enough to see the first ever puke to grace the newly opened venue. Pink and porridgey, the spew was splayed along the men’s room urinal. The two chirpy members of staff who had to clean it up put on a brave face, knowing that this was just the beginning of the end.

Got an account? Use it, say NatWest

Written by Mancunion on . Posted in News.

Customers who have student accounts with NatWest must now deposit £750 every six months or face charges on their overdrafts.

They will also have to make at least three purchases on card to prove that their student account is their main one.

NatWest initially told customers they would have to deposit at least £750 every three months, but relaxed the rule after complaints from customers.

Some students said they would not be able to make a deposit over the summer break because the last loan repayment of the academic year is in April.

The consumer support company Which? said it had put pressure on NatWest after a student complained on their forum.

The changes take effect from the 5th of October.

Developing new drugs is only half the battle

Written by Mancunion on . Posted in Opinion.

We used the climb up Breithorn as an opportunity to raise awareness for a campaign by Médecins Sans Frontières (Doctors Without Borders) for ‘Access to Essential Medicine’. Apart from providing medical aid to war-torn countries and earthquake victims, the NGO gives pharmaceutical companies a hard time for overpricing drugs in the developing world.

The key problem is that drug patents sold by universities in the UK to pharmaceutical companies last for at least 20 years. This blocks market competition and allows companies to charge extortionate prices. When Bristol Myers Squibb bought the patent for the HIV drug Zerit from Yale University, they charged $15,000 per patient per year.

But after Médecins Sans Frontières ran a campaign against their unfair pricing, they brought the cost down to just $350 per year. This saved thousands of lives.

Scientific research and clinical practice is only half the battle in medicine; we also need to address the huge economic barriers to good health. The Manchester branch of Universities Allied for Essential Medicine (UAEM) says that a staggering one third of the world’s population “lacks regular access to [vital] medicines. As a result, it is estimated that ten million people die every year from preventable or otherwise treatable diseases.”

The Universities of Oxford and Edinburgh have already thrown out the patent system and allowed the drugs they develop to be produced by any company anywhere in the world. This encourages market competition and means that prices drop to levels that people in developing countries can afford. This is an essential move forward that Manchester University needs to be a part of.

Khalil Secker is a second year medical student.

Preview: Manchester Literature Festival 10th – 23rd October

Written by Stephen Jones on . Posted in Books.

Famous for its eclectic and numerous institutions, the presence of some of the most renowned authors in Britain and, um, loads of people talking about books and stuff over tea, Manchester Literature Festival literally appeals to all ages and there is plenty that will interest students.

For any of you who have just arrived at the university and are doing a Creative Writing degree, I’m afraid our own crème de la crème Martin Amis has fled to other pastures. But don’t reach for the noose just yet, no sir – widely celebrated Irish author Colm Tóibín has taken his place at the university and is dispensing his wisdom at the opening of the festival on 10th October.

Something I’m not going to miss is ‘Crime in a Cold limate’ on 17th October. Scandinavian authors have all come together for a night to discuss the incredibly gripping crime novels that have exploded out of their country in recent years. Anyone who’s partial to a bit of Stieg Larsson or Henning Mankell, or who likes The Killing or the TV adaptation of Wallander (original Swedish version obviously – sod off Kenneth Brannagh) can’t let this little number slip through their fingers.

And remember Anthony Horowitz? He did all those cool Alex Rider books with the gadgets and the flying. Now he’s written a new Sherlock Holmes story that he’s going to talk about on 3rd November – a week or so after the festival ends as a kind of one-off. That might be worth some nostalgia value, and if you didn’t like the whole Robert Downey Jr./ Jude Law thing you can take a punt at this.

There’s so much more than what I’ve just mentioned. I haven’t scraped the surface. I didn’t really even manage to get to the surface. Just have a look on the website. And did I say how cheap all this is? With student discount a lot of the events cost just £3. We’ll be covering this as it happens too, so if anyone wants to go completely free and write a short review of any of the events then look down the page to the ‘Get Involved’ section!