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Year: 2016

Review: The Innocents

The Innocents is a beautifully tragic drama which borrows its idea from the true story of a group of Polish nuns who were repeatedly raped by Soviet soldiers immediately after World War Two ended.

The story is quietly powerful, exposing the shocking and unexpected effect of rape on an uncommon group of people. Highly acclaimed French director Anne Fontaine explores different themes and shares the uplifting nature of unbreakable female unity but also their consequent betrayal.

Although the film has been received positively by critics, so far garnering 95 per cent positive reviews on Rotten Tomatoes (based on 80 reviews), it is by no means Fontaine’s first successful movie, having also directed the transatlantically popular Adoration, Gemma Bovery and Coco before Chanel amongst many other accomplished French films. Working alongside her is cinematographer Caroline Champetier who does a wonderful job of highlighting the nuns’ intense distress following their attack.

What makes it worse for them is that on top of suffering from PTSD they are terrified of being condemned to hell for being touched, something that they perceive as being a sin. When we discover that, the rapes feels all the more tragic and heart breaking as you feel their heightened shame. Champetier manages to skilfully communicate their distress through stillness and muted colours which puts the focus solely on their emotions, thus contrastingly transferring the scene from a quiet atmosphere to one of disquiet.

Fontaine carries out an in depth analysis of the different characters which frequently conflicts with their sense of morality. This is certainly true in the case of the nuns to varying effects, and also, to a certain extent, Samuel, who is Jewish, who early on in the film expresses hatred towards the Polish (they had shunned the Jewish before and during the war) however he later on aids the nuns, helping to deliver some of their children.

The main starring actress is Lou de Laâge, who does an outstanding job of taking on the role of Mathilde, a medical student who helps the nuns. Her presence on screen is magnetic and compelling, as her powerful yet timid vibe gives her a lovely edge that is complimented by the other actors. Vincent Macaigne had me feeling very conflicted with his portrayal of Samuel, Mathilde’s co-worker and lover. Whilst he was charming and provided an element of much needed humour and lightness to the otherwise heavy plot, he also was annoyingly self-deprecating and lacked compassion and tact during a time when it was needed the most. However, I feel this did make him more human and when sharing screen time with Lou de Laâge, he forces her character to reveal the vulnerable and tender side to her that she is reluctant to show.

The Innocents is a tragic film that will genuinely give you goosebumps and make you feel some intense emotions (I confess I cried twice throughout the film) that is solidified by wonderful acting and cinematography. Really worth a watch.

4/5

MUFC Player Ratings: Manchester United vs West Ham United

After a very convincing performance against Feyenoord midweek, Manchester United failed to build on their Europa League performance against West Ham United in the Premier League. Like against Burnley, Stoke and Arsenal, United dominated the game and created a bucket load of chances but failed to take all three points.

Mourinho switched his promising 4-3-3 to his go to 4-2-3-1 and United suffered because of it. The absence of Carrick, having played two consecutive games in the past week, saw Herrera and Pogba partnered at the base of midfield; not positions which suit their skill sets. The midfield balance was off and West Ham’s 3-4-3 soaked up much of United’s pressure, especially in the second half.

The Reds started the game awfully, conceding a free kick on the edge of the box and going a goal down from Diafra Sakho’s header having barely touched the ball. The response was good, however, and United controlled the rest of the game in terms of possession and shots. Zlatan Ibrahimović’s header brought the hosts back level in the 21st minute but failed to beat Darren Randolph again in the 90. The Irish international, like many goalkeepers visiting Old Trafford recently, had a stormer and was the mean reason why United failed to take all three points.

After the game, Ander Herrera and Rui Faria, speaking for Jose Mourinho who was once again sent to the stands for unprofessional behaviour, bemoaned the Reds’ lack of luck. While they have a legitimate argument (United had more than double West Ham’s xG – @11tegen11) there comes a point when luck cannot be the only answer.

It is now four Premier League home games in a row where United have dominated procedures but failed to pick up a win. In general, when things happen numerous times it is difficult to blame luck or the supernatural consistently. It is very probably that the Red Devils are suffering from a serious lack of confidence which is rubbing off on their finishing. The poor morale at United is deep rooted and not easy to shift. In the golden era, Old Trafford used to scare the visiting team. Now it seems to unnerve the hosts.

Player Ratings

GK: David De Gea: 7
Was not at fault for Sakho’s opener and actually kept United in the game in the dying moments when former Red, Ashley Fletcher, forced the Spaniard into a good save. Made a precautionary save from Dimitri Payet’s free kick in the second half and, other than that, was not tested.

RB: Valencia: 7

Quickly becoming Mourinho’s ‘mister reliable’. Another very solid game for the 31 year old who was a consistent thorn in Aaron Cresswell’s side. His crossing is not as dependable as it has been in the past but he provided a number of good opportunities for United going forward. Was never really put under significant pressure defensively.

RCB: Phil Jones: 7

After two decent performances against Swansea and Arsenal, Jones looks to be growing more familiar with the weight of United’s shirt, putting forward his best performance of the season so far against West Ham. Showed very good pace (not something he is especially known for) in beating Sakho in the 23rd minute and dominated aerially winning the joint-most duels of anyone on the pitch (6). One of those defensive headers would have become an assist had Marcus Rashford beaten Randolph in his one on one.

LCB: Marcos Rojo: 6

Like Jones, Rojo had a good game aerially winning four duels at an 80% success rate. Unlike Jones, Rojo had a few uncertain moments which fuelled the fire for those supporters who believe that the Argentinian is not fit to wear the United badge. He was fortunate to not concede a penalty for handball at the end of the first half and was beaten too easily by Ashley Fletcher for his chance at the end of the game.

LB: Matteo Darmian: 6

@WikimediaCommons

Tested thoroughly by Michail Antonio’s marauding runs and looked uncertain at the best of times. Only won three of his six attempted tackles and was caught out late on by Antonio’s dribble into the box. The Italian international was very poor going forward in stark contrast with Valencia on the opposite flank. Seemed to run out of ideas in the final third with the majority of his passes going backwards. Fortunately for Darmian, Luke Shaw seems to have fallen out with Mourinho with the young left back once again being left out of the match day squad. For the near future, Darmian will hold down the left side of defence, much to the fans’ dismay.

RDM: Ander Herrera: 6

Took up Carrick’s role of screening United’s defence but looked like a square peg in a round hole at times. Was dribbled past the joint most of any player on the pitch (3) but did provide the second most interceptions (3). One of Herrera’s clearest qualities is his industrious work-rate, and so, when he is restricted to anchoring the midfield there is a distinct lack of pressing to United’s game. As was seen on Thursday night against Feyenoord, Herrera is best suited to the right side of a three-man midfield where he has license to get forward and track back.

LDM: Paul Pogba: 7

Because of Herrera’s instructions to stay deep, Pogba had more license to roam forward. His scooped through ball to Ibrahimović was perfectly weighted for the Swede to nod home for United’s equaliser. The Frenchman set up Ibrahimović again at the end of the first half but his incisive pass was not awarded with an assist. In the second half, Pogba’s effort from the edge of the area was well saved by Darren Randolph to keep the score at 1-1. Statistically, Pogba was the best player on the pitch, winning the joint most aerial duels (6) and winning the joint-most dribbles (4). There are, however, some frustrating aspects to his game. His through ball to Rashford in the first half was over hit and forced the youngster much wider than he should have and some of the ‘trick box’ flicks and turns seemed unnecessary and sometimes led to dispossession. It was his theatrical dive in the first half which led to his booking and Mourinho’s dismissal to the stands for kicking a water bottle in protestation.

RM: Jessie Lingard: 6

Gave away the free kick in the first minute which led to West Ham’s opener but worked tirelessly and effectively from then on out. His brilliant movement and shot at the end of the first half should have been awarded with a goal if it was not for a fantastic Randolph save. Was unfortunate to not put United ahead in the second half when he pounced on Mkhitaryan’s rebound only to be hauled back for offside (correctly, just). Many a groan was heard around Old Trafford when the exuberant winger was substituted for Marouane Fellaini in the 85th.

CAM: Juan Mata: 6

United’s creative fulcrum was not at his usual best against West Ham and spent much of the game anonymous. Played a good through ball for Lingard’s chance at the end of the first half but did not provide much else in terms on penetration. Probably should have been kept on the pitch with United chasing a goal, given his recent form.

LM: Marcus Rashford: 5

@WikimediaCommons

The star man from the second half of last season has dropped in performance levels this campaign. Made lots of very good runs but whenever he got the ball he looked short of confidence to take on his man and his end product was uncharacteristically poor. Put in a decent cross for Ibrahimović in the first half but completely fluffed his one on one with Randolph just a few moments later. For a player known for his individual impact, zero key passes and zero dribbles won does not look great.

ST: Ibrahimović: 7

Started off the game poorly by being beaten by Sakho for West Ham’s opener. Made up for the deficit with a brilliantly guided header to put the hosts on level terms. Took too long winding up his shot at the end of the first half which allowed Angelo Ogbonna to make a last-ditch block. Showed great anticipation in the second half when he pounced on Collins’ mistake and rounded Randolph but his touch let Cheikhou Kouyaté clear the ball before Zlatan could put the ball in the empty net. Much has been made from Ibrahimović’s wayward finishing of late but the big Swede’s game is much more than just finishing chances. Against West Ham, Zlatan played five key passes which was two more than any other player on the pitch and did brilliantly to set up Lingard in the first half.

 

Subs

Wayne Rooney: 5

Failed to have any significant impact on the game and actually hindered United’s build up play more than he helped it. Had two poor efforts, one straight at Randolph and the other off target.

Henrikh Mkhitaryan: 6

Looked bright on the left hand side and played some smart passes to link up with Valencia. Was very unlucky to not put United ahead when his shot was brilliantly saved onto the inside of the post by Randolph. Mourinho’s claims that the Armenian is not ready for the Premier League have some weight as the ex-Dortmund man was shrugged off the ball too easily at times.

Marouane Fellaini: N/A

@WikimediaCommons

Genuinely awful. Came on as a final ‘hoof-ball’ option and did not win a single header. Despite coming on in the 85th minute, the Belgian managed to give away a free kick in a dangerous area and pick up a yellow card, the latter probably being his best involvement in the game as he will now be suspended for Wednesday’s EPL fixture against West Ham.

 

All statistics provided by WhoScored.com

MUFC Player Ratings: Manchester United vs West Ham United (EFL Cup)

Manchester United battered West Ham United at Old Trafford in the Premier League but could not bring home the three points on Sunday. Three days later, the two sides met again in the same setting to contest the quarter finals of the EFL Cup. With Mourinho serving a touchline ban because of his disgraceful treatment towards the innocent water bottle on Sunday, Rui Faria was given the task of directing the team for the second time this season.

Mourinho kept faith with his 4-2-3-1 and yet again started Zlatan Ibrahimović up top. This misfits of Henrikh Mkhitaryan, Wayne Rooney and Antony Martial made up the forwards supporting the big Swede in attack. Behind them, Michael Carrick and Ander Herrera had the job of breaking up West Ham’s forays forward. In defence, the ever reliable Antonio Valencia held down the right while Phil Jones and Marcos Rojo partnered the centre of defence. On the left, Luke Shaw was reintroduced from his exile to prove to Mourinho that he has the mettle to solidify a place in the starting eleven. David De Gea started in net which gave the impression that Mourinho is serious about progressing in this competition. With Chelsea, Manchester City, Tottenham and now Arsenal out, the EFL Cup might be United’s best shot at silverware this season.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

The Reds stormed out of the blocks with intent, immediately showing West Ham that they were not going to be in for an easy night under the lights at Old Trafford. A smart through ball from Rooney found Mkhitaryan who, in turn, coyly back-heeled the ball into the path of Ibrahimović, who put the hosts ahead in the first two minutes. United continued to storm forward, but the Hammers managed to snatch an equaliser when De Gea spilt Payet’s shot into the path of ex-Red, Ashley Fletcher. Suddenly, United looked like a team sapped of confidence. Yet again they had dominated. Yet again they were back level. Into half time the teams went and whatever Mourinho said to the men in red had a significant impact on the rest of the game.

United meant business in the second half, and this time, they carried out the deed. A brace from Martial followed by another Zlatan goal topped off a brilliant attacking display by Mourinho’s men. However, the highlight of the night was probably the reintroduction of Bastian Schweinsteiger to the United team. A standing ovation and cheers every time he touched the ball greeted the German, and the smile on his face could not have been wider. While it is very unlikely that the World Cup winner will make any real inroads into the United team, it is nice to see a true legend of the game appreciated properly.

 

Player Ratings

GK: David De Gea: 5

Only faced two shots on target: one of them he parried right in front of him, the other was Fletcher’s rebound which ended up in the back of the net. Definitely not his finest moment. Despite not being called on again, the Spaniard did show good distribution; sparking two counter attacking the second half from long, accurate throws.

RB: Antonio Valencia: 7

A game of the highest highs and some pretty low lows. Got forward very effectively, as he often does, but exceeded most fans’ expectations by pulling off one of the cleanest back-heels to Mkhitaryan for United’s second goal. Made a clever run that was found brilliantly by Ibrahimović and slid the ball across to Martial for the third. Defensively, Valencia struggled with Cresswell and Payet’s interchanges in the first half and picked up a yellow card for three silly fouls. He also gave Payet too much space for his shot, which, inevitably ended up in the back of the net.

RCB: Phil Jones: 7

Looked similar to the Phil Jones who was touted by Sir Alex Ferguson to be United’s next world class defender. Won 100 per cent of his tackles (2) and 100 per cent of his aerial duels (4) with two interceptions and three clearances thrown in for good measure. Did have some classic ‘Phil Jones’ moments, however. He completely misjudged the trajectory of an aerial ball and turned his back only to ricochet the ball to a United player off his neck. He also completely mishit a clearance in a dangerous position which could have been punished if West Ham’s forwards had been more alert. All in all, a solid outing.

LCB: Marcos Rojo: 8

Like, Jones, had an impressive game winning 100 per cent of his tackles (6) and 80 per cent of his aerial duels (4). Unlike Jones, Rojo did not make any horrendous errors which could have put United’s momentum in jeopardy. Made and very respectable eight clearances and three interceptions. Rojo is really starting to develop into a decent centre back and viable competitor for Chris Smalling and Eric Bailly when they return from injury.

LB: Luke Shaw: 6

After being completely left out of the squad for the fixture on Sunday, Shaw was given the chance to prove Mourinho that he is of United’s quality. The youngster did enough; he stopped the threat of Michail Antonio down the right and made some decent forays forwards. Unfortunately picked up an injury just before half time and so is unlikely to feature against Everton at the weekend.

RDM: Ander Herrera: 7

Not as commanding in midfield as he has so often been for United this season. The game, in general, seemed to pass the Spaniard by with the majority of West Ham’s attacks coming from the wings. Missed an important challenge in the build up to West Ham’s goal but other than that had a sound game. Showed good feet to dribble past the West Ham defender and pull the ball back to Ibrahimović for United’s fourth.

LDM: Michael Carrick: 7

Like Herrera, not as crucial to United’s game plan as he has been in previous matches. Controlled the possession and gave United much needed composure in a pretty hectic game. Will hopefully be partnered with Pogba and Herrera for United’s clash with Everton on Sunday; the Reds have won 8 of the 9 games Carrick has played in this season.

RM: Henrikh Mkhitaryan: 9

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

The man of the match for the second game in a row that he has started. Brought a huge amount of composure to United’s attacking play and chose the right pass in almost every instance. Started the game with a timely back-heel for Ibrahimović’s opener and set up Martial with a no-look pullback for the Frenchman’s first of the game. Played a whopping seven key passes, two more than the whole of the West Ham team combined. Has shown his quality two games running and should be rewarded with a start in the Premier League for the first time since the Manchester Derby.

CAM: Wayne Rooney: 9

Hands down the best performance by Rooney in the last four years. Back to his rugged and ruthless best, charging up and down the pitch like a bulldog. Was involved in United’s opener by playing though Mkhitaryan and took three West Ham players out of the game in the process. Proceeded to spread the play quickly and effectively, something which has been lacking from his game in recent times. “Rooney’s on a bender” was the chant heard from the Stretford End and rightly so.  Since the England skipper was caught out boozing he was scored two goals and picked up four assists in seven games. Have a beer on us, Wayne.

RM: Antony Martial: 8

Looked like the electric winger who took the Premier League by storm last season. Gave Antonio and Kouyate a torrid time with his direct running and grabbed a very impressive brace to double his scoring tally for the season. His first finish was emphatic while his second showed his natural striker’s instinct. Was wasteful at times and some of his decision making showed a bit of rust. However, a definitive step in the right direction for the young Frenchman.

ST: Zlatan Ibrahimović: 9

Started brilliantly by dinking the ball over Adrian in the second minute. Despite suffering the goalkeeper’s studs to the knee, the Swede, in typical ‘Zlatan’ fashion, got up and got on with the job. Missed two very good opportunities to score in the 6th minute but his work rate was phenomenal, pressing from the front and giving the West Ham defence not a moment of peace. Played an incisive no-look through ball to Valencia for the third and doubled his scoring tally with one of the last kicks of the game.

 

Subs

Daley Blind: 7

Covered for Shaw well enough and did not let West Ham have any sort of joy down his flank.

Bastian Schweinsteiger: N/A

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Came on to the biggest cheer of the evening and played with a smile on his face for his brief cameo on the pitch. Had a long range effort fly past the post and was important in playing through Herrera for United’s fourth goal of the night.

Marcus Rashford: N/A

Came on in the final moments to run down the clock and barely touched the ball.

 

All statistics provided by WhoScored.com

Review: A United Kingdom

At opposite ends of the room Ruth Williams (Rosamund Pike) locks eyes with the intriguing Seretse Khama (David Oyelowo) at a dance in late 1940s London. It is in this moment that we know their love story is inevitable. We witness its brisk development within the first few minutes of A United Kingdom, culminating in a proposal which will spark a world of chaos for the lovers.

Seretse is the soon to be king of the Bamangwato tribe in Bechuanaland (now known as Botswana) and Ruth Williams is the woman he has decided to spend the rest of his life with. The only problem is, Seretse is a black man and Ruth is a white woman.

Interracial relationships were anachronistic for the time thus their engagement is met with opposition from both their families. With apartheid being instated in South Africa their union also poses issues for the British government. Alistair Canning (Jack Davenport) is the snobby bureaucrat appointed to raise a barrier to the couples union. This is because South Africa provides cheap gold to Britain. News of a white British Queen on the Bechuanaland throne would anger a nation cemented in its divisions.

Amma Asante, the films director, has made a romantic film which effortlessly merges the personal and the political. Her previous film Belle (2013) also dealt with race relation issues. Asante’s small yet outstanding catalogue of work is fast establishing her as an auteur. Namely, of personal true stories that show love can restore humanity in otherwise inhuman situations.

The film is based on true events. It is the love story amongst all of the political and economic turmoil which anchors the film. Rosamund Pike and David Oyelowo are superb in their portrayal of the couple. Their chemistry is undeniable and Oyelowo particularly shines with his terrific accent and steely resilience against a tide of oppression. He once again showcases his talent as a leading man and also his talent for giving speeches as seen in Selma (2014).

The supporting cast is also outstanding with a plethora of famous faces such as Laura Carmichael of Downton Abbey fame, and Nicholas Lyndhurst from the iconic Only Fools and Horses. They play Ruth’s sister Murial and her father George.

The universality of this true love story coupled with Asante’s expert craftsmanship makes this film the perfect cinematic package. It is an easy watch with emotive content played out in the breathtaking landscapes of African. Despite a slow start and rather clunky dialogue at time, the film still excels as a masterpiece and will leave your heart well and truly warmed.

Review: Paterson

Jim Jarmusch is like a really bad bus service, you wait ages for one then two suddenly come along at the same time. With his love for Iggy Pop and The Stooges in Gimme Danger, it is his fictional film Paterson that once again reinstates Jarmusch as not only an imperative voice in American indie cinema but also as one of modern cinema’s defining auteurs. Although this statement appears at first glance grandiose, it is not given for flamboyancy but instead validity of the gentleness inherent in Paterson.

Paterson (Adam Driver) is a bus driver in Paterson, New Jersey. He wakes up at 6:15am most days, gazes with love at his caring partner Laura (Goldshifteh Farahani), eats of a small bowl of Cheerios, and then sets off for work with a blue metallic steel lunch box. After a day at work, Paterson walks his English bulldog Marvin down to the local bar. Neon lights brighten up this place. Behind the bar, the charismatic Doc (Barry Shabaka Henley) pours Paterson and pint of beer. Yet, behind the veneer of this everyday routine man, something artistic rests.

‘Life isn’t dramatic, always’ Jarmusch recently stated in an interview with The Guardian. The simplicity of the plot is not a reflection of the piercing beauty which is found — its ease only serves to reinstate it. In his spare time, Paterson writes expressive poetry. The work which he creates is eloquent, poignant and captures the splendour of the seemingly mundane. In the instance of a box of Ohio Blue Match Sticks, Paterson functions it as an allegory for love and passion.

Focusing upon much discussed William Carlos Williams — whose poetry is referenced constantly — his predominant focus on the commonality of life is entwined with Paterson. Do we define him as a bus driver who is a poet, or a poet who is a bus driver? He is apprehensive to openly acknowledge his creative flair, but it is distinct that something remarkable hides behind the blue jacket and the understated appearance of Driver. Chiefly, it is not inconceivable to state that Paterson is indeed a poet who is a bus driver.

Paterson’s job does not bore him. Overhearing conversations between labourers, teenage kids, and two young boys, their words light up the face of Paterson. Even when the bus breaks down unexpectedly, the man is composed and self-assuring to his passengers. As the travellers ask constantly whether the bus will explode into a fireball, he calmly rejects their claim. However, one can be appreciative of the fact that this is thankfully not that sort of film to which stupidity and negligence orientate.

The experience of being a bus driver produces a reflective influence upon his poetry. A delicate visual representation of Paterson’s poetry is found both in voice-over of Driver reading his character’s work and imagined on screen in a soft eggshell white. The slow deliverance of the poetry, to which is created in the moment of its delivery, is part of the creative process to Paterson. With time, clarity arises and so does an assurance in his pronunciation of his beautiful poetry.

Behind the unfussy performance of Driver lies an attentive direction from Jarmusch and his crew. Medium longshots of the bus place us, the viewer, onto street level observing Driver — who gained a bus license just for this role. In an age of Cinematic Universes and the ghastly Transformer films, there is something graceful in the simplicity of Paterson. Like a favourite song, book, or blanket, Paterson will be revisited and consumed over and over again. Poetical in both a literal and abstract sense.

5/5

Harambe and the magic of memes

At the beginning of the year, 2016 looked like it would be like any other. We would celebrate all the traditional festivals such as Easter, the Summer Solstice and Ed Balls Day all without incident. We knew the referendum was around the corner but we did not pay much heed to it. And then, something happened. Our world started to become increasingly surreal. The world of the Internet started to leak through into real life and real life began to shape the online world immeasurably.  I speak, of course, of memes. Memes have for many become a tangible and unavoidable part of everyday life.

I start with the hero of 2016. A true martyr who died for us and who has been shown such levels of love on the internet that the appreciation for his life is now becoming part of the zeitgeist. Everywhere, people know his name. We all remember where we were, at 4pm EDT 28th May 2016, when we found out Harambe had been killed at Cincinnati Zoo.

Harambe, who has since gone on to conquer the internet, was not just a gorilla. He was you. He was me. He was humanity. He was all of us. Whether lowland gorilla, human or orangutan. He gained such popularity that not only is there a Wikipedia page about his death, but also a page dedicated to making memes about him, which has been mentioned in many mainstream publications.

The murderers at Cincinnati Zoo have requested that these memes stop, but that will only encourage more memes. Harambe did not die for nothing, you know. In fact, people still shout dicks out for Harambe at passing television cameras and there was a candle lit vigil for him in Manchester and in other places across the globe. Such things are even banned at one US University, as he is considered a symbol of male oppression. How much acid they were on when they made that link god, or Harambe, only knows.  But the biggest indication that Harambe has transcended mortality, the Internet and even popular culture, is the fact that 11,000 people voted for Harambe in the US election. 11,000 people wisely put their cross next to a gorilla, who were he still alive, would probably have achieved world peace and global enlightenment.

But we have also seen the evolution of other forms of memery. Pepe the Frog, a cartoon character form a comic called ‘Boy’s Club’ and adopted by 4chan, has not only become a meme, but for some also a symbol. Depending on who you ask, they will give different answers. Many on the alt-right will say Pepe is an intrinsic part of their meme culture, there to poke fun at their political adversaries, proclaiming their love of the meme with the phrase ‘Praise Kek!’ Some people actually believe that he is the incarnation of an Egyptian god who has been sent to deliver us from evil. Then, there are those who see him as a hate symbol, following certain racist cartoons being made either using him as a base for their illustration or with racist wording.

The US Anti Deformation League has called him a hate symbol and encourages people not to use him as a meme. Yet he persists. His memes formed a major pillar of Donald Trump’s online campaign for the presidency, otherwise known as ‘The Great Meme War 2015-16’. Eventually, Hillary Clinton was going to have to address it. In a campaign rally, some months ago, Hillary Clinton called out the alt-right and their use of racist symbols, to which a man in the crowd can immediately be heard shouting “PEEEPEEE!” at the top of his lungs. Pepe has not only managed to breakout from 4chan, but he has broken out of the conventional realms of the Internet.

But these are all relatively old examples. The Internet moves at a thousand miles a minute and while these memes reached their peak about a month or two ago, to the Internet, that is a lifetime ago. In the weeks immediately following Trump’s win, a new meme began to take shape, a whimsical and harmless meme in which we could all share enjoyment. It was the series of Biden/Obama memes. These memes, inspired by lines from the always hilarious film ‘Step Brothers’, gained such traction and captured our imagination to such a degree that they became a news story in their own right. Suddenly, CNN, NBC, ABC and other US news networks were talking about the memes, reporting on them and writing articles about them. What kind of a world do we now live in that memes, once the preserve of a few niche corners of the internet, are now mainstream news? What has happened in 2016 that has brought about such shattering change?

The answer is simple my friends: the world has been turned upside down. With the new digital age, and the increasingly uncertain world in which we live, the world is becoming a much nastier, scarier, more bleak place. Yet, amongst the calamitous situation in which western civilisation currently finds itself in, we can take refuge in the realm of memes. They can make us smile when we think all hope is lost. So I say simply this: keep memeing away, and it might not be so bad.

Review: The Grand Tour, Episode One

In March 2015, Jeremy Clarkson punched a BBC producer due to the absence of a hot meal on offer after a day of Top Gear filming. Immediately, debates were opened up as to what the BBC should do next. Take the moral high ground, make a statement and sack Clarkson? Or accept a public apology, acknowledge his popularity and let the incident slide? In essence, the nature of these debates were akin to the “non-dom” taxation debates of the 2015 UK general election campaign: morality vs economics.

Well, despite petitions from fans to keep Clarkson, the BBC decided Clarkson had crossed a line and had to go. And so with him went colleagues James May and Richard Hammond. In an attempt to prove Top Gear was bigger than the trio, another series of Top Gear was filmed. Cast selection made it clear from the offset the BBC were trying to appeal to a wider audience than before. Top Gear had become symbolic of heterogenic masculinity, with its “laddish” style humour. That is not to say women didn’t watch the show but the new Top Gear wanted to feel more inclusive. New presenters included radio host Chris Evans, Friends star Matt LeBlanc, F1’s Eddie Jordan, as well as professional racing driver Sabine Schmitz. The show certainly had crafted a fresh, new image.

Despite the BBC’s efforts, the new Top Gear series went down like a lead balloon. That didn’t stop Evans rather embarrassingly taking to twitter to defend the first episode, tweeting “The new Top Gear is a hit. OFFICIALLY. 23 % audience share. 12 % MORE than the opening episode of the last series. These are the FACTS”. Indeed, people may have watched the first episode out of curiosity but that is not to say they enjoyed the show, as indicated by the plummeting viewing figures of subsequent weeks. The 3rd episode’s overnight viewing figures were 2.4 million: the lowest for the BBC2 show in over a decade. Matt Le Blanc received praise from critics but overall Top Gear flopped. So much so that Evans has since stepped down as host due to the overwhelming volume of criticism received.

And so all eyes turned to Clarkson, Hammond and May. The trio signed a multi-million pound deal with Amazon to host a rival car show, titled  “The Grand Tour”. Fans were brimming with excitement, with the first episode due to go live on the site on the 18th of November from 00:01.

The Grand Tour started off in tongue and cheek style. Clarkson left a building, exchanging glances with the security guard (alluding to his BBC departure) before heading off to the airport to get a flight to Los Angeles. Clarkson then began driving along a picturesque road in America, joined by May and Hammond. The trio then drove along a beach to the opening set to the sound of Johnny Nash’s “I can see clearly now the rain has gone”, played by a live band. Lots of other cars, trucks and Lorries drove alongside Clarkson et al. to illustrate the number of team members that followed the trio to Amazon from BBC.

Amazon had clearly gone over and above to ensure as many fans were at the show’s launch as possible; the size of the crowd illustrated the extent of the global reach of the trio’s popularity. The cinematography of this scene was stunning, as well as being very clever, it was basically a way of sticking two fingers up to the BBC and saying “you need us; we don’t need you” without explicitly saying or doing anything controversial. The beaming trio were upbeat, and their energy infected the crowd.

Once inside the tent, the Grand Tour began with a classic Clarkson Vs Hammond battle over whose car was best, with May eventually joining the duo. The three cars reviewed across the show were hybrid hypercars: McClaren P1 (Clarkson); Porsche 918 (Hammond) and LaFerrari (May). There were some details given about the mechanical features of the cars. But in traditional Top Gear Style, these reviews were light hearted in nature. Clarkson suggested Hammond’s Porsche was like Downton Abbey and his McClaren was like Breaking Bad. The humour was also as politically incorrect as fans have to come expect (and love). Clarkson compared the trio to gypsies due to the fact they will be travelling round in a tent but pointed out the difference is that they will pay insurance tax. In the “I’m offended” political era, Clarkson’s politically incorrect jokes are somewhat refreshing. The trio’s humour is what the fans tune in for. Evans just did not have that presence about him. He might tell a joke but it seemed slightly forced and awkward. With Clarkson et al., the show is embedded with witty jokes and one-liners; the trio bounce off one another and have great chemistry: a complete contrast to the Top Gear presenters who failed to gel as a group.

While the BBC has ownership rights over lots of Top Gear content, the Grand Tour was very similar to the traditional Top Gear set up which the fans know and love. “The Stig” has been replaced by “the American”, who seems to like to make jokes about Communism. The “Star in the reasonably priced car” section has been replaced by “Celebrity Brain Crash”, although details of what this actually entails remain vague as of yet. All that has effectively changed is technicalities and titles: it is basically Top Gear but Clarkson et al. now have more money, as well as greater freedom to do what they want given the show is broadcast online and not on TV.

The Grand Tour’s reception was well and truly brilliant. Over 3,000 people have rated the Amazon episode, averaging 5 stars. In addition, the episodes’s IMDb rating is 9.6. Given Top Gear was one of the BBC’s most exported programme worldwide, the success of The Grand Tour might have them worried. With the loss of so much revenue, further question marks will be added over the BBC’s future. Sacking Clarkson might have been the right thing to do morally but it was bad for business.

Score: 4/5

Revolution Champions League opens in Manchester

Team JLT Condor won the opening round of the new Revolution Champions League at the Manchester Velodrome on Saturday.  The duo of Jon Mould and Ed Clancy racked up a sizeable 199 points over 9 races to put them firmly in the lead going into the final round in London.

The newly revised format also proved a success, as British and international teams battled it out over two days.

In spite of the World Tour teams being the new major attraction, the track specialists dominated the standings, with all of Saturday’s races being won by riders for non-World Tour teams.  Elia Viviani arrived as Olympic champion, and was hoping to replicate some of that success at Revolution. However, his immaculate chrome blue and gold bike was not enough to overcome the Revolution regulars, and had to settle for second place in the team elimination as his best result of the weekend.

JLT Condor cemented their place at the top of the standings with three wins and two second places on Saturday.

The nearest placed team to them, Team Pedalsure, notched up a win each for both of their riders — Andy Tennant and 6-day legend Iljo Keisse — and trail JLT by 27 points. They will be hoping to overturn this deficit in London this weekend.

Owain Doull managed to recover from a nasty crash on Friday night to compete on Saturday, and managed a solid third place finish in the scratch race.

Maloja Pushbikers’ Max Beyer won the scratch race after escaping with leading group with five other riders and pipping Clancy on the line in the final.

The women’s elite omnium also gave fans a first look at the new format. The UCI recently changed the omnium from six events over two days to four events over a single day, and removed all of the timed races. Revisions to the rules of one new addition, the tempo race, only came through on Friday night, meaning riders had to be quick to adapt to new regulations.

Team podium ambition finished top of the standings at the end of the weekend, with Voxwomen and Great Britain in second and third respectively.

The men’s sprint omnium also saw plenty of tense racing, with it being dominated by France’s Quentin Lafargue, and Lithuania’s Vasilijus Lendel. Matt Rotherham also managed to revel in the home support, and earned himself a solid fourth place among a tough field.

The riders now go on to London’s Lee Valley Velodrome for the final round of the Champions League, on the 2nd and 3rd of December.

6 day legend Iljo Keisse, Photo: Joseph Laithwaite Photo: Joseph Laithwaite Olympic Omnium champion Elia Viviani, Photo Joseph Laithwaite Photo: Joseph Laithwaite

Champions League Standings after 9 races

JLT Condor p/b Mavic 199

Team Pedalsure 172

Maloja Pushbikers  127

Team Sky 102

Cannondale Drapac 89

Team Wiggins 83

Giant-Alpecin 72

LottoNL-Jumbo 70

France-Alé 58

Trek-Segafredo 53

Orica-BikeExchange 42

Lampre Merida 25

Gigi Hadid, Melania Trump, and the rise of virtue signalling

The American Music Awards (AMAs) has never been short of controversy. In 2009 its public voting system was criticised for posthumously nominating Michael Jackson for awards such as Artist of the Year — it also received complaints concerning Adam Lambert’s ‘racy’ performance at the ceremony.

This year was no different. This time it was one of the hosts, Gigi Hadid, who drew unwanted attention. It was to be expected that a joke about President-elect Donald Trump was going to be made, given his momentous victory over Hillary Clinton earlier in November, and the plethora of material he has handed to the media to satirise.

Gigi Hadid’s impression of Melania Trump at the awards ceremony on Sunday highlighted a few things, and there are many questions that could be debated: was it racist? Should she have had to apologise? The stunt involved her imitating Melania’s facial expressions and Slovenian accent, and saying “I love my husband, President Barack Obama,” playing on Melania’s plagiarising of Michelle Obama’s speech at the Democratic National Convention in Denver in 2008. In that case, the lack of foresight of both Melania and her speechwriter was dumbfounding, particularly in an internet age where nothing can be fully erased or forgotten.

Regarding Hadid’s impression, initially, I felt that it was an unnecessarily personal and spiteful attack on someone who has remained relatively removed from the political sphere. Reflecting on my initial thoughts about the incident, though, it seems clear that she should not have felt compelled to apologise. The impression was based on something Melania had done, and was rightly criticised for. While imitating her facial expression seemed particularly spiteful, and did not add any humour to the segment, double standards of the ‘acceptability’ of mocking others must not be tolerated.

To me, this event illuminated something about the way in which people engaged with the US election and Donald Trump. The process exposed the prominence of ‘virtue signalling’ in our society. Virtue signalling, a phrase coined by author James Bartholomew, is defined by Mark Judge in an article for Acculturated as, “the popular modern habit of indicating that one has virtue merely by expressing disgust or favor for certain political ideas, cultural happenings, or even the weather”.

I noticed that throughout the UK’s European Union referendum campaign, and more acutely during the US presidential election campaign, a competition arose to see who could denounce certain ideas the most. This was particularly the case on social media, irrespective of whether claims were backed up with evidence.

Political discussion and debate on social media platforms have too often become what Bartholomew notes as “indicating” that you share “the right, approved, liberal media-elite opinions” and that you are of a “kind, decent, and virtuous” sort . In no way did I support Trump in the election — I found the election to be demoralising. It seemed, however, that  any allegiance to Trump was deemed completely unacceptable and unfathomable — any and every supporter was immediately branded a racist, ignorant bigot. This labelling does not encourage the challenging debate that is so needed in the current political climate — this is a whole other discussion to be had.

The link between Gigi Hadid’s impression and virtue signalling may not be immediately clear. However, for me, it drew into focus the ‘group think’ mentality that goes hand-in-hand with virtue signalling. It highlighted the connection between celebrity culture and politics, and how this perpetuated the sense of ‘moral superiority’ that Ben Shapiro talks of — which undoubtedly contributed to Trump’s victory. The very overt presentation of morality and decency portrayed by celebrities and others reflects how most of the time it is for their personal ‘aggrandisement’ — for an ego-trip. People are able to place themselves in the camp of virtue and “enjoy a sense of community” and “feel confirmed” in their viewpoint. All of this has been exasperated by celebrity culture and liberal mainstream media.

Some people I spoke to about Trump knew as much as possible about his policy aims. However, the majority seemed to rely upon vague popular discourse and lacked concrete backing to their arguments against him. This is one reason why ‘virtue signalling’ became so prevalent during his campaign, it seemed as though it was a fight for who could shout the loudest in denouncement of him.

There is plenty to say in attempting to reason with Trump’s victory, though it is not the focus of this article. Last Sunday’s incident, however, highlighted a growing problem in society. There is too much concern with appearing in a certain way and conforming to the “right” way of thinking. It is exactly this “group think” and fear of diverging from popular rhetoric that lets someone like Trump gain traction and build support. Instead of concentrating on solutions, we are stuck in denouncing him and failing to fully address the issues behind his discourse. It also brings in the focus the American public’s rejection of the intertwining  of celebrity culture with political strategy, despite Hillary Clinton’s best efforts.

Trump and Farage are role models for aspiring politicians

These days, people are becoming increasingly sick of politicians that represent establishment interests and repeat party lines without passion behind what they are saying. Irrespective of your political beliefs, no one can deny that both Nigel Farage and President-elect Donald Trump managed to connect with ordinary people, in the UK and US respectfully. In pursuit of their goals, both beat the odds against them: Farage gathered public backing for the  UK to leave the European Union and Trump made it to the White House.

Lessons can be learned from the events of this year. It signals a change in way we view our representatives: we do not want prim and perfect individuals. Rather, we prefer individuals who have battled through setbacks, made mistakes, and are ready to admit that they are imperfect people. Many accuse politicians of being out-of-touch, but it takes a lot for a politician to admit that they have made mistakes and then not let it get in the way of their work.

It is true that politicians are in a position of high authority. Naturally, we would expect them to behave appropriately and show respect. But there is a fine line between being diplomatic to all parties and being a push-over. David Cameron’s leadership of the Conservative Party was case-in-point of the latter. He appealed to the centre of the party and facilitated a broad church of views. This encouraged resentment from traditional conservatives within the party, with many feeling that the Tories no longer stood for their values.

The Labour Party is arguably having the opposite problem. Many ardent Corbynites feel that Jeremy Corbyn is returning the party back to its old working class roots, but much of the Parliamentary Labour Party feel that electability is more important. It is often said that it is better to be in government than to be in opposition.

I beg to differ. A strong and vocal opposition beats weak governance. Nigel Farage, despite not being a representative in Parliament, helped create the foundations for Britain to vote to leave the European Union. Perhaps the strength of the anti-Westminster movement that he created was somewhat rooted in that fact that he was not publicly elected.

Those in government often get complacent and take their safe seats for granted. They see their position grants them a secure and comfortable lifestyle in contrast to the precariousness of standing up for what one truly believes in. So what was it that brought our MPs into politics — an inherent conviction of their principles or a fervent love for power?

One who had nothing to loose has all to gain. Trump is a successful multi-millionaire and exerts plenty of influence in the business world. Despite having a privileged life, voters in the US could be reassured that he was not competing in the election for the money or power of the Presidency — he already has that. It is not surprising, therefore, that the results of the electoral college showed that the average voter trusted Trump more so than Clinton.

Irrespective of placement on the political spectrum, those aspiring to go into politics can learn a lot from how both Trump and Farage engaged with the electorate. One cannot deny that they are able to connect with people in a way that other politicians are not able to do. At heart, they went into politics for the right reasons. Above all, that is why they were so successful. When the going gets tough, one’s principles always serve as better motivation than money or power ever will.

Student’s new cane design to change visually impaired lives

Vasileios Tsormpatzoudis, a PhD student and the University of Manchester’s School of Electrical and Electronic Engineering, has upgraded the traditional white cane used by the blind and visually impaired by adding a sensor.

He explains, “mySmartCane allows visual impaired people to sense their environment beyond the physical length of their cane.

“The user is alerted to approaching objects using gentle audio, rather than waiting for the cane to physically bump into the object. Navigation is therefore easier and much faster.”

Mr Tsormpatzoudis explained that this project felt very personal to him. He said: “My main inspiration was my mother, who has retinis pigmentosa. I have seen first-hand the struggle visual impaired people have to put up with when they try to navigate with the traditional white cane.

“In preparation for the project, I conducted many conversations with existing white cane users. The key takeaway was that my modernised white-cane had to be as simple and low-cost, so I used 3D printing and cheap sensors to create an ultrasonic sensory ball, which attaches to the bottom of most existing white-canes.”

The sensor used is an ultrasonic ball that can measure the distance of the cane from surrounding objects. It then converts the data into a sound that can be heard with a bone-conducting headphone.

This means the user can gauge the object distance by the frequency of the sound without becoming too distracted by the environment and reliant on support from others.

Talking of the future, Mr Tsormpatzoudis said: “I do have many ideas to refine the design further. For example, I want to add an additional sensor to detect overhead obstacles such as sign-posts or doorways which could cause injury and are impossible to detect with a normal white-cane. Another innovation could be using vibration rather sound.”

Mr Tsormpatzoudis’ project supervisor at National Instruments, where the design was made, Richard Roberts has said: “It’s also a testament to practical engineering skills taught at The University of Manchester, the power of National Instruments technologies and, of course, Vasileios’ unbounded creativity. I think this highlights that Manchester is a hotbed of engineering talent.”

Consumerism: always on the rise

As November comes to an end, Americans celebrate Thanksgiving and “the day after Thanksgiving.” For some reason, so do we. Their four-day weekend makes Black Friday the perfect day to attract customers with low prices and crazy offers. Here in the UK, with no historical nor logistical reasons to observe this day, shops are having their very own Black Friday sales. On the either side of the pond, one thing is for sure: consumer culture is more alive than ever.

We were born and raised in the age of consumerism and ultimately, we know no other way of life. Hypocritically, our complaints have been  over-done by now. But, as time goes by, we get more and more sucked into this excessive lifestyle: Kylie Jenner has got us waiting on her lipsticks, Kanye West on his Yeezys, and Rihanna on her Creepers. Just last Saturday, customers waited outside of FootLocker from 8am to get the new Adidas Ultra-boosts. They sold out so fast that even an employee working there at the time did not get the chance to grab a pair — all this because Kanye wears them.

Producing limited quantities of celebrity-created, or even merely celebrity-endorsed, products for a limited amount of time almost makes the matter one of obsession. Out of personal experience, and after failing three times already, I am going to keep trying to catch at least one Kylie Cosmetics release.

There is something about the thrill of “winning” and getting the lipsticks in the six minutes before they sell out that makes you forget just how much your spending, or, more importantly, that you are getting really competitive about an over-hyped make up collection. It makes you feel like you are part of something bigger, that you are in a community with millions of others who share the same interests.

Apps such as Snapchat and Instagram bring celebrities so much closer to us, the images of their lives become far easier to relate to. It becomes an almost personal endeavour to support Kylie on her newest launch. Even these apps — which are, ironically, free — flood us with advertisements at every tap. It is a process of globalisation that reaches so far into our pockets, we don not even seem to notice.

Our obsession with celebrity lifestyle has even found its way into the recent US elections. After the results, many turned to analyse Hilary Clinton’s heavily reliance on celebrity endorsement to generate youth appeal. For example, Beyoncé often performed at Clinton’s rallies, casting a different light on the presidential candidate’s campaign. This aura of fake political legitimacy “yas queen slay”-ed Clinton all the way to losing.

Our consumerism, namely that of pop-culture, has crept its way into the political sphere, almost belittling it. The election was not a pure democratic process — it was a sad, drawn-out reality TV episode. The world has become so used to Keeping up with the Kardashians that America’s only way of keeping politics interesting was by electing a President who engages in constant Twitter wars with fellow celebrities.

And as much as Trump would like to deny it, this consumer culture is not just harming us, it is also harming the planet. In fact, the only shred of hope in this constant rise is that consumerism may be reaching the apex after which we can hope it will decline. With rising populations all over the world and the majority of us now increasingly living in urban areas, the dangers of our excessiveness have gone beyond potential threats — they are now a concrete reality.

Consumerism brings with it gas-guzzling cars, plastic water bottles, and takeaway menus. It necessarily displaces money into the hands of the wrong, rather wasteful people. The money we hand over to said-celebrities and designers — some more so than others — goes towards their animal-tested, toxic-waste-producing products. All the while, we advocate for recycling and reducing our carbon footprint, oblivious to the fact that our daily lifestyle is a threat to life itself. While we often cannot escape the over-powering consumerist narrative, we could at least be more conscious about where we spend our money.

For now, commercialised holidays are just around the corner. Christmas movies and songs are all the rage — all pushing us to show our loved ones we care in the only way we know: spending. It is not even December yet and I have already lost my chance of getting the Kylie Holiday Collection. Consumer culture has changed the holidays from a relaxing time with family and friends into a fast-paced survival-of-the fittest scenario, and we are too weak to do anything to resist it.

The world has not always been this way. Soon enough, we will realise that we do not need to be so blindingly impressed by big names — nor will we need the constant flickering on our social media accounts of the minute, day-to-day details of people’s lives that are so far removed from our own.

“You’re a total cuck mangina”

We all know them. You watch a video, you read an article, you foolishly scroll down and there they are — the comments.

On The Mancunion comment section you can use any username you like, and you do not even need to use a real email address. We have had our fair share of ridiculous, abusive, and just plain bizarre comments. Not all of them are trolling, or being deliberately provocative, many clearly just disagree with our writers and choose to voice their frustration in a petty, personal way, but many are worth reading. Here are some of our favourites:

‘guz’ on ‘A response to ‘Dear fresher females studying STEM’’: “It’s hilarious how you can sense the indignation and anger of this prissy writer grow through the article. By the end she is starting to realise that being born with a vagina entitles her to nothing… Shameful article overall and shows just how conceited feminist has made many women.”

‘Rachel’ on ‘Are celebrities ruining Sport Relief?’: “Harry Newton, how you could write this is beyond me. What Eddie is doing is utterly inspiring. I feel dirty even commenting on this because you were quite obviously controversy-fishing when you wrote it. But I cannot stand by and watch a bored, and to be quite frank, boring student write this in the hope of losing his virginity tonight. Harry, Sport Relief is a fantastic cause and it is people like you who detract from it by writing such sceptical garbage, not people like Eddie.”

‘tonysprout’ on ‘The Executive Team doesn’t need a Men’s Officer’ (an article from 2011): … “‘men are already vastly over represented…’ Yes, by patriarchs that believe that women are special snowflakes and therefore need more protection than men. IOW, women can’t hold their own and will never be equal. They are to be treated and protected like children. I see I’m a little late, but the date at the top of this page is Nov 22, 2016. Today’s date, so I’ll post anyway.”

The election of Trump has also attracted many commentators:

‘firstpostcommenter’ (who was second) on ‘Two slogans that define our world’: “I am not saying that all Muslims are Terrorists but all Terrorists are Muslims

Why arent politicians like Hillary saying openly that All Terrorists are Muslims….

People dont [sic] want to hear Political correctness…they want to hear ‘actual’ correctness i.e. to say things as they are”.

‘NosSig’ on ‘Harvard suspends men’s soccer team over sexual comments’: “Hey JM… just a friendly reminder, no one cares about your attempts at virtue signalling”.

‘eric strickland’ on the same article: “you’re a total cuck mangina,i bet you wear your wifes dresses when she’s at work .lmao at you”.

One inexplicable comment thread is this frankly bizarre incident where somebody impersonated one of our writers and… her mum:

‘P’ on ‘53% of University of Manchester students in favour of monarchy’: “What a well written article”.

‘Stevie’: “Thanks Mom – yours truly Stevie”.

Why would anyone bother doing that? However, perhaps more damaging was when someone pretended to be Naa Acquah, the SU’s General Secretary. Or rather, it might have been damaging, if they could spell her name properly:

‘Naa Acqua’ on ‘Response to SU apology’: “There is nothing to settle. You made a colossal blunder and you can’t even apologise with dignity. This article just makes you look bad. Off to a great start guys.”

Opinion naturally gets by far the most comments and debates, and so by extension the most trolls. However, these trolls appear to be a cut above, at least in their eloquence and seeming lack of blind rage:

‘John Smith’ on ‘Can The Labour Party sell 21st century socialism?’: “I must say I loved this article, my favourite kind of opinion piece is so often the type that gives me about as much information as i would obtain from the back of a penguin wrapper! Kind regards John Smith”

‘Catmanface’ on ‘Professor Dame Nancy Rothwell’s disrespect for the student body’: “The only thing we deserve in this situation is better journalism. Aside from the author’s apparent use of this article to practice for his Key Stage 2 ‘how to use analogies’ homework, he clearly isn’t in the real world. Another anology might pertain to Mr Nicholas reminiscing of an inept Brutus, stabbing his friend in the back but failing, with neither grace or charm, to kill her, and instead biting the hand that feeds him.”

‘John Marchant’ on ‘The fight for the European Union is not over’: “Oh stop whinging. If you really want to be in the EU then take the opportunity afforded you now. Move to the EU country of your choice and settle and establish yourselves there.

In 2 years or whenever we leave you will have the time to take residency and then its pretty much guaranteed you can stay.

Its simple really, or is this just Remoaners or Remainiacs having a whinge who will never actually get off their arse and do it. Oh i forgot its Manchester, of course it is.”

Although this relative politeness sometimes slips:

‘Student’ on ‘An NUS women’s officer is unnecessary’: “#I’mHolierThanThouTriggered
#DoesNotUnderstandTheMeaningOfOpinionArticlesTriggered
#EditorsAreBiasedAsTheyLetOpinionArticlesContrayToMineBePublishedTriggered”

However, whilst trolls are often largely harmless, pointless rage, they can commit terrible acts. Research by CiviliNation found that 12.9 per cent of people have been physically threatened online, breaking the barrier between online and offline life. Trolls are also becoming more dangerous — both because they are getting more aggressive and because we are putting more and more of ourselves online. According to trolling expert Professor Joseph Reagle simply saying “don’t feed the trolls” is “no longer sufficient. The trolls in the 90s are not the same trolls we have today.”

One example of just how dangerous trolls can be is Gamergate. A movement ostensibly about improving ethics in videogame journalism, in practice it has seen online trolls carry out a systematic, blatantly sexist campaign of abuse. It has led to several women being forced to flee their homes after their personal details were published online and they received countless threats of rape and violence.

“Next time she shows up at a conference we… give her a crippling injury that’s never going to fully heal… a good solid injury to the knees. I’d say a brain damage, but we don’t want to make it so she ends up too retarded to fear us” was one such threat, aimed at developer Zoe Quinn, one of the women who had to change address. Another, Anita Sarkeesian, had to cancel a planned talk, after an anonymous threat that “a Montreal Massacre style attack will be carried out against the attendees, as well as the students and staff at the nearby Women’s Center” – referring to a 1989 antifeminist massacre where 14 women were killed. Even controversial conservative commentator Milo Yiannopoulos, who was a supporter of the movement, had to cancel an event after a bomb threat.

But what makes people become a troll? According to a variety of recent studies, there appear to be two main reasons. Firstly, the anonymity provided by many websites removes people’s inhibitions along with their identity — something called deindividuation. Just as crowds can turn into violence and rioting, people online feel they are free to do as they please, with little real consequence.

Secondly, trolling makes people feel better about themselves — an act of digital narcissism like the selfie. Trolls are likely unable to command the same attention or get the same sense of power and control in real life, so they exert it as much as possible online. The average troll is young, male, white — look at Linford House, who burned a poppy in protest against “squadey cunts,” or Sean Duffy, who trolled the Facebook pages of dead teenagers. Of course there are exceptions, but in the bulk of situations these trolls are individuals wanting attention. They are scared by the slow ending of their traditionally dominant position in society and the increasingly poor economic prospects of our generation and so they lash out.

So, while trolls are often hilarious, they can just as often be terrifying. What they are not, however, is evil — the ones who commit the more despicable acts are just deeply troubled and desperate for attention in order to feel good about themselves. So next time somebody calls you a “total cuck mangina”, tell them to engage in some more positive digital self-love, to whack out that Snapchat dog filter and take some selfies. But do not try to respond to them seriously — you would not want to feed the troll.

All usernames and comments appear here exactly as they were originally posted

Chicken shop supremacy

For anyone who has worked as a waiter or waitress, you will probably have been treated in a way that the majority of the population has not been subjected to. People talk down to waiters, people talk down to restaurant staff, all the social graces and manners that people in Britain have can mysteriously disappear when their steak is over-cooked, or they are sat too close to the bathrooms. It is a sad reality, but what is one notch worse than the treatment of restaurant waiters and waitresses, is the treatment of people who work at fast-food outlets.

A case in point would be that of a Michael Corcoran, a former Cardiff and Oxford United footballer. He drank over a gallon of beer before ending his night at Kebab Zero in Kingsland Road, Shoreditch. There he chanted racist abuse at Michelle Kwarteng, banging on the shop counter and staring into her eyes. Having been identified by Kwarteng, PC Tracey Chapman attempted to arrest Corcoran outside Shoreditch Town Hall, he pushed her aside and fled across the road, running straight into a car and then requiring treatment for minor injuries by paramedics. Corcoran was convicted of assaulting a police officer and racially aggravated harassment in January 2016, and was ordered to carry out 220 hours unpaid work and pay £1,085 in fines and costs at Thames Magistrates’ Court. (Hackney Gazette)

I have seen it, they way certain men order food in kebab and chicken shops, if they aren’t banging on the counter and running into cars there is still a kind of rhetoric that comes with ordering their fast food late at night. Something about being inebriated, under the cover of night, and surrounded by their friends makes them talk in a certain way. It is symptomatic of ladism, of lad culture. Although, I find the marriage of the word lad and culture unsettling in itself, the way lads behave is so dramatically divorced from anything that gets described in cultural terms, perhaps they need a new name? Try lad supremacy, for one of the many heinous characteristics of the lad in 2016 are his delusions of grandeur, the idea that he is better than everyone else, that he must have the last most authoritative word on everything.

This notion of supremacy manifests itself overtly in the arena of the chicken shop. As I witnessed last Monday, when a ‘white lad’ ordered from a BME restaurant worker, he attempted to establish himself in all his hollow alpha masculinity. It was just after 1.00am on Wilmslow Road, Fallowfield. It was in a chicken shop. The guy who was cooking that night, who I often see working there, has these terrible hours yet still manages to provide a fast, personable service. I have been going there for years, and something that keeps me coming back is that service. So when I see, first hand, lad supremacists talking to him in a derogatory, condescending tone weighted with the full force of British ignorance and prejudice, it makes my skin crawl.

I had ordered, sat down, when these two young guys walked in with that distant, drunken look in their eyes. Bearing in mind there is a huge menu printed above the counter. One asked, ‘how much for three fillets?’ the chef tells him it’s 50p a fillet but chips are extra. “What? Where’s the other guy? The other guy normally does me three nice fillets and puts some chips in their as well”, at this point his friend mumbled something about not having much money but was quickly assured by the one ordering that, “don’t worry it’s fine”. He continued, “look can we get six fillets with chips, three quid”. It wasn’t a question, he wasn’t really ordering, he was telling the chef what he wanted and how much he was going to pay for it.

And so it went on, similar to a thousand other scenes like it all over the country that probably happen every night. I imagine you have seen it too, maybe not a loud, brazen display like that of Michael Corcoran, but probably something a little more back-handed, more clandestine. In something as small as the tone of voice of a drunken man, can exist decades worth of deeply entrenched ideas of racial superiority. Even when you remove race from the equation, the language a man will use arguably reveals something. The derogatory, patronising words he uses are chosen in an attempt to exert authority. Maybe he is searching for order in a life that is otherwise spiralling out of control. For what these displays of macho arrogance reveal to us is not strength, but weakness. They attempt to bolster their claims at manhood by ‘looking tough’ in front of their friends, yet their insecurity shines.

This kind of behaviour is not secluded to fast-food restaurants, it happens everywhere. There is no immediate, magnanimous solution but one incident told to me by a friend when I was in the process of writing this article, serves as a kind of model of what we can strive to do. So this friend, N, was in Sheffield, at a kebab shop after midnight. A middle-aged man was being told that he had to wait in line to get his order, like everyone else. He worked himself into a rage and stormed out uttering the most archaic of British racial slurs, ‘P***i’, loudly under his breath. N has never appeared to me a confrontational person but she said, that on this occasion, she could not contain herself. She followed this man of nearly 50 years out the door and called him on what he had said. “You CAN’T say that to people”, “it was just a joke, I…I…”, it doesn’t matter if it was “a joke, you CANNOT call people that”. The man was left dumbstruck at being made to swallow his pride at the hands of a woman half his age.

Call them on it, don’t let it go unchecked.

Sweet Potato and Spinach Dal Recipe

Serves 4

Oven at 180˚ fan
Prep time: 15 minutes
Cook time: 40 minutes

Ingredients
3 medium sweet potatoes
½ tsp fennel seeds
1 tsp cumin seeds
olive oil

Diced onion
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground coriander
1tsp ground turmeric
200g red lentils
400ml coconut milk
600ml vegetable stock
3 handfuls spinach (or 3 blocks of frozen spinach)

Naan (optional)

It is so cold outside that all I want to eat is a big bowl of carbs. Unfortunately that is not a very healthy option, so instead I make this dal. Lentils can get a bad rap but this dish changes that, it is full of flavour — perfect for those on a pre-Christmas budget. The sweet potatoes are what makes it special although the naan can make a great addition. Handy hint: if you buy it from your local takeaway it will taste so much better than supermarket ones and cost about the same.

Heat the oven to 180˚. Dice the sweet potatoes (wash them but leave the skin on) into 2cm cubes and place on a roasting tray. Sprinkle over the fennel and cumin seeds with a glug of olive oil, season well with salt and pepper and toss to coat. Roast in oven for 40 minutes, turning occasionally until cooked through.

Heat a little more olive oil in a large, heavy bottomed pan (essential to stop the lentils from burning) and add the diced onion. Cook until soft and translucent, about 7 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the spices — cinnamon, cumin, coriander, turmeric — and stir through the softened onions.

Pour in the lentils, coconut milk and vegetable stock to the pan, stir, and bring to a simmer. Ensure the hob is on the lowest heat and leave the dal to cook for 25 minutes, stirring frequently to stop the lentils from sticking to the bottom. Add some hot water if necessary to stop the lentils from burning. Drop the spinach into the cooked dal and stir to wilt.

Serve with the sweet potatoes on top and naan on the side.

Feature: Should you ever meet your heroes?

You have £150 and you decide to treat yourself. What would you buy? Perhaps you would purchase one remarkably cute kitten? Or 600 of Cadbury’s finest Freddos to store for winter hibernation? Or would you spend it on breaking the golden rule of never meeting your heroes? I chose the latter of the three — as tempting as the other options sound.

Myles Kennedy, otherwise known as the hardest working man in rock music today and two-time winner of Loudwire’s Best Vocalist award, is a human I am very much in awe of. So when Kennedy’s band, Alter Bridge, offered a meet and greet package for UK fans, it was nigh on impossible to resist spending some of my hard-earned cash on a brief encounter with the man himself.

After purchasing this golden ticket, I started to hope that I was going to be as lucky as Jack (of magic beans fame). Was this daylight robbery or will this really be a little piece of magic that I will treasure forever? The package promised: a photo with the band, access to soundcheck, early access to the venue, a limited edition poster and a tour laminate. A selfie with Bieber is $2,000, so this was feeling like a pretty good deal.

However, I could not help but feel as though I had just purchased a ticket to this century’s interpretation of a freak show — a human zoo in which we all queue to gawp at these celestial beings.

For preparation purposes, I resorted to YouTube to seek out what to expect from an Alter Bridge meet and greet. Fan-made videos showed four men sat behind a table with the pictorial definition of ‘perturbed’ splattered across their faces. I was surprised at the pluck of some of the fans, shoving cameras in the band’s faces with the same vigour one would encounter in a Tom & Jerry pie-throwing duel. It was at this point that I started to doubt that I had signed my soul — and £150 — away to the right cause.

On the day of the meet and greet, my stomach was an aviary of wingèd creatures. After experiencing three stages of queuing purgatory at Manchester Arena, a stern lady approached us and asserted that she and the security team would be “ruling our meet and greet with an iron fist.”

The whole experience was all too reminiscent of queuing for lunch in primary school, contending with the draconian command of dinner ladies in a quest to get a slice of that highly sought after rainbow sprinkles cake. However, I was pleasantly surprised by the camaraderie among the fans who were present. It was wonderful to be nestled into this personification of a patchwork quilt, all unique pieces but all part of the same foundation that contribute to the success of Alter Bridge. We should never underestimate the sheer power music has in connecting the dots of our individualistic society.

Overall, we spent no more than fifteen minutes in the presence of the band, and only one of these minutes allowed for any face-to-face interaction. We danced the Hokey Cokey for two hours, a very strict ‘in-out, in-out’ policy when it came to moments with the band.

This rush left me with very little time to compute the reality of the situation. Thus, when my 10 seconds with Myles Kennedy arrived, “it’s a pleasure to meet you” was all I could squeak — twenty-one years of training in the art of conversation and this is what I produced. The cat got my tongue with ferocious tenacity.

I knew I should have said more, but out of fear of Ms Iron Fist and her security minions, I swiftly exited the room as instructed. At time of writing, my photo with the band is yet to be revealed, but one can only hope that my ability to keep my eyes open during the taking of a photo is superior to that of my language production skills.

So to whoever said you should never meet your heroes, I wholly empathise with you after this communicative fiasco. Furthermore, was the package worth £150? Probably not. But if you do get the chance to meet your hero, grab it — despite my conversational glitch, I am still smiling from meeting mine.

63 Degrees

Any time a family member drops by Manchester for a visit it turns into a food extravaganza. I look at my restaurant wish list, pick one or two that are out of my price range and hope they have got a table free. Last weekend was no exception. Mum arrived on Friday to homemade mac and cheese (a guilty pleasure) before ramping up to The Day of Food.

Saturday was to involve lunch at 63 Degrees, supper at El Gato Negro (chef’s table no less, although that did mean eating at the unfashionably early time of 6.15pm) and to top it all off, drinks at The Refuge. Believe you me, if I could have fitted brunch in there I would have! Instead we made do with croissants and homemade jam. Between all of this bounty, we explored the Christmas markets, nibbling on Dutch baby pancakes sprinkled prettily with icing sugar and shopped to our hearts content (ok, about 30 minutes before the crowds beat us).

63 Degrees is tucked away in the Northern Quarter (as all restaurants in this area of town appear to be). It is a family-run French establishment with an expensive à la carte menu and an ultra reasonable set menu at £20 for 3 courses (available Tuesday to Friday from noon until 2.30pm, as well as Saturday and Sunday from midday until 5.00pm) Having instructed mum that she could not have what I wanted, and not to touch the food before I had gotten a photo (she promptly forgot this edict), we ordered.

The set menu is to the point, with three starters and three main courses, all well chosen. Unlike many restaurants in France itself, vegetarians are well catered for here with a soup of the day (pumpkin, if I remember correctly) and a parsnip risotto with coconut milk. We bypassed these possibilities and went for the pork and chicken terrine, and the scallop ‘crumble’ with sweet potato. I don’t know quite what the crumble was, but the sweet potato puree was phenomenal, and the scallops perfectly cooked. A side note here, I often think that the bread offered by a restaurant serves as a good barometer for the quality of the restaurant as a whole, and this bread was no exception. Served both with the terrine and for the table, was a light walnut bread that was so good that I went back for more.

Sticking with seafood, I chose sea bass with fennel for the main, served with a hollandaise sauce. It was simply executed and tasted exactly as it should. My mum ordered the restaurant’s signature dish, Volaille 63 degrés, which was a ballotine of chicken stuffed with mushrooms and served with cauliflower. While I am not the greatest fan of mushrooms, I must say that this was also a well thought out plate of food. My only problem with the meal was the lack of carbohydrates, so if you would like anything more than bread, you need to remember to order it. The portion sizes are perfect for lunch or a light supper and we still had room for dessert.

The à la carte menu features macarons and cakes from the amazing Didsbury patisserie, Bisou Bisou, among other offerings. The set menu gives a choice between French cheeses and a crème brulée. As my mum loves crème brulée we ordered one with two spoons (I was saving myself for pancakes later on). Intriguingly, the pudding’s description merely said “flavours from childhood”. The sugar glaze was lit in front of us, and provided an entertaining show as the flame danced over the plate. The idea of a childhood flavour to the crème puzzled us for we recognised the taste but could not quite place it. It was sweeter than just vanilla but not overpowering. In the end, a waiter put us out of out misery and announced it was bubblegum. Thankfully, it is just a hint and not the strident flavour I remember from my days on the playground.

I cannot recommend 63 Degrees highly enough, whether your parents are visiting or you simply want a treat, you won’t be disappointed. If only there were a restaurant this good in the sleepy French village where we spend Christmas.

P.S. El Gato Negro is pretty damn good too, but costs so much more. Graduation, maybe?

Castlefield Gallery: Miniature World

The new exhibition at the Castlefield Gallery is a small wonder in many respects. Miniature World encapsulates many aspects of the search for better understanding of the world around us, in many different mediums showing the small steps to the bigger picture. The exhibition holds artefacts and diagrams of scientific concepts, miniature models of fantastical scenes, and more close-to-reality situations. It is these models depicting scenes closest to my own heart that captured my imagination.

Claire Tindale’s exhibits holds tiny models of ‘behind the scenes’ medical equipment which looks at the roles involved in taking care of dementia patients. The models are accompanied by scaled down versions of the rooms created from the memories of the patients, which makes the models — that by themselves can be clinical — really come to life. As the rooms are empty, it brought to mind the sense of loss that dementia can bring to patients and to their families, as well as to those working closely with them. I think anyone with a connection to the disease would find this part of the exhibition particularly interesting.

Another fascinating collection of pieces was created by Iain Andrews, an array of monsters, figurines, and the paintings they inspired based on folk tales and biblical narratives. His beautifully historical style of painting and the traditional themes surrounding them are in juxtaposition with the strange creatures that have been modelled and painted into them. Altogether, the images created are thought provoking — the longer you look at them the more detail you find raising more questions rather than providing answers.

The exhibition as a whole is odd, it is hard to find a link that would put each collection under the same title. Whilst each artist’s collection is intriguing and stunning in its own right, the ensemble seems disjointed. Regardless, I would recommend this exhibition to anyone looking to think deeply about the world around them as it was all I could think about for hours after leaving.

The Castlefield Gallery is showing the collection until the 22nd of January 2017 and I may be visiting again before it leaves.

Review: Love’s Labour’s Lost

Love’s Labour’s Lost was an outstanding adaptation of Shakespeare’s comedy, capturing the wit and intricate ways in which words are twisted and played with, which the play is so famous for, wonderfully.

Despite the complexities of the plays references and clever wordplay, the play never felt inaccessible, credit for which should go to the cast. The acting wonderfully captured the various levels of tone the play goes through from slapstick humour to in-depth explorations of what it means to be in love, and how language expresses it.

Other than the exploitation of the power words, the plays main plot line, for those not familiar with it, follows the the forsaking of earthly pleasures in order to concentrate the mind on studying. Students will probably find the dilemmas of the plot resonant, as the main characters struggle to balance their desire to study with other seemingly more powerful desires.

The set design which had been built to mimic an Edwardian English manor house in the midst of summer seemed to have a character all to itself. The movement of set, with the inner rooms of the manor house sliding backwards as the scenes of the princesses party of women locked outside the house appeared on the stage, heightened the sense of the two worlds of earthly pleasures and study colliding.

Nigel Hess’ score dominated much of the play, largely to great success. The music of the play was integral to many of the scenes and helped to set the shifting tones of the play; however it felt that at times the musical segments were expanded beyond necessity. This was particularly true of the ending which while remaining true to the original script ended with a song, seemed to unnecessarily linger.

The intention of this prolonged ending, with the actors staring out into the audience was perhaps to heighten an awareness that the play is not in fact over, that final promise of reunion between the lovers in ‘twelvemonth and a day’, is ‘too long for a play’, which is why the play is believed to be paired with ‘Much Ado About Nothing’ or ‘Love Labours Won’.

This idea is being tested on the stage as both plays are brought to the Opera House, with the same company of actors playing in both performances, on the same Edwardian set. By presenting both plays together has enabled the cast and director to explore hands on the ways in which they speak to each other.

It is hard however to pass judgement on whether this match effective without watching the paired play. The idea that the play’s pairing is an empirical test of the hypothesis that Much Ado About Nothing, is another name for the lost play, and sequel to Love Labour’s Lost, Love Labour’s Won, is difficult to judge. Without having the two plays consecutively played on one night, it is difficult for those who do not attend on both nights to decide whether the similarities suggested are there.

That is not to say I cannot see where the plays do overlap, particularly in respect to the wit and sparring nature of the relationships presented; however if the plays have been produced to reflect each other in tone an style, it is hard for those other than the actors and the very committed theatre goers to view it as a double-bill.

Perhaps if it had been performed as such, abridging both plays, to create an extended double-bill of the two, the intended speculation that the two plays are closely connected or that Much Ado About Nothing is in fact Love’s Labour’s Won, would be made more potent and accessible

Album: Thee Oh Sees – An Odd Entrances

November 18th 2016 via Castle Face Records

6.5/10

An Odd Entrances is the eighteenth album by the Californian band and their second of 2016, following August’s A Weird Exits. It is impossible to describe An Odd Entrances without the context of A Weird Exits; the two albums, the first to be recorded with the new two drummer line up, were recorded during the same session and are undoubtedly companion pieces.

A Weird Exits took the bands trademark garage rock sound and gave it a more psychedelic, almost cosmic edge, all the while maintaining the energetic noise rock elements synonymous with Thee Oh Sees incredible live performances.

An Odd Entrances’ six tracks, three of which are instrumentals, take the sound from A Weird Exists and stretch it into several different genres expanding on themes that subtly inhabit the previous album.

Tracks like ‘The Poem’ seem an ode to sixties folk with a violin throughout and Tolkieneque lyrics, while ‘Jammed Exit’ is a continuation of A Weird Exits’ ‘Jammed Entrances’ sharing the same groove but adding an oddly well-fitting wayward flute to the mix of droning synths and metronomic drum and bassline.

The following track ‘At The End, On The Stairs’ is one of the odder tracks on the record sounding as though it wouldn’t be out of place on a sixties smooth jazz album, if it weren’t for the occasional psych rock guitar solo.

The next track ‘Unwrap the Fiend, Pt.1’ is a prelude to the A Weird Exits track ‘Unwrap the Fiend, Pt.2’ which, despite the confusion of releasing the prelude after the main track, is probably one of the best tracks on the album with a great drumming that highlights the fantastic rolling guitars.

The final track ‘Nervous Tech (Nah John)’ exemplifies the reason for having two drummers both of whom get to show their talent as noise driven guitars start and stop giving the track a sporadic, almost improvised feel.

It is hard to argue that An Odd Entrances is not an album of leftovers from the A Weird Exists session. While almost all the tracks individually are fantastic, the lack of consistency means there is no coherent message within the album, but that may be the point; the confusing track listing and even more incoherent album names gives this pair of albums a sense of disorganisation indicative of the bands sound.

While I doubt anyone would call An Odd Entrances the best album from the Californian rockers, for fans of Thee Oh Sees this is another good addition to their impressively consistent catalogue of albums.