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Month: October 2012

Review: Borderline Vultures

The Weekender 2012

The performance explores the art of communication through ‘immersive and risk-taking theatre’ and ultimately by removing a common language.

The performance took place in a secret abandoned warehouse where we were each given a number and a white lab coat. From then on the rest of the night became a chaotic blur as we were quickly separated and placed individually in rooms. We were quickly greeted by various ‘workers’ who spoke a mixture of unrecognisable languages and we were put to work – obviously any communication proved very difficult! As a result audience members were left to roam confused, intrigued by the huge warehouse and its vibrant workers. I must applaud the creative team who built the ‘set’ as each room was full of fascinating – bizarre objects from old projector films to code breaking puzzles with disturbing messages. It was literally like walking through a fascinating horror!

The atmosphere at times was sinister and always curious with dim lighting, manic sounds of alarms and machinery and the frantic and random interactions with the performers. I particularly enjoyed the single one on one interaction between performer and audience member. The audience clearly enjoyed their active and interactive roles as gossip soon spread of codes and secret messages and possible danger found in the various rooms. And the performers expertly created a sense of urgency and frustration through their struggles to communicate.

However after the build up of a deliciously exciting atmosphere, the performance fell a little flat. It felt like there was a moment of chaos and suddenly the workers were ‘free’ and the performance had ended. The audience were left questioning and slightly frustrated- although the key concept of the performance was to explore the struggles of communication, it was almost cruel to create such an amazing atmosphere and such potential for a gripping storyline and yet provide no action or answers. However I would still put Borderline Vultures as a ‘must see.’

60 seconds with…Manchester Uni Confessions

How did you come up with idea behind MUC?

I have a mate who liked a similar page for Portsmouth and then I went to find the one for Manchester. When I saw that there wasn’t one I just thought I might as well do it myself for a laugh and a bit of fun!

Why do you think the page gained so much popularity so quickly?

I really didn’t expect it to get so popular so quickly. It was really hard to start off but when I got some good confessions in, people were just sharing them and it just spread from there. I guess it’s something people like to read.

Have you come across any problems? 

There haven’t been any problems so far although I am expecting to get a contact soon. I know that I may have to change the profile picture at some point. Just need to get around to it. I can’t really see anything wrong with the page as long as everything stays anonymous. I am very careful about what is shared and if people send in the confession then that’s their choice to do so. I am not saying that I agree with any of them (as funny as some of them are!)

Why do you prefer to stay anonymous?

Just because I don’t want to get myself into any trouble. If I gave away my name then people might ask me to see the messages, become admin etc. As long as only I know the confessions, I will always keep it anonymous (I think it has a bit more mystery that way too).

What’s the funniest thing you’ve received so far?!

That’s a hard one really. If I had to choose one I would have to say the one about fantasizing over Crazy Bus Lady.

It’s got a lot of likes and it cuts straight to the chase. Having said that, I have kept some back in the inbox which are amazing- so look out for them!

If you could sum up the university experience in three words, what would they be?!

I know it’s four words but hey, ‘Work Hard, Play Harder’!

Gadget Candy

Gadgets. We all have them. We’re all dependent upon them (however much we may try to deny it), many of us are addicted, some of us are allergic. Whether glued to your ear, stuck to your hand or always by your side, chances are yours are varied and numerous. But now it’s no longer enough for our high-tech handhelds just to be useful, they’ve become an extension of our wardrobe and they’ve had to work for it. Gone are the days when the only word in the vocabulary of covers and cases was protective. Now it’s common to have numerous gadget guises as well as accessories and add-ons. There are phone cases to make your mobile look like a 90s gameboy, attachments that give you the look and feel of a home phone (I know, I don’t get it either) and even tiny dancing robot speakers. Even the humble memory stick has had a make over! Here are a few gadget fashion picks:

Take inspiration from the recent 90s fashion revival and brighten up your (and everybody else’s) morning bus ride with these statement-making sage green headphones from Urban Outfitters, £50 (see main image)

 

Picture: Urban Outfitters

But if understated is more your thing, try these lightning bolt bud headphones for a quieter outfit quirk. Urban Outfitters, £12.

 

Picture: Topshop

Now if you’re anything like me, in its lifetime your phone will take several daily tumbles, numerous knocks and scrapes, a couple of underwater excursions and possibly the odd furious fling across the room when things really aren’t going your way. Avoid catastrophe with this gorgeous galaxy print case from Topshop, £8.

Picture: Urban Outfitters

Bring your iPad out of its shell with this bold tortoise print cover by J.W. Anderson for Topshop, £19.99.

Picture; Urban Outfitters

As if the dreaded computer cluster queues weren’t encouragement enough to take your laptop into uni: wrap yours up in this lovely geometric case and make a sartorial (and scholarly) statement. Urban Outfitters £18

UoM triumph in thrilling ice-hockey varsity

In the inaugural ice hockey contest, one could be forgiven for expecting a tepid affair.

The two sides on display at Altrincham Ice Rink did not share the same deep-seated rivalry that is associated with the Rugby clubs of our two Universities. Indeed, both teams on the ice were made up of players from the same club, the Manchester Metros.

Former teammates, friends, allies; call them what you want, but this contest was no amiable affair by any stretch of the imagination. As the battle-scarred ice left at the end of the match would testify, ice-hockey is not a sport that does ‘tepid’ well. Instead, we were gifted with a fantastic and frenetic varsity contest that kept on giving and giving, before building to a thrilling, dramatic finale in the last third.

It was the University of Manchester who came out on top. They started in fantastic style, surging to a deserved 3-1 lead in the first third. Pugh scored twice for UoM and Oliver Bayne slotted home for MMU, but it was Ciaran Long who gave the third its champagne moment.

Capitalizing on a mistake from an MMU defender, he flew across the rink towards the MMU goaltender before dummying him brilliantly with an exceptional display of close control and slotting the puck into an empty net. UoM were dominant in the period, and well deserving of their lead.

The same pattern of play continued in the second third, with UoM dominating and MMU attempting to hit them on the counter attack.

Pugh started the third in the same form he displayed in the opening, scoring two goals in quick succession to make it 5-1. MMU pulled one back with Sean Day scoring, taking good advantage of a powerplay. The goal was all MMU had to celebrate from the third, though, with UoM rampant throughout; only a string of excellent saves from Tom McDonald in the MMU goal kept the score at 5-2. Pugh, Long and De’ath in particular were excellent for the boys in purple.

Fast-paced, action packed, dramatic; it was in the final third that the game really took off, displaying all the qualities that are associated with great sport.

MMU, refusing to accept defeat despite their three-goal deficit, came out for the final period of play looking like a different side.

Playing some fast and sharp hockey, they stormed through the UoM defence to score two goals quickly through Adrian Rajkumar and Sean Day. In a fierce and frenetic period of play, Pugh was sin binned for 2 minutes for slashing and Bayne, arguably MMU’s standout player, immediately took advantage by smashing in the equalizer for MMU. The game was well and truly on.

Completely against the run of play, UoM managed to regain the lead with a sharp counter-attack. By now, the game had an excellent pace to it; pulsating, vibrant and frantic, the match was showing off all the qualities of ice hockey to the spectators at Altrincham Ice Rink. Alongside the match itself, the atmosphere was building to a thrilling crescendo; every tackle or shot was accompanied with full-blooded cheers from the crowd, all of whom were fully engaged in the breathtaking spectacle unfolding before their eyes.

MMU rallied around the tremendous noise and managed to equalize quickly. What followed was a frantic period of hockey, with both sides exchaning blows in quick succession, eventually tieing the score at 7-7.

The outstanding Ciaran Long then came crashing in to score what would be the winner for UoM, following on from a sharp passage of play. The goal was enough and, helped by a string of fantastic saves from their goaltender at the death, UoM held out to win the game.

This was a truly fantastic tie between two evenly matched teams. UoM looked well in control in the opening two thirds of the match, but MMU responded brilliantly, taking the game to UoM with an astonishing fight back in the final third. UoM held out to win, but both teams should be credited for making this thrilling Varsity one to remember.

Top 5: Bags for University

1) Aztec Rucksack – Urban Outfitters: £45

Increasingly seen around campus, rucksacks have made a stylish come back. Comfortable and practical, it’s easy to understand their popularity. Adding the ever-fashionable Aztec design, this rucksack easily makes the top 5.

 

Photo: Topshop.co.uk

2) Khaki Holdall – Topshop: £45

With a choice of long or short strap and a nifty separate compartment for a laptop, this khaki holdall is a girl’s more stylised alternative to a briefcase.

 

Photo: hm.com

3) Suede effect Shopper Tote – H&M: £14.99

Classic and simple, this leather and suede effect shopper provides a cheaper alternative than many other high street products. Available in pink, khaki and black, you cant go wrong.

 

Photo: Zara.co.uk

4) Leopard-print Shopper – Zara: £59.99

Wanting something a bit more glamorous? This leopard print effect shopper bag provides practicality and something a bit quirkier than the average shopper. For those who would prefer a simpler design, the plain black may be a more suitable alternative.

 

Photo: Urban Outfitters

5) Leather Satchel – Urban Outfitters: £45

Leather satchel bags are the perfect old school accessory. Although rarely seen under £100, Urban Outfitters offers this vintage style replica. Large enough to carry folders and its front pockets and easy lock fastening are perfect for keeping your essentials safe.

 

Watches: A Timeless Accessory

When you think of accessories your mind may drift towards the more feminine range – necklaces, bracelets etc. Those aside, there isn’t a huge variety or choice in fashionable jewellery for men. However, watches are a safe and timeless classic for any gentleman.

What I want to do is find a range of watches suitable for a student budget available around Manchester, which will also stand the test of time. So here’s my breakdown:

Photo: Topshop
Rubz Watches: 4 for £10 – TOPMAN online
For the very cheap and cheerful these watches come in at just £2.50 each and come in some very… interesting colours. Whether it’s Warehouse, BOP or just the gym, these come at a great piece to act as a back up for your nicer watch that you don’t want destroyed along with your liver and pre-alcohol rationality.
Photo: urbanoutfitters.co.uk
Casio Silver Retro Digital Watch: £28 – Urban Outfitters
Everyone has one, so why shouldn’t you? This is a classic Casio design, a little less bling than it’s gold counterpart and a backlight too, so even in the dingiest parts of Manchester you’ll know how long it is until that dreaded 9am.
Photo: Swatch
Swatch New Gent Collection, Brown Rebel: £44.50 – Swatch
Swatch. A classic brand that always showcases unique designs. Their watches all come with a 2 year warranty and are very reasonable despite their label. This watch also features a day and date function; useful for any student who’s not entirely sure what’s going on around them in this bubble we call university.
Photo: Fossil
Roman Leather Watch (Brown): £85 – Fossil
If you feel like spending a bit more or have been saving for a bit and don’t want to breach the £100 marker, this is a very classic, professional watch, with a symmetrical and neat design that is good for both casual and formal occasions.
Photo: House of Fraser
Mondaine Evo Big Date Mens Watch: £165 – House of Fraser
Whether it’s your birthday or loan day and you want to splash out, Mondaine are my personal favourite for watches. Their very classic and simple look is taken from the iconic railway time pieces the company originally made and the style has now also been used by Apple on their new Clocks app in the iOS 6 update for iPad.

On your head, son…

Hats are quite possibly the most difficult accessories to pull off because there are really no rules about them. For example, I can tell you with full confidence that when trying to look smart the colour of your belt should always match that of your shoes. With hats, all rules of the sort go flying out the window. Your hat also has greater definitive abilities than any other accessory you own. For instance, if you want to give the impression that you don’t place to much importance on the way you look, a bright yellow pompom hat will probably do the trick. Or if you want to give the impression that you’re an indie man through and through a well-fitting fedora will do (felt in winter and straw in summer).

When choosing a hat you must either think carefully about it or not think about it at all. Whatever your decision, you must be extremely comfortable with your hat because if you’re not anyone will be able to tell that hats aren’t really your thing and they will immediately assume that you’re going through an identity crisis.

The secret to pulling off any casual hat is to embrace any clash that ensues from its placement on your forehead. Keep it simple, keep it comfortable and most importantly make sure that it is you.

“We got him”: celebrating death isn’t for the faint-hearted, but it is for the American

It’s election week in the U.S. of A. The candidates have smiled, shaken hands and rolled up their sleeves, brought their fist hard down on the podium and blamed the other guy for months now. Campaign activities are telescoping towards the one, decisive day, Tuesday, November 6th. And U.S. publisher Simon & Schuster chose to commemorate this quadrennial event with the paperback release of We Got Him!: A Memoir of the Hunt and Capture of Saddam Hussein, written by retired US army lieutenant colonel, Steve Russell. There are many things that trouble me about this, and most of them coalesce around that exclamation mark.

We Got Him!… chronicles the six months leading up to Saddam Hussein’s capture, from the perspective of Russell and his battalion who were stationed in Tikrit, Saddam’s hometown. The titular phrase is taken from the statement given by US administrator Paul Bremer upon Hussein’s capture, which opened, “Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.” The BBC did not report an exclamation point at the end of this sentence when they published Bremer’s statement in full, which we can perhaps assume was issued as a press release. And yet, there in the book’s title an exclamation mark proudly stands to attention.

The exclamation mark introduces the book from the outset as entertainment, as celebration, and in some ways as propaganda. It sensationalizes an account of a deeply complex, and far from uniformly successful war. It showcases, for your consideration, this one-sided account, written in the format of the incredibly commercially profitable, celebrity ‘memoir’, and encourages its listing by the bookreporter.com as a ‘thriller’. That this account exists in this commercial and entirely profitable state, at all, is concerning.

The publishers’ description of the book, on their website, sets it up it in the wake of Osama bin Laden’s assassination: “When U.S. forces exterminated Osama bin Laden in Pakistan on May 1, 2011, the world cheered not only the death of the 9/11 terrorist mastermind but the unmatched might, skill, and perseverance of America’s military elite.” This language reinforces a hegemonic U.S. world-view, in which America is always the victor. The “unmatched skill and perseverance” of the army, these words belong on propaganda posters.

The popular new US drama, Newsroom, recently previewed a fictional depiction of the moment when Osama’s death was announced, and, indeed, the room clapped and cheered. I did not. And I can imagine few Brits cheering, either. It is not just that I find it distasteful and slightly chilling – cheering death in any form, it is that this cheering only reinforces the tunnel vision and obtuseness that began the Iraq war in the first place. To cheer is to forget that invasion was an arbitrary and rash decision, that it has been messy and unsuccessful process since then. The death of two dangerous men does not change this.

This cheering is of the particular brand of patriotism that defines the U.S., and here reveals itself as a gleeful, vengeful patriotism. It extends to the all-encompassing (self-interested) worldview held by America, that basically goes ‘either you’re with us or you’re against us, and if you’re against us then it is our duty (and our right) to extinguish you’. And it is very much in America’s interests that there are, and remain, high-profile enemies against which patriots can rally; and subsequent mythologies surrounding the ‘extermination’ (as Simon & Schuster so charmingly put it) of these enemies by smiling, apple pie-fed American soldiers. This book is both mythology and the celebration thereof wrapped up in one package.

That the paperback release of We Got Him! comes less than a week before the US general election is no coincidence. As the publisher spins it, Sadam’s capture led directly to the circumstances allowing for Osama’s death, and therefore “opened the door for the most recent and essential victory in the War on Terror”. This is the worst case of history as told by the victors – where the victors aren’t victorious, and the story is political collateral. This release is well-positioned to remind (and gain from reminding) the American public of their superior international position and dominance. It is self-congratulatory and self-fulfilling. When America defines itself through a foreign policy of dominance and violence, this becomes the only role through which it can assert a coherent identity.

President Obama also turned his attention to books this week. In an interview with Rolling Stone magazine, the current president discussed novelist Ayn Rand (of The Fountainhead) and her Salinger-esque appeal to the self-obsession of youth, “…as we get older, we realize that a world in which we’re only thinking about ourselves and not thinking about anybody else…that’s a pretty narrow vision.” However, the President couldn’t resist concluding his answer once more with an attack on his current closest enemy, the Republican Party. In a political system predicated on bi-partisan battles and one-upmanship I see little hope in the near future for America growing up.

Review: ‘Skyfall’

 

After the disappointment of Quantum of Solace, Skyfall represented the ultimate test to see whether Daniel Craig could succeed in creating a Bond to remember.

After watching Sam Mendes’ latest installment of the 007 series, I found myself wondering how he, along with his supporting cast, could have achieved this to much better effect.

Mendes mixes nostalgia with clear signs of progression perfectly.  An abundance of Bond’s classic humour comes through, including nods to the cars and gadgets of previous films, while still bringing us plenty of the new. The wonderfully crafted action sequences and impressive cinematography boasted in the trailers did not disappoint on the big screen; taking us through the beautifully lit parts of Shanghai, to carnage within the tunnels of the London Underground. But it was the characters that make this film the success it is.

Both the reinventions of familiar faces and those making their debut are intriguing and refreshing. We are introduced to a bleach blonde Javier Bardem who brings us the most interesting Bond villain to hit the screen in decades.

Bardem’s Raoul Silva simple desire for revenge, and the extent to which he will go to get it, along with some elaborate analogous speeches and a dodgy jawline, make sure that the Spaniard – in contrast to the cartoonish baddies desperate for world domination of previous films – cements himself amongst the Bond villain greats.

Ben Whishaw as a baby-faced Q, carries promise for the future, while a visit to Bond’s family home where he grew up provides us with a believable and humorous Scottish gamekeeper; likely a not-so-subtle nod towards fan-favourite Sean Connery.

With two gorgeous Bond girls in Naomie Harris and Berenice Marlohe, 007 has ample opportunity to flex his flirtatious muscles, and while we perhaps lack the chance to build an intimate relationship with either woman, this will hardly come as a surprise to bond fans.

The stealer of the show is found in one of the movies’ few familiar faces: ‘M’ (played by Judi Dench). Never before have we seen been treated to an insight into her background and the emotions that run through her relationships with agents. Riddled with regret and a determined sense of duty, M is a character we can’t help but sympathise with, despite her mistakes. Her relationship with Bond is probably the most touching that we have seen 007 form with anyone. And the climax of the film leaves us with a reminder that Bond can move as well as excite us, something that has been missing in the last few features.

Ethical Fashion: What it says on the label?

Have you ever experienced that niggling sense of guilt when you fill your Primark basket full of cheap £5 buys? Not least because you really shouldn’t be spending the last remains of your student loan on two new pairs of leggings and four more tops that you could easily live without. But is that guilt really because you are aware of the outrageous conditions in which these products are made and by loading your wardrobe with cheap clothes, you are participating in the underbelly of the fashion industry? That is the world of sweatshops, of below living standard wages and of the waste that is involved in fast fashion.

Primark’s low prices point to the obvious fact that somewhere down the manufacturing line, most likely right at the bottom, someone is losing out on the income that is rightfully theirs. There are not many high-street retailers, however, who have a clear conscience. Even the Organic and Fair Trade ranges of certain retailers cannot claim to be that much more ethical than their standard counterparts. The Ethical Consumer’s study of the social and environmental records of companies only award New Look Organic Clothing a rating of 10 out of 20, compared to scoring New Look’s normal clothing range 9 out of 20. Sainsbury’s TU Fairtrade clothing is marked as an embarrassing 3 out of 20 whereas Tesco F&F Fairtrade range only scores 2 out of 20. How can we be responsible shoppers when we are presented with information that is not wholly truthful?

More expensive companies are no more innocent. A report by the International Textile Garment and Leader workers Federation, comprising of 83 factories in Indonesia, Sri Lanka and the Philippines, reveals the working conditions of labourers for top high street brands such as Abercrombie & Fitch, Ralph Lauren, GAP, Nike and Forever 21. It was found that on average 10-40 hours of overtime a week was undertaken, workers were subjected to verbal and physical abuse by supervisors and management and not one factory paid a living wage. Furthermore strikes and unions are banned. In less developed countries, where living conditions are so poor and chances of finding a better or even another  job are slim, employers know they can capitalise upon this situation by exploiting as much output from their labourers as possible.

So why don’t high street retailers do more? Whose responsibility is it? Attitudes of ignorance (or is it avoidance of the truth?) will always be more common when our own pockets are running dry. When there is a choice between a £10 jumper and a £45 Fairtrade jumper, the morality of this decision often goes by the wayside. It becomes a question of reasonability. Is it us the consumers who must act, by boycotting certain retailers for their lack of ethical trading? Or is it solely the reasonability of the retailers to support their workers and to promote and create long term improvements in living standards for their labourers? However, with lack of understanding and knowledge on which retailers uphold good standards of pay and labour care, how are we expected to make responsible decisions?

Rain Man(c)

As you pace down the human highway that is Oxford Road, desperately trying to make it to that dreaded lecture on time, you start to feel it. At first you try to ignore it, still in denial that you’re about to be caught out by what feels like an impending hurricane, but the drops are becoming increasingly heavy, and soon it’s a full scale rainstorm. By the time you reach the bus you are soaked to the bone, not to mention the sock. The only thing to do is to squelch your way onwards. It was always going to happen, let’s face it.

However, all is not lost. Fashion now meets functionality, as it appears the comeback of the welly-boot is in full swing. They have heard your cry for beautiful rubber friends (yes, we are still on the topic of wellies…)

 

Picture: wellybootstyle.com

With an overwhelming variety of styles adapted from the most popular shoe trends on the highstreet, there’s something for every personality. From the simple, classic Hunter to the fashionable ‘Wedge-Welly’, via the nostalgic Go-Go boot-inspired wellies by Christopher Ciccone, and the über comfortable quilted styles. The possibilities are endless.

 

Picture: Vivienne Westwood

However, for those of us whose Student Loans can’t quite stretch as far as the likes of Vivienne Westwood, Hunter or Audra Bow to name but a few, online store ‘Love Wellies’, has an endless array of charms, including their own take on designer styles at a fraction of the cost. Furthermore, with fast and free delivery, staying practically fashionable no longer needs to feel like a chore, nor burn a hole in your pocket. Check them out at http://www.lovewellies.com.

Picture: tumblr

If it’s raining you need them. If it’s not raining, you still need them. Such is the country we live in.

The Mark Addy

Past all the new development full of identikit chains in Spinningfields, it is possible to find a true gem: the Mark Addy, named after a Victorian local hero. It seems initially unprepossessing, but once you walk down the iron staircase to the riverside pub, you’ll find an charming room, which was formerly a passengers’ waiting room for boats that plied the river. We sat in a booth and spent a long time looking over the enticing menu – too many delicious options! While we were there, the clientele included everyone from football fans coming for a pint of one of their many ales to shoppers tucking into amazing fish and chips or incredible value doorstop sandwiches.

We started with one of the signatures of the pub, the Manchester Egg, invented by the chef as a take on the eponymous Scotch egg. It is a pickled egg with a black pudding coating, which even my black pudding refusenik companion enjoyed. It was meaty and hearty, but the egg gave a freshness and tanginess that worked really well with the blood sausage. We absolutely loved it.

For our main, we shared a portion of air-dried ham with fig chutney, which was delicious and sweet, and came with really good homemade bread. We also had a portion of buttered clams, including both normal and razor clams in a deliciously rich and salty sauce. We mopped the juices up with the best chips I have eaten all year – cooked in duck fat and served with tarragon butter.

We were pretty full at this point but couldn’t resist finishing off the meal with a glass of red wine and a cheeseboard. It came with four different cheeses: one smoked, one mild and two blue, which my companion found far too strong, and even I couldn’t manage one of. These were served with grapes and three different types of cracker, although the promised chutney never materialised.

We left stuffed and happy, after an amazing meal and an enjoyable two hours looking out over the sunny river. It made a great destination restaurant, but you could just as easily drop in for a sandwich and some of those amazing chips. I know it won’t be long before I’m craving another one of those brilliant Manchester eggs…

 

Rabbit with root vegetables, ham hock and chestnuts

Robert Owen Brown, chef at the Mark Addy, has kindly given us a recipe for this delicious rabbit dish. The rich, meaty flavours are sure to help you tackle the bracing Manchester climate.

Ingredients:

1 wild rabbit, prepared and jointed
2tsp chopped parsley
125g unsalted butter
60g plain flour
400ml chicken stock
200ml dry white wine
175ml double cream
2 sprigs thyme
1 finely diced carrot, onion and stick of celery
Chestnuts
The meat from 1 medium ham hock, cut into small chunks

Method:

Toss the rabbit in the seasoned flour, then gently fry in half the butter until the
meat is sealed. Add the root veg to the pan and cook gently until soft, then add
thyme, ham, chicken stock and white wine. Cook gently until the rabbit is soft
and falling off the bone. Strain off the liquid and bring to the boil. Remove from
the heat, add the cream and reduce further until the sauce coats the back of a
spoon. Season, add back the cooked ingredients, the parsley and remaining butter
together with a handful of chestnuts. Stir well and serve.

The night of the living cheese

A perfectly ripe Camembert? A pungent wedge of Blacksticks Blue? Maybe a hunk of crumbly artisan cheddar? Away! Away with you! Hath thee no imagination? The witching hour is nearly upon us and we must ready ourselves with a board so repulsive, its contents would repel the advance of the Jersey Devil itself. This is no time for meekness, weakness or cheese conformity.

These cheeses, once revered delicacies eaten by the privileged few, now lurk in the dark recesses of the rarest of emporiums. This holiday, however, I have endeavoured to find them and bring them back to the people, in order to restore their ghoulish, ghastly and gastronomic crown as the rankest smelling, most unappetizing textured, most magnificent tasting cheese in all of Western Europe.

The great and good of Manchester rendezvoused on a moonless night, whilst the bare branched trees jerked erratically, tortured by the howling wind. It was on this night that the aforementioned horrors in taste and sensation were finally braved and brought back to life.

The first salvo was into the domain of the Picos de Europa, deep into the mountainous terrain of northern Spain. The Picos Blue is unique amongst its mould infested brethren. The blue content is the highest of any cheese I’ve ever seen – the vein density is remarkable – but unlike Roquefort, it is very dry. The harsh cold climate of the high altitude caves means the cheese has little moisture, and this is compounded by the rasps of blue that are almost brittle if not sharp. Because of the salty Bay of Biscay mist and the part-Goats milk content the cheese has a salty note and thus benefits to be eaten on a slice of apple.

Serving suggestion: a slice of crunchy, sweet apple topped by a hunk of Picos and maybe a walnut for extra luxury.

We then ventured into the lair of the Petit Munster. A lair not to be entered by the faint hearted, indeed a cheese only for the serious enthusiast or connoisseur. The very moist, rusty orange, puck-shaped cheese has its origins in the 7th century, made in a Benedictine monastery, Vosges, in north-east France. The milk curd is handled very little in the cheese making process, and this rawness is reflected in the cheese’s personality. Though salted during the 6-week maturation period, the sodium chloride punch that hits the palate initially is nothing in comparison to the explosion of indescribable power from this cheese.  Its texture resembles a ripe Camembert, but the strength of this cheese means it must only be approached by the very brave or the very foolhardy.

Serving suggestion: a sweet, sticky pitted date balances the saltiness nicely, and a crisp water cracker offers texture and a necessary vehicle for the soft, creamy mass.

Reigning in a little, we hurried onto the mild Mimolette. Various legends surround its creation; I like the story that is was commissioned by Jean-Baptiste Colbert in the 17th century to rival Imperial Holland’s Edam. We selected this specimen because when whole, one would easily mistake for a pumpkin (and even when sliced makes a very convincing double for the autumnal squash). The crust is crumbly and grey because of the live cheese mites eroding the exterior, which adds extra flavour to Mimolette.

Serving suggestions: a young Mimolette is delicate and slightly nutty and can be eaten on its own. Maybe a mildly peppery radish would be a good accompaniment.

Finally, our hopes for a safe landing on this cheese whirlwind of a journey were dashed. The Brunost. When one boils milk, the sugar will eventually caramelise, leaving a heavy, claggy brown whey product. Sold in half brick blocks, this dairy product has a place all on its own in the cheese world. It is for the sweet-toothed cheese fan, as the flavour and texture are very fudgy, mildy cheesy, sweet and firm without being hard.

Serving suggestion: simply a plain cracker should suffice. Simply enjoy the weird and wonderful uniqueness of this cheese without distraction.

The cheeseboard in all of its pungent splendour

I guarantee that presenting a party with these offerings may initially evoke repulsion and rejection. However do not be deterred, for with the correct accompaniments and lashings of Tawny Port, the Headless Horseman’s spectre will be laid to rest as this feast is devoured in high spirits.

 

Escape in a children’s story

I love reading. I always have done. I read because I want to be thrown into another world, interacting with fascinating characters and having adventures that I could never do in reality. Quite simply, a novel to me is an escape. This is why I see no reason to ever stop reading so-called ‘children’s literature’. The biggest adventures of my life have been at through the words of these skilful narrators. I feel too many authors suffer at the hands of demography fascism when in fact their works can easily match and surpass the quality of their ‘adult’-fiction equivalents.

If we turn to the phenomenon that is Harry Potter, books that parents would pick up for themselves after story time, it is clear that the distinction is moot when the story is good enough. So popular were the books with adults that Bloomsbury re-printed the series with special ‘grown-up’ covers. Here’s the crux of it, then, why did the adult versions need different covers? Is it shameful to enjoy a book just because it’s been classed as ‘for children’?

JK Rowling is just the tip of the children’s author iceberg. Anthony Horowitz, Eoin Colfer, Diana Wynne Jones and Phillip Pullman all fill the children’s section shelves with the adventures of your wildest dreams; it seems a shame to forget them simply because their covers are too childish. I have come to the conclusion that books are classed for children simply for their absence of graphic sex scenes. So if that is the kind of ‘adult’ book you’re looking for, you won’t find it in the children’s section (I hope).

This absence, however, doesn’t affect the quality of the writing or story for me. In fact, I’d argue that it improves a story; there are no plot contrivances to make room for romantic detours for the sake of sealing the ‘adult’ label. This often makes stories neater and provides more of an impact. Whereas in the case of the biggest selling adult book of the year, 50 Shades of Grey, messy plot points are cleared out of the way for the real ‘romance’.

My counsel is this: next time you go to the bookshop don’t simply pass by the kids section without a second glance. Lurking beneath those bright or garish covers could be an old favourite or an engaging adventures. It’s a classic case of don’t judge a book by its cover!

Recipe: haunting Halloween cocktails

Shot to the Brain (pictured)

As the name suggests, this one is not so much a cocktail as a shot. A shot-tail, if you will.

Peach schnapps or sambuca
Irish cream liqueur
Grenadine/raspberry purée

Pour the schnapps to fill ¾ of the shot glass. Follow with the Irish cream liqueur by pouring it over the back of a spoon, forming a floating ‘brain’. Finally, gore it up with some ‘blood’: a teaspoon or so of Grenadine or raspberry purée.

Bloody Mary

Who could contemplate Halloween cocktails without this bucket of blood flooding their mind? These are only rough measurements, as with a Bloody Mary it’s all a matter of taste. Everyone’s recipe is different, but this is how I do it.

50ml vodka
150ml tomato juice
½ lemon
Worcester sauce
Tabasco sauce
Salt and pepper

Add the vodka to a highball glass. Top up with the chilled tomato juice, the juice from the lemon, a few sploshes of Worcester sauce and a few of Tabasco. Season with salt and pepper.

As vodka and tomato juice don’t emulsify very well, you’ll need to continuously stir this potion. Tradition is to do this with a celery stick but, as it’s Halloween, it makes sense to use one of those special Halloween cocktail stirrers, which are widely available around this time, and perhaps replace the salt with celery salt so you don’t lose that element. Bloody delicious.

Mar-ghoul-rita

The yellow of the tropical fruit juices and the blue of the citrusy Curaćao combine in this drink to produce a violently green ‘slime’. Don’t let the colour put you off though: this is magical.

25ml tequila (clear)
25ml blue Curaçao
25ml pineapple juice
25ml mango juice

For the glass (optional):

Lemon juice
Salt
Green food colouring

Prepare your margarita glass by wiping a wedge of lemon round the rim before dunking into salt that’s been mixed with a few drops of green food colouring. Place all the drink ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice, shake well and strain into the glass.

Cemetery soda

This fizzy cocktail still packs a punch, but with more mixer it will last you longer so you don’t get your freak on too much – perfect for you lightweight souls out there. And, what’s more, it resembles a swampy graveyard.

50ml rum
125ml Coca Cola
125ml orange juice

Pour the rum and orange juice into the glass, top up with coke and add some ice cubes. Chilling.

 

… An eye-catching garnish

The perfect garnish to any of these cocktails has to be the floating ‘eyeball’: cut a small hole in a lychee or peeled grape, fill with strawberry jam then stick the blueberry into the jam.

Recipe: Halloween baking

Pumpkin scones
Lucy McLean

(Makes about 10 scones, depending on the size of the cutter)

Ingredients:

200g pumpkin
225g self-raising flour
50g butter
2tsp baking powder
50g grated cheddar cheese
Approx 60ml milk
Small handful of thyme or sage, or ½ tsp of ground nutmeg (optional)

Method:

Preheat the oven to 200°C. Cut the pumpkin into chunks and put these chunks in a pan, just covering them with water. Once the water starts to boil, turn the heat down and leave to simmer for 10 minutes, or until the chunks are a mashable texture. Mash the pumpkin chunks.

Using fingertips, rub the butter into the flour and baking powder until the mixture looks like breadcrumbs. Roughly mix the mashed pumpkin into the above mixture. Add the grated cheese at this stage. This is also the point at which to add either the chopped thyme, sage, or ground nutmeg – if you fancy. Add however much milk is required to bring the mixture together into a dough-like consistency.

Lightly knead the dough on a surface sprinkled with flour. Do this for no more than a minute. From a ball shape, roll the dough out with a rolling pin, until it is about 2-3cm thick. Use a cookie cutter to cut out scone shapes, placing these onto greaseproof paper on a baking tray. Brush the scones with milk.

Leave in the oven for around 10-15 minutes. When ready, they should be risen and golden. These make a great Halloween treat, served with either some melted cheese, or just a slither of butter.

Pumpkin brownies (pictured)
Alexandra Williams

Halloween is always inevitably employed as a free pass to overindulge with every variety of sweets, cake or any other good – all of which are likely to leave you with excessive belly ache and vowing never to touch a Wham Bar ever again. Ensure you preserve this tradition by baking these devilishly rich brownies with obligatory Halloween spicy pumpkin twist. They are, indeed, to die for.

Ingredients:

1/2 small pumpkin
250g unsalted butter
200g good quality dark chocolate
85g cocoa powder (sifted)
65g plain flour
1tsp baking powder
350g caster sugar
4 eggs
2 red chillies, deseeded and chopped (optional)

Method:

Cut, peel and roast the pumpkin at 180ºC until soft (about 30-40 minutes, while you prepare the fun chocolate bits). Roast the seeds for a topping if you are feeling adventurous.

Melt the butter and chocolate in a bowl over bowling water. Meanwhile, mix the sugar, cocoa, flour and baking powder in a large bowl. Pour the melted concoction into the flour mixture and thoroughly stir together.

Whisk the eggs in a separate bowl and add to the other ingredients. Beat together until the consistency is very thick and glossy, coming away from the bowl as you lift the wooden spoon through.

Take out the pumpkin and blend until smooth. If you are using the chillies, add to the blended pumpkin now.

Pour the brownie mix into a 25x25cm tin lined with greaseproof paper. Spoon the smooth pumpkin onto the top of the chocolate mix or perhaps pipe in an appropriate Halloween pattern to decorate. Sprinkle on the seeds if you are using them to finish. Bake the brownies for about 25 minutes at 180ºC. Leave to cool until the mix has set and can be cut into squares. Enjoy these glorious squares of chocolate guilt with a scoop or two of classic vanilla ice cream.

 

 

ASOS: A cyber-highstreet alternative to diamonds

ASOS has risen to become the most popular online fashion retailer in the world, surpassing even the likes of Topshop with its extensive array of treats and low price points (price perhaps being a factor in its domination of Topshop). For evidence of this, look no further than the site’s selection of own-brand jewels, which rival any other high-street competitor.

ASOS’s designers clearly have a penchant for big, bold, sparkly jewels, thus making them a brand after my own heart. Accessories, as we have seen this issue, make the outfit, and with a pair of gobstopper earrings or a good-enough-to-eat necklace adorning your garms who needs to make as much of an effort? Especially in the winter where you’re more covered up (hopefully) and wearing darker colours which sometimes scream out for some sparkle. Diamonds may indeed be a girl’s best friend, but before you can afford that friendship, ASOS jewellery provides a much-needed fix.

picture: ASOS

Remember: in this case, more is more and there is no such thing as tacky. The brilliant thing about ASOS jewellery is that even though it usually won’t cost you above 20 quid, it doesn’t look or feel cheaply made (although the longevity of the pieces are not, unfortunately, guaranteed). These earrings are the ideal way to spruce up an evening look, or simply to take the attention away from an unwashed top-bun.

picture: ASOS

These chunky necklaces look amazing with a plain white shirt, or a simple cosy jumper, for a fun, accessible daytime accessory.

picture: ASOS

 

picture: ASOS

Stack as many sparkly, jewelled bracelets onto your arm as is possible to create the look coined by the one and only Man Repeller: ‘The Arm Party’. Once again this is an easy way to spice up a plain, dark outfit or to add an extra edge to something a little more colourful.

Fajazzle

Accessories for the face have burst back onto the beauty scene in recent times, swept in with the tide of the 90s revival. Fond memories of brightly coloured stickers applied haphazardly to the face as a child come flooding back to me, accompanied by the image of the heart-shaped patch of raw flesh it would leave when removed. Nowadays, fun face things are far gentler on the skin and can be purchased in places other than dodgy party shops and Claire’s Accessories. Miu Miu was quick to jump on the bandwagon during its Autumn/Winter ‘12/13 show: models appeared with small circular mirrors framing their brow bone and inner corners of the eye – a mesmerising look and one which I am impatiently waiting for an opportunity to copy, facial glue at the ready.

Bindis – as popularised by the legendary Gwen Stefani – are the most prevalent facial accessory at festivals and clubs worldwide. Ms. Stefani’s face has become something of a template for revellers, and who can blame them? She looks fierce. Of course it would be ignorant to disregard the history of the bindi, whose positioning between the eyebrows signifies the sixth chakra, the site of ‘concealed wisdom’, which also plays an important role in yoga as the ‘Third Eye’. I enjoy a little spiritual meaning to my make-up. However, the definition and function of the bindi has loosened with time, and has been adapted by both Eastern and Western cultures. When my sister went to India this summer, I made a specific request that she bring me back some beautiful authentic bindis, and indeed she did. Now all I have to do is wait for more appropriate occasions to embellish my absent mono-brow. For ’tis not, alas, a library look.

In other facial accessory news, glitter is still an easy solution for when your face needs a last minute sprucing. Coordinate your glitz with your eye shadow (I love coppery-bronze shades) and dab in the corners and on the lash line for a more subtle sparkle. Or when at a festival just tip half a pot on your face.

Tattoos have also had a revival – the transfer, non-permanent type. I would not encourage the eternal inking of skin just for the sake of fashion. Chanel released some limited edition tattoos featuring beautiful double Cs and swallows made out of pearls, and even the rather strange lip tattoo is not amiss at a fancy dress party or on the faces of Jessie J and Lady Gaga, for whom every day is a fancy dress party. Eastern traditions not only take shape in the form of bindis, but in Mehndi, or Henna to us Westerners.

Nail art is also an insanely popular beauty trend, with some artists adding gems or even piercings to their customer’s nails. Am I the only person here who kinda wants a nail piercing? Quite possibly. But the point is, Fajazzling (I really want to get this term off the ground) is indeed achievable, and more importantly, fabulous. I expect to see you all suitably sparkled out at the two Big P’s next year: Pangaea and Parklife.

Must See This Week In Theatre: 5th November-12th November

Orpheus Descending

Whilst being one of Tennesse William’s lesser-known plays, Orpheus Descending, still has plenty of what we love about him: a young male drifter, an unhappy Southern belle and lots of passion. Stars Imogen Stubbs as Lady Torrance.

Runs from 24th October to 24th November at The Royal Exchange Theatre

Student Tickets £10 or £5 on a Monday or Friday

 

Johnny Come Lately

Award-winning Manchester-based company Coal return to the Royal Exchange with their new show. The play blends physical theatre, comedy and tragedy, the play centres around a mother and daughter’s surreal experiences when a mysterious stranger turns up on the doorstep.

Runs from the 6th to 10th November at the Royal Exchange Theatre

Tickets £12 or £5 on Friday

 

Paper Tom

A new piece of writing which centres around the theme of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Telling the parallel stories of two soldiers, one World War One and one today, ‘Paper Tom’ is sure to be a heart-wrencher.

Runs on the 10th November at the Lowry Theatre

Tickets £5-£10

 

The Best of BE Festival

Three award-winning performances from the Birmingham’s International BE Theatre Festival. Featuring performers from Spain, Belgium and Granada, the evening will no doubt be an interesting one. There will also be an post-show discussion with the show’s cast and creators.

Runs on the 6th November at the Lowry Theatre

Tickets £12

Portrait of an author: F. Scott Fitzgerald

F. Scott Fitzgerald can be described as nothing less than an American literary titan. He was born in 1896, in the town of St Paul, Minnesota. His early life was a comfortable ascent through top American private schools that propelled him all the way to Princeton University.

Surprisingly, Fitzgerald was not the model student. At Princeton he persistently flunked classes. So following President Wilson’s commitment to the Great War in Europe, he dropped out and enlisted as an officer in the US army. Unlike a later generation of famous American writers (Hemingway included), Fitzgerald never saw action. The war came to its conclusion before he could be deployed to Europe. More importantly, his military service took him to Montgomery, Alabama. There he met Zelda Sayre; the deeply troubled love of his life. Together they formed an attractive couple who went on to epitomise the glamour, decadence and deep insecurity of the Jazz Age. By marrying Fitzgerald, Zelda sowed the seeds of the writer’s own destruction. At the same time however, she also did an excellent service to literature. Their volatile relationship and numerous affairs provided Fitzgerald with the emotional spark that enabled him to create the unique complexity of his (especially female) characters.

In addition to his tormented heart, Fitzgerald was a raging alcoholic. Like many great artists, Fitzgerald often wrote his material under the influence. Alcohol has a way of bringing out creative genius (students of Manchester take note, all those nights at Sankeys may not be for nothing). You can smell the Jack Daniels seeping from the pages. He mentions alcohol in every single one of his novels, and many of his short stories. From Benjamin Button’s fondness for whisky, to sipping cocktails on Gatsby’s lawn, it was an obsession of his that spilled onto the pages.

Tragically, meaningful recognition for Fitzgerald only came after his untimely death in 1940 at the age of 44. He suffered from the timeless curse of many a talented writer; he found fortune and success too early in his career. After The Great Gatsby was published a higher level of success seemed unattainable. Resultantly his life had nowhere else to go other than self-destruction and penury; the onset of which was made quicker by his alcoholism and tempestuous marriage. But following the USA’s entry into World War Two in late 1941, Armed Services Additions organised an effort to ship thousands of copies of The Great Gatsby out to US troops. Soon it was being read in foxholes, tanks and cargo ships the world over. This step helped propel Fitzgerald’s works to a place where they truly belong: at the front line of American literature.

If you read only one Fitzgerald book, make it The Great Gatsby. It’s the glittering casing of a love story whose centre is peeled back to reveal hardened knots of class, aspirations, and money money money. It is a novel that itself mythologizes a certain time and a certain notion of America, just as Nick Carraway mythologizes Daisy, and Gatsby does the American Dream. And a copy won’t set you back more than £3.